The Rake Magazine

Year: 2007

  • Ugly And Slouchy

    Ok, that was brutal. And long.

    Jesse Crain may have taken the loss –and he was awful– but you can pin this one on the offense.

    Here’s the ugliest fine print from the boxscore, and the best indication of the difference between the the two teams in terms of hitting approach: Minnesota pitchers threw 236 pitches; Cleveland’s threw 141. Time and again the Indians had long, tough at bats, fouling off pitches and working deep counts. The Twins, meanwhile, were just hacking away, provoking unpleasant flashbacks of 2005.

    Though I still don’t think the Indians have done enough to shore up their bullpen, you sure wouldn’t know it from last night’s game.

  • These Things I Believed

    wall torso-5.jpg

    Am I too old to see the fairies dance?

    I cannot find them anymore.

    –Langston Hughes, from “After Many Springs”

    That the light would last forever.

    That a silent abracadabra was the appropriate blessing to be conferred on even the grayest new morning.

    That a dog was both a lantern and a life preserver.

    That a man could escape from the belly of a whale, even without the help of a dog, a lantern, or a life preserver.

    That John Wayne wore his pants pulled up too far for my taste.

    That a good baseball mitt was as beautiful an object of pure design as anything ever produced by an Italian.

    That baseball was one of the few things in America that made perfect sense.

    That a dream deferred accrued interest.

    That a goat was a more worthy subject for a tale than a donkey.

    That a starving man could live on laughter and conversation.

    That a green chair was enchanted.

    That Nick Lowe was the most underrated artist in all of rock.

    That Roddy Frame was a close second.

    That there was always a fish at the other end of the line.

    That there was a bobber at the bottom of my throat.

    That a man could be the ringmaster, walk the high wire, and both be and tame the lion.

    That oblivion was a worthwhile destination.

    That hamburgers could be grown in a garden.

    That beetles were among the planet’s most spectacular creations.

    That impostors almost always wear the crown.

    That the spirit of the living creatures was in the wheels

    That a year in the attendant’s booth of a parking ramp provided a better and more sensible education than Plato’s Academy.

    That a heart could not live by breaking.

    That desire could cripple a man.

    That soup was the perfect food.

    That a fingerprint doesn’t prove a fucking thing.

    That Wayne Shorter was the most underrated artist in all of jazz.

    That Freddie Hubbard was a close second.

    That questions had answers.

    That one could persist in asking questions, and survive the answers.

    That all the moral blather in the world could be boiled down to two words: be careful.

    That Sweet’s Desolation Boulevard was a more consistently entertaining record than anything released in 2006.

    That a meager body and feeble hands could save a life, could cradle a heart and keep it safe, and could communicate things the mind and mouth could never find the words to say.

    That a heretic could speak the truth.

    That a parrot could –and should– be taught to recite poetry.

    That Funny Bones was one of the top ten movies ever made.

    That a man’s soul could survive the wrecking ball.

    That if you taught a woman to dance you could kiss her goodbye.

    That on a dark night and the right road, Little Willie John could tear out your spleen.

    That George Herriman’s Krazy Kat was as inspired as anything in literature.

    That the Gilligan’s Island musical Hamlet was better than Hamlet.

    That a closet full of suede Pumas was the mark of a stylish man.

    That you should never stop expecting people to surprise you.

    That all the big, ridiculous things were possible, were tangible, were true.

    That there was magic in human hands.

    That some form of magic was always at hand.

    That this was a world without end.

    I was right about some of those things, maybe even most of them.

    Go ahead and tell me I wasn’t and see where it’ll get you.

  • Everything's Political — Even Lipstick

    MUSIC
    Brooklyn-based Afrobeat and Cuban Krudas

    Antibalas.jpgThere’s no doubt about it; the must-see performance of the evening is Antibalas — though I must say that I’m looking forward to seeing the opening act — Las Krudas — more than the main show. Two black lesbian sisters and a white lesbian singing about female liberation — it’s like a big, bad, beautiful joke that you just have to keep repeating. Who says you can’t be gay in Cuba? In truth, both groups are awesome. If you like Afro-beat, jazz, hip-hop, or funk — even a little — you won’t want to miss this. Antibalas puts on quite the show. “The multilayered, polyrhythmic funk of Fela Kuti is the core inspiration for this Brooklyn-based Afrobeat collective. Like Kuti, they also pair rise-up political lyrics with a disobedient beat that refuses to lie down.”

    8 p.m., First Avenue, 701 First Avenue N, Minneapolis; 612-332-1775; $15.

    Listen to Antibalas.
    Listen to Las Krudas.

    ART
    Near Infrared Spectrum

    Tracy2.jpgI don’t usually go for cafe art — as if it even comprises a categorical genre– but if you haven’t seen Tracy Anderson’s Infraspective exhibit at Tillie’s Bean, you might just want to swing by tonight for a cup-a-joe and an eyeful. You have just four days left to catch this digital photography in the near-infrared spectrum exhibit. Anderson, a scientist specializing in the fields of microscopy and digital imaging at the University of Minnesota, aims to showcase the beauty of the “unseen” world through experimental photography. It makes for some interesting images.

    6 a.m. – 9 p.m., Tillie’s Bean, 2803 E 38th St, Minneapolis; 612-276-0100.

    DISCUSSION
    How Should Media Cover High-Profile Crimes?

    Dru98.jpgIt’s National Ethics in Journalism Week. Did you have any idea? Maybe it’s just not in the media’s best interest to tell you about it, eh? Maybe they don’t want you to question their ethics. I, however, do — so listen up. This year’s Ethics Week is about minimizing harm, and tonight’s forum is titled, “When Tragedy Strikes, What is the Media’s Role?” Panelists include Amy Forliti, of the Associated Press – Minneapolis; Molly Miron of the Bemidji Pioneer; Nancy Sabin, executive director of the Jacob Wetterling Foundation; Sue Turner of WCCO-TV; and Linda Walker, mother of the late Dru Sjodin — the University of North Dakota student murdered in 2003. Stop by to explore how media covers high-profile criminal incidents, and what kind of impact this coverage has on victims and their families.

    7 p.m., McNamara Alumni Center, University of Minnesota, 200 Oak St SE, Minneapolis; 612-624-7583; free.

    THEATER AND PERFORMANCE
    White Lipstick and Segregation

    Hair2.jpgIf you’re looking for something a bit less “ethical” and upright, but with the right political twist, go catch the opening night of Hairspray. Go back to 1962 and watch Tracy Turnblad prove that big girls with big hair and big hearts can fulfill big dreams. I have to admit, I’m a huge fan of the John Waters version, and you just never know how that’s going to translate to a Broadway musical; but it did win eight Tony Awards in 2003, so it can’t be all bad. Besides, in this case the chicken definitely came before the egg — whatever that means.

    7:30 p.m., The Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis; 612-373-5600; $22-$67.

  • Andrew Zimmern to FM 107

    As of June 4, the ubiquitous Andrew Zimmern will settle into a regular weekday gig at Hubbard Broadcasting’s FM 107. Zimmern will take the 1 to 3 pm slot, with The Satellite Sisters cut back an hour, 11 to 1, and Kevyn Burger also losing one hour, 9 to 11 am.

    GM Dan Seeman concedes that Zimmern’s 10-12 weeks-a-year travel schedule will require a stable of regular contributors.

    Zimmern is currently doing a Saturday morning show for KTLK-FM.

  • Michele's Looking Out for Us, Again

    This from the St. Cloud Times about our gal Michele being one of seven Republican House members to vote against a bill that would require the IRS to notify tax payers if there was evidence their identity had been stolen.

    Why the hell would anyone vote against that?

    But then I read down a bit more in the story: “The bill also would require the IRS to notify low-income workers that they qualify for a tax break known as the Earned Income Tax Credit.”

    That, undoubtedly, is the rub. Michele can’t in good conscience vote for any measure that might limit the amount of tax that can be collected from the very people who are rightfully burdened already: the poor who benefit from the EITC.

    Thank God Michele is on the job. Otherwise those poor folks who have to worry about the onerous 15 percent capital gains tax might have to pick up the slack.

  • Dome Again, And Facing Yet Another Left Hander

    The Twins thus far vs. right handers: .304 BA, .375 OBP, .451 SLG.

    And vs. southpaws: .240, .274, .343.

    That last number isn’t much helped by the fact that two of the Twins’ right-handed power guys, Michael Cuddyer and Torii Hunter, are hitting .207 and .208, respectively, against lefties.

    The real problem for Minnesota at the moment is that the guys who are scoring and driving in most of the runs are bunched up in the middle of the order. In almost every respect the piranhas have been a bust, particularly when it comes to getting on base.

    If Joe Mauer is determined to be the sort of hitter that wins batting titles it might be time to move him into the lead-off spot. Seriously. The guy has a .473 OBP, is three for three in stolen base attempts, and is now twenty-five out of twenty-nine for his career. I say move him up, and bat Morneau third, Cuddyer fourth, and Hunter fifth. Morneau is now the only regular on the team with more walks than strikeouts, and if you bat him third you get him a first-inning at-bat every night.

  • Winners!

    It was close, but “Mary Ellen”, one of the most ferocious leg-rasslers in Twin Cities history, beat out reader “Tom”, by 14 minutes in posting the Scarlett Johansson/Bob Dylan video of, “When the Deal Goes Down”.

    My thanks to both, and if we can coordinate a gathering at say Robin Marty’s every other week “Drinking Liberally” get-togethers at the 331 Club, I’ll buy a beverage for each.

    Here are their clips: Mary Ellen’s.

    And Tom’s.

    (They’re the same.)

  • Voltage: Thumb on Rewind

    From the department of better late than never: The Rake‘s fabulous online editor, Cristina Cordova, was at Voltage this year, too, where she gathered the following video outtakes.

    This first one includes great footage of the night’s opening act, Dance Band, along with runway accompaniment by Annie Larson (you know, those jumpers I mentioned in the previous post) as well as the relatively unfinished looks of Labrador. To throw ’em a bone, I’ll admit that I’m coveting Labrador’s strappy green, orange, and white dress (the second to last women’s outfit seen here). But, uh, does that come in a D-cup, please? Also included in this video: Killer panty shot!


    Click To Play

    This next video features infectious pop by a band called the Mood Swings. I particularly like ’em cuz the lead chanteuse, Sallie Watson, comes straight from one of my fave ’90s local bands, Lily Liver. (She’s also a buyer at Macy’s, according to the program notes.) And as far as the fashion show goes: The moon hung low on its black chord … when pieces by Peloria, a designer exploring the “connection of architectural fibers,” attached some heavy-metal hardware to her dresses and sent their asses draggin’ on down the runway. Nextup was Kjurek Couture: billowy and/or gushing florals. Friends, these are the dresses your boyfriend wishes you would wear.


    Click To Play

    Last but not least: Now that I’ve given George Moskal’s line a second look, I finally see the nod to Little Edie Beale. Pay special attention, folks, to Moskal’s first and second outfits. They’re fabulous! Second up was Ra’Mon Lawrence, who wowed the audience with his reversible and even transformable clothes. Presto! A cropped jacket became a long dress; a sash became a floor-length skirt. Note the trio of babes who open Lawrence’s presentation. The one in the middle inspired someone in the audience to shout: “Good hair, girl!”


    Click To Play

    And that’s all she (C.D., who contributed this commentary) wrote.

  • Gonzales, Johansson & Cooper, Oh My!

    THREE quick mini media reviews:

    ONE: I caught most of Alberto Gonzales’ “testimony” on NPR while driving north last Thursday. As a product of the Watergate era and more televised Nixon press conferences than I care to remember, (the ones with the sweaty upper lip were the best), plus a few impromptu Spiro Agnew vs. inquisitors, Edwin Meese, James G. Watt and Ollie North circuses, I thought I had seen every possible variation on clumsy prevarication in high public officials … until Gonzales took his oath.

    It was astonishing. It was so bad in fact that I couldn’t trust my own instincts. So I tuned back in at 8 Thursday night for NPR’s hour-long analysis with Nina Totenberg, not one to normally engage in hyperbole. Both Totenberg and her sources confirmed my gut reaction. A disaster of historic proportions. Unprepared, unprofessional and unabashedly clueless.

    Formal reviews poured in the next day. But being the type who regularly thinks darker motivations for public perforemances often go unreported in the mainstream press, (because they can’t be verified by two or more on-record sources), I shifted to hardened cynic mode and asked myself if Gonzales, who we know had “prepared” for his testimony, belly-flopped on purpose. I mean, he’s obviously covering up for someone higher up, and we can all guess who. But did he perform spectacularly badly on purpose?

    [Close Up: Eyes darting furiously, searching for a rational with a semblance of logic.] Could Gonzales’ performance be part of a distraction campaign? Yeah! That’s it! Distraction! He’s so pathetically inept he temporarily draws attention away from all the other colossal blunders and scandals of the Bush administration, taking all the focus and heat at least for another couple weeks, giving his mentors time to cobble together fallback Strategy “R” before throwing him under the bus.

    OK, lets give that a 20% probability. With an 80% likelihood that Gonzales really is as entirely clueless and overwhelmed as he seems, and just another example of a “loyal Bushie” caught in the headlights. (By the way. I don’t recommend reading Rajiv Chandrasekaran’s, “Imperial Life in the Emerald City” while following either the US Attorney’s story or anything about Alberto Gonzales, Monica Goodling, or, God forbid, Rachel Paulose.)

    TWO: With the action at my favorite northern Wisconsin roadhouse winding down early Saturday night — the three hard-smokin’ gals cleaned up on the penny slots and bought their gentlemen callers a round of $1.50 beers — I decided to tune in “Saturday Night Live”, assuming they couldn’t resist a Gonzales skit.

    Ok, so I remembered Scarlett Johansson was hosting. Shoot me. But the answer on Gonzales was, “no”. They opened instead with Jason Sudeikis as Bush doing a press conference honing down the terms by which he’d allow “senior White House officials” to testify before the Judiciary Committee. Sudeikis does a better Bush than Seth Meyers, but for sheer spacey pugnacity no one can compare with Will Ferrell’s 15-watt George W.

    Later, Meyers and Amy Poehler did a bit called, “Really?” in the middle of their “Weekend Update” shtick. For a satirical skit show that too often pulls punches that might earn it a little more smart crede AND a bigger laugh, the bit was remarkable for the undisguised contempt and derision it threw up at Bushworld. If by now anyone needed some kind of pop indicator of the irreversible implosion of this administration, they could hear it that one little skit.

    Obviously, with the exception of the Star Tribune’s political section, everyone paying attention has concluded that this US Attorneys story is prima facie example of the essential corruption at the heart of the Bush/neo-conservative governing philosophy.

    To put a sharper point on disgust and contempt, the Robert Smigel cartoon, (you can see it here on Crooks and Liars), was more angry than funny as it posited a Dick Cheney-ordered robot for torturing detainees. (Love the bit where the robot sodomizes “60 Minutes’ ” Steve Kroft.)

    Did I mention Scarlett Johansson? Besides everything else, the woman can act. Witness: “Match Point”. (Be a Winner! Your name in print here if you’re the first to send me a link to the video Johansson did for Bob Dylan’s “Modern Times” CD. The one with the ’60s style Minnesota lake vacation imagery. I saw it once, but haven’t been able to connect since.)

    THREE: Back in town Sunday night, I tuned in to “60 Minutes” having heard about a piece Anderson Cooper, on loan from CNN, had done on the “Stop Snitchin’” code being pushed by high-profile rappers and their corporate managers.

    OK, its maybe six months to a year down the pike since, “Stop Snitchin’” stepped out in hip hop culture. But give “60 Minutes” credit for getting to it. (Basically the code admonishes the hip hop faithful to never assist the police in any way, not even to apprehend murderers and rapists.) Its hard to imagine a more counter-productive attitude if you’re trying to create wider sympathy for your cause, but hey, it sells.

    Cooper got one rap star, “Killa’ Cam”, to sit for an interview and concede that selling the “Stop Snitchin’” idea was good for business, and that, conversely, even intimating that you had any kind of moral responsibility to help apprehend violent criminals was bad for business. Moreover — points for candor here — Killa’ Cam emphasized that no record company — including his, which is a division of Time-Warner — would never be so stupid as to step in and tell an artist to dial back on the misanthropy. That, after all, would have a negative impact on shareholder value.

    In the wake of Don Imus, and the debate over the pop imagery that may have fueled Seung Cho’s rampage, it was telling that Cooper and “60 Minutes” couldn’t coax a Time Warner executive out in front of a camera.

    Cooper, who hit every “60 Minutes” intonation cue in his set-up, followed a riveting piece by the under-used Lara Logan. Titled “Life in Baghdad” it was essentially the stories of two Iraqi families trying to survive our campaign of liberation. (So OK, go ahead and read, “Imperial Life in the Emerald City”. But expect your blood pressure to spike.)

    One father, a beefy Tony Soprano-type, drops fresh bullet clips into his revolver to drive his kids to school every day. That is of course on the days a suicide bombing, or a raging gun battle or a security sweep doesn’t prevent them from leaving their house at all. (Had to smile at the guy cruising in a big, waddling Buick Park Avenue.)

    Logan is pretty no-nonsense and ought to make more appearances on, say, “Face the Nation”. I caught her there once, and could tell her “Lets cut the bullshit” tone and line of questioning was a tad too raw for Bob Schieffer and his administration guests. Here’s a clip of one of Logan’s better pieces.

  • A Whole Lot of War Out There

    FILM
    Minnesotans Make History

    672_02_f.gifThe Minneapolis/St. Paul International Film Festival continues tonight with a collection of locally-made, locally-focused documentaries featuring eight profiles of remarkable Minnesotans. The Minnesota Documentaries Program, Change: Past, Present and Future, shows how some of our very own Minnesotans have elicited social change, and highlights changes we can make for the betterment of our future. The eight films — many of them set around WWII — total 106 minutes.

    7:15 p.m., Oak Street Cinema, 309 Oak St. SE, Minneapolis; 612-331-3134; $8 ($6 seniors, $5 students and members).

    View A Sacred Heart, by Norah Shapiro.
    View A Good Doctor by Maxine Davis.

    DISCUSSION
    Why Iraq?

    Boom2.jpgSpeaking of change… maybe it’s time to take a closer look at Bush’s politics as they pertain to Iraq. Join historical political economist Robert Brenner tonight in a discussion of this very topic. Professor of history and director of the Center for Social Theory for Comparative History at UCLA, Brenner is currently in the process of completing his latest book, Why Iraq: The Politics of Bush II, which seeks to understand the Iraq war in the context of the transformations of the domestic economic and political scene taking place over the last three decades, especially the decline of liberalism and the rise of the Republican far right. I don’t know much about this latest endeavor, but if it’s half as good as his last book, The Boom and the Bubble: The US in the World Economy and Merchants and Revolution, you won’t want to miss this event.

    7 p.m., Room 104, Nolte Center for Continuing Education, University of Minnesota East Bank campus, 315 Pillsbury Drive SE, Minneapolis; 612-626-5054; free.

    READING
    Bright Lights, Big Bombs

    Mcinerney2.jpgIf you’re looking for something almost as powerful, and perhaps a bit more hip and less heady, stop by Galleria and join author Jay McInerney for the paperback release of his latest novel, The Good Life, a story of love, family, conflicting desires, and catastrophic loss set in post-9/11 New York City. Best known for Bright Lights, Big City, McInerney has been praised as the contemporary F. Scott Fitzgerald. Of course, I consider Fitzgerald contemporary literature, so I resent anyone trying to displace him, but McInerney certainly writes beautifully, and he has Fitzgerald’s knack for illustrating the more internal corruption of wealth.

    7:30 p.m., Barnes & Noble Booksellers Galleria, 3225 W. 69th St., Edina; 952-920-0633.

    MUSIC
    Red Rap

    buggin2.jpgDon’t go on ignorantly believing that Native American music is all about pow-wows and honky tonk. Stop on down to the Fine Line tonight and catch the Indigenous In Music concert, featuring Buggin Malone, Bluedog, Red Pony Band, and Cochise Anderson. Buggin Malone won Best Rap/R&B/Hip-Hop Recording at the 2006 Native American Music Awards as well as Best Rap Artist of the Year at the 2006 Indian Summer Music Awards. Bluedog, inspired by Stevie Ray Vaughan, Santana, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Jimi Hendrix — with a touch of Janis Joplin vocals — offers a unique blend of contemporary blues, rock, R&B and folk. Cochise, meanwhile, serves up an eclectic ensemble of word songs and powerful poetry with a hip-hop flavor over traditional Native American beats. It should be an interesting show.

    8 p.m., Fine Line Music Cafe, 318 1st Ave N, Minneapolis; 612-338-8100; get a free ticket.

    Listen to Buggin Malone.
    Listen to Bluedog.
    Listen to Cochise Anderson.