It is spring in DC. Time for politicians and reporters to gather and reassure us and each that they are kindred souls playing the same game for the same team. For the Radio and TV Correspondents Dinner the kids at JibJab debuted their latest video. Check it out here.
Category: Blog Post
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The Three-Pointer: A Kinder, Gentler Loss
Regular Season Game #71, Road Game #37, Utah 108, Minnesota 102
1. The Curse of the Rolling Roles
The best things you can say about last night’s six-point loss to the division-clinching Utah Jazz are that it removed the Wolves from the stench of their monumental collapse the previous evening, and set them further along the road to keeping their precious draft pick. Otherwise, the differences between the two clubs in terms of teamwork, roles, and substitution rotations were far more glaring than the final margin.Under Jerry Sloan, everyone on the Jazz knows exactly what he should be doing, and why. The club’s starting five is beautifully balanced, with a large, physical, classic point guard in Deron Williams, a low post banger in power forward Carlos Boozer, an energy-oriented disruptor in small forward Kirilenko, an unconventional primary three-point threat in center Mehmet Okur, and a shrewd veteran glue guy cherry-picking his moments in off-guard Derek Fisher.
Now consider the Timberwolves. Let’s face it, there is a vacuum at point guard. Mike James was physically and mentally overmatched against Williams, staying with his “aggressive” mantra to the tune of four shots, zero assists and two fouls in the game’s first 5:37, sending him to the bench with the Wolves down 9-13. By that time, Willaims had already laid down three dimes and gone 1-2 FG. Randy Foye fared a little better, amassing 17 points and 4 assists in a sizable 38:05 that stemmed from James being unable to contain Williams without fouling (at least he tried that instead of the matador of his first three months). But when it was all done, the Wolves’ point guard had 23 points on 22 shots, 4 assists and 3 turnovers. On his own, Williams had 22 points on 9 official shots (he got to the line 14 times, versus 6 for Foye-James), 14 assists and 3 turnovers.
On this ballclub, KG must simultaneously be Kirilenko and Boozer, the banger and the disrupter. And at this point in the season, he’s toast, physically and mentally. Usually he has his way with Boozer, but last night Boozer not only matched his point total (25), but outrebounded (11-8) and outassisted (3-1) KG. When that happens, this team ain’t gonna beat Utah.
Which brings us to Ricky Davis, who must simultaneously be Williams and Fisher–the guy who initiates the offense and the one smart enough to flow to what is needed from the backcourt. Just for “fun,” I thought I’d compare the Wolves’ won-lost records with which players led the squad in points and assists. I’m not totally sure what it means–making definitive conclusions on what really is sort of a random correlation–except that the rolling roles on this squad bring a lot of different players into the mix. Anyway, the charitable way to put it is that Minnesota should rely more on Ricky Davis to carry the load for this squad. The uncharitable way to see it is that the Wolves peform much better on the nights Davis bothers to show up. On the team-high 26 occasions when he has led (or co-led) the team in assists, the Wolves are a gaudy 16-10; every other assist-leader sends the team to a sub-.500 mark. For KG, the margin is close, 9-10. For the point guards, it is not. The Wolves are a collective 7-15 when either James (4-10) or Foye (3-5) lead the squad in assists. They are even worse, 3-9, when small forwards Trenton Hassell (2-7) or Marko Jaric (1-2) are the assist leader.
For points, on the 20 times Davis has led the team, they are exactly .500 at 10-10. For everyone else, not so good. When KG tops them in points, it is 17-24; when anyone other than Davis or KG is the point leader, the team is 3-12.
As I say, making definitive judgments on this stuff is very dicey, if not specious. But it does seem to indicate that the point guards are currently incapable of successfully leading this squad in either shooting or dishing; that they are, at best, complementary pieces to the KG-Ricky Show. As for those top two, one might think their versatility would be an asset, and on a more experienced, better-coached ballclub, perhaps that’s true. But it has not worked out on this club in this season.
2. Blount Trauma
The sad thing about center Mark Blount is that he literally can’t win for trying. Like most Timberwolves observers I’ve been critical of Blount’s absence of intensity and, by extension, integrity, as he has seemingly mailed in his performances since the All Star break, routinely torpedoing Minnesota’s hopes for victory in the process. During the 4th quarter Seattle debacle, Blount sat on the bench frequently sporting a “what me worry?” smirk and exchanging pleasantries with other scrubs like Justin Reed and Troy Hudson, oblivious (or not: it is damning either way) to the carnage taking place on the court.But last night, Blount was hustling his rear off. Not only did he continue showing hard on the pick and roll (his one strength aside from that sweet jumper), but he fought for rebounds with a diligence nearly always in limbo when it comes to Blount and boards. It got to the point where the tables were ironically turned in crunchtime, as Wolves color commentator and fairly steadfast Blount booster Jim Petersen excoriated him for not covering Mehmet Okur on a crucial trey that bumped Utah’s margin from 5 to 8, a crippling difference with just 2:58 to play; while I, a fairly steadfast Blount ripper, protested to the heavens that Blount had shown hard on the perimeter to Deron Williams, who deftly zipped it to Mehmet while no other Timberwolf rotated over. Now, it is quite possible Pete knows the defensive rotation strategies in play for Utah, and that Blount was supposed to stay with Okur rather than hound Williams so far outside. In any case, Utah’s spacing and savvy trumped Blount’s move, and my sense of inner justice when Blount promptly slammed home a feed from Foye at the other end was tempered when Wittman removed Blount from the game after the next possession.
But here’s the thing: popcornmachine.net had Blount getting annihilated at -18 during his 35:31 of action, way ahead of Davis and Hassell as the next worst entries at -8. And this was a game in which Blount’s hustle and demeanor, if nothing else, were beyond criticism.
The popcornmachine.net numbers also clearly indicate, in reiteration of point one in this trey, that when Jerry Sloan had his main guys working his system, the Wolves were buried. The first Minnesota bonus was when a pair of late draft picks, Craig Smith and Paul Milsapp, were matched up with each other and the Cookie Monster went off, eventually finishing with 14 points for the second period on 5-6 FG and 4-4 FT as Minnesota put up a +11 margin. (Outside of the second period, Smith was 1-4 FG, 0-0 FT and -4 in 9:58.) The second eye-opening stat is that Utah was +18 in the 39:22 that Deron Williams was manning the point, and -12 in the 8:38 he wasn’t.3. Tick Tock
The Wolves have slipped behind Sacramento to 12th place in the West, out of the playoffs by 4 games with 11 left to play. Minutes for Rashad McCants: 6:48. There is still a mathematical chance for the Wolves to bag that 8th spot of course, but the odds are steep enough that you have to wonder if Coach Wittman really is invoking a “tanking with vets” strategy. The lineup of McCants-Foye-Smith-KG-Jaric was actually allowed to play the bulk of that second quarter last night, and went +2. If you go to the 82games.com website and click on their 5-man floor units page (here’s the link: http://www.82games.com:80/0607/0607MIN2.HTM), you’ll see that that quintet of the three kids plus KG and Marko is a +39 in just 58 minutes together, a rate 82games extrapolates out to a 10-1 record. Giving that unit more time would certainly maximize the potential talent already on this team, but would be hell on securing that draft pick. -
White Soul, White Blues, Beards, Women, and Race
MUSIC
A Couple of White Folk
The 400 Bar never ceases to amaze me. Somehow their relatively small, dingy and dirty space seems to draw some of the best folk acts in town — and a few more innovative ones at that. Tonight, James Morrison and Jessie Baylin take the stage (not together). British country boy, James Morrison serves up some soul in a way that only white guys do — when they actually have soul and a voice to boot. No, really. I’m not just making fun here. If you dig Dylan’s style (not that I would EVER compare anyone to Dylan), then you’ll probably appreciate Morrison’s peculiar voice (though sweet), clever lyrics, and soulful song (though he definitely leans more toward the love songs). He’s kind of like a Jack Johnson with soul, actually. How can that be bad?
Oh, and Jessie Baylin — she sounds quite lovely to me (and looks lovely, too). A fan of Steve Nicks and Joni Mitchell, and friend to Scarlett Johansson, Baylin’s sweet melodies have a folkified touch of Natasha Bedingfield.9 p.m., 400 Bar, 400 Cedar Ave. S., Minneapolis, 612-332-2903 $12.00.
Listen to James Morrison.
Listen to Jessie Baylin.MUSIC
White Man Sings the Blues
We’ve all heard of Bob Dylan, Tom Waits, even Robert Johnson; and yet the name John Hammond Jr. rings no bells for some. (Tell me you at least remember his father. The man is responsible for discovering Benny Goodman, Count Basie, Billie Holiday, Robert Johnson, Bessie Smith, Bob Dylan, Aretha Franklin, Pete Seeger, and Bruce Springsteen.) While Junior has not enjoyed his father’s commercial success, he has been entertaining us for the over 40 years, earning himself a Grammy Award and releasing over 25 albums. Emerging from the American folk scene of the 60s, Hammond has since been entertaining blues, folk, and rock audiences around the world with his intense solo-acoustic blues. And don’t miss tonight’s opening act — local, fingerstyle guitarist Phil Heywood. It promises to be a soul-grabbing event.7:30 p.m., Cedar Cultural Center, 416 Cedar Ave. S., Minneapolis, 612-338-2674, $16.
Listen to John Hammond Jr.
Listen to Phil Heywood.
Looking for something a little more hardcore? Check out Billy Talent at the 7th Street Entry tonight. The Toronto-based quartet has been lauded as one of the premiere punk acts of the new millennium.5 p.m., all ages, The 7th Street Entry, First Avenue, 701 First Ave. N., Minneapolis, 612-332-1775, $10 advance, $12 door.
COMEDY
What’s So Funny about Facial Hair?
I mean, mustaches I could see laughing at — but beards? Apparently, it’s the people donning them. Tonight some of our finest local writers, improvisers, and comedians will perform their own material in The Bearded Gentlemen comedic showcase. The bearded gentlemen — Mike Fotis, Brian Beatty, Daniel Hetzel, Levi Weinhagen, John Haynes, and Nate Melcher — will each take the stage for 15 minutes of solo comedy. Collectively these writers and actors have performed with the Brave New Workshop, ComedySportz Twin Cities, Ministry of Cultural Warfare, Louie Anderson, and Ferrari McSpeedy. 8 p.m., Brave New Workshop Theatre, 612-332-6620, $10.
THEATER
A Musical Celebration of American Women
If beards just aren’t your thing, maybe a glorification of womanhood is more your style. Tonight is the premiere performance of Suzanna Winter’s Where the Girls Are, brought to you by Blue Umbrella Productions. Using popular music as a vehicle, this musical revue examines the evolution of women’s rights and roles in America. The vast musical repertoire includes such greats as “I Wanna Be Loved by You,” “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend,” “These Boots are Made for Walkin’,” “I Will Survive,” and “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.”7:30 p.m., The Lowry Lab Theater., The Lowry Building across from the St. Paul Hotel, 360 St. Peter Street Saint Paul, 651-646-2943, $15.
Note: Tomorrow’s performance will be ASL interpreted, and the April 7th performance will be Audio described.
LECTURE
A Woman of Substance and Spine
While many of us nestle in our beds dreaming of exotic adventures, there are indeed women in our midst furrowing into the recesses of Conrad’s dark continent . As part of St. Catherine’s Women of Substance Series , Lisa Ling — the first woman host of the award-winning documentary series Explorer from the National Geographic Channel — will be speaking tonight at The O’Shaughnessy . Come hear about this gutsy woman’s travels and adventures from India to the Congo. 7:30 p.m., The O’Shaughnessy, College of St. Catherine, 2004 Randolph Avenue, Saint Paul, 651-690-6700, $32 adults.
Or if you’d rather cut to the chase with something a bit more academic, go hear Kevin Gaines lecture on Confronting History, Race, and Stereotypes. (Lord knows we could all use a little more learning in this arena.) Kevin Gaines is a professor of history and director of The Center for Afroamerican and African Studies at the University of Michigan. He will examine America’s relationship to anti-black racial stereotypes, and the historical connections present in Kara Walker’s work. Plus, if you get to The Walker by 6 p.m., you can take a tour of Paper Trail: A Decade of Acquisitions.7:30 pm, Cinema, Walker Art Center, 1750 Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis, 612-375-7600, Free, but ticket required — available at 6:30 pm at the Bazinet Garden Lobby desk.
SHOPPING
Sprinkle on a Little Latin SparkleSepia — art within accessories — is having their Spring Open House today. Venezuelan-owned Sepia opened in Northeast Minneapolis last Fall, featuring jewelry and accessories designed by Latin American artists. Go be the first to see their spring collections. Drink some wine. Sample the hors d’oeuvre. And make use of the 10-percent discount. Any birthdays or anniversaries coming soon? This might be a good place to find some unique gifts.
4-8 p.m., SEPIA, 201 6th St. SE, Suite 100, Minneapolis, 612-379-0309, 10% off.
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Wrong On So Many Levels
I know it’s all about money, but today’s decision to send Matt Garza to Rochester nonetheless stinks to high hell from a fan’s perspective.
Someone tell me: how exactly is J.D. Durbin worth protecting? The guy is 25 years old and out of options. I say send him packing and if somebody else wants to roll the dice and put him on their roster, well, good luck to them and good luck to J.D. As it is he’ll be around to drag his mop out to the mound every time a game gets out of hand. Silva could have just as easily served that role out of the bullpen, which is exactly where he deserves to be when the Twins kick off the regular season next week.
Anybody want to wager on how long it takes for Garza to make the return trip from Rochester? I’d also be interested in hearing whose place you think he’ll take when he does come back up. My guess is it may not even be Silva’s.
[Update: Ok, so the Twins aren’t keeping J.D. Durbin. Which means what exactly? Chris Heintz, I guess, but I have absolutely no idea at the moment. Somebody clue me in.]
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Why Bother With Local TV News?
Regular commenter, “Jimmy”, is doing the heavy lifting today on the global warming topic so miserably bowdlerized by spin-crazed righties. (My dismissive, elitist position remains: “Let the fools rant on in their private echo chamber. They add nothing to the base of knowledge.”
Earlier though, “Jimmy”, asked only half-facetiously what I was ever doing watching Channel 5’s late news in the first place? (For the record, an Eyewitness News teaser in the middle of “Lost”, promising a Hubbard Broadcasting news organization’s “report” on global climate change, was just too damned irresistible.)
But the topic of the relevance and value of local TV popped up again a day or two later over lunch with another former media columnist. We gather occasionally to condemn all the various bastards, (more every hour, it turns out), and bore waiters with our deep thoughts on the low-brow mayhem we see at every point of the compass. That, and we get to play amateur restaurant reviewers, although my colleague rates as something close to a true gourmet. (Capsule review of the M&S Grill’s calamari — quite good. But the dipping sauce still doesn’t compare with Big Bowl’s. The Reuben though, was juicy and flavorful. … Now you know why I don’t write about food.)
Anyway, amid exchanges of the usual gossip and slander we touched on the likely fate of the 10 pm local news, a “product” neither of us consumes much anymore, mainly because of the absurd concessions broadcasters have made to commercial considerations. It isn’t just the monotony of breathless crime reporting and relentless self-promotion — although that’d be enough to drive any sane person back to print. But in age of so many alternative news sources it is more and more the ridiculous short-hand formulaic 22-minute newscasts apply to almost every type of story, the almost complete lack of analysis given government reporting — beyond which party’s ox is getting gored — and the sheer, numbing corniness of the whole content template.
I mean, don’t you ever watch the local news, here in the Twin Cities or anywhere, and get the eery feeling that you’re locked in 1970s worm hole? A time trap where 30 years haven’t changed the lighting, make-up, story selection, presentation or ambient chatter?
With all the ink and tears being spilled over the gutting of newspapers by their investors, it seems worth taking a look into the near term future of local TV news, particularly at this moment when gizmos like Apple TV have arrived to marry all the news sources on the internet to your television set. (OK, for the moment Apple TV will only play video first downloaded to your computer. But we can agree that is a very short-term limitation.)
“Hyper-localization” is this month’s buzzword among news managers, and TV news, with its satellite trucks able to pump out pictures of yellow-tape wrapped crime scenes faster and better than anyone else probably seem to have a solid lock on the “local news” franchise. But really, folks, tell me there isn’t an audience out there in a city as hip as ours for a lower-tech version oriented to more relevant topics than gang-bang murders and house fires, staffed by smart-asses willing to ask impertinent questions of public officials and flesh a truly relevant story out beyond 45 seconds?
The actual point of departure for this conversation was the internet video work already being done by first-tier newspaper reporters like the New York Times’ David Carr, David Pogue, etc. and the Washington Post’s Dana Milbank. Based strictly on telegenicity none of those gentlemen would get passed the first purge of photo resumes. But in the evolved world of 2007 video-news, (as opposed to the 1970 standard revered by network consultants), they are all natural “performers”, with, obviously, the huge advantage of being able to constantly assert and establish credibility by having three to five minutes to tell an actual story as opposed to silly, ghoulish, dumb-downed headlines.
Point being, the Star Tribune should have gotten hip to this evolution at least five years ago. If new owners Avista want a list of a dozen Star Tribune staffers who would make decent TV reporters they can e-mail me here at The Rake.
Also, for years PBS has danced around a full-scale union with NPR. Now THAT would make astonishing good sense at a point in our history where hoary commercial considerations have led otherwise serious news managers to conclude that the only way to survive is by aping and out bullshitting the likes of Bill O’Reilly and Nancy Grace.
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Chocolate Cake
I just have to talk about chocolate cake for a moment.
I love it, I think about it, I seek it.
Sadly, there are many unfortunate chocolate cake stories out there. Slices that look so promising on a menu can be too rich, too cloying, to flourless.
Density, moistness, simplicity, chocolate-ocity, these are all important factors.
I’ve tried to make fancy recipes at home, from Masters of Chocolate like Michael Recchiuti but it always seems like a lot of work for nothing special.
I might have found a winner. In an effort to make a special cake for my friend Matt Fennacy’s birthday, on St. Patty’s Day, I found this recipe for chocolate stout cake. Come on, chocolate cake and beer? Hoooray.
I made some changes (halved the recipe, used a little more Guinness, a little less sugar, threw in some cinnamon and cardamom)and baked it in a bundt pan. It was dense without being leaden. It was moist without being sticky. It was chocolatey without the icky sicky over-sweetness. I think it was the stout that kept the tart in balance, that allowed the dark richness of the chocolate to stand.
No icing needed, just a wallop of fresh whipped cream (or maybe mascarpone sweetened with a bit of dark rum).
Best part: because I used beer, the kids gave me a BLECH face and left it alone. More for me.
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Writers in the Mix
FILM
Yes, We Make Movies Here
Not really sure what people are referring to when they speak of the local film community? See for yourself at tonight’s March 2007 Fearless Filmmakers Screening Event. Get a little taste for what local and regional filmmakers have been producing. Experience a young family’s journey to euthanasia, personal fulfillment at the end of a cake, a modern-day Noah, college-educated pistol banter, the panty-clad gal horror cliche, a baby-sitting nightmare with a comedic twist, a shy office-worker spreading God’s love, a friendly exchange, and a re-definition of wingman — all in one sitting.7:30 p.m., The Oak Street Cinema, 309 Oak Street SE, Minneapolis, 612-331-3134, $9 general admission, $7 students, $5 MN Film Arts members.
Then join the After Party at Stub and Herbs, 227 Oak Street, Minneapolis.
FILM LECTURE
Who Doesn’t Love a Good Spy Movie?
Ever wonder what makes a good spy movie? Why Hollywood is obsessed with the CIA? What the CIA’s relationship is to Hollywood? William Mitchell College of Law is presenting a free program tonight, “A Strange Bond: The CIA and The Cinema.” Guest speakers include Mark Bowden, Atlantic Monthly reporter and author of Black Hawk Down; Star Tribune movie critic and Rake contributor Colin Colvert; and former CIA William Daugherty and Paul Kelbaugh. How can this not be interesting?7-8:30 p.m., Auditorium, William Mitchell College of Law, 875 Summit Avenue, Saint Paul, 651-290-6400, Free. Register here.
THEATER
Sing the Beloved Aria
Looking to restore your faith in brotherhood and compassion? Maybe tonight is the night for you to go see the Skylark Opera’s performance of Lost in the Stars. Based on Cry, the Beloved Country, Alan Paton’s angry 1948 novel about apartheid in South Africa, this adaptation was penned by Maxwell Anderson and composed Kurt Weill — better known for his collaborations with poet and epic dramatist Bertolt Brecht. The jazzy opus has a largely black cast and is rooted in African-American music. Go see it tonight, Friday or Saturday night, or Sunday at 3.8 p.m., Ritz Theater, 345 13th Ave NE, Minneapolis, 651-209-6689, $20 – $50.
MUSIC
21st-Century Singer-Songwriters
This year, VH1 launched its first-ever You Oughta Know Tour in an effort to introduce artists on the rise to their adult music-lover base. I think that’s us. And to be honest, they’ve put together a rather solid line-up: Mat Kearney, The Feeling, and Rocco Deluca and The Burden. Acoustic folk/pop, singer-songwriter Mat Kearney serves up music with an acoustic base and hints of spoken word and even rap. Although he’s often associated with the Christian music scene, this 28-year-old has opened for The Fray, Sheryl Crow, and John Mayer. Also playing is U.K. band The Feeling. With two Top 10 international hit singles — “Sewn” and “Fill My Little World” — The Feeling offers a broad range of music for fans lamenting the golden age of Top 40 radio. They’re like My Chemical Romance with cheesier, prettier harmonies. (My Chemical Romance meets The Beatles?) And last, but definitely not least, Rocco DeLuca offers a fresh sound with a Dobro steel guitar and elements of Appalachian and Blues influences. DeLuca and The Burden are the first group to sign with Jude Cole and Kiefer Sutherland’s independent record label, Ironworks Music. Rolling Stone recently wrote, “The echoes of Neil Young, Robert Plant, Jeff Buckley and Pearl Jam blend into something unique, especially when performed live … the group packs the heat and rocks aggression to work its way into your head and stay there.” 7 p.m., First Avenue, 701 First Avenue North, Minneapolis, 612-332-1775, $18.00 advance, $20.00 door.
Listen to Mat Kearney.
Listen to The Feeling.
Listen to Rocco DeLuca and The Burden.MUSIC
Urban Crooning
True, Lloyd got his start with teen pop group N-Toon — put together by Klymaxx’s Joyce Irby — but he’s a whopping 21 years old now, and far more mature. OK, not that much, but he did acquire a few adult influences. Adding a little touch of Marvin Gaye and R. Kelley, Lloyd finally made his claim to fame, topping the BET playlist with a sultry duet with Beyonce-wannabe Ashanti. And now, well… it’s up to you to say.9 p.m., Escape Ultra Lounge, 600 Hennepin Avenue Suite 200, Minneapolis, 612-333-8855, $25-$45.
READINGS
USPS: United States Postal Stories
It’s not often that a mailman writes a book about his mail-delivery adventures. But this is exactly what Vincent Wyckoff has done in Beware of Cat: And Other Encounters of a Letter Carrier. After 15 years as a letter carrier in South Minneapolis, walking the same route each day, Wyckoff has compiled his stories into a community portrait of sorts. 7 p.m., Barnes and Noble Roseville II, 2100 Snelling Ave N, Saint Paul, 651-639-9256, Free.
READINGS
Eclectic, Learned, and Wise
Looking for something more grandiloquent? Go see Leslie Adrienne Miller read some poetry from her new book, The Resurrection Trade. A marriage of science and poetry reminiscent of the metaphysical poets — Miller’s poetry speaks to 18th-century medicine and the mystery of the female body. Former US Poet Laureate Ted Kooser wrote that, “For me The Resurrection Trade is very much like being given a rare chance to have dinner with one of the most interesting conversationalists in the world. These poems are delightfully eclectic, learned and wise, and it is a privilege to have this fine book as guest in the house.”7 p.m., The Loft, 1011 Washington Ave S, Minneapolis, 612-215-2576, Free.
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Not An Avenger, Not A Thief

Time is a sputtering lantern, a bruised child, a gray, flat-faced man with fists of concrete and legs like pistons. He has it in for dogs, which is one of his many cruel and inexplicable character traits.
Misunderstood and misrepresented throughout history, gussied up and dumbed down, the snaggle-toothed bastard is frequently outfitted with wings he’d never wear let alone learn to use. He merely smirks at clocks and every other so-called timepiece man has ever devised –foolish abstractions, he’d tell you if ever he deigned to speak, wholly inadequate and far too orderly to ever approximate the real thing.
He is a stutterer, a creature of fits and starts and the long pauses of an unorthodox and not entirely competent chess player. He doesn’t have a rational bone in his body, nor could he be said to have ever had a thoughtful moment. No, he’s as impulsive and reckless and irrational as the day he was born in a maelstrom.
He’s a cold, plodding motherfucker, methodically unpredictable, a mess maker, back breaker, teeth kicker, heart wrecker. A connoisseur of ruins and a ruthless collector of forgotten debts.
He doesn’t heal. He doesn’t mend. He doesn’t forgive. He doesn’t forget. He doesn’t fly. He doesn’t tell. He’s got it in for dogs.
It’s been said that he wiggled out from under the thumb of God centuries ago and has been a lone wolf ever since.
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The Three-Pointer: Historic Collapse
Game # 70, Home Game #34, Seattle 114, Minnesota 106
1. Parade of Goats
At this point, you really do just have to shake your head and laugh, don’t you? Up 88-63 with 5:56 left in the third quarter, the Wolves caved and crumbled like never before in their history, scoring just 18 points in the final 18 minutes while allowing 51 to get buried 106-114 to a putrid Seattle squad without Ray Allen, a team that vanquished the Wolves by 3 on Friday and then lost to San Antonio by 41 on Sunday.
This is one diseased ballclub, folks. This is a team that just walloped the Sonics for 71 points in the first half, shooting 60 percent from the field and from the trey while racking up 21 assists on their 27 baskets versus just 5 turnovers. Midway through the third, the assist/turnover ration had swelled to 26/6 and the 19 point lead bumped to 25. After that? Three assists, 10 turnovers. Sclerotic defense at the other end. The worst aspects of panic and apathy, mixed together into a toxic combo of willful selfish ignorance about the right way to play the game of basketball. Ladies and gents, your parade of goats…
Kevin Garnett. Three dimes in the first 1:49, five in the first quarter, eight for the half. Two rebounds and an assist away from a triple double at the end of 3. Then a 4th quarter of exerting leadership right into the dumpster, an inept and ill-advised performance. He wasn’t tired, going only 17:20 in the first half as coach Wittman rested him with a big lead and Utah on the road tomorrow night in the second half of a back to back. He had a decent sit from 2:59 to go in the third to 10:29 to go in the 4th, during which time the Wolves lead was only whittled from 18 to 14.
But in the last five minutes–crunchtime–the Big Ticket was a torn stub. He missed the second of two free throws, holding the lead at 10. Then he traveled. Then he threw a pass that Randy Foye had to use all his hops to snag standing at the baseline (before Foye himself turned it over on a pass back to the cutting but covered KG). Then he missed a 20-foot jumper instead of trying to draw contact. Then he threw the ball way over the point guard’s head for a backcourt violation, on a basic pass to the top of the key that he executes successfully a dozen times a game. Then he fouls Wilcox driving baseline on a three-point play. Then he misses an easy, open jumper. This is all within 5 minutes.
Randy Foye. Two assists and zero turnovers after three quarters of action (12:00 overall), then one assists and four huge turnovers–at least three of them, silly, unforced passing errors–and three fouls in 9:14 of play in the 4th. No poise. No court vision. Shoddy defense, continually pulled on a string via jumpers and penetration from backup point guard Mike Wilks, the co-MVP of the game with Rashard Lewis, who also roasted Mike James, who played like a less assertive version of Foye, which in this case lessened the damage.
Trenton Hassell. Rashard Lewis started to get hot so Wittman went small, putting in Hassell for Smith with Minnesota up 10 with 5:19 to play. It is the job of Hassell, the team’s defensive stopper, to stop Lewis. Nope. Lewis proceeds to score 12 points in the last 5:19, capping off a 21 point 4th quarter that included nine trips to the free throw line. For the game he had 35, and was 16-17 FT.
Ricky Davis. The only guy with a pulse in the 4th quarter, he helped keep the lead at 15 for nearly half the period with two nifty assists and other nice ball movement. But his showboating in the third–a behind the back pass in traffic on the fast break when the Wolves were up big–sent a message that the squad erronously figured it had the game won (this after choking up a sizable lead to this same team four days ago) and was ready to screw around. There was also a few missed shots, a missed free throw, and a costly turnover in the 4th. And his second half defense on little Earl Watson was abysmal.
Randy Wittman. Many timeouts during the collapse, and many substitutions. No response from his team. He may as well have drawn straws for a player rotation and diagrammed plays in invisible ink on his chalkboard during that 4th quarter.
Dishonorable mentions to Smilin’ Mark Blount crossing guard allowing little men into the painted area and a man who enjoys a good internal joke on the bench while his teammates are vomiting up a 25-point margin.
2. Verbatim
Randy Wittman: “It has been the same thing all year; we play the right way for three quarters and then we stop. They trap and we don’t swing it. We try a behind-the-back pass in traffic and they get a layup and suddenly a 20-point lead is an 18-point lead and it begins. They [his players] don’t respect the game and don’t respect the opponent.” During timeouts in the huddle “we didn’t have anybody wanting to step up. When it got tight, they were hoping the clock would run out. This isn’t the first time it has happened this year. We don’t have the mix of guys who want to put their foot on their [opponent’s] necks. They don’t move the ball or make the easy pass with a guy open standing right next to you. For three quarters we didn’t care who shot the ball or made the points.”
Kevin Garnett: “I told everybody when I came in [the locker room after the game] that I felt like it was my fault…I’m very good at dissecting things, figuring out how we take teams apart. I didn’t initiate and do those things and that bothers me…[In the huddles] Ricky kept saying ‘Let’s pick it up! Let’s pick it up!’ but we didn’t have the same people in the game. They had a small lineup in and we didn’t take advantage of it. We stopped playing as a team.”
Media question: “This 25 point lead was the biggest one blown in franchise history. Can you put that in perspective?”
Garnett: “No I can’t. That’s fucked up. That’s fucked up.”3. Tick Tock
With tonight’s loss, the Wolves are 4 full games behind the Clippers with 12 left to play. If they go 10-2, say, losing only to Dallas and San Antonio while beating the likes of Utah, Golden State and Denver on the road and Miami, Cleveland, and Toronto (Sam Mitchell is undefeated vs. Minnesota) at home, the Clips would only have to split their dozen games to tie at 40-42–and that’s assuming the other three squads ahead of or tied with the Wolves (Golden State, New Orleans and Sacramento) don’t rally.
Playing time for Rashad McCants: 10:09. For Craig Smith: 21:14. For Randy Foye: 24:48.
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"News War" Finale Tonight
A programming note to the media-wise. PBS’ “Frontline/World” concludes its series on the post 9/11 media with a segment on Al Jazeera and the role it plays in shaping opinion in the Middle East. (9 p.m. TPT 2). Here in the US, where Congressional neandertals made a patriotic show of re-naming French fries, we continue to have almost no idea of how we are portrayed in the popular press in a region where we’ve dumped a half trillion dollars and 3200 of our soldiers’ lives. Ignorance is bliss, I guess.
You don’t have to buy Al Jazeera’s act. But considering how so much of American news is packaged to “appeal” to viewers, and/or avoid outraging them, it’d be valuable to be able to check in on how we’re faring with street level consumers on the other side of the great cultural divide.