Author: Brad Zellar

  • Put That In Your Pipe And Smoke It

    The Twins have scored ten runs in their last six games, and 34 in their last fourteen, dating back to July 23 in Toronto –I’ll do the math for you: that’s an average of 2.4 runs a game. This nonsense, this incomprehensible futility, after scoring 34 runs in two games versus Chicago on July 6.…

  • Hogwash: Divert Yourself With This Business, Why Don't You?

    This’ll be everywhere in the morning, but in the meantime I can only say that after returning from the Dome tonight I had the odd sensation that I had had an experience similar to this pathetic fellow’s. Or at the very least that I’m going to need some similar procedure very soon. Read the story,…

  • Resurrected, Without Really Trying: Kings Of The Deadball Era

    What the hell happened to the toughest division in baseball? In trading Luis Castillo and otherwise standing pat, Terry Ryan gave every indication that the Twins were ready to throw in the towel on the 2007 season, and the Tigers and Indians have responded by rolling over and playing dead. And now a team that…

  • The Latest Installment Of The Good News-Bad News Bears

    If this shit keeps up I’m going to initiate a class action lawsuit against the Twins on behalf of all the whiplash victims in Twins Territory. I go away for a week on the heels of a nice little rebound series against the Angels (the Twins had won the first two games when I hit…

  • The Sheep Census

    These days you can’t turn on a television without encountering an advertisement for some pharmaceutical sleep aid, and sleep centers have sprung up all over the country. Yet for experts like Dr. Mark Mahowald, that explosion of treatment options—and the ceaseless wave of sleep-deprived patients seeking them—is both a blessing and a curse. That’s because…

  • Rupert Thomson, Death of a Murderer

    For my money Rupert Thomson is one of the most adventurous and consistently dazzling writers working today. He’s also criminally underrated (and largely unknown) in the United States. His 1996 novel, The Insult, featured one of the great untrustworthy narrators in recent memory: a man, blinded by a bullet to the head, who suffers from…