Category: Article

  • The Voyage of the Heath Ledger

    On June 17, 2006, we quietly paddled the Heath Ledger across the Canadian border. We hadn’t exactly planned to sneak into Canada. Joe and I were on a mission—to reach Hudson Bay by canoe, still hundreds of miles to the northeast—and as we approached the border we realized that interactions with government officials might endanger that mission. For one thing, we were unsure whether the guards would let Joe, with his extensive juvenile record, into the country. We also carried a 12-gauge shotgun (for protection against the polar bears we expected to meet downriver), which authorities in firearms-phobic Canada would seize if declared. So we chose the path of least resistance across the frontier, paddling through swirling waters into shimmering twilight.

    We could hear the distant rumblings of semis, and between silhouettes of weeping willows, we saw the glow from floodlights at the Pembina/Emerson border post a mile beyond the muddy banks. But on the Red River there was no customs station, no sign of welcome to “Friendly Manitoba.” The border here was marked only by a black trestle of crisscrossed girders without so much as a single red maple leaf. As we slipped under the railroad span, floating illegally into the country, we were pushed along by a welcome rush of current, the first significant natural flow we’d seen since the trip began on June 4, four hundred river miles south at Wahpeton, North Dakota—the headwaters of the Red.

    Already we had been interrogated by officials from five different law enforcement agencies in the U.S. They seemed to think we were either terrorists, immigrant smugglers, or perverted lovers: a big sick white guy with a lip ring and his skinny younger Puerto Rican/Lakota boy-toy acting out a canoe version of Brokeback Mountain. The movie had come out a few months earlier and now it seemed that two men couldn’t go camping together without the assumption that they were gay. In response, we named the canoe after one of the film’s stars.

    They all asked the same questions:
    How do you two know each other?
    Where are you going?
    How long do you expect that to take?
    How did you get time off for such a long trip?
    How will you know where you’re going?
    What are you going to do for food?
    Why are you doing this?

    I insisted on taking charge of these conversations after watching Joe lose his cool at the sight of uniformed authority figures. He would start running at the mouth, each jittery falsetto utterance sounding more sketchy and full-of-shit than the last.

    My responses were cautiously worded to prevent the cop, sheriff, ICE official, game warden, or forest ranger from opening new lines of inquiry. If they had hauled us in for questioning they might have connected Joe to the recent Frogtown incident.

    So I always told them the truth, albeit a painstakingly tailored version. Nevertheless, the cop, sheriff, ICE official, forest ranger, or game warden would nod suspiciously at what must have sounded, to their post-9/11 ears, like a hastily manufactured cover story: I was Joe’s mentor. We had met five years earlier at New Voices, a Minneapolis-based journalism program for American Indian youth. We expected our trip on the Red, Nelson, Echimamish and Hayes Rivers to take roughly two months. Joe’s employer, Pawn America, had granted him a leave of absence for the summer. I was a teacher, so I got summers off. We were navigating with topographical maps, compasses, and a Global Positioning System receiver; for sustenance we had freeze-dried camping food and the occasional gas station or restaurant meal.

    I was careful not to mention that this trip was Joe’s way of lying low for the summer. My nineteen-year-old paddling partner had recently been mixed up in a street incident involving a sawed-off shotgun and a crack dealer named Sonic. Luckily, no one was hurt. But word in Frogtown was that Sonic was seeking swift retribution. Joe left with me days after the episode without telling anyone where he was going—not his older brother D, his closest friend and confidant, not even his mother.

    Nor did I volunteer the intimate details of my life: I was a single father of four, an unemployed writer with no certain job prospects to return to, and no goal in life except to make it to Hudson Bay with Joe or die trying. I had embarked on this journey to try to stave off a nervous breakdown, having spent much of the previous six months alternating between dizzying waves of anxiety and fits of uncontrolled sobbing, symptoms of a depression resulting from a series of deaths and personal losses that began with my divorce in 2003.

    Each time the police ran our names for warrants, there was an increasing fear that the law had caught up with Joe, and that this trip would end for us not at the sea, but in the penitentiary. I don’t know if it was the fact that we were an unusual pair of travelers heading toward an international border in an age of terrorism hysteria; or perhaps it stemmed from the kind of extralegal scrutiny many dark-skinned people in America endure every day. Either way, it seemed our trip was being viewed by government officials as a criminal act. In Grand Forks, we were issued a trespass warning after we spent the night camped atop a flood dike. In the tiny Red River Valley town of Climax, Minnesota, we stopped one night for cheese curds and beer at the Corner Bar and were questioned by a patrolman who said he had received “reports of two men with backpacks.” Thirty miles north of Drayton, North Dakota, a pair of game wardens in a speedboat approached cautiously after scrutinizing us through binoculars; they then grilled us at length about fishing regulations, even though we weren’t fishing.

    The trickiest part of these interrogations was inventing answers the authorities would believe in response to that last question: Why? They demanded to know what was motivating this odd couple to travel over water and land from the heart of the Great Plains to the far edge of the continent, an endeavor that, judging from their uniformly dubious expressions, no sane person would undertake without sinister motive.

    There was no innocent-sounding answer, so I again went with a clipped rendition of the truth. This trip was about physical and spiritual renewal. That’s what I told them: physical and spiritual renewal.

    Joe, on the other hand, would puff out his chest and bluster righteously, Vacation! The word sounded suspect coming out of his mouth—anyone familiar with the Red River knows it is one of the most hellacious, unforgiving American waterways to paddle—but it, too, was partially true. Joe would often say life on the river, however difficult, was a cakewalk compared with his day-to-day in the city. The torture of paddling ten or twelve hours a day to make thirty or forty miles, eating and sleeping on riverbanks that were essentially mud pits, baking under the withering sun, and freezing through frequent cloudbursts, was, to us both, a welcome respite from the heartache and stress that had come to dominate our lives in St. Paul. There was an aspect of our days on the river that was similar to self-mutilation; the physical pain relieved our suffering hearts.

    Crossing the border without incident, Joe expressed relief by mocking me for having intended to report to customs. It had been his idea from the start to steal across the border under cover of night. “Fuck them border bitches,” he laughed. “Them bitches can’t touch us out here.”

    I realized how absurd some of my assumptions about the river had been. Even though we had seen a total of only five other boats in the past fourteen days, I half-expected to find a fully functioning customs station on this all-but-abandoned river. But since I was relying for guidance on Canoeing with the Cree, a book chronicling a 1925 expedition from Fort Snelling to Hudson Bay, I was bound to be wrong once in a while.

  • Pinebox Purgatory

    John Parizek was standing on a stage in the middle of the Mall of America’s rotunda, waving some sort of a racing flag and speaking into a microphone. Even though he was less than twenty-five yards away, nothing Parizek said was intelligible. Granted, the Malliest Mall of Them All is a noisy proposition on most Saturday afternoons, but with the place hosting the annual Boy Scouts of America Northern Star Council Pinewood Derby championships, the decibel level was skull rattling.
    Nearby, the mall’s amusement park was churning and the rotunda stage was surrounded by hundreds of chattering, uniformed Cub Scouts, their assorted parents, siblings, and random curious passersby.

    “This is boring,” a boy complained to an older man who was seated next to him in the back row.

    “Shut up, George,” the man said. “Can I just tell you how tired I am of being your grandpa?”

    If the squirrelly behavior of many of the kids in attendance (not to mention the churlishness of the grandfather) was any kind of a barometer, it’s possible George had a point.

    The Pinewood Derby has been a hallowed Scouting tradition since 1953, when the first race was held in Manhattan Beach, California; the races remain an annual rite of passage for Scouts and their fathers (or, increasingly, mothers); but, people-watching aside, it’s not much as far as spectator sports go, particularly for restless youngsters with the temptations of the mall beckoning on all sides.

    For most of the participants, the real action takes places in the weeks and months leading up to the championship. That is when the Scouts, working from the same uniform kit (a block of pine wood, four plastic discs, and four nails), attempt to transform those raw materials into “the fastest gravity-propelled miniature ground vehicle.” Preparation begins early for the pack-level races and district championships that serve as qualifiers for the main event at MOA. The Northern Star Council—one of the largest in the country—encompasses the Twin Cities, a broad swath across the central part of the state, and four counties in western Wisconsin. Thirty-thousand Scouts and their carefully crafted, often elaborately painted and decorated cars started the year in the running, a number that had been whittled down to 187 by the time the championships rolled around.

    The official rules are remarkably specific, and Derby officials are notorious for enforcing strict compliance, often in the face of fierce scrutiny and protestations from parents: Cars cannot exceed five ounces (race scales will flag violations up to one-hundredth of an ounce); only officially approved wheels and axles are allowed; wheels may not be “rounded, pointed, concaved, shaved, or otherwise modified.” Scouts must be present and in uniform for their cars to compete, and are required to build a new car each year.

    Speeds can vary a great deal from race to race, but Parizek, working with race director Jim Smeby (who owns the track and timing equipment and participates in more than fifty Pinewood Derbies per year), works hard to ensure uniform racing conditions. And Parizek personally inspects and weighs every car before the championships. “I get real picky when it comes to weights and wheels,” he said. “A lot of the parents don’t like it, but if they’re over by even a fraction of an ounce the weight has to come off or they don’t run. When I get complaints I always tell people to give me their names and I’ll happily put them on the committee for next year.”

    Parizek, who also serves as master of ceremonies at the championships, is an instructor for the local plumbers’ union, and for the last eleven years he has been the chair of the Northern Star Council’s annual Derby.

    Smeby’s track, sloping at slightly more than forty-five degrees (as mandated by official rules), features three lanes. Races consist of three heats, with each entry getting an opportunity to run in all three lanes; the combined scores determine the winner. Scouts don’t actually participate in the races other than as observers; their cars are “impounded” after weigh-in and are raced in rapid and efficient fashion by Smeby and a handful of volunteers. Parizek enters the times in a computer, often while surrounded by fathers transcribing the information into pocket notebooks. Some of these characters were visibly nervous, and one man spent a good deal of time tapping numbers into a calculator.

    Despite intense competition, apparent disparities in lane speeds, and times that plunged with each heat, a sleek, thin, bright orange car emblazoned with Firebird decals—the creation of Adam Sicora, a fifth-grader at St. Paul’s Nokomis Montessori and a seasoned Derby veteran—was the wire-to-wire leader at this year’s championships. After running a 6.66 in the first heat, when the majority of the other cars were running into the sevens and even eights, Adam followed up with another 6.66 in lane two, and 6.67 in lane three. On the heels of a third-place finish in 2006 (his brother Matt took home the second-place trophy, and finished fifth this year), Adam breezed to victory in this year’s championship.

    “We’ve actually won a bunch of trophies in the last few years,” he said. “This year Matt finished third at district, and I was fourth, which shows that I definitely fine-tuned my car between races. You have to keep trying to get better. Sometimes, though, you can tinker with something that you think is going to make you faster but it messes up the aerodynamics and you get worse. Our friend who won the district came in 188th at the Mall of America.”

    This was Adam’s last championship—his Derby eligibility expires next year when he’ll enter the sixth grade, but he, his brother, and their father, Chris, have spent a lot of time zeroing in on the qualities that make for a Pinewood Derby champion.

    “We’ve looked at websites that have tips,” Adam said, “and Matt and I did a science project on pinewood cars for school, and learned a lot about things like inertia, aerodynamics, and potential energy. Even if you think you have a really fast car, though, you can usually count on something messing up. I had a good car, but I was just lucky that nothing went wrong this year.”

  • Café Bonxai

    Business wasn’t great at the little budget steak house in the St. Paul Midway, so the Hang family, Hmong refugees from Laos, decided to try something different. They brought in cousin Christian Hang, a recent culinary-school graduate, as chef; remodeled the dining room with a tasteful black and orange décor; and added Asian fusion to the menu. You can still get an $18.99 T-bone or a $10.99 sirloin, but the dinner menu at the Café, formerly a Best Steak House, now includes seared yellowfin tuna salad with mango salsa; red or green coconut curry; and poached red snapper with basil, mint, lemongrass, and shallots—plus a few Italian dishes such as shrimp scampi and fettucine alfredo. The lunch menu is even more eclectic, with offerings including a fajita wrap and a BLT. Preparation and presentation are first-rate; wine and beer expected soon. Most entrées run $9-$14. 1613 University Ave. W., St. Paul; 651-644-1444.

  • Flower Cooking

    I passed up these farmer’s market jewels again and again, even though they were right there under my eyes the whole time. Not one for plate decoration, I figured the papery squash blossom to be a useless bit of frill, destined to sit prettily and quietly beside some pallid piece of fish. Talk about misjudgment.

    That all changed when I experienced them cooked into a mild risotto: Squash blossoms are a gardener’s delight and market hunter’s treasure. These delicate flowers, which are naturally soft and a bit floppy, grow in a delicate array of yellows and oranges, and are edible raw or cooked. They even offer nutrients: vitamins A and C along with calcium and iron. Female blossoms form directly on the end of the growing squash, while the male blossoms, which don’t actually produce anything, stand on a long stem; both eat equally well.

    Carrying a unique flavor that slightly hints of the accompanying squash, the blossoms can be used in many dishes. Mexican cuisine has long employed them in rich soups or as a layer in quesadillas. New and tasty ways to use the slight beauties call for their subtle but distinct presence in frittatas, biscuits, and salads, all becoming popular in summer. One of the best ways to eat them is beignet style, as a stuffed fritter. Filled with an herbed, creamy cheese and fried with a sweetly crisp outer skin, the blossoms impart a tang and slight bite that make them an addictive starter.

    If you’re harvesting blossoms, it’s best to cut in the morning when the petals are open. The tender flowers don’t keep very well, so they must be handled with care. Whether bringing them in from the garden or home from the market, rinse them in cold water and allow to air-dry. Wrapped in paper towels and sealed in a plastic container, then chilled in the crisper drawer at around 34 degrees, they will stay fresh for up to two days. But enjoy them while you can: Like many of the pleasures of summer, the squash blossom is all too fleeting.

    SQUASH BLOSSOM FRITTERS
    Batter:
    1 cup flour
    1/2 cup cornstarch
    1/2 tsp. kosher salt
    1/2 cup skim milk
    1/2 cup summer ale

    Filling:
    1/2 cup soft goat cheese
    1 clove garlic, minced
    1 Tbsp. chopped fresh basil
    1 Tbsp. chopped fresh lemon thyme
    Pinch kosher salt and fresh ground pepper
    Canola oil
    12 squash blossoms

    For batter: Sift dry ingredients, then whisk in liquids until smooth. Cover and chill for 30 minutes.
    For filling: In bowl, combine goat cheese, garlic, herbs and seasoning; mix well.
    Slightly open blossoms, spoon about 1 teaspoon of filling into center of each; do not overfill. Twist the top of the blossom to close, chill for 15 minutes.
    For cooking: Pour oil into a 2-inch deep skillet/pan to a depth of about 1/2 inch. Heat on high for about 5 minutes. Test oil with a small cube of bread, which will turn golden within seconds when oil is ready.
    Dip stuffed blossom into batter, then slip it gently into the hot oil. Cook and turn until golden on all sides, about 3 minutes. Cook in batches, without overcrowding skillet. Use a slotted spoon to transfer to paper towels.
    Sprinkle the blossoms with salt, squeeze a lemon over them, and serve immediately.

  • Liquid Incense

    I must say I have never understood what the Playboy bunnies saw in Dr. Kissinger. Perhaps they’re professionally equipped to detect charm and wit where mere men miss it. Who knows, the long fluffy ears may contain hidden sensors programmed to relay subtle messages to secondary brains located in the bunnies’ gluteal powder puffs, which, when they are not using them to the same end as the brontosaurus did its rear brain—to regulate the wagging of its great tail—can then transmit in appropriate code to the State Department in Foggy Bottom.

    Certainly one of the most delicious moments I ever heard on the BBC Home Service was an interview with Dr. Kissinger conducted by Jeremy Paxman, the Rottweiler of English political radio. It was a Monday morning, and the return leg of the school run. I had what MPR calls a “driveway moment” so powerful that I had to pull over. Dr. Kissinger clearly thought he had been invited to talk on the wireless so he could puff the sales of his new book. Instead he was asked some rather direct questions about the bombing of Cambodia. The scraping of the chair as the bodacious doctor rose to his feet was punctuated by Mr. Paxman’s running commentary: “Dr. Kissinger appears to be leaving … Bye, Dr. Kissinger.” Gee, those Brits are so polite.

    I guess what irks me most about him, though, is the well-known Kissinger dictum on academic politics, namely that infighting in universities is so bitter because what is at stake is so insignificant. Insignificant to whom, one may ask. Intelligent folk give their lives to enterprises like the breeding of fruit-flies or the study of Shi’ite theology because they think them important (and you never know when such pure study may come in handy—Foggy Bottom could perhaps use a spot of Shi’ite theology). More to the point, pure research is an enterprise often lonely and always imaginative. That is why it engages the passions. When someone whose intimate life has been engaged from an early age with understanding the Middle Ages is told that professional mediaevalists do not actually need to know Latin, it is scarcely surprising that he suffers an acute sense of humor failure. Of such differences are academic disputes made. They may seem insignificant to folk like the erstwhile plenipotentiary, but they are bitter for the rather prosaic reason that they often involve principles that the participants care about passionately.

    It is the same in churches. You can get good Christian folk to disagree about lots of things, from civil unions to the Doctrine of the Trinity. But in my experience the easiest way to incite a spirit of uncharitableness is incense; I am sure Uncle Screwtape would not disagree. For some folk, incense is insincere show, the reek of Rome, the epitome of vain repetition. For others, holy smoke is the prayer of the faithful rising up before God, swirling, shot through with sunlight, shared; they recall how early Christians witnessing the martyrdom of their comrades remarked on the sweet smell emanating from their seared flesh. Incense matters because it has to do with the way Christians pray, and that, presumably, is something they really care about.

    For those who find incense makes them wheezy, let me suggest a method of appreciating it in liquid form. It comes in slim green bottles containing wine made from Carignan grapes by Cline Cellars of Contra Costa County in California. Carignan is a variety with few friends. It has long been widely planted in southwestern France, where it has generally been blended with other varieties to produce vin very ordinaire, promote hangovers and cirrhosis, and sustain full employment in the French agricultural sector. Carignan vines contributed copiously to the Common Market’s “wine lake,” and in recent times French growers have been encouraged to grub them up.

    But where many Frenchmen have failed, Cline Cellars has made a distinctive, strong, dry red wine from Carignan grapes. I sipped it recently at a local hostelry alongside a plate of good oily spaghetti Bolognese. The acids cut right through the oils. But what was most remarkable was the smoky aroma that rose through the roof of the mouth directly from the tannins at the center of the taste. I have seldom met anything like it—the nearest thing I can think of is a nobly nutty, dry Oloroso sherry drunk a quarter-century ago. This is not a wine for everyone—bunnies, I am told, prefer champagne. But those who do like it should find it feeds the imagination. Give it a try.

  • Diddly Squat

    “We’re going to get booted out of there pretty quickly,” one of the bunch predicted. With that, the full implications of our parking squat—the Twin Cities’ first, as far as we knew—became clear. Inspired by similar actions in New York, San Francisco, and even a city in Sicily, we were going to lay claim to a metered parking space in Minneapolis with multiple flesh-and-blood bodies instead of the impassive steel and plastic of a single automobile. The point was to draw attention to the enormous amount of public real estate reserved for cars via roads and parking spaces—and how thoroughly we accept this arrangement. Why should cars exclusively rule the roads, anyway?

    Nothing on the City of Minneapolis website explicitly limited the space at a parking meter to cars, but we suspected that a resourceful police officer could find any number of reasons to harass, fine, or even jail us. The general public, too, might not take kindly to a parking squat—especially in our targeted area near the Metrodome in Minneapolis, on a Twins game day. Partly for these reasons, we decided to bring along an infant and a seven-year-old; the presence of children, we figured, would help diffuse any hostilities.

    Our core group of nine squatters set up on a gorgeous Friday afternoon at a prime, partly shaded parking spot at Park Avenue and Fourth Street. We were within sight of the light-rail line, and directly across the sidewalk from a “No Trespassing” sign protecting a vast parking lot. We brought large potted plants to offset the concrete and asphalt surrounding us, plus a variety of folding chairs, and cold drinks and snacks. As the baby napped in his car seat, the older child played on his father’s laptop. He had settled in the gutter, lounging on top of a dismantled tent. (If things went well, we could stay til the early morning—we had an eight-hour meter.)
    When a friend strolled over from Orchestra Hall, one of our group went down the street to fetch an extra chair from the car. “Hold on a minute!” he said incredulously. “You drove a car to a parking squat?” Actually, we had driven four cars. Our friend had uncovered a contradiction, it seemed; on the other hand, we weren’t protesting the existence of cars—only demonstrating that humans deserve equal consideration. Besides, it would have been difficult to carry chairs and potted plants on a bike.

    Other participants arrived at the squat, trickling in among the crowds of Twins fans headed for the 7:10 game with Washington. The plan was to engage the public with free lemonade and peanuts, all the while educating them about our parking-squat statement.

    We quickly found, however, that offering lemonade to strangers made us look creepy. We resorted to toasting ourselves with paper cups: “Yay, parking squat! Woohoo!” Although a few people stared surreptitiously (and looked away if we acknowledged them), for the most part we were roundly ignored. Suddenly, dozens of bicyclists appeared among the cars on Fourth Street. It was the monthly Critical Mass ride, known to sometimes engender antagonistic reactions from motorists. We yelled out to them in solidarity with their concern about the predominance of the automobile in our culture—“Parking squat! Parking squat!”—but received only puzzled looks as they pedaled on their way.

    One of our ranks decided to get more direct. He walked to the corner, where groups of game-goers were waiting for the light to change. “Do you guys know what a parking squat is?” The traffic noise apparently made it hard to hear. Some thought he was an imbecile—of course they knew what a parking spot was. One young man thought he was selling pot, and inquired whether it was hydroponic. But mostly he was treated with as much disregard as the scalper across the street. He persisted: “See right over there? We’ve taken over this parking spot to show how much public space we devote to cars.” The sole reactions came from two women. One said “Cool! Have fun”; the other said “I think I have an issue with that,” but she didn’t break stride, much less summon the authorities.

    Finally our guy tried a different tack: “Hey! Did you guys know that you can plug the meter at any parking space and have a tailgate party without even having a car?” He received a few patronizing nods but mostly just averted gazes.

    Eventually, we gave up. Several police cars and a fire truck had cruised by without so much as slowing down. An attempt to make a statement about public space had turned into a lesson about public indifference. Though we lacked beer, we settled in to have fun anyway, inventing a game called “Peanut in a Cup.” Said with a certain tinge of lasciviousness—“Ladies! How about a game of Peanut in a Cup?”—it was possible to really get people to hustle away.

  • Giving It Away

    Milt Helmer comes off as a happy salesman—all smiles under a thinning twist of salt-and-pepper hair—but the retiree glares through his square glasses if he thinks somebody’s trying to pry hard-earned bits of wisdom out of him. “What should the daily newspapers do to remain viable? Let them figure that out for themselves. I’m not here to solve their problems,” he says.

    The former publisher of The Shopper/Free Press, a free weekly owned by his family for fifty-one years, knows that newspapers across the United States are having a hard time. He’s heard the stories of lost advertisers, declining circulation, and brutal personnel cuts. But The Shopper/Free Press Company—now run by Helmer’s nephews—isn’t just surviving in today’s cutthroat environment, it’s thriving.

    Helmer’s parents, Clayton and Gertrude, founded their own newspaper, The Reporter, in 1940, the same year the couple opened a printing business in their basement—but closed it in 1968 as their free paper, The Shopper, took off.

    That The Shopper has grown from a single ad-laden paper with a few thousand circulation in the Ellsworth, Wis., area in 1956 to a seven-paper chain—the Hudson Free Press, Baldwin Shopper, River Falls Shopper, Miss-Croix Shopper, Ellsworth Shopper, Hiawatha Valley Shopper, and Hastings Free Press (with a combined circulation of 60,000)—is even more surprising when you see its headquarters. The operation is run out of an office building that was Helmer’s childhood home in the tiny western Wisconsin village of Beldenville. As each new paper was started, farmhouse rooms were converted into offices, and aluminum-sided additions grew off the back of the house and spilled down a backyard hill.

    “Bigger subscription papers used to think of free papers as throwaways or junk,” Helmer said. “Now we’ve taken the lead. Free newspaper circulation across America in the last five years has eclipsed dailies. More people are reading free papers than paid dailies.”

    According to industry audits, he’s right. The latest figures from the Circulation Verification Council show free weeklies sending out 66.8 million copies a week.

    Subscription dailies are sending out 55.3 million copies a week, and are on the decline. The numbers reflects not only a continuing downward trend for traditional newspaper circulation, but their means of delivery: The free newspapers usually go to every door in their coverage area, while subscription papers only go to those who buy them.

    “This is not a business for the faint of heart, but it can be done quite well,” said Joe Green, president of the Independent Free Papers of America trade group. “The Helmers have done quite well when the markets are strong and have survived multiple downturns. People who survive when it’s tough, they’re generally successful.”

    Green attributes the success of free papers to the fact that, like the Helmer papers, most are family-run by folks who “show up every day and work twelve hours.”

    Helmer’s papers are just a handful of the seventy-some free “shoppers” and community newspapers delivered across Minnesota, the southeast corner of South Dakota and the southwest corner of Wisconsin, according to the Minnesota Free Paper Association. These publications are heavy on ads and light on news. The eight or nine paid columnists in each issue don’t focus on what the New York Times might classify as current events. In fact, traditional hard news—Tornado kills 20 or Council votes to raise taxes—doesn’t usually make it into the shoppers.

    In one edition of the Hastings Free Press, for example, a columnist ruminates on the possibility of a man-rabbit hybrid: “Could he run fast? Could he hear better? Would he snack on carrots at work?” Another writer speaks directly to the person who stole his deer-hunting tree stand: “The individual who stole [it] knows nothing about nobility, respect, or ethics.” A grandmother writes film reviews and rates each one in baseball terms: Flushed Away got a two-bagger, while Running with Scissors only garnered a base rap.

    If paid dailies aren’t about to throw in the towel and become free and community papers, they’ve at least adopted some of their strategies: In recent years the industry has introduced weekly editions focused on individual suburban regions, and is implementing plans to focus its daily coverage on local news. In 2004, the Pioneer Press created separate editions to focus on Dakota and Washington counties, the north metro, and western Wisconsin; several large newspapers, from the Los Angeles Times to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, have lately endeavored to add advertising revenue by purchasing and running smaller community papers.

    Helmer doesn’t worry about encroachment by the competition. The company’s seven papers are entrenched in their communities. “There’s generations that don’t know anything else,” he said. “There’s a part of our community that hasn’t read anything else. In fact, when they say they read it in the paper, they usually mean us.”

  • Destination: Tomorrow!

    Later this month, the World Future Society brings its annual conference, including a Minnesota Futures Day, to Minneapolis. To mark the occasion, Dregni sat down with the most outspoken member of the Society’s Minnesota chapter, Hank Lederer, who forecast possible advancements over the next century for the book, Follies of Science: 20th Century Visions of Our Fantastic Future (see page 38). An advocate of scientific optimism, Lederer is a retired computer scientist and a past president of the Minnesota Futurists, which, he said, “is like being the future president of the Minnesota Historical Society”; he will co-present on nanotechnology at the conference on July 30.  

    “I never think of the future,” Albert Einstein famously said sometime back in the twentieth century. “It comes soon enough.” Hank Lederer, though, can’t stop thinking about it. He rattles off descriptions of the technological marvels that await us with the rapidity of a semi-automatic ray-gun. “I have benefited enormously from high tech,” he says. “I was born two months premature, so technology saved my life.” Lederer was born in Chicago in 1933, and by the time he was ten years old, he’d read stacks of sci-fi books and comics. “I had chemistry sets, model airplanes, Erector Sets—I love all that crap. But I hate algebra, so I never went into science.”

    Instead, he got a B.S. in business administration from Macalester College, an M.B.A. from Northwestern, and wound up back in Minnesota working at Honeywell’s aerospace division in 1960. “I loved computers, but Honeywell didn’t have any back then, so I went to Control Data Corporation in 1964. I used a lot of punch cards in those million-dollar computers,” Lederer said. “The discrete transistors got so hot that some were cooled by liquid nitrogen. Control Data had to turn on their air-conditioning in the winter.” Always one to point out the dramatic progress of technology, Lederer observes, “Now my cell phone is a hundred times more powerful than those giant computers that filled a floor of the building in Bloomington.”

    Lederer firmly believes that the biggest invention of the twentieth century was the integrated circuit chip developed in the 1960s. “People use it as proof that aliens have landed here, because it is too fantastic for humans to have invented. Just imagine, there are twenty million transistors in one circuit chip the size of a postage stamp. They can’t even be seen with a microscope. The transistor is a billion times cheaper than the next cheapest man-made object—say, a staple.”

    While Lederer was working with early computers at Control Data, the World Future Society came into being in 1966 in Washington, D.C. The organization’s goal was to promote more accessible visions by extrapolating into the near future, instead of promoting the kind of far-out utopian daydreams that authors like Jules Verne or Edward Bellamy had dreamt up one hundred years earlier. Rather than rockets and ray-guns, the WFS’s magazine, The Futurist, publishes thoughtful ideas with an academic bent, as opposed to the more fantastical visions in Popular Science. For example, it highlights simple yet crucial technologies invented for the developing world, such as the LifeStraw water purification device, pot-in-pot food coolers, and a bamboo treadle pump in an article called “Designing for the Other 90 Percent.” Another article, “Capitalism with a Conscience,” predicts that the rise of socially responsible investing in China and other developing nations will create sustainable economies as investors “vote” with their money to create a world using clean technologies.

    The World Future Society was wary of organizing satellite futurist groups until Earl Joseph, a Minnesotan computer scientist, overwhelmed them with his enthusiasm. Joseph, who died last February at the age of eighty, worked for Sperry Univac (later Unisys), and eventually formed his own company, Anticipatory Sciences, Inc. The Minnesota Futurists became the first chapter of the World Future Society, with Joseph as the president.

    When it came to forecasting the future, Joseph often looked back on trends for guidance. For instance, he wrote that life expectancy “in 1900 … was about 35 years. In 2000—it was about 75 years. If the same rate of increase continues, then in 2100, the average person could reach 150 years of age.” To forecast changes in computer technology—trending from vacuum tubes and silicon chips to artificial intelligence, bio chips, and quantum chips—Joseph wrote that the “rate of advance has been doubling computer capability every two years. If computers continue to advance at the same rate, then they will be a thousand times more capable by the year 2024!”

  • Michael Dirda

    Pulitzer Prize-winner Michael Dirda is something of an endangered species: a professional book critic. At a time when daily newspapers are shrinking their book sections or eliminating them altogether, Dirda soldiers on at the stalwart Washington Post Book World. His criticism has always been marked by real passion for reading—that’s maybe too fancy; the guy obviously just loves to read—and his reviews and essays are thoughtful, expansive, and occasionally digressive in the best possible way. He’s also the author of a number of books (including Book by Book: Notes on Reading and Life), all of them offshoots of his literary rambles. 300 Nicollet Mall. 612-630-6174; www.friendsofmpl.org

  • Jonis Agee

    Agee has always been a fascinating study, as well as refreshingly free of literary conceits and pretension. She has a distinctly Midwestern, blue-collar sensibility, and is fearless (or perhaps heedless) when it comes to her subjects; this is a woman, after all, who somehow managed to publish a collection of stories built around automobile racing, and that topic provides plenty of apt metaphors for Agee’s fiction: breakneck speed, unexpected twists and turns, and spectacular flameouts. Her latest novel is a gothic family saga set in Missouri’s Bootheel region, and features, among other plotlines and hard-boiled entanglements, river piracy. 3038 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-822-4611; www.magersandquinn.com