Grand Theft Autopilot

Here’s the problem with Grand Theft Auto (and a solution).

Its not that Grand Theft Auto is stealing minds. The problem is that the program allows you to experience fear in an artificial context. I have found that fear is much more exhilarating and useful when it is real. I took up mountaineering, for example, to experience the imminent fear of disaster. (In addition to my job.)

The real issue with ultra-violent, pornographic video games is sensual isolation. Far better to feel the imminent threat of lightning on a mountain-top (which will kill you) than on a monitor. As any pilot will tell you, flight simulators just can’t beat flying.

Not to overuse the metaphor, but there is nothing uplifting about Grand Theft Auto. It can’t even lift your blood pressure as high as a real fight with the opponent of your choosing. Which is why I suggest the following adrenaline-upgrade during purchase.

Bring back Shinders and stock all the copies of GTA IV in the "back room." This way healthy underage young people and really sick older ones can experience the dread of being caught in a spot they really don’t want to be.