Indubitably that wasn’t precisely the performance any of us were pining to see from the local nine coming out of the All Star getaway. And, agreed, Bret Boone wasn’t quite the shot in the bum we all so desperately hoped he might be. And yes, yes, I did see that the Chicago lumbermen were victorious … Read more
Can we just start the All Star break now? Seriously, let’s go ahead and forfeit tomorrow’s game and give the boys an extra day’s rest. Go on and send Joe Nathan to Detroit, but keep Johan home. He needs some quiet time, maybe one of those spirit retreats the New Age hippies used to talk … Read more
–Illustration by James Dankert I’ve decided I’m not going to have squat to say about the Twins until they a) start scoring some stinking runs on a consistent basis; b) get some wins from somebody besides Joe Mays and Kyle Lohse; and c) get close enough to the White Sox that Shannon Stewart could hit … Read more
It’s always nice when you’re scuffling to get some wins from the back end of your rotation. It would be even nicer at this point to see the Twins start putting together some big innings and throwing some crooked numbers on the board to give the pitching staff a little breather, but I’m not about … Read more
–Illustration by James Dankert Last night was a train wreck all around. I drove down to my old home town, Blooming Void, to attend my 25th high school reunion. To be perfectly honest with you, I’m not quite sure what I was thinking. When I got home from work I tried without much success to … Read more
Look, there’s not a bigger Tom Brunansky fan in all of Twins Territory, but this team’s in trouble and in dire need of some pop in the middle infield. So, as much as it pains me to say this, I think it might be time for Andy MacPhail to pull the trigger on that long-rumored … Read more
Okay, honest to God, that’s just about enough of this nonsense. I believe we’ve reached the point where the bump in the road has officially turned into a rut, and it’s damn hard to explain what’s happening to this team right now. This is one of those times where you could point your finger in … Read more
A few things: That ugly business in the first inning has happened way too many times now to be dismissed as a mere fluke, but how the hell do you explain it? Beats the shit out of me. You know how many times the Twins have scored four or fewer runs now this year? I … Read more
It’s really that simple. One guy should not ever have the opportunity to hit three home runs off one pitcher in the same game. It’s just wrong, and stupid, particularly in a close game. I don’t care who the hitter is, or who’s on the mound. And never mind that Radke was allowed to hit … Read more
–Illustration by James Dankert Forgive me if you’ve heard this story before. I am a man of such unvarying moods and routine that it’s inevitable I’m going to repeat myself from time to time. I’m afraid I just don’t have an inexhaustible –however exhausting– store of life experiences that anyone in their right mind would … Read more