Brad Zellar Look, there’s not a bigger Tom Brunansky fan in all of Twins Territory, but this team’s in trouble and in dire need of some pop in the middle infield. So, as much as it pains me to say this, I think it might be time for Andy MacPhail to pull the trigger on that long-rumored … Read more
Early on the afternoon of the Northern League exhibition season opener, Midway Stadium is bustling with activity. The Rolling Stones are blasting from the public address speakers, and players are already stretching and running in the outfield grass. Underneath the grandstand, in the cramped bunker that serves as the offices of the St. Paul Saints, … Read more
Okay, honest to God, that’s just about enough of this nonsense. I believe we’ve reached the point where the bump in the road has officially turned into a rut, and it’s damn hard to explain what’s happening to this team right now. This is one of those times where you could point your finger in … Read more
This guy comes in and says to me, “What’s your goal here? What’s the big idea?” He was a huge man, seriously overweight and clearly laboring to balance there before me at the counter. Moist, wheezing, one of these characters who’s always swiping at his forehead with a handkerchief, and something of a throwback, I … Read more
–Illustration by James Dankert Sunday night –the worst handful of hours in the week– finds me a complete wreck, hoarse, hungover, and ruined by a weekend of stale air and even worse baseball. It doesn’t help matters that my attic apartment is so damn hot that I’ve spent the entire evening sprawled on the floor … Read more
–Senior Citizen Center. Livingston, Montana Ella was on the front porch, blowing into an empty bottle with a straw, shivering a fly that was trapped there at the bottom. The fly was woozy and slick with cola, and was rolling and tumbling in the little bottle hurricane that Ella was producing with her straw. The … Read more
A few things: That ugly business in the first inning has happened way too many times now to be dismissed as a mere fluke, but how the hell do you explain it? Beats the shit out of me. You know how many times the Twins have scored four or fewer runs now this year? I … Read more
It’s really that simple. One guy should not ever have the opportunity to hit three home runs off one pitcher in the same game. It’s just wrong, and stupid, particularly in a close game. I don’t care who the hitter is, or who’s on the mound. And never mind that Radke was allowed to hit … Read more
I’m not kidding you, for about twenty seconds I thought I was looking at a giant snail, and I mean a really giant snail, just the soft, slimy part without the shell, maybe six feet tall and walking upright –or creeping– like a man. I saw the thing come slowly through the hedgerow at the … Read more
–Senior Citizen Center. Livingston, Montana The other night I dreamt I was in a boat floating in thick fog, talking to God. Look, He says to me, I’m just hoping to catch a few fish. I didn’t come down here to listen to you bitch. I wouldn’t think you’d need to fish, I said. … Read more