Category: Sports

It’s been a damn fine day here in the Twin Cities. Cold rain and temperatures forty degrees below normal. A perfect day for an indoor baseball game, in other words, or for hunkering down on the couch to watch the Twins playing somewhere better else.

No such luck, which means we have an extra twenty-four hours to gargle Mountain Dew and attempt to rinse the lousy taste of yesterday’s game out of our mouths before the Rangers come to town. There’s nothing worse than an ugly game against an ugly pitcher, and yesterday’s 7-4 loss to the Orioles and Sidney Ponson more than fit the bill on both counts. After already seeing Ponson, Bartolo Colon, and C.C. Sabathia, the Twins just need to face Randy Johnson and David Wells to complete their tour of the American League’s All-Ugly rotation.

The Baltimore series was disappointing on a lot of fronts. The pitching match-ups going in couldn’t have been more promising for the Twins, with Silva, Radke, and Santana all taking a turn. Those eye-popping control numbers for Minnesota’s staff are starting to catch up to them, though, with opposing teams taking a very aggressive approach in the early going. The Twins coaches have always preached the importance of strike one, and both Radke and Santana have long been in the habit of pounding fastballs in the strike zone in the early going, and early in the count, in an attempt at getting ahead in the count. The scouts have obviously noticed, and now it’s time for the Twins to make their own adjustments.

When an opposing team makes three errors at the major league level you really need to make them pay for those mistakes, but the Twins just haven’t been able to capitalize. The bottom of the order continues to be a train wreck. Yesterday the one through five hitters were a combined seven-for-eighteen; the other four guys (and pinch hitter Matthew LeCroy, batting in the eight spot) went 0-13.

The other thing I’ve noticed lately is that with Torii Hunter struggling teams can pitch very carefully to Justin Morneau, and he’s not going to see a lot of balls to drive until Hunter starts hitting consistently and taking a more patient approach at the plate.

I’ve also decided that J.C. Romero is virtually worthless unless he starts an inning with the bases empty. He’s got a bit of LaTroy Hawkins syndrome going on the last couple years. Consider that opposing hitters are batting .231 against Romero with the bases empty (over twenty-six at-bats), with a respectable .333 on base percentage. They’re actually hitting worse with runners in scoring position (.091, if you’d care to believe that), but thanks to Romero’s apparent case of the yips the opposing OBP in those same situations is .412. That’s almost hard to fathom, yet between the walks (five BB and one K w/runners in scoring position) and his penchant for uncorking wild pitches at the most inopportune times, Romero’s simply not a guy who can be trusted with inherited runners. So far this year he’s averaging 6.28 walks per nine innings, which is the worst ratio on the staff by a huge margin.

I don’t feel like trying to figure it out, so maybe someone else can tell me: what was the last date the Twins gained a game on the White Sox? It’s been at least nine games, right?

A long time, at any rate, considering how well the Twins have been playing. And the encouraging thing about the last couple days is that Minnesota’s pitching almost completely shut down the Devil Rays until the last few ugly innings of the last game of the series, and this was after Tampa Bay scored twenty-eight runs in sweeping the Yankees.

And then the red hot White Sox go into Tampa Bay and lose two straight. Tonight the Rays hit just about everybody the Sox threw out there, with the exception of Damaso Marte, who almost certainly should be given the closer’s job over the shaky Takatsu. It was also especially nice to see Chicago lose a one-run game for a change, and on a walk-off homerun.

Jose Contreras was wild as shit again tonight (big surprise, that), and has now walked twenty-one batters (while striking out thirty) in thirty-nine and two-thirds innings pitched. Despite which the guy inexplicably has a 3.18 ERA and .197 batting average against. Suggestion to opposing hitters: make the overpaid bozo throw strikes. In the couple games I’ve seen Contreras pitch this year he should have walked a minimum of ten, but guys kept going up there and flailing at stuff nowhere close to the strike zone.

The other encouraging recent sign that the White Sox have thus far been lucky beyond reasonable expectations was Jon Garland’s lousy performance in Toronto on Saturday, in a game in which he lasted just five-and-two-thirds innings and gave up six earned runs (and still managed to pick up the victory and run his record to 6-0). The whole damn team should have headed to the nearest off-track betting parlor and laid heavy money on Giacomo.

These are all the sorts of things that make you think maybe the genie has gone back into the bottle on the Southside. Then again, given the weirdness of those three straight up-and-down series in Tampa Bay, perhaps the Sox are just as likely to reel off another winning streak.

One last thing: I’ve finally made up my mind on the ugliest player in Twins history. I should mention that I’ve decided to be sporting by limiting the pool to guys I actually had a chance to watch play, some of whose physical flaws –more chins than the Hong Kong phone book, for instance, examples of which have been so relatively common as to be disqualifying as a sole criteria– I actually had a chance to…umm, appreciate up close. I gave David West strong consideration, and would certainly rank his physical structure (or utter lack of physical structure) as among the worst in the annals of the team. David West, I can assure you, made Matthew Lecroy look like Jack La Lanne.

The guy I finally settled on, however, is Scott Klingenbeck, a man who demonstrated every time he waddled to the mound that life is not the only thing that is nasty, brutish, and short. Check out those career numbers, by the way, and, please, somebody do the noble thing and shell out the five bucks to sponsor his Baseball Reference page.

Perhaps you have other ideas regarding the most unsightly Twin, or an all-time unsightly Twins team. I do feel, however, that eligible candidates should represent some combination of a generally displeasing physical appearance and utter ugly incompetence on the field. But that’s just me. Maybe someone comes to mind who was just so damn ugly that you feel compelled to disqualify any and all statistical accomplishments, however rarefied. I’ll confess that I can’t bring myself to feel strongly enough about this to argue with you either way.

The Twins are 9-3 in their last twelve games, and have gained exactly nothing on the White Sox. I can’t quite decide whether that should be encouraging or discouraging news for either Minnesota or Chicago. Flip a coin, I guess. I suppose, really, it all depends on whether or not you believe the Sox are for real.

As I’ve said before I think Chicago is a much improved team, but I sure as hell don’t think they’re going to continue to play at the torrid pace they’ve managed to sustain into the season’s second month. The White Sox have now had two eight-game winning streaks, and are 16-4 over their last twenty games. The Twins have gone 12-8 over the same stretch.

The pitching staffs, even beyond the top two starters, are probably pretty comparable over the long haul. At the moment, of course, Chicago leads the league in team ERA (at 3.04), and four of the five guys in the rotation have ERAs under three. That said, the Twins –at 3.43– aren’t that far behind, and if anything are performing better than they were last year at this time.

Minnesota clearly has the edge in the bullpen, and has superior control up and down the pitching staff. I also think the Twins have more pitching depth than the White Sox. Barring injury, the key is probably going to be the guys at the back of the rotation for both teams, and if (or when) any of those guys falter Minnesota’s bullpen and depth should be the key factor in the race.

Chicago’s much-ballyhooed small-ball approach has been only modestly successful so far. The team batting average is only .258 (opponents, however, are hitting a ridiculous .228). Paul Konerko leads the team in homeruns with nine, but his batting average is .198. Jermaine Dye is batting just .210. Scott Podsednik is hitting .250, but he’s also walked twice as often as he’s struck out and has swiped sixteen bases.

The White Sox have a marginal edge in homeruns over the Twins, but otherwise Minnesota has a higher team batting average (.283), more total bases, more doubles, runs, and walks. They’ve also played half their games without Justin Morneau in the line-up.

Morneau has obviously been unreal since coming back from his beaning. Despite appearing in just sixteen games (and accumulating only sixty-three at-bats) he leads the team in homers, RBIs, total bases, and triples. Even assuming that he’s in the midst of an astonishing streak and is going to cool off, the guy is already making comparisons to Kent Hrbek look almost foolish. The question right now is really the question it seemed ridiculous to ask six weeks ago: have the Twins ever had two young guys –or two guys, period– hitting in the middle of their line-up who were capable of generating such excitement?

That if Dougie Baseball was still flashing the leather over at first and saving more runs than most first basemen produce with the bat we’d already be looking at the White Sox in our rearview mirror?

Oh, and by the way, Justin Morneau’s slugging percentage (.780) is higher at the moment than Mientkiewicz’s on base-plus-slugging (.749).

Also, doesn’t it strike you as sort of funny that if Gardenhire hadn’t inserted Morneau in the game yesterday as a defensive replacement (did you ever think you’d see the day?) he’d never have gotten the chance to hit that bomb off lefthander Trever Miller (who was, of course, brought in specifically to face him)?

Turn that frown upside down Twins fans.

I could, and should, just leave it that, because I really didn’t get much of a chance to pay attention to today’s game. I needed to roll a rock up a hill, so I had to take a pass on sneaking away to the Dome. I also felt like I needed a break, quite honestly. It’s been a tough several days in Twins Territory. And in a lot of ways, with Juan Rincon’s suspension, the stadium business, and the mini-skid on the playing field, it felt like the return of the old familiar Good News/Bad News Bears doppleganger Twins.

Still, I seldom miss a game. I pretty much always find a way to either attend in person, listen on the radio, or watch on tv, but today, for only the second time this season, I had to make do with a half-assed attempt to follow the action on my computer at work. That’s not a very satisfying experience, quite honestly, and I never quite have the feeling that I’ve actually watched or listened to a game. It’s sort of like playing pull-tabs; every time the screen refreshes you sort of hold your breath, and as things unfold in maddening slow motion you often get the feeling that nothing ever happens in a baseball game. It certainly felt that way through the early innings today, and I thought, this is what my wife must feel like when I make her sit through a game.

When I saw the line-up Ron Gardenhire was sending out there against C.C. Sabathia I have to admit I didn’t have much in the way of expectations. No Mauer or Morneau, no Jacque Jones. Luis Rivas back out at second. I’m sure they must have done it a few times last year, but I can’t remember the last time the Twins went with an entire line-up of right-handed hitters.

After Radke got out of the first couple innings without giving up a run I got sidetracked and didn’t get a chance to check back until the sixth inning, when the Twins were suddenly up 6-0 and Sabathia was long gone. I pieced together what had happened as best I could, and then sort of forgot about it again. When I finally took another look it was over. A nice, tidy two hour and twenty-six minute baseball game.

Just looking over the boxscore, though, it looks like it was a much more interesting contest in real time. Radke obviously pitched well –complete game, three hits, eight strikeouts and no walks. I don’t feel like figuring out his game score, but that’s certainly the best pitching performance by a Twins starter so far this year, and after the first couple games of the series I thought this Cleveland line-up might whack the ball all over the yard against Radke.

It’s weird to see that the Twins scored nine runs, yet still managed to strand ten runners. That’s a lot of guys on base: thirteen hits, five walks, and two hit batters. It’s also curious that Rivas, batting in the ninth slot, walked twice; and Jason Bartlett, despite going 2-5 with two RBIs and two runs, still managed to strand five runners.

I see as well that Gardenhire got ejected, and Matthew LeCroy demonstrated why he deserves a spot on the roster. The bullpen got a breather. And Terry Tiffee did more at the plate in one game than Corky Miller is likely to ever do in a complete season.

I guess the only bad news on the day is that the White Sox eeked out another one-run game against the Royals. With the ridiculous unbalanced schedule, before it’s all said and done that woebegone team of curs in Kansas City might well end up handing the division to somebody.

ON AN UNRELATED note, John Garry –a scion of one of my hometown’s legendary masculine dynasties– and I have been kicking emails back and forth for the last couple weeks trying to figure out which player in Major League history has managed to hit the most homeruns with the fewest RBIs. John, I’ll confess, has done most of the leg work to date (okay, all of the leg work), although most of his findings so far have confirmed many of my own suspicions.

Specifically, we –or, once again, rather John– were looking for full-time players with a roughly one-to-two ratio of homers to RBIs. I’ve pored through Total Baseball trying with no success to find anybody in the modern era who has managed to slip below that ratio. I also sort of thought that for the sake of integrity the player in question should have hit at least ten homeruns. John figured the likely candidates had to be either power hitters who played on truly lousy teams, or leadoff hitters with some power.

Here were some of John’s early findings:

Harmon Killebrew, 1963: 45 HRs/95 RBIs (and only 18 doubles)

Dave Kingman, 1973: 24 HRS/55 RBIs

Steve Balboni, 1990: 17 HRS/34 RBIS (John: “The key to his success was a .192 batting average. He had 51 hits and 17 of them were homers.”)

Interestingly enough, the only other guy John found with a one-to-two HR/RBI ratio played on the same team –the 1990 Yankees– with Balboni. That year, Kevin Maas had 21 homers and 41 RBIs, and the Yankees lost 95 games. (John: “They were fourth in the league in homeruns and last in runs scored.”)

It’s amazing how quickly a breaking story can be covered from every conceivable angle. Early yesterday the reaction to Juan Rincon’s suspension was a mixture of shock, incredulity, and outrage. The details in the initial press release were sketchy, at best. It wasn’t clear what exactly Rincon might have ingested to merit the suspension, but it quickly became apparent –based on the immediate suspension– that it was something included on the list of banned performance enhancing drugs.

It sucks to the tenth degree that MLB doesn’t release information on what chemical is detected in the dirty piss of violaters of its policy, because the secrecy ultimately raises as many questions as it answers. I’ve looked at that list of banned substances, and there are all sorts of things on there I couldn’t pronounce and which I wouldn’t recognize on a cold medicine label, let alone within the fine-print catalog of multi-syllabic nonsense that accompanies the average nutritional supplement.

We can presume, at any rate, that Rincon fucked up, and I’m not going to excuse his mistake, whether it was committed in ignorance or calculation. There’s been plenty of talk and analysis of the whole issue already, and though I’ll admit that I was initially shocked by the news, I’m not quite sure why.

But maybe that’s not quite true. I was shocked because Rincon is such a soft, mild-mannered, and physically unimposing character. None of those facts, of course, precludes the possibility that he used some sort of PED. Maybe, as some people have speculated, he used a little something to help his recovery time between appearances. Maybe he took something that he picked up somewhere, assuming because it came from a seemingly innocuous source that it was safe.

Whatever the case, I sure would like to know what that little something was, and whether, in fact, it was a little something or a big something. I’d also be interested in hearing how long these banned substances supposedly stay in a player’s system. Does Rincon’s result mean he ingested or injected something in the last two weeks? The last month? The last three months? Maybe none of that matters. I don’t really know, and I’m not sure I care.

I do wonder whether the team’s doctors or trainers might bear some share of the blame for the Rincon fiasco. Over the years there have been a number of occasions where I’ve had reason to wonder what’s up with the medical staff of the Twins. I wondered about it most recently during Grant Balfour’s sore arm saga, which, it sure seems to me, was allowed to drag out far too long, to the point where there was open suspicion that Balfour was a malingerer. We went through a similar situation with Joe Mauer’s knee last year, and if you want to go back even further (to Joe Mays and Eric Milton, for instance, or Scott Erickson) I think you’d notice a sort of disturbing pattern.

Don’t you think it’s kind of strange that when push comes to shove the agents of players tend to send them elsewhere –to the physicians of other teams– for a second (or third, or fourth) opinion? If Balfour hadn’t gone to Cincinnati would we all still be wondering about the source of his lingering forearm pain? Now, though, we know that he’s facing season-ending Tommy John surgery, and we’ve heard that just such lingering forearm pain should be a red flag for significant elbow damage.

Ultimately, I suppose, there’s no getting around the fact that Rincon’s to blame, even if he made a mistake of ignorance. It’s his career, his reputation, and his money that’s on the line, and the final responsibility is his.

What’s sort of disturbing about all this –for me, certainly, and I’m sure for most fans of the team– is that the obvious implication is that if Rincon is doing this shit, then so could literally anybody else on this team, or any other team.

The bottom line, though, is that it’s a ten-day suspension, and Rincon will be back in the fold soon enough. How people respond or what his suspension does to his reputation doesn’t particularly concern me, although I’ve no doubt the people in the organization are plenty worried about those angles. It does strike me as kind of pathetic that Juan Rincon is the most high profile player to be affected to date, but if this turns out to be merely an ugly blip in the season and the rest of the Twins pass their piss tests with flying colors, I hardly see how this can be the sort of thing to damage the team’s reputation in the long term.

I just got word that Juan Ricon has been suspended for ten days after testing positive for a banned substance under Major League Baseball’s new drug policy.

Scott Baker will be recalled from Rochester to take Rincon’s place on the roster.

This makes absolutely no sense to me. Among the possible candidates for steroid use in the Twins clubhouse –presuming this is related to the whole steroid brouhaha, which I don’t know for certain– Rincon would be nowhere on that list.

After mercifully disappearing for the first nine games of the season that song was back Saturday night. Lee Greenwood, I guess it is. I’ll take the blame (see this if you need any further explanation), because from here on out I’ve decided that I’ll take the blame for everything that goes wrong this year.

I sure as hell can’t come up with any other explanation for the song’s reemergence that makes a lick of sense. Unless this Lee Greenwood character is somehow related to Hal Greenwood who, though a convicted felon, has old ties to the Twins through his days at the helm of Midwest Federal.

And, look, I’ve got nothing against America, at least as a vague concept governed by a constitution that, though generally excellent, nonetheless failed to provide adequate protection against bad taste. If you’re dead set on turning the seventh-inning stretch into an exercise in patriotic indoctrination, though, there are certainly classier ways to go about it. There are surely better songs about America, songs that aren’t the work of bottom feeders like Lee Greenwood. Someone in the comments below took exception to my criticism of that jingoistic piece of herd trash on the grounds that America is at war. All the more reason, I say, to find offensive the spectacle of a bunch of safe, well-fed yahoos making merry at a sporting event and singing along with a crass ditty that could have been written by a computer program at the Pentagon.

Okay, that’s all I’m going to say about that. Now I’d like to bitch about Bartolo Colon, if I could, a guy I regard as one of the more unsightly specimens ever to squeeze himself into a Major League baseball uniform. I can’t stand to watch the man, who, as he demonstrated today, is capable of pitching performances that are almost as nasty as he looks (or, as he showed against the Yankees in his last start, as ugly). Colon looks like the bastard spawn of Harvey Weinstein and Andre the Giant’s fat little sister.

As much as I might loathe the sight of Colon, I have to admit he was pretty masterful today, painting the corners and getting the Twins to beat the ball into the rug all day long. He had to be masterful, of course, to beat Johan Santana. Santana was pretty damn good himself. Eight innings, two hits, two homeruns. There’s no shame at all in giving up a solo shot to Vladimir Guerrero, but Jose Molina? You’ve got to keep Jose Molina in the yard, and that shouldn’t be a terribly tall order –the guy had five career homers before today, for crying out loud.

Oh well. It was a pretty good game, and a good series. It is, though, a dirty rotten shame that Shrek had to be the guy to put an end to Santana’s streak.