And you thought your night at Orchestra Hall would be tame.

A couple weeks back at a Minnesota Orchestra concert, when the band was playing 1812 Overture, some Brahms, and a Cello Concerto by Antal Dorai, word has it that a completely sloshed woman showed up and eventually had to be hauled out–and right in the middle of that Dorati concerto! According to an anonymous source inside the orchestra: “Most of us assumed she was sick and had collapsed or something, but according to our backstage crew, she had a good-sized bottle of booze in her purse which she was slugging from during the show, and had fallen asleep during the pause between pieces. She woke up with the applause that welcomed the [Dorati] soloist, and began laughing hysterically, even after the rest of the hall went silent. We started the piece, but she kept popping in with more laughter every few seconds, and eventually, ushers had to forcibly escort her out (she didn’t want to leave.) Osmo, with his back to the scene, knew something was up, but couldn’t turn to look. The soloist, Raphael Wallfisch, appeared to be watching the whole scene intently as he played.”

Now that’s an example of poor concert hall etiquette! This is not to be interpreted as my invitation to the booze hounds of the world to go see the orchestra. I mean, I guess that’d be all right if you were the quiet, sleepy sort of drunk and all. But the line’s drawn where others’ concert experiences start to fizzle. Tsk-tsk. This has all been a roundabout way to plug the orchestra’s big concert this weekend, a Mozart and Schubert bill.