Super Crap

Here’s what some people don’t understand: you can be a food freak without being a food snob. If ever there was a testament to that, it would be the feast of SuperBowl Sunday.

The issue isn’t the guacamole, it’s the cachet of the guacamole. Hot-wing away, my friend, but consider the sauce. You won’t find fois and foam at my house on Sunday, but you will find seasoned onion strings and home-made potato chips. But that’s just because I’m bored by the game so I focus on the food, shocker.

Here’s a hit-list, if you’re so inclined:

Bon Appetit did shout from on-high: French fries are the IT-snack. Make sure you have a kick-ass hood system or open a lot of windows if you plan to fry. If not, you could always go for the oven-roasted verstion.

Legend has it that Hot-Wings were invented in Buffalo, NY at the Anchor Bar. To me, it’s all about the sauce: you could slather up a hunk of wood and I’d happily chow down if the sauce were hot and tight enough. My recipe is a lot like this one, but I use Cholula and add Sriracha. It’s all about your personal hotness.

As for guacamole, I’m a minimalist. Coarsely mash a bunch of avocado, add chopped onions, add chopped cilantro, sprinkle with dried chilies, add a squeeze of lime juice and salt and pepper at will. No tomatoes, no fresh jalapenos (they take away from the sweet, creaminess and you lose the avocado).

Seriously, home-made chips are so easy, and then you can control the flavoring. You’ll actually taste more than just salt! Malt vinegar is a favorite, toss them with the hot sauce when they come out of the oven, throw some blue cheese on top when they’re almost done. And then dip, dip or dip.

One of the easiest and biggest crowd pleasers is almost criminally simple. Wrap a block of havarti in puff pastry, entirely enclosing it like a giant ravioli. Throw it in a 400 degree oven for about 20 minutes or until it becomes golden brown and puffy. Take it out and drizzle it with Ames Farm honey. Cut in and prepare for an oozing mess of yumminess.

Onion strings are uber-addictive. I season the flour with a lot of garlic powder and dried tarragon or just Zatar seasoning.