The Rake Magazine

Category: Blog Post

  • Singleton v. Ridder: Absolutely Breathtaking

    Unlike your average legal filing, the complaint Dean Singleton’s Media News Group has dropped on Par Ridder and Avista Capital Partners is a damned good read. Maybe that’s because Singleton has hired a former Star Tribune reporter, Dan Oberdorfer, to bring the case against the new owners and operators of his old paper.

    The complaint is full of semi-farcical imagery and loaded phraseology, entirely appropriate for telling a story as tawdry and squalid as this, but also remarkable considering the family pedigrees of the people involved. The picture of Ridder “scheming” (a word actually used in the filing), is so tacky and disreputable, not to mention clumsy, that you half expect to read something about a frowsy blonde and a Vegas hotel key.

    A couple personal favorites: I like the part where the PiPress demands Ridder return an external hard drive containing vital, proprietary information. Ridder claims he can’t find it so … he sends over … a NEW EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE. As though Ridder later had a moment where he slaps his head and says, “Oh, you wanted what was ON the external hard drive! Well, why didn’t you say so?”

    Also good is the part where Ridder agrees not to take any PiPress executives with him, but then claims to have thought that that only applied to the precise day he left … not two whole business days later for chrissakes.

    Or wait. One more: Par downloads SIXTEEN spreadsheets and … allegedly … claims he did so only to show his new Strib staff how he
    likes his financial info formatted. Riiiiight.

    It goes on and on … and on. In fact it goes on so long and in such reputation-slurring detail it takes your breath away. I mean, corporate titans and the pampered sons of corporate titans are not supposed to behave this way in plain view of the masses. Maybe a thunderous hail of legalese between executive suites, with bland official-speak for public consumption, but nothing like Dean Singleton, back in the PiPress newsroom (again) Thursday — (lot of miles on the corporate jet, Dean-o) — saying, “In Par’s world he could get away with anything he wanted to because Daddy always took care of that. Well, it’s too late for that now.”

    As for the real, competitive value of whatever information Ridder may have brought with him, a former PiPress salesperson argues that it actually does add up to something. Some of us have glibly dismissed the idea that PiPress ad contracts could possibly contain anything a sharp Star Tribune account executive couldn’t easily surmise. But no.

    The former PiPresser paints a picture of at least a year of ruthless rate-cutting by the Strib for big contract advertisers, like Denny Hecker, for example. In cases like that, the Strib would love to know exactly what the PiPress has countered-offered, and for how long. And it’s not just big advertisers. The Strib would obviously also like to know the details of accounts with small, localized advertisers in all those PiPress regional editions.

    A couple hecklers have mocked my instantly-obsolete Grand Unifying Conspiracy Theory, (see previous post), which I put up maybe 30 minutes before Singleton sued Ridder. This was the theory where Ridder going to the Strib was in preparation for Singleton moving in in a couple years as the logical buyer after Avista has harvested its profits and wants an orderly out of a dead-end business like newspapers.

    So OK, on the face of it that theory doesn’t look, uh, “operative”, what with Singleton calling Ridder a spoiled Daddy’s boy.

    But … continue to pay attention to Grand Unifying Conspiracy Theory II. The part about Daddy Ridder and other cash-rich Ridders, with their Minnesota connections, possibly already holding an interest in Avista. Under this alternative theory, part of Singleton’s unusually personal indignation might come from realizing the Ridders have tried to play him for a chump.

    In another facet of the story, Jack Sullivan, the PiPress newsroom’s union chairman, says Singleton assured the staff yesterday that the cost of this suit — with clocks already running at two firms — will not be assessed against the PiPress. (I’d like that in writing, if I could.)

    Sullivan also says he sent PiPress publisher Fred Mott a letter this past Tuesday — before the suit was announced — requesting that Mott share with the union proof that Ridder and Avista have destroyed any and all information related to salaries and other employment data of PiPress newsroom personnel.

  • A Weekend of Many Voices and Oddities

    FILM
    New Voices in Native Media

    as.gifOne of the beauties of Minnesota is its rich Native American culture — a culture not confined to pow-wows and beadwork, but permeating every part of our daily existence. This weekend we have a unique opportunity to explore Native voices in film. New Voices in Native Media honors youth and new filmmakers. Head out tonight for the mini-film festival’s opening reception, talk to the filmmakers and their families, and then enjoy two days of short films, videos, and animations.

    Opening Reception Friday from 6-7 p.m., Screenings Friday and Saturday from 7-9 p.m., Center for Independent Artists, Instituto de Cultrua Y Educacion, 4137 Bloomington Ave. South, 612-724-8392; free.

    Iddy Biddy Film Festival

    iddybiddy.jpgIf you’re up for some more short films and animations from all over the world, head on over to the the Iddy Biddy Film Festival on Saturday. This Adamantine Arts presentation features 10-second to 10-minute films and music by Kill the Vultures, Night in the Box, and Small Towns Burn a Little Slower.

    Saturday at 7 p.m., Suburban World Theatre, 3022 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis, 612-822-9000; $8.

    MULTIMEDIA ART
    Korean American Memories of the Korean War

    spp_sigimage.jpgLearn about the ever-present (and much-neglected) impact of the Korean War. Saturday is the Minnesota opening of Still Present Pasts — a multimedia exhibit exploring the legacies of the Korean War. Based on Ramsay Liem’s Korean American Memories of the Korean War Oral History Project, the exhibit reveals multiple legacies of the war that influence individual, family, and community life, to this day. Saturday’s program features a brief introduction by Ramsey Liem, a brief history by Ji Yeon Yuh, Chang Mi dancers, Shinparam (drummers), and poetry readings by Ed Bok Lee, Walter K. Lew, and Sun Yung Shin.

    Saturday at 7 p.m., Intermedia Arts, 2822 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis, 612-871-4444.

    Two Exhibits Come to an End

    Tnagle20.jpgThis weekend is your last chance to see both the Stella Ebner and Larry Hofmann exhibits at the Groveland Gallery, and the David Lefkowitz exhibit at Thomas Barry Fine Arts. Stella Ebner’s domestic-themed woodcuts “echo the matter of everyday existence, the true flowers and landscape of our lived urban hours.” Meanwhile, Larry Hofmann’s transfigured trees and slightly Martian landscapes “invite you to step out of the paper-and-telephone world and imagine that you have different eyes.” David Lefkowitz puts down the sculpting tools for a while and returns to painting with “oil-painted hybrids of electric-cord kudzu and tropical lianas, limned in an overheated nineteenth-century botanical style. The theme here is the hybrid: How is humanness changing the visible world? What kind of animals are we? How does transformation start, and where does it go?”

    Groveland Gallery, 25 Groveland Terrace, Minneapolis; 612-377-7800. Thomas Barry Fine Arts, 530 Third St. N., Minneapolis; 612-338-3656.

    Images of Dylan

    dylan_sm.jpgCalling all Dylan fans! On Sunday, two photographers who helped solidify Bob Dylan’s identity during the early part of his career — from 1962 to 1965 — will be sharing their work and discussing Dylan’s image as part of his complete body of work. John Cohen and Daniel Kramer are responsible for some of the most popular Dylan images, including the Huck-Finn-hatted Dylan we’ve all grown so fond of, and album covers such as Highway 61 Revisited and Bringing It All Back Home.

    Sunday at 2 p.m., Weisman Art Museum, 333 East River Road, Minneapolis, 612-625-9495; $8 ($4 members/seniors/students).

    THEATER AND PERFORMANCE
    Weekend of Women

    JoanOfArc4web.jpgThe Bryant Lake Bowl is honoring women this weekend with a number of shows. The Second Coming of Joan of Arc, presented on Friday by the 20% Theatre Company, tells their interpretation of Saint Joan of Arc’s life. She was anorexic. She was a teenage runaway. She had an incestuous, alcoholic father. She was in love with a woman. She fought for her right to wear men’s clothes. She led an army. She saved France. And still, she was burned. Oh, and her name wasn’t even Joan. On Saturday and Sunday, see The Flower Shop Project’s Preferred By Discreet Women Everywhere, a story of three women stuck in a public restroom in Minneapolis. And also on Saturday, catch Eos Productions’ Women Stand Up! Comedy Cabaret!.

    Bryant Lake Bowl Cabaret, 810 West Lake St., Minneapolis, 612-825-3737; check prices.

    ADVENTURES
    A True Crime Evening of Music, Art and Mystery

    susan_oval_small.gifBack about twenty years ago (Has it really been that long?), pre-packaged murder mystery games became extremely popular. For about $50 you would buy a box that contained everything you needed. Then you simply mailed out the invitations (included in the box, of course) with instructions for the guests on what to wear and how to act according to their characters. Finally, everyone would meet for a thematic night of adventure, play out their characters, and follow a series of steps to solve the murder. Well, in all honesty, I have no idea if this is what’s in store for Saturday’s big fundraiser at the Soo Visual Arts Center, but it’s weird enough to spark some interest. In an effort to raise money for an odd documentary film about dolls used for crime scene investigation, local documentary filmmaker Susan Marks invites you to solve a murder mystery inspired by one the doll crime scenes featured in her next film. Our Wildest Dreams: A True Crime Evening of Music, Art and Mystery also includes a silent art auction, door prizes, drinks and music by Luke Zimmerman.

    Saturday at 7 p.m., Soo Visual Arts Center, 2640 Lyndale Ave. S., Minneapolis, 612-386-6694; $20 ($15 advance).

    READINGS
    What Light

    In April of 2006, mnartists.org launched a weekly online poetry series, What Light: This Week’s Poem during National Poetry Month. Poet and critic Lightsey Darst and mnartists.org editor Ann Klefstad coordinated the series, posting a new poem every Monday on mnartists.org and magersandquinn.com, along with a profile of the poet. Now, after a very successful run, some of these poems have come to life in print form with the release of What Light: A Poetry Anthology. Join mnartists.org, Magers & Quinn Booksellers, and some of the 27 featured Minnesota poets for a book launch party and reading on Sunday.

    Sunday at 5 p.m., Lucia’s Bakery, 1432 W. 31st St, Minneapolis, 612-825-1572.

    BOOKS
    A Hilarious and Desperate Story

    brendan.jpgDid you happen to read Year of the Ice? Maybe you took a creative writing class at the Loft, or even at Emerson. No matter. If you haven’t yet been introduced to local author Brian Malloy, tonight’s the night. Go hear him discuss his new novel Brendan Wolf. Like his previous novel, this one is also set in Minneapolis. And much like his previous novel, this one unveils a dark and complex story with heart-breaking characters. His novels are very honest and real, always highlighting the complexities of human relationships and self-exploration. Malloy will sign copies of his book following the discussion.

    Friday at 6:30 p.m., University of Minnesota Bookstore, Coffman Memorial Union, 300 Washington Ave. SE, Minneapolis; free.

    FASHION
    Have You Had Enough Yet?

    etoile copy.jpgOk. I already mentioned this — and so has every other publication in this city — but this is Voltage Fashion Weekend, so be sure to head out to participating boutiques to meet designers and purchase items from their fabulous collections. Also on the slate for fashion lovers tonight is the l’étoile magazine Spring/Summer issue release party. Celebrate the release of the biannual fashion and art book, enjoy a special preview, win prizes, and dance to the music of Attitude City, Karl Doreza, and Molotov Cocktails.

    Friday at 8 p.m., Suburban World Theatre, 3022 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis, 612-822-9000; $8.

  • A Thing Of Strange Beauty

    Here’s one of those situations where the way victories are handed out just isn’t fair. Pat Neshek, who found himself in a tough, tough spot (thank you, Juan Rincon) and kept the Twins in the game, should get that win, with an assist from Carl Crawford.

    Or what the hell: give the thing to Carlos Silva, who’s done nothing so far but make all those spring training critics (not this guy, though) look like complete idiots. The Jackal was clearly paying very close attention to Ramon Ortiz’s start last night.

    And people say it all the time, but it remains true at least a half dozen times a year: even if you waste entirely too much time watching baseball, you’re still guaranteed to see things you’ve never seen before, and I’m pretty damn sure I’ve never witnessed a 9-4-2-6 double play. Something like that’ll boggle your mind, and didn’t you just have the sense as soon as it unfolded that the game was over for Tampa Bay? I imagine everybody in that dugout said a silent prayer of gratitude that Lou Pinella is doing his suffering these days in a Cubs uniform.

    That Morneau walk-off shot was also something to behold. It looked like he hit that thing off the end of the bat, couldn’t really turn on the pitch at all, and still managed to muscle it out of the park.

    Isn’t a baseball season a fabulous thing? Those first two Yankee games already feel like ancient history.

  • Twins Stadium Scouting Report–David Brauer Guest Blog

    Hey folks,
    My friend David Brauer got a look at the new Twins stadium design and kindly shares his impressions…

    Twins Stadium Scouting Report
    by David Brauer

    This is NOT–repeat NOT–a definitive review of the new ballpark. Although I took my time perusing the sketches at the Hennepin County Government Center, the Twins were too cheap to make a 3-D model; and there were no distance-to-the-plate measurements to assess those upper-deck distances (which are always further away than you’re led to believe at new ballparks).

    First impressions: when you’re building your own ballpark PLEASE MAKE ALL THE SEATS FACE THE PLATE! If you look at the lower-deck seats down the line, they actually face the outfield. None are as bad as the Metrodome’s third-base-line seats–creating business for chiropractors for over a quarter-century–but, on the other hand, those Metrodome seats in the right field lower deck corner are actually BETTER situated. Seems to me they could’ve cocked those seats in a bit more and made everyone’s neck happy.

    Also, there’s more roof than I expected; depending on the sun angle, they look like nearly the entire first-base side won’t have to worry about sunburn. (Alternatively, you’ll want to sit down the third base side for those bracing April day games, if MLB is smart enough to schedule any next decade.)

    There’s beaucoup cantilever, and it looks to me like some of the seats at the top level of a section will be blocked by the overhang of the section above. (The lowest seats in left field seem suspicious that way.) Anyone who’s sat way up in Wrigley’s lower deck after they hung the private boxes knows what I’m talking about. To be fair, it’s possible viewing a fly from the outfield will not be as big a problem as viewing a fly from behind the plate.

    I’m intrigued by the broad, flat area right below the scoreboard, which is the roof of some enclosed seating (restaurant?) in centerfield above the batter’s eye; could this be the ballpark’s Wrigley-rooftop experience?

    Speaking of rooftops, the scoreboard is perfectly placed to block the
    rooftop view from Minikada Mini-Storage across 5th Street–which just
    happens to be owned by the same folks who own the ballpark land and forced Hennepin County to condemnation court. Guess Carl Pohlad and County Commissioners can spell F U.

    One of the more intriguing things I heard today is that the park will
    feature 21st-century knotholes–where you can view the action from 5th
    street without buying a ticket. You’ll have to contend with the multi-modal racket, however.

    The plaza, to be built above 6th Street, rises nearly as high as the
    towering 5th Street TAD parking ramp. You can hang out on most of it without a ticket, but there’s no Boog’s Barbecue-type thing in the drawings.

    Now that the votes have been cast, the architects have finally owned up to the fact the graceful Wells Fargo Center will be all but blocked by the cloddish 33 S. 6th Tower (once known as the Multifoods Tower.)

    I could only spot one real light standard–all the rest are cleverly tucked into the roof edge around the field. Thing looked like a hitter’s park to me–more of a HomerDome than the mis-moniker hung on the Metrodome.

    What do y’all think?

  • New Twins Ballpark Design

    Here’s a slide show of the new Twins ballpark renderings that were released today. Tell me what you think.


    Click To Play

  • Avista Back in Minneapolis: Stribbers Fear the Worst.

    The buzz from 425 Portland the past two days has been about Avista suits in the building. Every good newspaper drone assumes this can only mean (more) bad news. (Has any corporate officer EVER come to town with good news? “Profits are up! 20% bonuses for all salaried employees!” or, “Great work! Drinks on us!” It doesn’t happen. They only come to squeeze.) No one thinks the Star Tribune’s new investment-group owners are in Minneapolis to personally break the news that they’re shutting down the press workers’ cafeteria, (which they have, by the way). Something bigger MUST be afoot.

    With that in mind I offer The Grand Unifying Conspiracy Theory that I have cobbled together from the dark mutterings of local reporters. This theory has taken a hit recently with Media News honcho Dean Singleton’s shot at his erstwhile publisher, Par Ridder, the wealthy publishing empire scion who rudely dumped the dowdy confines of the Pioneer Press building for the, uh, opportunities suddenly available to a sharp young operator like him under Avista in Minneapolis.

    To condense it down to something easily digestible, (and therefore also easily dismissible), the Grand Unifying Theory holds basically this:

    Avista Capital Partners didn’t go into a $500 million deal for a newspaper without a carefully calculated plan for getting out, and not being particularly interested in newspapers, such a plan has more facets than merely wasting newsprint in the Twin Cities.

    It assumes that Avista has done their math on all the Star Tribune real estate from the main building to the Metrodome and that it most likely cultivated likely buyers — Zygi Wilf — long before handing any cash over the McClatchy Corporation. The theory then holds that Avista’s interest in operating the Star Tribune is probably much shorter term than even they have said, (in what little they’ve said). Being methodical investor types with natural access to other publishers, Avista would only be exercising fiduciary responsibility by preparing its own exit. How? By entering into an implicit gentlemen’s agreement with their likely successors … in this case, Media News and Dean Singleton.

    To facilitate this handover, both parties, perhaps over drinks at Pebble Beach, would consent to a, shall we say, migration of Media News management talent across town well prior to such a sale. If former Media News managers like Ridder had a couple years to settle in to their positions, trimming the fat as needed prior to Media News assuming control, everything would be all the better for it.

    As I say, on the surface, Singleton saying unkind things about young Mr. Ridder’s loyalty would seem to undercut this theory. But my wretchedly cynical view is that a little righteous indignation by a tycoon like Singleton could create enough smoke to obscure the preparatory work going on.

    This, as I say, is just another hair-brained, moonbat conspiracy theory. You can buy a dozen for a dime on any street corner. But if Avista’s interest in Minneapolis is mainly one of assured return on investment, and the sooner the better, (its not like the value of the damned newspaper is increasing), they’ll announce a sale of a chunk of their newly-acquired downtown real estate ASAP, maybe even real soon.

    So what happens to the Pioneer Press? This theory also holds that Singleton, after picking up the post-real estate Star Tribune for a nicely discounted price, either dumps the PiPress off on some fourth or fifth-tier operator and/or commences his legal plea for a Joint Operating Agreement. A JOA would allow him maybe four or five years to convince federal regulators that the economics of daily newspapers are so deep down the toilet, the Strib and the PiPress should at long last be consolidated into one.

    If you don’t buy the Singleton angle, and think his indignation over Ridder is genuine, then how about the cash-rich Ridder family instead? With Junior already running the show? Does anyone really know that the Ridders are NOT investors in Avista? Has anyone asked that question?

    I know, loony. But consider the source here, folks. You’re getting this from a guy who thinks the Warren Commission’s is one of the most implausible theories of all.

  • Chit-Chat 101

    fam din.JPG

    I think they skipped a horseman, this must be a sign of the coming apocalypse.

    Have you seen the commercials for Stouffer’s new website, During Dinner, in which kicky “Mom” Anne Callaway has coffee and “Mom” Talk with friends, deals with the Callaway Kids, and manages to host a rollicking conversation-filled dinner every night!

    And wait, you can have all that Anne has, and more! There are tips for how to start conversations with your own family! You can even make a personalized placemat for each member of your brood, complete with puzzles, “story starters”, fun-facts, and jokes. It’s true!

    Think about it, you don’t have to talk to little Joey about why he’s been biting kids at school, you can just do a word-find! And why have Molly’s grades been slipping? That’s not fun dinner fodder, let’s challenge our minds with fun-facts and trivia! Forget about trying to find out what’s really going on in your kids’ lives, use this time to train them how to live off cocktail party gibberish.

    Thank you Stouffer’s, thank you for first giving us processed, frozen foods like Creamed Chipped Beef and Salisbury Steak that don’t require actual cooking. And now, thanks for giving us canned chit-chat that doesn’t require any real thought or connection with the people around us.

    Like the Corner Bistro Grilled Chicken Panini, who needs the pressure of reality? Not only can we skip the experience of going to a corner bistro, we can skip the fuss of shopping, the mess of creating, the bother of freshness, the annoyance of nutrition, the niggly matter of flavor, and any potentially embarassing emotions that might ruin our well-constructed family dinner.

  • Old Styles with New Twists

    DANCE
    Neo-Classical Choreography

    JamesSewell2Large.jpgHaving grown up in New York, with a dancer as a sister, I am utterly spoiled when it comes to dancing, particularly ballet. And without offending our local dance companies, I must say that I was extremely please when dancer/choreographer James Sewell made his way back home to Minneapolis in 1993, after a long stint in New York, bringing his company with him. Sewelll began choreographing ballets in 1982, while at the School of American Ballet, in New York. He went on to dance with ABT II, an apprentice company of the American Ballet Theater, and then as principal dancer for the Feld Ballet. Once hailed by The New York Times as “one of American ballet’s best choreographers,” James Sewell consistently delivers innovative and exciting pieces. Tonight, he offers two pieces of his own — Opera Moves and Late — George Balanchine’s Tarantella, and a LightSpace premiere choreographed by Jennifer Hart. Arrive 25 minutes early for a pre-performance discussion of the evening’s delights.

    7:30 p.m., Guthrie Theater, 818 South 2nd St., Minneapolis, 612-377-2224; $27-$32 (students $13.50-$16).

    MUSIC
    R&B with a Solid Heart

    john_legend_170.6794812.jpgWhile so many R&B singers are out there stripping off their shirts and talking up the babe booties, John Legend delivers a straightforward honesty and sweetness that you simply can’t ignore. Somehow, he manages to sing about relationships, commitment, and infidelity without getting nasty — and you know what I mean by nasty. Yes, Legend has been accused of riding on Kanye West’s shirt tails, but after winning three Grammy Awards for his 2004 breakout album, Get Lifted, this man can stand on his own. Since then, he has even transformed his seductive tone into something slightly more retro, reminiscent of 60s R&B — sweet vibrant whispers. Opening for him tonight is English singer/songwriter Corinne Bailey Rae. What this jazzy vocalist lacks in raw, rough edges, she makes up for in simple emotion. Her songs are heart-felt and well executed.

    7:30 p.m., Historic Orpheum Theatre, 910 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis, 612-373-5600; $45-$75.

    Listen to John Legend.
    Listen to Corinne Bailey Rae.

    Ocean Waves on Broken Glass

    Bruce Goldish promo web.jpgGuitar aficionados should really go check out Bruce Goldfish this evening. Now living in California, this Minnesota native offers up some great finger-picking with a new age twist and a little bit of everything else tossed in for good measure — a touch of flamenco, a twist of the classical, and a whole lot of texture. Granted, it’s all infused with the whole new age feel, but if you like listening to the wind, then this is your thing.

    7:30 p.m., Gingko Coffeehouse, 721 N. Snelling Ave., St. Paul, 651-645-2647; $10.

    Listen to Bruce Goldfish.
    Watch and listen to Bruce Goldfish’s demo video.

    Making Music

    Tapes.jpgIf you want to be more than just a passive listener, head out to The Whole tonight for Josh Grier’s Making Music event — featuring an interview, a live demonstration, and Q+A from the audience. As lead guitarist and vocalist for Tapes ‘n Tapes, Josh Grier will be sharing his talents, his inspirations, his history, and his music. It’s a great opportunity for aspiring musicians and Grier fans in general.

    8-10 p.m., Coffman Memorial Union, The Whole, 300 Washington Ave. SE, Minneapolis, 612-624-INFO; free.

    Listen to Jon Grier with Tapes ‘n Tapes.

    THEATER & PERFORMANCE
    Or the White Whale

    Whale.jpg“Orson Welles did it, and Laurie Anderson, too. Now local director Jon Ferguson — best known for his 2005 hit, Please Don’t Blow Up Mr. Boban — has taken up the challenge of adapting Melville’s epic for the stage. This is an undertaking that, he admits, could elude, haunt, and/or — much as with Captain Ahab — swallow him whole. Ferguson’s project got under way with the casting of clowns and dancers from physical theater circles as well as actors from more text-based traditions. With this range of performers, the show aims to capture both the powerful physicality and the amazing prose of the story. Intriguingly, a fully functional set involves ropes, planks, canvas, and pulleys, meaning that as the play production builds, so too will constructed images of the sea, the ship, and even the whale.”

    8 p.m. (through April 22), Southern Theater, 1420 Washington Ave. S., Minneapolis, 612-340-1725; $22.

    COMEDY
    Joy Schtick

    Behar_Joy_web.jpgAny woman who can make you laugh is well worth your time. Tonight, Joy Behar will be performing her schtick at Orchestra Hall Best known as co-host of the Emmy Award-winning talk show The View, Behar is a true comedienne, tackling some of the most controversial topics (which is what comedians love most, of course) with honesty and wit. Behar has appeared on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Live with Regis and Kelly, and The Late Show with David Letterman. She also starred in her own HBO special and was one of the judges on the Jay Mohr reality series Last Comic Standing. Go start the weekend off with a belly-full of laughter.

    7:30 p.m., Orchestra Hall, 1111 Nicollet Mall, Minneapolis, 612-371-5656; $37.75-$61.75.

    READINGS
    A Curious Combination

    dickinson$josephine.gif“Here’s a pairing with a curious backstory. Galway Kinnell, whose 1980 Selected Poems won both the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Award, was touring in Northern England when he found himself at a reading by Josephine Dickinson, a deaf Oxford-educated poet, musician, composer, and teacher. More than a decade earlier, she had fallen in love with and married a sheep farmer more than twice her age. So struck was Kinnell by Dickinson’s poetry, most of which is set in England’s rugged Pennine Mountains, that he wrote an introduction for her American debut, Silence Fell, and helped get it into print. He’s also got his own new collection, Strong is Your Hold, and the duo will read from and discuss their work as the Talking Volumes program celebrates National Poetry Month.”

    7 p.m., Fitzgerald Theater, 10 E. Exchange Street, St. Paul, 651-290-1221; $15.

    THURSDAY FASHION PICK
    Fresh off the Runway

    designer_kg.jpgFresh off her run at DIVA MN and last night’s charged rock and runway show, Voltage: Fashion Amplified, Minnesota’s celebrity clothing designer, Katherine Gerdes, will be selling her fine jersey gowns at the Design Collective this weekend. Rumor has it that she might also toss in a tea dress and top or two. To kick things off, and to celebrate the first-ever Voltage Fashion Weekend, the store is hosting a meet ‘n greet with the designer and Project Runway alum from 1 to 3 p.m. on Saturday. That event will take place just around the corner from the store, at The Tea Garden in Uptown.

    Saturday 11 a.m. – 7 p.m., Design Collective, 1311 26th Street West, Minneapolis, 612-377-1000. Meet-n-Greet: Saturday 1-3 p.m., Tea Garden, 2601 Hennepin Ave S., Minneapolis, 612-377-1700.

  • The Three-Pointer: Official Tank Mode

    Game #78, Home Game #39–Dallas 105, Minnesota 88

    1. KG “Hurt”–And Gone for Good?

    For the first time in a dozen years, there is a distinct possibility that the Minnesota Timberwolves will not take the floor with Kevin Garnett to start the year in the 2007-08 season. Garnett has been put on the shelf with a right quad injury that everyone knows would not prevent him from performing if it were beneficial to the Wolves future to win rather than lose games at this point in the season. He has an opt-out clause in his contract at the end of next season, meaning that for the Wolves to get full value in a trade, they would probably have to move him during this off-season. Then there is the question of whether even KG’s patience has finally run out after three straight pathetic seasons out of the playoffs.

    My gut feeling, right now, is that Garnett stays, at least through the mid-point of next season. That assumes the team will keep their draft pick and be choosing among the top 7-8 teams in the lottery this summer. But, hey, I’m only guessing and so is everyone else. The point is, like the rest of us, Garnett is sick of this season, tired of the same old April bullshit, tired of hearing for the past 12 months that all the team needed was a tweak or two, then that all the team needed was some consistency, then that all the team needed was better chemistry–and when all that dense delusion was exposed as being clueless wishful thinking, THEN hearing that McHale and Wittman were probably coming back.

    Seriously, what can anyone from the front office tell the fan base with a straight face at this point in the proceedings? It already almost too late for people to do the honorable thing and resign.

    2. The Usual Suspects

    Dallas had nothing to play for, having already secured the top record in the entire NBA. They sat their MVP candidate, Dirk Nowitzki. They sat their starting center, Erick Dampier. They sat their starting point guard, Devin Harris. They sat their 6th man, Jerry Stackhouse. They had Austin Croshere and Devean George in the starting lineup and gave rookie Maurice Agar the second-most minutes of anyone on the team. They also were outscored in the second and fourth quarters and tied in the first.

    Ah, but the third quarter. With 6:36 to go, the score was tied at 63. At the end of the period it was 66-86. And who was on the court for most of that blitzkrieg? Mark Blount, Ricky Davis and Mike James, with Craig Smith and Marko Jaric along for most of the dysfunctional ride. So, what happened Coach Wittman?

    “Ball domination. I think we had two guys score. I just thought our offense was terrible, which led to bad defense.”

    Yes, indeed, Mike James had 11 of the team’s 15 points for the period, taking 6 shots and earning zero assists. The other four points belonged to Mark Blount on 2-4 FG. Davis had the club’s only two assists of the period but missed all 4 of his shots. Smith likewise was 0-4 and Marko was 0-1–ditto Randy Foye and Rashad McCants, who came in in the last 2-3 minutes and couldn’t stop the bleeding.

    It is good to know that the veteran tankers did not let up with the decision to waylay Garnett. And good to see that Wittman didn’t chance fate but subbing in hustle, fundamental guys like Hassell and Madsen. Philly beat Boston tonight, so that draft pick is a wee bit more secure.

    3. Consolation Prize

    The game’s two high scorers for their respective teams, Croshere with 19 and Justin Reed with 17, got tied up under the boards and nearly came to blows at the other end, each earning a technical. Bracey Wright demonstrated admirable restraint by attempting just one shot in 12 minutes of play–the entire garbage time 4th quarter in a garbage time point of the season. Wright must believe that everyone knows he can shoot, and concentrated on grabbing three boards, doling out a dime and playing decent defense.

    Hassell played 11:13 and was +1 in a 17-point loss. Madsen played 10:57 and was even.

  • On The Count Of Three I Want Everybody To Remove Their Hands From The Panic Button

    There, there now. We got that fat Bronx monkey off our backs until July. Doesn’t that feel a whole lot better?

    And after the bloodletting of the last couple nights wasn’t it nice to see Ramon Ortiz go out there and attack the Yankee hitters with what looked like a solid gameplan? To see a guy who was –let’s be honest– a pretty big question mark after his last several seasons pitch so quickly and with such enthusiasm (and, thank God, with so little perspiration)?

    No dicking around. That’s exactly what we like to see.

    And wasn’t it nice to see the offense, so inept over the last handful of games, come back and reward Ortiz for his eight solid innings of work?

    Wasn’t it nice to see Alex Casilla out there? The kid sure looks like he belongs in the Major Leagues.

    And isn’t it nice to see Michael Cuddyer continue to take pitches and work the count and get hits? And to have Luis Rodriguez, a desperation choice at designated hitter if ever there was one, come through with a couple hits?

    Everybody in the lineup got on base. Wasn’t that nice?

    Wasn’t it all so nice?

    Isn’t it nice to be 5-3?

    Wouldn’t it be nice if we could all just settle down and give this season –and this team– a chance to get a couple months under its belt before we start hyperventilating and foaming at the mouth?

    Yes, that would be nice, but it isn’t, of course, going to happen.

    And, finally, wouldn’t it be nice if we never had to hear one more person point out that Doug Mientkiewicz, who bats eighth for the mighty Yankees, hit third for the Twins.

    As if Mientkiewicz ever had any business batting third for any Major League team, and as if we didn’t know that all along.