Category: Blog Post

  • The Onion Goes Video: Scary

    With so much of the so-called mainstream electronic news media engaged in a bizarre process of self-marginalization, it comes as no great surprise — but genuine delight – that The Onion has decided to get into the 24-hour “fake news” business. Describing itself as, “faster, harder, scarier and all-knowing”, (“Scarier” than what? Fox News? Impossible!)

    Actually, the news service declares itself a rival to CNN and MSNBC. “Those are parody shows,” Onion prez, Sean Mills, told Variety. “This is serious news.”

    Given the rather startling number of cronies of mine — go ahead, consider the source — who have thrown up their hands at the timidity and target-demo driven silliness of the 10 pm local news and made a habit of “The Daily Show” instead, The Onion News Network, (ONN), available now at Theonion.com, commences business with a nice built-in audience.

  • Yucks, Butts, Trills, and Game

    COMEDY
    Stand-up Stand-off

    2277053418.jpgLast Comic Standing is coming back for a 5th season, and Minneapolis has been chosen as one of the five national audition cities. (That’s right; this season is going international, so Australia, Canada, and England will also host auditions.) Auditions start at 9 a.m., but those of us less-funny people can watch the finals later that night — after the line-up has been a bit distilled.

    8 p.m., Acme Comedy Company, Historic Itasca Building, 708 1st St N, Minneapolis, 612-338-6393, $15, $27 dinner and show package.

    LECTURE
    The Gay Publishing Elite

    BUTT-13-cover.jpgCall them elegant, slick, pornographic, and even pretentious, but Jop van Bennekom’s magazines are just plain great to look at. Influenced by English music magazines, as well as Peter Saville’s designs for Joy Division and New Order back in the 80s, Jop van Bennekom is now designer, editor, and publisher for three different magazines — RE-, Butt, and Fantastic Man — and has become one of Europe’s most influential magazine designers at only thirty-six years of age. That’s right, there might be hope for some of us yet. Come hear him talk about his work tonight at the Walker. Get inspired.

    7:00 pm, Walker Cinema, Walker Art Center, 1750 Hennepin Ave., Minneapolis, 612.375.7600, $24 ($12 AIGA/Walker members/students).

    MUSIC
    Don’t Overlook the Obvious

    It’s nice to be reminded, now and then, that Minneapolis still has an impressive local music scene on all fronts. You don’t have to sit around and wait for the next great jazz band to swing into town. Tonight at the Fine Line our very own Sol Spectre will be playing with The Higgle and Histrionic. Looking for a nice relaxing evening of improvisational jazz? They’re solid. They’re pleasant. They’ll get your head bobbing with a variety of jazz fusion, eclectic rock, experimental improvisation, and even a dose of electronica to spice things up.

    8 p.m., Fine Line Music Cafe, 318 1st Ave N, Minneapolis, 612-338-8100.

    Listen to Sol Spectre

    MUSIC
    Rock from Down Under

    SickPup2.jpgDid any of you see the “Free Hugs” video on YouTube last year? If so, then you’ve heard The Sick Puppies. The band’s song “All The Same” provided the soundtrack to the popular YouTube video and earned them exposure on Oprah, Jay Leno, 60 Minutes, and CNN. Influenced by Green Day and Rage Against The Machine, The Sick Puppies are a three-piece, guitar-fueled-rock band. They have garnered a number prestigious awards, including Best Song from Triple J Unearthed, and Best Live Performance from the Australian Live Music Awards. They have toured with Good Charlotte, Deep Purple, and Midnight Oil. The Australian edition of Rolling Stone called them “the most dynamic new band in the country.” And to be honest, they don’t sound anything like sick puppies.

    6 p.m., 7th Street Entry, 701 1st Ave N, Minneapolis, 612-332-1775, $6.

    Listen to The Sick Puppies

    SPORTS
    Will the Real Minnesota Sport Please Stand Up

    timberwolves.jpgAfter their 82-85 loss to the Seattle Sonics last week, let’s hope the Timberwolves feel inclined to prove themselves against the Sonics’ seemingly solidified defense. Tonight’s rematch might seem like a worthless game in the general NBA arena, but the Timberwolves still have a chance at the final playoff spot in the Western Conference, so go cheer them on. In the end, it’s a win either way, as they still have a chance at retaining their status as one of the NBA’s 10 worst.

    7 p.m., Target Center, 600 1st Ave N., Minneapolis, 612-673-0900, $10-$700.

    Read Britt Robson’s Timberwolves Blog: On the Ball

    Wild.jpgI realize that everyone is distracted with basketball and baseball, but what ever happened to Minnesota hockey? Did it fade away with the cold Minnesota winters? Don’t let El Nino deprive you of your heritage. Get out there and support the Minnesota Wild against the Calgary Flames tonight. (And if you’re wondering why the bottom-price tickets cost more than the bottom-price basketball tickets, remember, they have to keep that ice frozen.)

    7 p.m., Xcel Energy Center, 175 W Kellogg Blvd., Saint Paul, 651-989-5151, $16 to $250.

    Sportsshows.gifWe all know that the true Minnesota sports don’t take place in arenas or rinks. They occur in the wild, on the lake, and in the woods. And this wouldn’t be a true Minnesota publication if we failed to mention The Northwest Sportshow, starting today in our lovely Convention Center. (Did you forget what that big building complex over on 2nd and 13th was?) Come check out the best in boats, RV’s, fishing tackle, hunting gear, trips, and more. There are also plenty of activities for kids. Yeah, you’ve got until Sunday to get there, but tonight only, the first 500 attendees will receive a 75th Anniversary commemorative bobber. How’s that for incentive!

    5 p.m. to 9 p.m., Minneapolis Convention Center, 1301 2nd Ave S., Minneapolis, 612-335-6000, adults $10, youth (13-15) $5, and children (12 and under) free.

    DANCE
    Heat It Up

    Did you think you were going to have an opportunity to see some great ballet or flamenco this evening? Think again. Rather than sitting around watching, it’s time to get that rear end off the chair and oil those hinges a bit. Learn how to Tango, baby. It’s a little pricey, but don’t worry, your greatly honed skills will not go to waste. If you manage to master a few moves, you can go show them off on Sunday night at the Loring Pasta Bar.

    4 p.m. – 7:30 p.m., The Whole, Coffman Memorial Union, 300 Washington Ave. S.E., Minneapolis, 612-624-6224, $28.00 for U of M Students/Staff/Faculty, $48.00 for general public.

  • That's My (Fat) Boy

    Damn, I love Sidney Ponson.

    I’ve always been a fan of the big man, and nobody was happier than I was to see the Twins swoop in and snag one of the huge Hot Stove League bargains, but after today’s stellar start (and –yeah, yeah– the Real Deal had to come in and blow up Souffle Sid’s masterpiece) I’m guessing that Jim Leyland is going to have a tough time choosing between Santana and Ponson when it comes time to name his All Star Game starter.

    I say Sid is a lock –a freaking lock, I’m telling you– to win 18 games. Minimum.

  • Greenwald Rips the Chris Matthews Gang.

    I’m a fan of Glenn Greenwald, whose blog is now over at Salon.com. Although perhaps not terse and punchy enough for most attention spans, the guy has a sharp, discerning mind.

    And boy is he upset today. The clip he includes of Chris Matthews, a relentless TV presence capable of reducing any topic to the ying and yang of Democrats vs. Republicans — (after all, adversarial confrontations drive cable talk and ratings) — is at first glance utterly routine. It is the same kind of clubby chatter we’ve all watched a thousand times. Which is why Greenwald’s dissection of it is so spot on.

    One of my beefs with the mindset of “objective” reporting is that I’m so often left wondering if anything really matters to those who practice it, and where fundamental truth rates in the criteria of a good story. Is everything really reduced to someone’s horse race? Liberals vs. conservatives? NBC vs. ABC? New York Times vs. Washington Post?

  • Paul Douglas. The exception that proves the rule.

    Commenter Dave disagrees with my view of KSTP’s global warming reporting. He notes that …

    “WCCO has had the exact opposite stance on global warming. They have jumped in and rarely show the other opinion. I’ve never seen you mention that. WCCO also has Paul Douglas, the man who proudly announced he purchased a Hybrid car a few months ago. Problem is that Paul had been driving a VW Tourag (horrible on gas) and owns a small mansion on Bearpath. Paul seems to believe the sky is falling, just not around his house.”

    On one point Dave is right. I should have mentioned Douglas in my previous screed. If only to compliment him. While virtually all of his Twin Cities meteorological colleagues either mince around the topic — the usual deflective chatter is on the order of, “Oh, that’s just all politics …” — or they dismiss it to avoid catching flak from upper management.

    To his enormous credit, Douglas has been explicit in his concurrence with the best available science. (For better or for worse, TV weather people are the most recognizable “science types” a lot of people ever see.)

    Let me put a point on this. If you are a TV weatherman/lady it takes no courage at all to avoid the topic of global warming, or to dismiss it. Quite the contrary. All you are doing is avoiding conflict, which if you are in the business of delivering straight information, comes with the territory. Oh, you might occasionally hear from a critic if you’re flagrant about dismissing global warming, but the public reaction is NOTHING like what you get if take Douglas’s far more professionally responsible stance and say, out loud and often, “This real, right now.”

    Then watch the wingnuts light up the e-mail and phone lines.

  • Jazz, Punk, 60s, and Sci-Fi

    MUSIC
    Jazz Fusion Virtuosos

    VitalInformation.jpgThere is something to be said for the casual air with which a seasoned group of already-accomplished musicians can address their art. Without the need for commercial success (which they have already attained), they can simply play out of love for the art. Seldom is this so apparent as with Steve Smith and Vital Information. Now in their 24th year, the group has become a jazz-fusion giant — albeit an underrated one.

    The group’s founder and drummer, Steve Smith, has played with such greats as Ahmad Jamal, Zakir Hussain, Steps Ahead, Andrea Bocelli, Savage Garden, and even Journey. Yes, this is true — that’s probably why you’ve heard his name — but don’t let that dissuade you. He won Modern Drummer Magazine’s #1 All Around Drummer award five years in a row and was voted one of the Top 25 Drummers of All Time in a recent Modern Drummer readers’ poll.

    And the incredible line-up doesn’t stop there. Accompanying Steve Smith are guitarist Frank Gambale (Chick Corea Elektric Band), keyboardist Tom Coster (Santana), and bassist Baron Browne (Jean-Luc Ponty/Billy Cobham). These virtuosos transcend bands like Weather Report with their wide array of rhythms and styles and their Indian and European influences. If you like fusion or electric jazz, this show is a must see.

    7 p.m. and 9 p.m. today and tomorrow, Dakota Jazz Club and Restaurant, 1010 Nicollet, Minneapolis, 612-332-1010, $30 and $20.

    Listen to Steve Smith and Vital Information

    MUSIC
    Melody-Tinged Hardcore

    Looking for something a little harder? A couple decades ago, some of us were out there doing stage dives and slam dancing to the best of 80’s punk rock, and while the trend died down a bit after a few backs breaking on bottles, it is alive and well today. Want to give it another try? Two hardcore punk bands — It Dies Today (actually I.T. — information technology — Dies Today) from Buffalo, NY, and Canada’s own Comeback Kid — are headlining at Station 4 tonight. While neither of these bands is actually doing anything groundbreaking, per se, they certainly execute their genre flawlessly. Besides, you have to give It Dies Today kudos for their epic CD titles based on Dante’s Divine Comedy and Homer’s Odyssey.

    5 p.m., Station 4, 201 East 4th Street, Saint Paul, 651-298-0173, $12-$14.

    Listen to It Dies Today
    Listen to Comeback Kid

    THEATER
    Choose Your Own Adventure in Mating

    adventures.gifTonight may be your last chance to experience the long-acclaimed Adventures In Mating, with Joseph Scrimshaw, Craig Johnson, and Alayne Hopkins. (OK. Let’s be honest here. Chances are there’ll be yet another run sometime in the near future, but today is the final show for a while at least.) Tired of the typical passive theater offering? This interactive romantic comedy might be just what you need. Play the hand of fate on Miranda and Jeremy’s first date. Their narrative contains about 60 different junctures at which you, the audience, determine the next course of action. Will they have red white or white wine? Will she slap him or kiss him? You decide.

    8 p.m. (7 p.m. doors), Bryant-Lake Bowl Cabaret Theater, 810 West Lake Street, Minneapolis, 612-825-8949, $12/$10 with a Fringe button or for groups 10 or more.

    READINGS
    Music in the Summer of Love

    Boyd.jpgMuddy Waters, Coleman Hawkins, Stan Getz, Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, Pink Floyd, Nick Drake, REM, 10,000 Maniacs, Billy Bragg, Cubanismo, Taj Mahal — these are only a few of the big names that producer Joe Boyd worked with throughout his stellar career. Tonight only, you can hear him read from his autobiography, White Bicycles: Making Music in the 1960s. According to Michael Faber of The Guardian, White Bicycles “captures evanescent history with remarkable clarity (and) has enough of a grasp of larger issues — historical, philosophical, psychological — to be of interest to readers unfamiliar with the records Boyd produced.”

    7:30 p.m., The Cedar Cultural Center, 416 Cedar Ave. South, Minneapolis, 612-338-2674, $10.

    READINGS
    A Fantastical Twist

    Not big on autobiographies? Head for the other extreme, and take fiction into the realm of fantasy with local science-fiction writers Hillary Moon Murphy and Jaye Lawrence. As part of Speculations Readings Series, Eric Heideman will be hosting a reading with the two nationally acclaimed authors. Murphy has had stories published in Realms of Fantasy, Tales of the Unanticipated, and New Voices of Science Fiction. She is a member of the writing group Pengames and coordinator of the Twin Cities Speculative Fiction Writers Network, the largest and most active SF writer meet-up in the world. Lawrence’s fiction has appeared in Fantasy & Science Fiction, Minnesota Monthly, and Great River Review. Her story “Kissing Frogs” was a shortlist selection for the 2004 James Tiptree Jr. Award. More recently, she was named as a runner-up for the 2006 Tamarack Award for her story “Aim.”

    6:30 p.m., DreamHaven Books, 912 W Lake St, Minneapolis, 612-823-6161.

    ART
    Stories of Migration

    This is your last week to see Unfolding Time: Stories of Migration, a joint exhibit of work by artists Beth Grossman and Alexandra Rozenman. Unfolding Time capture the experiences of immigrants from Russia over a hundred years. While at first, Grossman’s work seems to be nothing more than painted images and text on everyday objects, a full exploration of these images reveals a deeper re-contextualization of stories and re-interpretation of history. Rozenman’s work, while still narrative in form, is far lighter, with a folksy child-like quality. Her brightly colored, fairytale style is reminiscent of Marc Chagall.

    And if you like Beth Grossman’s work you can pop on over to the Smith Gallery of Jewish Arts and Culture at The Minneapolis Institute of Arts later this week to see her other exhibit, Our Mother Mary Found — which runs through April. Our Mother Mary Found re-contextualizes the story of Mary by conveying a more pragmatic reality of a woman whose daily labor as a mother and a faithful Jew gave birth to a prophet and nurtured a revolutionary.

    7:30 a.m. to 8:30 p.m., Tychman Shapiro Gallery, Sabes Jewish Community Center, Jay & Rose Phillips Building, 4330 South Cedar Lake Road, Minneapolis, 952-381-3400.

  • Joe Boyd

    Hallelujah; it’s Monday and there’s actually something of interest going on, I mean, aside from the 70-degree weather. Straight outta our March So Little Time section (I wrote this little ditty–it was a while back now–and don’t want to reinvent the wheel): Joe Boyd had his fingers in all sorts of music-history pies. While still in his early twenties and freshly graduated from Harvard, he served as Muddy Waters’ tour manager. Then, when Dylan went electric at the Newport Folk Festival in 1963, it was a young Boyd who performed the fateful (and, some would claim, sacrilegious) task of plugging in the guitar. He later went on to produce records for, among others, Nick Drake, Eric Clapton, Pink Floyd, REM, 10,000 Maniacs, and Billy Bragg. He even produced soundtracks for films–most notably, for A Clockwork Orange. But it was the 1960s folk scene that left the deepest impression on Boyd’s character. In his recently released autobiography, White Bicycles: Making Music in the 1960s, Boyd not only captures his own experiences, but also paints portraits of many of the other key players of the era and ponders the consequences of white folks’ appropriation of black people’s music. 416 Cedar Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-338-2674; www.thecedar.org

  • I've Stayed In Worse Places

    bathmat.jpg

    I can tell you from unfortunate personal experience the sort of thing you can expect if you allow yourself to fall under the spell of a poison toad. It’s not good, that’s for damn sure.

    You’d think, I suppose, that any reasonably intelligent person would know enough to steer clear of a poison toad that showed up on his doorstep at midnight, particularly when said toad was wearing an ill-fitting top hat, speaking perfect English, and toting what it claimed was a magic lantern.

    I’ll admit, though, that I’d had a few belts and was feeling no pain. And the odd thing was that when I opened the door and saw this creature on my front porch I never for a minute doubted my eyes. And I knew for damn sure that a toad wearing a top hat was likely to have something to say. This fellow certainly didn’t disappoint on that count.

    Oh, Lord, he had plenty to say, and I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. He was a real smooth operator, a first-rate song-and-dance man. He’d also clearly had his eye on me or done some background research, because he seemed to understand that I was lonesome and dealing with a good deal of personal darkness.

    The toad offered to trade me his magic lantern for a head of lettuce and a saucer of Scotch. This seemed at the time like a reasonable bargain, but there was hitch: I had to kiss the toad before he would hand over the magic lantern.

    A lonely and intoxicated man, you’ll surely understand, will do all manner of foolish things for a magic lantern, and so I gave the toad his saucer of Scotch and the lettuce –we had to compromise a bit; I buy my lettuce by the bag– and then I did as he requested and got down on my hands and knees and kissed him on the mouth.

    At which point the magic lantern, which had been sitting there on my welcome mat, was immediately extinguished and I found myself transformed into a toad and perched on a log at the edge of a dark bog.

    I hopped that night until I was exhausted, and when I finally arrived at the edge of my driveway I could see that what I assumed was the poison toad, looking like a much happier and healthier version of myself (he was shirtless, for one thing, and in better physical shape than I’d ever been), was hosting a raging party in my house.

  • Abbreviated Three-Pointer: Last Second Victory

    Game #69, Home Game #33: Minnesota 94, Portland 93

    1. Two Cheers For Wittman, Davis and James

    I originally wasn’t going to post after the Portland game, if only because I usually only go once on the weekend when the online traffic is down and already posted yesterday after Friday’s loss. But the Wolves pulled out a win in the last second against Portland this afternoon and some of my favorite targets of late did well for themselves. Specifically, I’ve ripped coach Randy Wittman, Ricky Davis and Mike James to varying degrees over the past month of two–and still regard them heavily responsible for the team’s disappointing season–and have been particularly scornful during the recently concluded five game road trip. So, silence after a rare win didn’t seem quite fair.

    I really started sharpening my fangs when Wittman replaced Rashad McCants with Mike James alongside Randy Foye in the backcourt with 5:04 to play and the Wolves down 80-82. The Trailblazers had a big lineup in the game and on Portland’s first possession after the substitution, James was on soon-to-be Rookie of the Year Brandon Roy. As soon as Roy received a pass, Minnesota went into scramble mode and Zach Randolph eventually was fouled to save a slam dunk. The next time down, Martell Webster nailed a trey. Then Randolph tipped in a miss. Blount and KG were pressuring the perimeter to help out the small backcourt, opening up the inside. When they didn’t help, Portland had open looks. I expected a substitution adjustment.

    But Wittman stuck with it, and Ricky Davis began playing some monster defense on Roy, compelling two turnovers in the last two minutes, one occurring when he forced a jump ball with Zach Randolph and then won the jump with a perfectly timed leap on the toss. This was in addition to Davis’s eight assists, including one beautiful stretch early in the third period when Pretty Ricky fed James for a 19-footer on on possession, Blount for a 20-footer on the next, and KG for a finger roll on the next–3 dimes in 65 seconds, taking the Wolves from one down to three up.

    “Ricky was huge,” Wittman said after the game. “Forget about his offense–his defense ignited us. At 89-84 [the Wolves down five], he started us getting us back into it, which obviously he can do.” Then Wittman addressed the little backcourt. “I decided to go small because I liked Randy and Mike giving us more pressure.” When it was pointed out that Randy Foye went off in the 4th quarter once again with a series of beautiful drives right up the gut of the defense, Wittman pointed out that the plan was to spread the floor, putting James on one corner baseline and Davis on the other so that Foye had room to penetrate in the middle or dish it to a three-point threat. And he was right–James and Davis were worthy decoys if that’s what Portland chose to cover, and decent threats to hit the big one if they didn’t. So, nice work all around.

    2. KG Saves the Day He Almost Lost
    It was a beautiful turnaround jumper by Kevin Garnett at the buzzer which won the game by a single point, and that’s probably what is being shown on the television highlights tonight. But Garnett’s traveling violation when he didn’t anticipate Roy come down to double on him with 20 second left and the Wolves up 1, and then his (and Blount’s) inability to keep Lamarcus Aldridge off the boards for a tip-in that gave Portland the lead had Garnett pencilled in as the goat of the game without that sweet swish at the end.

    I’ve been reluctant to criticize Garnett for not going to the hole over the years (and months, and days), because he has done it more than his reputation would indicate, because even though he is 7-1 and the best rebounder in the NBA over the past 5 years, he is not a paint-oriented warrior, and because it feels like nit-picking compared to all the marvelous things he does do. But the last two games have seen KG especially reticent about going hard to the hoop and drawing fouls. As I mentioned in the Seattle trey, he was almost always double and triple teamed versus the Sonics and still only got to the line once. Today, he tried three finger rolls, the sort of pastry moves that don’t earn you the respect of officials even if you do get wacked a little. Yes he was 10-19 FG, but only got the line 4 times, had but 9 rebounds (a rare non-double-double) and four turnovers. Getting just two calls on the rook Aldridge in 29:15 seems a wasted opportunity.

    3. Foye versus Roy

    I know there is quite a pitched battle going on in some internet hoops circles about the whole Foye-Roy switcheroo the Wolves pulled on draft day, with many claiming that Roy’s wonderful year coupled with Foye’s inability to immediately grab the point position and make it his own indicates that Minnesota made a mistake and should have kept Roy all along. Color me brightly ambivalent. I’ve been very impressed with Foye most of this season, and likewise really have enjoyed Roy’s game the three of four times I caught him on television. But live, Roy is even better, a tough sonavagun (ditto Foye), simultaneously unselfish and with a nose for the hoop. The Wolves obviously spent a lot of their pregame planning figuring out how to stop him, and frequently displayed a zone with KG at the top of the key to disrupt his playmaking. When it was over, Roy had 22 hard-earned points (9-14 FG), 5 boards and 2 assists in a team-high 35:56, with the two crunchtime turnovers the major blot on his line. (One occurred when Davis and Blount mugged him on a pick and roll that got a no-call from the refs.) Foye had 17 points (7-10 FG, 1 rebound and three assists) in 23:13 and, characteristically, put up 13 points (5-6 FG) in the final period. It may sound like a cop-out, but I honestly think there is no “loser” in this competition–or if there is, we won’t know which for at least another three or four years. I’ll close with this bit of info from Wolves stat guru Paul Swanson on Foye’s crunchtime proclivities.

    Randy Foye, 2006-07
    * Has scored 319 of his 646 total points in the 4th & OT (49 percent)
    * Shooting 47.9% [from 2], 38.7% [from 3] 90.3% [from the line] for the season in the 4th & OT
    * Has seven double-digit scoring 4th quarters (four in the last nine games)

  • The Three-Pointer: New Depths

    Game #68, Road Game #36, Seattle 85, Minnesota 82

    1. Listless in Seattle

    I realize the competition is stiff, but last night’s travesty is probably the worst basketball game collectively played by the Wolves and an opponent thus far this season. Without their KG-equivalent, Ray Allen, the Sonics showed every sign of wishing to roll over and die in the first period, jacking up long, wayward jumpers early in the shot clock–5 and half minutes into the game they had scored 2 points on 1-10 FG–and defending raggedly. After 12 minutes the Wolves were up, 19-12, and even a mediocre effort commensurate to the mediocre talent on the squad would have had them leading by 15 or more. Both sides were willing to let the other score, and both sides refused to oblige, missing wide open shots. It was dreadful to watch.

    I am a stone cold NBA fan over college hoops, but checking out the Elite 8 games in the NCAA tournament on commercial breaks, I can’t for the life of me see why anyone would stick with the Wolves unless they had some kind of daft obligation such as these destined to be increasingly cynical three-pointers. Anyway, here’s what you smart people missed…

    Seattle continued to brick shots in mind-numbing fashion, converting less than a third (19-58) after three quarters. But their strategy of constantly doubling (with the center’s man sliding over) and occasionally tripling (with a guard coming down if Garnett was in the low block) KG paid off in holding the score down to a mere 61-54 deficit after three periods (although the Wolves did lead by 14 with about 5 minutes to play in the third). The Wolves moved the ball impressively, but had trouble nailing the open shots they were creating. Mike James and Ricky Davis were a combined 1-6 from three point range and the club’s overall 45% field goal accuracy after three was, given the lack of difficulty, pathetic. Because Seattle’s plan was to shut down Garnett, the team’s two leading scorers after 3 were Craig Smith and Mark Blount, with 13 and 12, respectively. Trenton Hassell was next with 10, with Davis (9), Garnett (7), and James (6) all out of double figures. Blame Garnett for not compelling a single shooting foul against this blanket coverage during the first three periods, and getting one free throw the entire game. The Wolves had only 10 free throws through 3, five by Smith, who made one. That’s how you keep an abysmal shooting team with no superstar and their minds on a better draft pick in the game long enough to steal it in the final period.

    In the 4th quarter, the Wolves essentially choked during the last four minutes of the game, blowing a nine-point lead. They were up by 11 with exactly ten minutes left: KG had just completed a three-point play (his lone FT) off a nice feed from Randy Foye. Then Seattle went small, with Chris Wilcox the de facto center and either Rashard Lewis or Damian Wilkins as the power forward. Together, they chipped the lead down to six with 5:30 remaining. That’s when Randy Wittman showed his unerring instinct for making exactly the wrong move, inserting Mike James and Trenton Hassell in for Randy Foye and Marko Jaric.

    Yes, James and Hassell had clearly outplayed Foye and Jaric up to that point. But when will Wittman learn not to base his decisions on the last game, the last quarter, the last rotation, the last play? In the last trey earlier this week, I passed on info from the team’s stat guru convincingly demonstrating that the best clutch player on this team over the previous 67 games was Randy Foye, to the point where Wolves announcers Hanny and J-Pete reveled in calling him “4th quarter Foye.” And Jaric has over time demonstrated that he is the best person to be riding shotgun while Foye is trying to guide the offense.

    Things got off to a promising start, as Davis (whose passing was superb all night) zipped a dime to Smith for a slam, followed by a James trey to bump the lead to 75-66 with 4:09 to go. At this point, with the Wolves in the 11th playoff position and down by 2 and a half games for the final 8th spot with (at the time) 15 games to go, you might think a nine-point lead with 369 ticks on the clock against a .400 team playing without their superstar would be in the bank. And if it wasn’t, you might finally, finally, begin to think there was something diseased about this ballclub, something that you don’t ever ever want to put on display against the Mavs or Suns in nationally televised games that matter.

    The Wolves choked. That sub-mediocre and then crucially depleted Seattle squad proceeded to go on a 16-2 run and put the game away. Mike James? He couldn’t find Seattle point guard Earl Watson with a compass on defense. And on offense, once the Wolves’ lead had completely melted, he became too animated, running around like a headless chicken and jacking up shots with plenty of time on the clock. Yes, on one drive he was fouled and made both free throws. But anyone who wasn’t yearning for Foye–the top draft pick, the clutch closer, the guy who finally snatched his confident personality back just one game ago–is into ensuring that the entire Wolves braintrust looks as absolutely foolish as possible, Randy Wittman foremost among them.

    Ricky Davis? He had one turnover in the first 46 minutes, and two ugly ones in the last 2. Kevin Garnett? He caught the ball halfway between the endline and center court with the Sonics trapping and tried to dribble through the opposing team, with predictible results: a three pointer by Lewis that gave Seattle its first lead of the game with 1:41 to play, a lead they never relinquished.

    Any talk of tanking is a moot point. Just let this ballclub continue to do what it does, and has done for the past two months. That draft pick will be there, with a pretty bow on the box.

    2. Leadership

    Much is being made of Randy Wittman’s comments in the PiPress to the effect that the Wolves’ lack leadership in the locker room. Specifically, the coach said, “We don’t have a quote-unquote, leader that’s going to control the locker room. That when stuff’s going on that shouldn’t be going on, that somebody stands up and says, ‘Hey, all right, enough of this.’ I don’t think we have that.” Hanny and Pete mentioned it in passing last night, and Asch had it in a side story in this morning’s Strib. (Credit PiPress beat guy Rick Alonzo with the original story.)

    Here’s my take: I don’t know which would be worse, if Witt was clueless or cognizant about the inevitable stain he is putting on Kevin Garnett with this remark. The superstar of a team is the leader of it on the court, in the locker room, and with the general public. In all three milieu, Garnett has, for better and mostly worse, been conflict-averse. But people lead in different ways. For KG, it has always been going hard in every practice, studying every inch of available film, communicating with his teammates, playing through injuries, playing with passion, and remaining loyal to a franchise that has handled his career with seemingly no understanding of what would best complement his game. People who are gritty underachievers new to the Wolves, guys like, to choose a recent example, blogger-bit player Paul Shirley during the preseason, almost invariably come away from being inside the Wolves organization raving about KG’s work ethic and dedication to improving himself and the ballclub.

    Last week, Kevin Garnett said that if Randy Wittman wasn’t the coach of the Wolves next season, he didn’t want to be here. At the time, Witt had lost approximately twice as many games as he had won, after inheriting the same personnel that the previous coach had been fired from for coaching them to a .500 record. It was a gutsy show of loyalty, that, given Wittman’s inexplicable decision making and lackluster (to put it kindly) results, was a huge, probably unsolicited favor to Wittman. Yet within days, Wittman is saying that nobody polices the locker room, having to know that the first person fingered for such inaction will be KG–and if he doesn’t know that, it explains a lot about the past 28 games.

    How about this: Kevin McHale is the guy who brought in the likes of Ricky Davis and Mark Blount–both seasoned veterans with checkered histories playing for chronically underachieving teams–and Randy Wittman is the guy who plays Davis and Blount at the expense of rookies and second-year men with higher potential upsides. If you don’t have an intimate, nuanced knowledge of Kevin Garnett’s personality–his strengths and weaknesses on the court, in public, and in the locker room after his 12 years with the ballclub, what good are you to the organization? And if you do know him that well, why are you hanging him out to dry for a lack of locker room enforcement? The VP of Basketball Operations is the one who assembled this motley crew, with 47 guards and no quality banger; and the coach is the one enabling the most questionable characters on this team with a substitution rotation that simultaneously tanks the present while retarding the development of a successful future for this team.

    Where are Randy Wittman’s stones? Who specifically has been doing “stuff that shouldn’t be going on” and why hasn’t he taken steps to correct it? And if that’s a private matter, why did he make it public? There’s a lack of leadership on the Timberwolves alright. But Kevin Garnett isn’t exactly the first person I’d point to as the culprit.

    3. Tick Tock

    The Clips and the Warriors both won last night, putting the Wolves 3 and a half and 3 games, respectively, behind those two clubs with 14 left to play. Against Seattle, Rashad McCants played exactly 5 minutes, Foye 19:30.