If Renee Richards were a car…

Sometimes a woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do. Particularly if that woman entered this world as a man. In the late 70s a certain doctor who was a nationally ranked tennis player changed his sex and continued to compete–as a woman. This raised all kinds of issues related to fair play.

I am not sure what Dr. Renee Richards is doing today or even what that particularly attractive dark haired babe in Pierce Brosnan’s second Bond flick is up to. I am also uncertain to this day whether Renee should have kept playing tennis.

Of this, however, I am certain. If a car guy feels the need to drive the following “Chick Cars,” a sex change operation may be in order. The University of Minnesota offers the whole package for about 50k. That’s a bargain compare to what you might throw at your wheels over a lifetime.

A “chick car” is any car that is self-consciously “cute,” generally underpowered and underwhelming. Some cars are undeserving of this moniker–such as the Mini Cooper, but the vast majority do nothing to shake it off–like the Volkswagen Beetle, the Honda Del Sol (the poster child) and on certain occasions the BMW 325 (see previous post). This does include the Mazda Miata just yet (thanks to Mazdaspeed.)

There will always be a place for “chick cars” in the market–as there will always be a place for Dental Hygienists (we are beginning to see more cars in Britain, for example) Floral Designers and Flight Attendants. Such professionals have a right to stylish transportation as just like the rest of us (i.e. any flight attendant could easily teach your average bloated corporation more about the “Customer Experience” than the overpaid AMG-Benz driving consultants such companies hire.)

If you are a dental hygienist, floral designer or flight attendant, I am not suggesting you change your sex. I am simply suggesting that you avoid these cars unless you are deeply, deeply in touch with your feminine side.

So unless I have irretrievably offended you, I suggest you check back here frequently for all kinds of great alternatives to these sissy boxes. If I had more time, I’d get to that list but as it happens I am sitting right now at Hertz who screwed up my car request. You see I requested a Subaru Wagon and they’ve put me in a Dodge Magnum.

Tennis anyone?