When I moved into my apartment, I inherited the previous owner’s leftover futon and threw a tapestry over it. But at thirty-eight years of age, I felt I was beyond tapestries and futons. I wanted a new couch. I decided that the only way to get one would be to unload the grubby futon. Because … Read more
Tornadoes don’t have names, they have dates and times. The inky spiral that drops from the sky is memorialized according to the moment it touches down and stays, cuts the power, and skitters any which way it pleases across a field or farm or town. St. Peter’s tornado struck at 5:20 p.m. on March 29, … Read more
"It’s the only high-fashion-slash-golf-school on the planet,” said local clothing designer Joy Teiken, standing in the doorway of the Como Avenue warehouse she shares with her husband, Craig, a professional golf instructor. Originally built in the early 1900s to manufacture tractors and other farm equipment, the front space retains a utilitarian air, despite the putting … Read more
My older sister and I have this vulgar habit of putting dibs on our mom’s best stuff. Pointing to the valuable Roseville vases, crystal aperitif glasses, and heirloom doilies that were hand stitched by our great-grandmother one hundred years ago, we’ll march through Mom’s home, saying things like “That’s mine someday.” This strikes me now … Read more
If you visit the P.M. Bedroom Gallery in Blaine or Woodbury, you might run into Jim Borofka, co-owner of the stores and one of the last waterbed salesmen in the Twin Cities. The showrooms at HOM, for example, don’t feature waterbeds, though the store was once called the Waterbed Room. Borofka accuses HOM of “disconnecting” … Read more
This was the first interview I’d ever conducted with my shirt off. Standing before me in the mirrored pink closet was my subject: Lonnie Eiden, a nattily clad woman of supreme confidence, a professional bra fitter for forty years. “I think I’m a 34C,” I offered, playing right into her hands. “Let’s see what you’ve … Read more
When it comes to campers, there is the pack-only-what-you-need, leave-no-trace, love-your-mother variety, and there is the load-up-the-Explorer, don’t-forget-the-cappuccino-machine, outdoorsy-but-not-too-outdoorsy sort. There is also a third category, which fits between the two—motorcycle campers. More Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid than Lewis and Clarke, motorcycle campers pack light because they have to, but they ride because … Read more
It doesn’t take long to call the police. Sally is disappointed. She had hoped to be on hold for a while, listening to instrumental versions of Broadway tunes. She is poised to wait with her elbows and belly pressed against the counter, the phone pressed between her ear and shoulder, an earring scratching against the … Read more
If you really want to get Minneapolitans edgy about crime, kill some white people. Since the random murders of two middle-class whites in Uptown and downtown, near Block E, both places where affluent people live, work, and spend big entertainment dollars, Minneapolis has dramatically raised its police profile at those locations. Block E, with its … Read more
You probably didn’t notice, but due to a bureaucratic mix-up, there was no Shortlist Music Prize awarded this year. The “Shorty” was a newish but well-respected award that tried to recognize serious pop and rock bands for doing important new work, regardless of popularity. The main symptom of doing important work was selling less than … Read more