Year: 2007

  • Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots…

    …until the bullpen (Version ’06) stepped in and put an end to the mess.

    Torii Hunter, who had 21 doubles in all of 2006, already has eleven.

    The Go-Go Twins: though they’ve been out-homered 23-9, Minnesota now has 46 doubles to opponents’ 25 (and 19 stolen bases to opposing teams’ four).

    Boof is going to have to learn to keep the ball in the yard, but when you look at his numbers from today –seven hits, seven strike outs, and one walk in five innings pitched– it sure seems like he’s close to getting it together. Sidney Ponson he ain’t.

    Kevin Slowey in Rochester: 2-0, with six hits, eleven strike outs, and zero walks in eleven and two-thirds innings pitched.

  • NBA Playoff Preview

    Okay, naturally I’m getting around to my playoff preview less than an hour before the first tip. What follows is my take on seven of the eight series (I went more in depth on my favorite matchup, Houston-Utah, in the post marked “A Little Bit of Everything” a few days ago.), listed in chronological order.

    New Jersey (6th seed) vs. Toronto (3)
    This is where Raptors power forward Chris Bosh stamps himself on the public consciousness as one of the top ten players in the NBA or continues moving under the radar as a mere superstar-to-be. The Nets shouldn’t have anyone who can contain Bosh: Mikki Moore, Jason Collins, Josh Boone, Bostjian Nachbar and an ancient Cliff Robinson are the possibilities. Sometimes Bosh is a little too unselfish (in a usually good, KG kind of way), but if the Raptors are going to win what should be a tough series, he has to exert his will in the paint and exploit the Nets glaring lack of interior defense.

    New Jersey relies on their big (but medium-sized) three of Jason Kidd, Vince Carter, and Richard Jefferson. They are the hottest team in the NBA over the last ten at 8-2, but the Raps have weathered injuries to Jorge Garbajosa and a slew of others and still won two out of three in 2007 (34-17), which has got to be the best mark in the Eastern Conference. New Jersey loves to jack up treys, with the main troika abetted by Eddie House and Nachbar, both of whom are better than 42% behind the arc. If the Nets are scoring from long range and able to compel an up and down tempo, they have a very good shot at winning.

    Raptors coach Sam Mitchell has done a marvelous job of maximizing his talent, but for Toronto to prevail a number of uncertain things have to happen. Not only does Bosh have to go off, but two players with Minnesota connections–center Rasho Nesterovic and forward Kris Humphries–have to make the Nets pay for ignoring them to stop Bosh. In his daunting matchup with Kidd, quicksilver point guard TJ Ford needs to know when to push the pace to exhaust the older, heavier Kidd, and when to pull back and not give oxygen to New Jersey’s lethal transition game. Toronto is also leaning on folks with precious little experience, like Jose Calderon, Joey Graham and Anthony Parker. The last X factor is Vince Carter. Will his adrenaline, goosed by his return to Toronto, where he is justly loathed for quitting on the franchise, force selfish play at the expense of better efficiency from Kidd and Jeff, or will he stay within himself and flow within the Nets’ silky offense?

    Prediction: Bosh and Carter both play well, if sporadically, with Bosh’s low points more injurious to the Raps. Kidd dominates his matchup with Ford (on the court even more than the stat sheet) and New Jersey wins in 6 or 7.

    Miami (4) vs. Chicago (5)
    The obvious question is, what kind of Miami team will show up? Wade carried them early, then got hurt. Shaq returned and carried them for a few weeks, then, as Shaq is wont to do in the regular season, began pacing himself as the Heat plummeted. Coach Pat Riley even took a little time off to refreshen himself for the post-season (via a conveniently timed surgery). Wade still has a bum shoulder. Can these guys–including vets like Payton, Walker, Posey, etc–all just flip a switch and not only elevate their games but have their roles sorted out and fallen into sync? That’s a tall, tall order. On the other hand, there is a tremendous amount of talent and guile among the main actors in this franchise.

    Here are the keys for the Heat:
    Which way are the refs calling it? Shaq has always been the toughest guy to judge on the charge/blocking foul spectrum–he both gets fouled and fouls others without drawing whistles more than anyone in the league–and it will be interesting to see if the refs protect Wade’s ability to penetrate as much as they did last year during the playoffs.
    Will the team continue to create a niche for Eddie Jones? The longtime Miami swingman, deprived of sharing in last year’s championship, is back in town after being cut by Memphis and provided the sort of hunger and hustle and glue-guy value that is absolutely vital for Miami’s chance at a repeat.
    Can Kapono keep nailing treys? Having a kick-out option when the Bulls clog the lane on Wade and also prevent a dump-down to Shaq will really screw with Chicago’s gameplan if Kapono is hot.

    The Bulls are much more of known commodity, with the only real questions being whether Nocioni’s plantar fasciitis has truly abated enough for him to be effective, and if Tyrus Thomas can contribute in a meaningful way after an uneven but recently encouraging rookie year. These are two of the deepest teams in the NBA, so the bench play will be a large factor: If Nocioni is hobbled and Thomas shakey, the Heat veteran subs could steal the show from their more star-studded starters.

    Prediction: Too much discontinuity, even for a squad as talented and seasoned as Miami. Wade can’t perform at his peak and the play of Shaq comes and goes in a major way. Chicago in five or six.

    Orlando (8) vs. Detroit (1)
    Brian Hill has been popular enough in Orlando to enjoy two coaching stints with the Magic, but this is a Disney-crazed place that believes in plasticized cartoon fantasias and lemming-style entertainment, so let’s not mistake a source of enthusiasm for a beacon of competence in these parts. Which is a purposefully snide way to say: Why the hell didn’t Hill totally revolve his team around Dwight Howard? And will he finally, finally, get a clue in the playoffs?

    The Magic shot out of the gate with a 7-3 record on the strength of Howard’s dominance, prompting early talk that the man-child was a legit MVP candidate. But then Orlando inexorably allowed mediocre point guard Jameer Nelson to control more and more of the offense, with horrific results. Bottom line, Nelson finished the season with 2 more field goal attempts than Howard, despite playing 688 fewer minutes. Howard’s FG percentage? 60.3% Nelson? 43%, including a paltry 33.5% from behind the three-point arc.

    For this series, the Pistons have superior matchups at the point guard and small forward spots. Chauncey Billups is simply too strong, smart and talented for Nelson to have his way at either end of the court. The other player important to the offense, Grant Hill, goes up against Tayshaun Prince, an absolutely marvelous defender with quick feet and a huge wingspan. So, unless the Magic plan on riding the outside shooting of Hedo Turkoglu as the super secret plan for upsetting the squad with the best record in the East, they damn well better pound it inside with Howard, who is going up against emotionally inflammable Sheed Wallace, leg and a half phantom defender Chris Webber, the game but undersized Antonio McDyess, the enigmatic Nazr Mohammed, and anyone else the Pistons can throw into the breach.

    In other words, the Pistons don’t have a suitable match-up for Orlando’s best player. If Brian Hill and company don’t make it priority one for Howard to average 30 points and 20 rebounds in this series, they will be swept in four straight. Given what I’ve seen from Hill this year, the prediction is Pistons in four.

    Houston (5) vs. Utah (4)
    To get my take on this series, scroll down to Point 3 on the April 17 entry, “A Little Bit of Everything.” Prediction: Houston in 5 or 6.

    Washington (7) vs. Cleveland (2)
    Could things have set up any better for LeBron James and the Cavs? First comes this walk-over of an injury-decimated Wizards squad, then a favorable matchup against either Toronto or New Jersey. Meanwhile, the Bulls have to go through Miami and Detroit to get to the conference finals, and the Pistons must cope with either the Bulls or the Heat in the second round; both of which, given Detroit’s thin bench, will leave them spent for the finals. Unlike Sports Illustrated’s Jack McCallum, I hardly think the Pistons will “coast” into the championship game, and as of right now would put my money on the Cavs playing the crown in three weeks or so.

    The important thing for Cleveland is to establish the right kind of momentum; treat this series the way boxers deal with sparring partners. LeBron has to work on involving his teammates more often, especially Drew Gooden and Z Ilgauskas, who should be shooting 60% apiece (instead of 47.3% and 48.5%, respectively), by getting easy layups off LeBron’s penetration and pick and rolls. LeBron also have to start laying off the threes (31.%) and start working on his free throws (69.8%)–given the golden opportunity his team has been presented, it is time to stop playing stupidly. Defensive rotations need to be crisper, and the perimeter pressure has to be there from both Larry Hughes and Eric Snow. From the bench, more Aleksander Pavlovic and less Damon Jones; more Anderson Varejao and less Donyell Marshall. And if it costs a game or two to get everything humming, so be it. A gift has been presented–the Wiz without Arenas or Butler has no chance–and the Cavs need to exploit it for the long road ahead.

    Prediction: Cleveland in 4 or 5.

    Los Angeles Lakers (7) vs. Phoenix (2)
    Get out your abacus, because this promises to be a wild and woolly, high-scoring series. The strategy for Phoenix under coach Mike D’Antoni has been to suck opponents into a run-and-gun game, secure in the knowledge that nobody plays that way better than the Suns. But pouring gasoline on the Lakers offense has enough risk to make this a compelling duel. If Kobe is in a groove and making good decisions–one dictated by circumstances rather than the impulses of his ego–and if Lamar Odom and Luke Walton start reveling in fast break drills, then this could easily be a reprise of last year’s classic, seven-game matchup, when Phoenix needed a mighty rally from a 3-1 deficit to prevail.

    Yeah, the Suns have Amare Stoudamire back this season, but can he really be expected to play better than Boris Diaw, Raja Bell and Tim Thomas did in last year’s first round beside Shawn Marion on the Suns’ front line? No, the real key isn’t Stoudamire but whether Raja Bell can remain one of the best in the league at frustrating Kobe. If it gets personal, and Bryant wins the battle while losing the war, the Lakers will be quickly dispatched. But if the Lakers follow Phil Jackson’s superb gameplan from last year’s playoffs, and have Bryant distributing first and scoring second, especially given the increasing familiarity among Kobe-Walton-Odom, it might again go the distance.

    Of course Phoenix won’t take the Lakers lightly again, and knowing that they’re staring at a gauntlet of San Antonio and Dallas to get to the championship series, they’ll be all business and anxious to dispatch LA as quickly as possible. Expect Kobe to put up some ridiculous numbers at least twice, and for Walton’s stock to rise. But in the end, the best player in the NBA this year, Steve Nash, will orchestrate enough clutch baskets to win the close ones, and the foot speed of Barbosa, the tenacity of Bell, the versatility of Marion, and the explosiveness of Stoudamire will simply be too much talent. Prediction: D’Antoni is right: Not even the Lakers can run and gun with the Suns. Phoenix in 6.

    [Part II, written Sunday afternoon]

    Denver 6 vs. San Antonio 3
    There will be all sorts of chatter about the Melo-AI combo, the most prolific scoring duo to grace the playoffs since the shorts got baggy more than a decade ago. But Denver’s hopes of springing an upset probably depend more whether Marcus Camby can discourage the drives to the hoop by Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili that open up Tim Duncan’s off-the window jumpers and treys from the supporting cast–Brent Barry, Robert Horry, Michael Finley, Bruce Bowen–on the perimeter. Camby led the NBA in blocks per game. He’s also a decent threat on the offensive end, hoisting midrange jumpers trailing the break. Given San Antonio’s ability to get back in transition, he should have ample opportunities to shoot them after the Spurs have rebuffed the initial penetration.

    The trade for Steve Blake (a move which only cost them the suddenly redundant Earl Boykins) was a masterstroke for the Nuggets, because Blake is that classic point guard you want as the fulcrum enabling both ends of the Melo-Iverson show. It will be interesting to see if Spurs coach Gregg Popovich uses Parker or Ginobili on Iverson; I’d opt for Parker, who has the foot speed, if not always the inclination, to stay with AI, while Ginobili’s height might hinder Blake’s court vision. If Parker (or Ginobili) can frustrate Iverson into selfish ball domination, and Bowen locks down on Melo, Camby’s defense and the banger-bulk of Nene and Najera become that much more important.

    I anticipate bad blood before this series is over. It will be as physical as the Jazz-Rockets, and there is a surfeit of histrionic personalities involved, from coaches George Karl and Pops, to suffer-the-punishment penetrators like AI and Ginobili, to whiners like Duncan. Despite Karl’s wrongheaded penchant for fast-break basketball (even before he acquired Iverson), Denver will win or lose this series in the paint. And that’s why I’m predicting San Antonio in 5 or 6.

    Golden State (8) vs. Dallas (1)
    Perhaps never has the first game of a first-round playoff series been so crucial to the final outcome. By now everyone knows that Dallas finished six games better than any other NBA team at 67-15, but lost all three tilts with Warriors. The Mavs finished two games shy of the trophy last season, while Golden State is making its first post-season appearance in more than a decade. Whoever wins the opener will have a pretty credible mantra as a psychological edge the rest of the way: For GS, that they have Dallas’s number; for the Mavs, that the playoffs are a whole ‘nother thing than the regular season. This could be over quickly, in 4, 5 tops, or it could be a thrill-a-minute cliffhanger that goes all 7 games.

    I’m splitting the difference. I do think Golden State matches up extremely well with the Mavs, with a deep team of versatile athletes that are playing loose and confident under the role-blurring, position-shifting style of coach Don Nelson. Baron Davis and Monta Ellis are more than a match for Jason Terry and Devon Harris in the backcourt, the trade that brought Al Harrington and Stephen Jackson from Indiana provided Nelson with the talented ‘tweeners he cherishes, and a couple of foreign imports, the center Andris Biedrins and swingman Mickeal Pietrus, are superb, relatively low-profile athletes who can get hot and ambush opponents.

    But the Mavs will ultimately win because the Warriors are too inconsistent. There will be at least one game where Dallas blows them out by 30 or so, and another where the Mavs vast edge in playoff experience will enable them to escape with a win they otherwise wouldn’t earn. That will be the difference in what could be an extremely entertaining matchup of #1 versus #8 seeds. Prediction: Dallas in six.

  • What Is The Sound Of One Hand Clapping?

    One hand, feebly –or perhaps enthusiastically– waving goodbye.

    Have we seen enough of Siddhartha?

    Yes, I believe we have seen enough.

  • Voltage 1.5 (weeks late)

    I had a lovely time at Voltage … I’m sorry I didn’t say so sooner.

    You see, I was mightily impressed by the quality of the craftsmanship on display. By chance, I went to Voltage just after visiting with the owner of a fantastic local boutique. I was surprised to learn that s/he wasn’t going to the show. However, s/he did leave me with a local fashion critique, as well as a word of advice for the local couturieres: “Focus less on the trends, more on the detailing.”

    Well, friend (who shall remain nameless), I’m happy to report that the local clothes-makers are one up. My favorite collections from Voltage were the following:

    jumper.jpg

    jellies.jpg.jpgThose adorable, well-tailored jumpers from Annie Larson (one of which is posted above). And I just love how she paired them with jellies (at left). I’d get plantar fasciitis if ever I wore such flimsy things nowadays, but a girl can’t help but feel nostalgic for the strong arches of yore.

    yellow.jpg.jpgI also loved George Moskal‘s collection, which was supposedly inspired by the documentary Gray Gardens. Having watched that movie several times over, however, I must say, I don’t see the resemblance. (And besides … everyone, even Miuccia Prada, is copying Little Edie this season, right?) Actually, this collection struck me as being rather ’40s inspired. As a side note, I ought to mention that I stopped by the Design Collective last weekend (Voltage Fashion Weekend) and there spotted Moskal’s hit-of-the-runway babydoll dress. In the off chance you wondered who snagged that finery, check the inset. (Pleased to meet ya’; that’s me!)

    gerdes.JPGLast but not least, I suppose it adds little to the conversation to note the strength of Katherine Gerdes‘ jersey dress collection. These pieces have flattering, but simple, cuts and drop-dead gorgeous drapes. In other words: Even chunky and/or busty girls can wear ’em! In fact, while shopping, I did spot the dress at left at Design Collective. It had been a favorite from the runway. It just seemed so sassy on that chick with the blonde afro! But, a dress like that you’ve got to be a very special kind of girl to carry off. On me it just looks like a toga. So, I was happy to notice, just yesterday, that Gerdes has finally launched her online store. Now I can order one up in turquoise or heather gray. (Oh, the agony!)

    By the way, the photo above is by Jenn Torres.

    Now that this blog is fully functional, I vow to be more punctual in providing fashion insights and smack talk. Thanks for reading, friends! Come again, will you?

  • Moyers on the Press on Iraq

    I’ve been waiting months for this one. By agreeing to publicly discuss and examine their culpability in so profound a failure/lapse should be an acid test for any editor … and publisher, certainly those who have ever nattered about journalistic “transparency”.

    Sometimes your credibility rests on your ability to say you were wrong.

  • This MSPIFF, Don't Forget the Kids

    bonkers3.gif

    Everyone’s talking about the Minneapolis/St. Paul International Film Festival, and for good reason: once again, the good fellows down at Minnesota Film Arts have pulled a rabbit from their collective hats, working with few resources to provide one of the great festivals in the country. There’s a slew of intriguing films this year, but none more interesting to me than those at the Childish Film Festival.

    Deb Girdwood and Isabelle Harder have been fighting their own good fight to include the children each year. As I’ve written before, this is an awesome gift to parents in the Twin Cities and especially their kids. We’ve got art programs, theater, music, but very little in the way of adequate alternative movie programming for children. Yes, you can find DVDs and tapes kids can watch, but really, the Childish Film Festival is a place for people–kids–to gather and share experiences. It’s a place to charge the imagination, in ways that surpass the usual garbage that kids get from their local Cineplex.

    I’m especially pleased with Bonkers which shows this Saturday, April 21 at 2:30 at the St. Anthony Main. Frankly, I can’t imagine a better afternoon than this: a picnic lunch along the Mississippi, then Bonkers in the early afternoon, followed by a walk and a talk about what your offspring just encountered.

    Bonkers is a wacky, kooky, sad, and ultimately profound story of Bonnie, a young girl struggling with her family life. Her mother, Lis, is, in Bonnie’s words, “bonkers”. Lis struggles with what appears to be manic-depression, one minute eating ice cream with Bonnie and then, suddenly, waltzing crazily with the handsome waiter who serves them. Other days, poor Lis lays in bed all day, barely able to speak.

    This situation is tolerable because of a loving Grandma who takes care of these two misfits. But when she’s killed in a car accident, Bonnie is thrust into the role of caregiver to her mom, has to feed herself, and stay out of the orphanage. Along the way, Bonnie gets involved in a variety of crazy mishaps, including trying to get her mother to produce a new baby brother, befriending the crazy lady next door, and bringing home an elephant.

    Bonkers is crazy-fun, full of the mania kids love, gross-out scenes and touching moments of love and friendship. But it also has that patient, understanding, and ultimately respectful approach to life’s problems that American children’s films avoid like the plague. The filmmakers seem to understand, as ours do not, that children possess brains, are acutely observant, and can often take care of themselves better than adults. I challenge anyone to find a movie from this country with a mother as sexually active as Lis (and she’s no slut–she’s a lonely single mom who wants a good relationship), or that takes a good look at serious mental illness with such aplomb (if anything, we’d overdo the pathos, if we would address it at all). If you want an afternoon of cinematic fun that’s well acted, directed, and thought-provoking to boot, Bonkers is not to be missed.

  • Sweep

    Wow. Three straight bunts in the seventh –a couple for base hits, and a sacrifice.

    That’s winning ugly, but I guess it’s still winning. I hate small ball, though. And I hate bunts. I really do. I particularly despise the sacrifice bunt. That sort of stuff is rinky-dink baseball. Or piranha baseball, if you’re buying into that monkey business.

    So much of what constitutes baseball strategy –especially the ingrained, knee-jerk stuff like the sacrifice bunt– chaps my ass.

    I’m not going to argue with 16-for-16 in the stolen base department, however. Quick, though, somebody do the homework and tell me how many of those sixteen guys ended up scoring.

    For the second
    straight year the Twins have gotten superb play from their super subs; this season’s cast: Tyner, Rodriguez, and Casilla.

    Speaking of rinky-dink, conventional-wisdom baseball, how about Seattle’s misfortunes with the intentional walk? First Morneau was given an intentional pass to load the bases and set the stage for Hunter’s grand slam on Tuesday night; then, last night Jarrod Washburn intentionally walked Joe Mauer with one out, and the next batter, Michael Cuddyer, doubled off reliever Juan Matteo to give the Twins a 3-2 lead.

    And still Mike Hargrove hadn’t learned his lesson; Morneau was intentionally walked to load the bases for the second time in the inning, and Mike Redmond followed with a two-run single.

    The unexpected
    : Carlos Silva (2.00) and Ramon Ortiz (2.05) have lower ERAs than Johan Santana (3.00). Thus far Boof Bonser has been a disappointment (6.89) and Sidney Ponson has pretty much been the disappointment we all expected (8.18).

    The bullpen has had more rocky outings than we’re accustomed to seeing, the team has been out-homered 16-8, and the Twins have already seen a rash of mostly nagging injuries (Rondell White, Jeff Cirillo, Nick Punto, Torii Hunter, Jesse Crain, and Luis Castillo), yet the team is 10-5, coming off its second series sweep of the season, and in first place in the Central.

    All of this is surely good news as the team heads to Kansas City to take on the lowly Royals, and –at least for now– we can all stop worrying about the Twins stumbling out of the blocks the way they did in 2006.

  • The Weekend

    galew.JPG
    the barn at gale woods farm …

    There’s a lot of yummy stuff happening this weekend.

    It’s the weekend of our Restaurant Week, so if you’re going to go out, why not choose a place that benefits our cities? Seriously, there are so many great choices: Cafe Twenty-Eight, The Sample Room, the new Spill the Wine, and Luci Ancora are all cool date locations.

    Tonight I can’t hit RW because it is my friend Kevin’s 40th birthday and we’re doing it up sexy at the Graves. Of course I’m planning to sneak away from the soiree to check out some snacks at Cosmos, which I loved loved loved under Mr. Daugherty, but have yet to fully experience under Mr. Trojhan. I’ll report back next week on that one.

    Saturday is busy. I’m getting to the Seward Co-op early to check out their annual CSA fair. Surely it will be packed, which is a beautiful thing. This year they’re bringing in some meat producers as well, so I’m seriously going to check out a bit of organic beef and meadow-raised pork. I’m a total kid with my CSA pick-up, it’s like a Happy FoodDay present just for me.

    After that, I’m headed out to Gale Woods Farm to teach my kids how to lick a tree. It’s a working educational farm, so I’m hoping we can see some baby cows or pigs. This Saturday they are focusing on Earth Day, so we might plant some seeds, run through a scavenger hunt, or just sit and appreciate the ever-greening grass.

    For the evening activities, we’re cooking for twenty. I really wanted to do a lobster and clam bake, but have you seen the price of lobster lately? And then there’s the whole digging a pit in my yard thing, for which I’m gung-ho, but apparently no one else is. I’ve done it stove-top before, but meh. But I think I can build a fire in the fire pit and maybe come up with a spit-roasting contraption. I’ll let you know how this one turns out…

    Sunday is Earth Day. My 14 year-old son and I will probably go Geocaching. Yes, because we are huge dorks. But along the way, we pick up trash, re-fuel at local coffee shops, and munch on a kicked-up version of trail mix (+ wasabi peas, dark chocolate chips…). A good day on the planet.

  • These Fragments I Have Shored Against My Ruin

    herdonthemove.jpgforsaken-2.jpg

    The King deputized for the Queen at many sacred functions, dressed in her robes, wore false breasts, borrowed her lunar axe as a symbol of power, and even took over from her the magical act of rain-making. His ritual death varied greatly in circumstance; he might be torn in pieces by wild women, transfixed with a sting-ray spear, felled with an axe, pricked in the heel by a poisoned arrow, flung over a cliff, burned to death on a pyre, drowned in a pool, or killed in a pre-arranged chariot crash. But die he must. A new stage was reached when animals came to be substituted for boys at the sacrificial altar…


    –Robert Graves, The Greek Myths: 1

    In man, unlike the apes, the impulse to use some sort of language is overwhelming.

    –Norbert Wiener, The Human Use of Human Beings

    This vision of someone, sitting alone in a room somewhere two hundred years ago, something of me moving in his blood, something maybe in the way he squints and puzzles, in the way his mind changes directions, the way words fall from his lips almost unbidden, the way they fly from his fingers like shavings he is whittling from the truth.

    A relative, some pause on the long, crooked road leading to this moment, this old aching confusion and these persistent, nagging questions, this huge desire.

    You, world, I imagine you sleeping and wish you sweet dreams, wish you love, wish you every wish of your darling heart. May you never find yourself leaning on a windowsill at four a.m., somewhere in the bleary midst of a stretch of sleepless nights you’ve completely lost track of, staring out into the dark streets of your neighborhood and trying to will something to move, if only to prove to yourself that you’re not dreaming.

    Can I just tell you how much I hate it when someone says, “On the one hand”? It just means the other hand is coming, and I cannot balance the contents of two hands in my head at one time. How much better when someone –even some old pervert trying to ingratiate himself by offering sweets– offers me the choice of one hand or the other.

    This guy in the elevator today, he’s talking into his cell phone, and his face suddenly gets bright red and he erupts in a spasm of almost alarming laughter. “God damn!” he says to the person he’s talking to. “What did I tell you? Show me a man’s weakness and I’ll break him down like a goddamn card table!”

    At a dusty roadside stop somewhere in Montana, where there was a statue of the Virgin Mary and vases full of bleached, plastic flowers, an old man, who was leaning against the front of a pickup truck and having a smoke, pointed with his cigarette towards the range that ran all the way down the valley and addressed one sentence to me: “A choir’s rumored to be lost in them mountains.”

    Remove one thing, let one thing go missing, and life can become a mighty painful and confusing business in a hurry. We aren’t simple, but we’re full of holes, and this world is full of things that do nothing but make those holes bigger and bigger by the day.

    “It makes me feel like messin’ up.” (Lowman Pauling)

    Books take me away and break my heart in a way different from the rest of the world. It’s the most beautiful, most wrenching sort of heartache: longing.

    Those sad dishes have been sitting there in the sink for months now. Maybe I’ll never get around to washing them.

    Anonymous: wanting a name, or so Samuel Johnson decided. And is that ever beautiful.

    I did receive my telegram, in fact, and it was a lovely thing. I’ll remember it to the end of my days.

    I intend something, dammit.

    Why the hell did I put that calculator in the refrigerator?

    What happened to that old woman who lived in my basement and made me such elegant and astonishing shoes? Gone, like so much else, without a trace.

    The middle of the night, and morning still a long ways off.

    It’s later than I think, I think.

    Shit, it hurts. It still hurts. It hurts all over.

    forsaken-1.jpgherdonthemove-2.jpg

  • From the Erratic to the Erotic

    FOOD AND FUN
    We’re in This Together, You and Me

    richardsimmons.jpgHere’s a secret for you — Galactic Pizza is having another Richard Simmons Night. That’s right, another one; apparently this is an annual event. You have to give this place credit. They lack no imagination. Order a pizza and Captain Awesome will be there in a jiffy in his electric Galactic wack-mobile. (Employees get to pick their own superheros when they start.) Well, now they’re giving it up to exercise guru/joker Richard Simmons. Dress like Richard Simons, act like Richard Simons, squeal like Richard Simons — or one of his “fatties” — and you’ll get half off your second pizza, second round, or second anything. Me, I’m going to pay full price and get some free entertainment. The employees all have to dress like him, too.

    Friday, Galactic Pizza, 2917 Lyndale Ave S, Minneapolis; 612-824-9100.

    MUSIC by Britt Robson
    Modest Mouse

    modest mouse 2.jpgThe mainstreaming of Modest Mouse has predictably put many undies in a bunch among the band’s original die-hards. Aside from an occasional blast of belligerence and a meandering sonic idyll or two, the sextet’s new We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank furthers the commercial maturity of their improbable hit, “Float On.” And it cements a spot for frontman Isaac Brock (alongside the Talking Heads’ David Byrne and Pavement’s Stephen Malkmus) in the pantheon of “indie-rock” tunesmiths who like their clever, quirky, sardonic lyrics served up with angular, jangly, soft-elbowed grooves. The big splash of ex-Smiths guitarist Johnny Marr joining the band wasn’t overwhelmingly apparent on the disc, but one imagines his arching riffs will protrude a little more noticeably onstage.

    Friday and Saturday at 7:30 p.m., Orpheum Theater, 910 Hennepin Ave; 651-989-5151; $32.

    Listen to Modest Mouse.

    If you dare to step outside the metro area for the night, there’s more good music to see in every direction: The BoDeans in Mankato on Friday; Cake at Winona State on Friday, and at Concordia College on Saturday; and Greg Brown in Rochester on Saturday night. Hell, I’d even drive to Iowa to see him.

    DANCE
    Progressive Evolution

    ShowPicture.jpgBut the must-see event this weekend isn’t just about music, it’s about dance. This weekend, the Minnesota Dance Theatre and Springboard come together to present Playin’ At The Pantages. Dance Theater member Dario Mejia — who I’ve had the pleasure of seeing grow up a bit over the past fifteen years — is making his choreographic debut with Soil, spinning from Ravel and Whitacre to Golillaz and Sia. Then watch as the Springboard dancers bring us the world premiere of Strange Attractors, composed by Shirley Mier and choreographed by Penelope Freeh (James Sewell Ballet) and Wynn Fricke (MDT Choreographer-in-Residence). That’s all for the premieres, but there are several other beautiful pieces to be performed, even an excerpt from George Balanchine’s Seranade.

    Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., Sunday at 2 p.m., Pantages Theatre, 710 Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis; 612-339-7007; $32.

    THEATER AND PERFORMANCE
    She Did It All for Love, Amen!

    maidenpic.jpgTonight is the opening night of Frontier Theatre’s production os Nicky Silver’s The Maiden’s Prayer at the Lowry Lab Theater. It’s a love story story with all the traditional fixings — obsession, romance, betrayal, tragedy. “The Maiden’s Prayer examines the delicate balance of loving someone and needing someone. Falling in love with the idea of someone can be tricky, and as these characters unpack their emotional baggage, their desperate romantic fixations breed betrayal, tragedy, and a little accidental prostitution.”

    7:30 p.m., Lowry Lab Theater, The Lowry Building, 360 St. Peter Street, St. Paul; 612 669-9306; $15.

    FOOD AND SHOPPING
    Secure Your Produce and Secure the Farm

    produce8.jpgAnybody know what Community Supported Agriculture is? Take the Farmer’s Market one step further and set up a direct partnership between the farm and the consumer. You simply subscribe to a share of the harvest. Your investment covers the farm’s operating costs, and your produce is delivered to one of various drop-off points each week. Find out more this Saturday at the sixth annual Seward Co-op Community Supported Agriculture Fair.

    Saturday from 11 a.m. – 3 p.m., Seward Co-op, 2111 East Franklin Ave, Minneapolis; 612-338-2465.

    READING
    A Touch of the Erotica

    “To be thrilled at the touch of leather, aroused by the sound of harsh words, or satisfied by the security of rigid bondage is the mark of a lover. To be thrilled at the opportunity to provide useful service, aroused by a pleased nod, and satisfied by the proverbial job well done, is the mark of a slave. It may sound severe. Almost anti-erotic. Until you see two people, owner and owned, existing in a complementary relationship where each suits the other like balances on a delicate scale.” — That’s an excerpt from Laura Antoniou’s Marketplace series. Now, you decide whether or not you’re up for it. Do you really want to be the one to say no?

    Saturday at 7 p.m., DreamHaven Books, 912 West Lake St, Minneapolis; 612-823-6161.

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