My Fifth Wife's Life

I received an e-mail that this Ron guy insisted I publish along with a picture of his scarcely-aged trophy (above). This has not been spell-checked and is re-produced unmolested (bad choice of word?)

I am writing this on behalf of my wife and son to your
snarky blogger named Bert. My name is Ron Spellman and I own more cars than your
pissant perpetrater of automotive polemic ever has. My wife currently drives a
Veyron for her grocery getter, you little bastard, as I want my foie gras to remain
appropriately firm and chilled from the first bite to the last. (Bellagio* does take-out in Telluride.) In fact, I am so rich that I hire unpaid interns from Bennigton College (the most expensive liberal arts
school in the country—which would be in Vermont) to respond to my
e-mail and write my blog. I can hardly fathom why I stoop to address the wanten
stupidity that emanates from The Rake, but my wife has insisted. In fact, she
wants you all to know that she does know the difference between an Audi and an
Enzo. It seems however that we had to wait too long for the latter so she
purchased the Audi to tide e.e.clinton over till the 650 HP Enzo in racing red
arrived in Benni, I am mean Boston. Our son is impatient. What’s wrong with
that? It’s not like he spends all his time on a blog during school or some stupid
sh, I am mean stuff, like that.

(*Bellagio is so great. I don’t care that Wynn has the Ferrari dealership in Vegas even though he makes makes people pay for entrance. That’s really cool but not not as cool or class as Bellagio.)