“Do you think you can make an all-star wrestler out of me?” I asked Sheriff and Shifty at Midwest Pro Wrestling in Maple Grove. They looked me over—I’m 5’ 9” and weigh only 155 pounds—and assured me, “Sure, just give us enough time. Size doesn’t matter anymore.” In fact, Terry Klinger (stage name “Sheriff”) is … Read more
When Joel and Ethan Coen made Fargo and gave the world a generous serving of the rounded, marbles-in-the-mouth outstate Minnesota accent, it seemed a little over the top. But we all knew it was out there. Just 20 minutes of any WCCO-AM call-in show will prove it. Even those of us in the metro have … Read more
Diplomacy, to judge by recent efforts of our not-so-diplomatic commander in chief, is not an easy job. It requires holding your tongue and curbing your temper. First and foremost, however, it requires landing the job, which has always been tough and is just getting tougher. Despite current troubles, or perhaps because of them, interest in … Read more
A few weeks ago, we were blessed by a yearly event that has come to symbolize all that’s good and noble about the human spirit. United Health Group CEO William McGuire received his annual stock option grant. On Valentine’s Day, Minnesota’s best-paid executive notified the SEC that he has received an option for 650,000 shares … Read more
Except for a few listing gravestones, you could easily mistake the vacant lot for a small park or the exceptionally large backyard of one of the lucky homeowners bordering it. A bus stop and a row of gnarled oaks describes one edge near the street. Two green beer bottles stand attention at a granite monument. … Read more
The military has gotten very good at using the media for its own purposes. I should know—I taught them how to do it. As a public affairs officer in the Marine Corps, I taught military-media relations to commanders and staff officers. In other words, it was my job to teach Marines how to work with … Read more
It would seem a 39-year-old man playing at Legoland would stand out. But it’s obvious that Carl belongs; no one gives him a second glance. He’s absorbed in his task, concentrating on building the perfect Lego locomotive. It takes some time, but the finished train engine is a piece of work, heavily reinforced to withstand … Read more
It was the commercials that first made me suspicious. My local cable conglomerate began running ads intended to remind me of two things: Satellite TV is crap, and I am extremely happy with my cable service. The only thing missing from the commercials was someone swinging a pocket watch in front of my eyes, exhorting … Read more
When I heard about EMI’s deluxe re-issue of Ice Cube’s first four albums, I was struck with a strange sense of nostalgia for both the albums and the era they represent. Of course, nostalgia is kind of a quaint emotion to feel for ultra-violent, incendiary, unabashedly angry albums that viciously attack Jews, white men, women, … Read more
What a funny quirk of verbiage that a bum car is called a “lemon.” There’s even a “Lemon Law” to protect us from people selling used vehicles with hidden flaws. This assumes the worst about people and, I think, slanders lemons. Calling a car a lemon should be a great compliment, akin to linking its … Read more