Lost Weekend

Things would seem to be trending downward at the moment, wouldn’t you say?

The Twins have scored a total of 12 runs in their last five games, and managed just five in the weekend series with Boston. Their best hitter is headed for the disabled list –he’s already there, actually. The reigning MVP is batting .150 (and slugging .225) with runners in scoring position. Sidney Ponson is still in the starting rotation, and still finding a way to allow almost two base runners every inning.

Sure, Torii Hunter has a 21-game hitting streak, and has been tearing it up, but what difference has that made? I’ll tell you: None. Or basically none. The team has lost two straight series, and five of its last seven games. The schedule is increasingly inhospitable, and if things don’t get turned around in a hurry the Twins could find themselves looking at a double-digit deficit in the Central by the end of May.

It’s all very discouraging right now, but last year demonstrated that things can indeed turn around in a hurry. Of course most organizations would be lucky to have a season like that every twenty years, but what the hell.

If you’re not pissed about the whole Roger Clemens charade, something’s seriously wrong with you. The handling of that announcement today was straight out of the Vince McMahon playbook. I guess the only real surprise was that Clemens didn’t emerge from Monument Park in a cloud of smoke during the seventh-inning stretch. Or, you know, they could have had the Rocket parachute into the ballpark and land on the pitcher’s mound.

But, no, truly, the way the Yankees did handle it was actually worse. It was too hokey and sickening to even be entertaining. The man is forty-five years old, and New York is going to pay him $20 million to pitch four months of the season. The whole thing is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

It’s so fucking wrong.

Blow hamstring, blow.

That’s all I have to say about that.


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