I try not to be a cynic. When the “fall color watch” is on the cover of the newspaper and local magazines run “top drives for fall colors” articles, I can’t help but think there must be something better to cover. But maybe there isn’t. Don’t get me wrong. I can’t stand the manner in … Read more
–Michael Langenstein, “Play Ball” Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief. –Mark, 9.24 Who hath believed our report? And to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed? –Isaiah, 53.1 And ye shall gird yourself for battle and go forth against that city where the wind blows without rest, and against the unbelievers for whom … Read more
Thirst Theater embarks on another performance season tonight–this time at a new venue, Jitter’s. If you don’t know what Thirst is, it’s basically a program of little playlets by local writers, as performed by card-carrying union actors. And the brains behind the deal is none other than Alan Berks, the writerly fella responsible for this … Read more
I’ve got the world on a string. I’ve got the whole world in my hands. I’m on top of the world. I’ve got all the time in the world. Wonderful world. World of wonders. World of the future. Mattress World. Disney World. Sea World. Auto World. Tractor World. Reptile World. Sex World. Robot World. Sound … Read more
Here are the rules of the demolition derby at the 150th Vernon County Fair, as explained to me by the 68-year-old lady who sat to my left for the evening’s entertainment. 1. No hitting the driver’s side door; all the doors are painted a different color from the rest of the car to help with … Read more
I could be mistaken –I could always be mistaken, I often am– but this seemed to be the scenario: I was asking for a glass of water. I was begging for a glass of water. I was so fucking thirsty that I could barely swallow. My tongue was all fat and fuzzy. It felt like … Read more
The first-ever Rake Appeal event is tonight. It features trend master Robyn Waters reading from and discussing her new book, The Hummer and the Mini. And it’s set at a BMW dealership, which, coincidentally, sells the Mini… Some wine and cheese are tossed in for good measure–‘cept this is a tricky instance cuz you might … Read more
The Science of Sleep, 2006. Written and directed by Michel Gondry. Starring Gael Garcia Bernal, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Alain Chabat, Miou-Moiu, and Emma de Caunes. Now showing at the Uptown Theater. Hello class, my name is Mr. Fresno and I’m your substitute for today. What do we have here–this is Health Education? You guys are, what… … Read more
I fell asleep briefly and was startled awake at three a.m. Upon getting up and muddling about I was additionally startled to discover that there were apparently no pens to be had anywhere in the world. There was no ink. There were no pencils. There was no way for me to write anything down, to … Read more
Tommy Keene, one of the “greatest, underappreciated indie rock icons of all time” (nugget courtesy of Mr. Brad Zellar), plays the 400 Bar this eve. If you haven’t heard of ‘im, please refer to the college music charts from the 1980s. The inimitable Mr. Keene has since had the good taste to align himself with … Read more