Blog

  • Tour de France

    Sebastian Kruse (age 2) and his father, Corwin at the starting line of the
    2006 Tour de France at Place Kléber in Strasbourg, France.

    Cristy Kruse

  • Ugly, Expensive, and Very, Very Tasty

    The month of November is the prime of white truffle season. Never mind black truffles—the whites are where it’s really at. The most prized fungi in the world, they fetch up to fifteen hundred dollars a pound and look exactly like clods of dirt. Shaved thinly over a dish of hot pasta, their elusive flavor lies somewhere between wood smoke and brown butter, or roasted meat and overripe cheese. With a primal aroma that in its muskiness both seduces and repels us in the same instant, truffles hold a special, outlaw place in the collective taste. Unable to characterize the scent, gourmets throughout history were relieved to call it “aphrodisiac” and leave it at that.

    To that point, scientists have since discovered that truffles produce a chemical identical to the one present in the saliva of wild boars, the very stuff to which the wild sow is attracted. The chemical likeness to boar pheromone would explain the attraction for wild pigs and their usefulness in finding truffles amid the tree roots.

    Technically, they’re a kind of mushroom, species name Magnatum Pico. Most mushroom systems, or plants, reside beneath the humus layer of the forest, decomposing roots and such. At one point in this process, and in some cases in the space of an hour, they give birth to a fruiting body, which is the mushroom itself and the part we eat. Truffles never get that far. They remain below deck, compressing into something of such gastronomic value that it’s almost mineral. Like the first person to find the rust-colored ore so essential to making iron, the original truffle hunter must have had the same squinting ability to divine the hidden value inside a dirty chunk of earth.

    Although people are taking to the woods and hunting them down in Oregon, the bulk of truffles used by restaurants in the U.S. still come from Europe, mostly from Italy’s Piedmont region, where they claim to produce a truffle with special, delicate flavor. Although the demand for truffles has grown in recent years, the supply hasn’t, and the precious harvest has become even more dear.

    Just as a squirrel climbs to the tops of trees and gnaws off the freshest, tightest pinecones to add to his nest, it’s human nature to covet special, limited harvests. In New York, where everything is available for the right price, and where decadence never goes out of fashion, they clamor for the rare and hard-to-get. White truffles, trumping even foie gras, argan oil, and rare beef, are the bling of the food world. This explains why, though cost-prohibitive to most Americans, fresh truffles are so common in upscale Manhattan restaurants that cooks handle them with an offhand nonchalance which belies their price. A simple truffle sauce, from the French repertoire and common in four-star kitchens, begins with caramelized onions, garlic, a bottle of Madeira, veal sauce, and thick cream. It is finished with a generous grating of white truffle, costs hundreds of dollars to produce, and garnishes perhaps a mere two dozen plates.

    As if the kitchens weren’t hectic enough in the fall, what with cooks hustling to make it through the busy season, insert a bunch of flashy truffle salesmen into the mix. Starting in mid-October and continuing until just past the New Year, these purveyors of the delicacy tromp through the dining rooms and into the kitchens, trailing small black leather valises. For the most part they’re slick dressers and partial to very expensive sunglasses that they tend to wear well past the hour when they need to do so. Speaking somewhat brusquely, with (usually Italian) accents, they locate the chef and lift their mysterious black leather valises onto the countertop. Ducks and fish are pushed aside. A very fancy scale, generally shiny with chrome, appears. It conducts the business of measuring the truffle weight, gram by gram, with an exactitude usually reserved for the weighing of other controlled, precious substances. The black-clad European unzips the case and releases an unmistakable and essential truffle odor so strong that it takes perhaps ten seconds for the aroma to reach every cook in kitchen. Like dogs, their noses lift in the air. Sous chefs set down their knives and move in closer, as if they were needed in the bargaining process. Ambitious cooks peer over the pile and have something to say. Managers stop by in passing to offer their own vacuous observations. Meanwhile, everyone in the room is dumbly thinking, Wow. Truffles.

    The chef, however, is thinking about the sale and how to get the best price from the wily salesmen. He chooses the finest three of the bunch, the most firm and aromatic knobs, and signs an agreement to pay nearly two thousand dollars. Taking the stairs two at a time, he immediately begins to envision additional courses on the truffle prix fixe menu.

    That seven-course menu, at $250 a pop, begins to make a dent in the seasonal truffle debt. (I don’t think they make all that much on the truffles: Providing them is more like a service, or for publicity.) For that kind of money there are truffles tucked between the milky slices of raw, live, sea scallop; truffles with potatoes and brin d’amour cheese; truffles shaved over fresh tortellini in capon broth; truffles balancing atop tender pink veal loin.

    But it’s a telling irony that truffles are best with the plainest, most elemental ingredients: potatoes, eggs, bread. Any great chef will tell you this: If you have a great truffle, eat it with scrambled eggs. Shave it into potato salad. Or, to call up the image of Italian peasants in little stone houses, sit in front of the fire, alternately chipping at a chunk of Parmigiano-Reggiano and a crumbling chunk of white truffle. Mop up the bits with a crust of bread thickly spread with good butter.

    At the end of the night the chef stores what’s left of the gnarly globe in a small varnished cigar humidor, nestled into a bed of vialone nano rice alongside a half-dozen eggs. It doesn’t take more than a full day for the truffles to impart their fragrance to the eggs and the rice, which are then turned into “truffled risotto” and “truffled sabayon.” This truffling, now a verb, seems a wondrous trick of nature, but it really does work.

    Maybe it’s this trickster quality of the truffle that we desire. Animal or vegetable? Right or wrong? Like or lust? We like it because the first taste of a dish with white truffles never fails to unsettle us. During those first seconds, before you have determined whether it tastes good or bad, the brain nonetheless craves more. And we will pay good money for that.—Amy Thielen

     

     

  • Fraters knee RT right in his dignity

    rtjumps200x311.jpg
    You guys were supposed to catch me

    Their Latin sucks, but I have to hand it to Fraters Libertas for at least having a sense of humor to go with their conservative outlook.

    It seems RT hurt himself jumping from a Gay Pride float in last summer’s parade and the Fraters (or Fratres, if you actually know Latin) couldn’t resist the obvious joke.

    Today’s post, It’s Raining Men, is pretty funny, in an RT-phobic sort of way.

    Anyway, you have to admit R.T. left himself wide open for it…so to speak.

    si valetis, ego valeo, fratres.

  • This is not technically about Kersten

    todd.gif
    “Todd is the youngest and most impressionable member of the happy Flanders clan”

    I swore off writing about Kersten yesterday. I just got around to remembering the old proverb that goes something like “The only person more foolish than a fool is someone who argues with a fool.” So, this column is not about Kersten, it’s about her defenders, (although I’m not sure that exempts me from the “more foolish” category.)

    Today (hell, every day) the Strib editors scramble to find a way to justify their publishing of her drivel. Today they publish a letter from a high school student–a high school student, for God’s sake–in defense of their idiotic decision to continue to publish nonsense.

    The argument this student puts forth is that “liberals” scream louder than conservatives. Yeah, and we have more rhythm, too.

    But that’s not the worst. The worst was the “Letter of the Day” from Todd Flanders. First, having letters from Simpsons’ characters is bad enough, but letting him get away with equating conservative think tanks with legitimate universities is inexcusable. The unchallenged assertion that such think tank “scholars” work there because they can’t get jobs at liberal dominated universities is unsupported by anything other than conservative assertion, which I guess doesn’t differentiate it much from what the think tanks themselves turn out.

    Anyone who does a modicum of research can easily find out that “think tanks” funded by conservative groups are bald faced attempts to pass off junk science as the underpinnings of conservative economic and social dogma. There’s no peer review of their findings, no checks to what they’re shoveling. They just take the money and publish what’s expected. They count on the public, and the editors of the Strib, evidently, to not know the difference. And so far they’re getting away with it.

    That’s how we get Intelligent Design, Supply Side Economics, The Bell Curve, Social Security Reform, Gays as Destroyers of the Social Fabric, and the impending end of Public Education. And that’s how we get Katherine Kersten and a major metropolitan newspaper full of uncritical tripe published in the name of balance.

  • Why Don't We Do It in the South Atlantic?

    Yesterday was the 154th anniversary of Moby Dick. It was published first in Great Britain, then in the U.S. on November 14th, 1851. Longtime readers of this little cereal-box side-panel will recall my month-long rereading last year of what I still think is the best American novel, although I freely confess a fetish for long passages of baroque Victorian prose–and Melville’s style is so different from the moderns (from Twain to Hemingway and Faulkner) that comparing them does violence to both. Still, a sympathetic reader will see a lot of modernity in Moby-Dick, particularly the easy shift from dramatic narrative to pedantic philosophy and didactic science. The allegorical qualities of Moby-Dick (chasing that White Whale–truth–to the death of the Pequod–the world) may be what make it timeless in the literary syllabus. But as far as sailing stories, it also ranks among the best. It’s not a genre I know fabulously well, but Conrad’s “Typhoon” figures promininetly as a post-industrial interpretation, as does Gore Vidal’s “Williwa” (that author’s very first novel).

    Moby Dick did not do well in its initial printing. The standard line of thought is that the publisher accidentally left out the epiologue in the British edition–that’s the final chapter that explains how the narrator of the story managed to survive the wreck of the Pequod to tell the story. This supposedly led to bad critical reviews which negatively affected American readers. I have my doubts about that sort of reduction, but it is intriguing to think about how Anglo-centric the publishing world still was, eighty years after the Revolutionary War. If you read the allegedy negative contemporary reviews of Moby Dick, it becomes clear that Melville was a sort of reverse Beatles of his time. An American rock star storming the shores of Olde World, and this was his misunderstood White Album. Coincidentally, the book announced and recorded for posterity the moment when American commercial shipping surpassed the Brits, the Dutch, and even the Norwegians.

  • The Lost Book Of Lamentations

    willis cranford.jpg

    The magic that gleams an instant between Argos and Odysseus is both the recognition of diversity and the need for affection across the illusions of form.

    Loren Eiseley, The Unexpected Universe

    Seven times the Bull of Divine Undoing brought down disaster and calamity on the Hamlet of the Unbelievers, and each time, spasmed by their grief and loss the Infidels turned once more their broken teeth to God in pitiful supplication and issued forth cries and pleadings that were as the sound of nothing to the ears of the Creator.

    Seven times the villagers dispossessed by the Bull of Divine Undoing ran hither and yon in the ruins of what had been their streets and their homes, and upon each visitation of wrath their fits of lamentation grew louder and more hoarse with accusation. On each occasion the Almighty proved ever more resolute in His indifference to their suffering, and ever more impervious to the roar of their indignant bawling.

    Eventually, after an interval of confused bereavement, the impious citizens of that cursed town would rebuild once again and pray for deliverance from another trodding.

    And God in His heaven was disinclined to trust their avowals of repentance and humility, so accustomed had He grown to their wanton and hypocritical ways. Yet He also had grown weary of playing the role of the Vengeful God, so one fine day in the late spring He led the Bull of Divine Undoing into a valley deep in the mountains and there gave the beast its freedom.

    To the villagers He then sent, rather than wrath, deliverance in the form of dogs, that the sinners might learn at last the lessons of loyalty and love.

    wildside.jpg

  • Mommy, those bloggers called me a Catholic

    Lutefisk (Custom).jpg
    If you’ll believe this stuff is edible, I’ve got a columnist I want you to read.

    It would be tough to pick the most idiotic version of a Katherine Kersten column, but today’s certainly has to be in the running. KK’s unhappy that people are attacking her for extolling the religious types who hate gays.

    You can read it for yourself, if you have a strong stomach. If you really have a strong stomach, you can read Kate Parry’s defense of her from yesterday.

    Well, I’ve got news for KK, Parry, and Gyllenhall: what pisses people off about Kersten is not what she says. Hell, I read the Wall Street Journal’s editorial page, and if I can take that, conservative speech must not be what sets me off. What rankles about Kersten is SHE’S INTELLECTUALLY DISHONEST.

    She makes assertions she can’t back up, answers criticism with ad hominem defenses, and rouses rabble just to instill fear in the morons who eat what she shovels. (BTW, here’s a good analysis of some of her shortcomings.)

    Those who provide her with that shovel should be ashamed. Kate and Anders, the reason for your job is to provide truth, not so called “balance”. Having Kersten balance out people like Nick Coleman, who can actually think, is a continuing insult to your readers. Besides, I never realized the paper was supposed to be a teeter-totter.

    Besides, if you got rid of her, think of those extra column inches you could devote to scintillating send ups of lutefisk–now that’s journalism.

  • There, There Child

    We are not stuff that abides, but patterns that perpetuate themselves.

    Norbert Wiener, The Human Use of Human Beings

    If the human heart sometimes finds moments of pause as it ascends the slopes of affection, it rarely halts on the way down.

    Balzac, Pere Goriot

    There, there child. Come now. Every day can’t be brass bands and beef steaks and roses.

    Give me your hand. Let me hold it and trace with my fingers its lonely, ragged cul-de-sacs and shallow creeks. It doesn’t have to mean a thing.

    Hold out your hope; give it to me. Don’t hold it so close. Let me feel what you’re going through, what’s going through that head of yours.

    Let me look at your eyes.

    I’ll let you in on a secret: The mysteries don’t scare me anymore. Someone once said that all silence is the recognition of a mystery, but I don’t believe that anymore and I’m not sure I ever did. I think silence is many things, and many of them fine, but I don’t think it’s the recognition of a mystery.

    When you recognize a mystery –when you really recognize a mystery– I believe you’re compelled to address it, to speak its name, and to describe its features, to give it a face you will recognize until the end of your days. It’s no small thing, the recognition of a mystery, and I believe such recognition calls for some banging of pots and pans, some fireworks, some exultant noise.

    Yes is not an obligation. It is a choice and the embrace of a privilege, and not everyone has even one honest yes in them. Some people are damaged and can manage only the side-step and the awkward embrace. These people are only too unhappy, however unconsciously so, to persist in the tragic human error of mistaking attention and respiration and mere movement for some form of sufficient affirmation, of mistaking this sufficient affirmation for affection.

    There, there child. Come now.

    Don’t make that foolish mistake. You are one of the lucky ones. You were born with a yes plumbed snugly behind your rib cage. If it feels heavy and silent within your chest that is only because it is still looking for its bell tower. Wait patiently. You’ll find a bright and worthy place to hang your heavy thing, and when it sways at last it will be heard, even if by only one other, and it will be answered, it will be joined.

    Have you ever heard a bell ringing in a little valley town? It is a lovely sound, but there is something mournful about it nonetheless. But two bells, or all the bells in the valley ringing together at once? That is something else entirely. That is the music of the human heart. That is a joyful noise.

    Wait for that.

    Hold out for that –hold out hope– even if it seems like the price you pay for waiting is much, much too steep. Wait for it all the same.

    livingston-flag.jpg

  • Veterans Day

    Katherine Kersten let us know again today about the meaning of honoring our veterans. In case you missed it, it’s building memorials, like the one in Rochester. It was the typical superficiality we’ve come to expect from KK, but I’m sure she tries to do the best she can with what she has to work with.

    I do think it is good to have such tangible memorials to our war veterans. I’ve been to the one in my hometown to see the name of my father’s best friend from high school, who died in the English channel when his transport was torpedoed on Christmas Day 1944. I’ve run my fingers over the name of my high school buddy on the black wall in Washington. And I’ve looked through the private memorial constructed by my mother-in-law out of the contents of the foot locker of her brother who went down in a B-24 over Germany in 1943. (Disclosure: I was drafted in 1972, but flunked the physical.)

    I have one relative, who as one of the 5th Rangers, stood in an LST bobbing in the waves off Pointe du Hoc on D-Day, watching his unit be slaughtered as they tried to get up that cliff, and knowing he’d be next if they failed. He didn’t have to fight that day, but he did in the hedgerows in France, on the bridges in Holland, and in a Belgian town called Bastogne. He won one Silver Star, two Bronze Stars, three Purple Hearts (which he called the medal for being stupid enough to get shot) and all of 1945 and part of 1946 having his leg pinned back together and learning to walk again with a persistent slight limp.

    Two uncles missed that war but got in in time to both freeze in Korea and sweat in Vietnam. They got three Silver Stars and a couple of Purple Hearts between them. Their four sons and sons-in-law missed Vietnam, but did go to Germany for the Cold War, and Iraq in the first Gulf war. One cousin saw men under his command killed in a training accident. One cousin drove a tank into Baghdad three years ago.

    And one of those cousins was notified this week that his son is on his way to Iraq after the first of the year. He’s heartbroken, as are we.

    I once asked one of these guys why he hadn’t ever joined the VFW or American Legion. He just said anyone who’d ever actually been in combat would never want to glorify it in any way, and left it at that.

    Honor yes, glory no.

    What we’re doing now for our current armed forces is no honor to the memory of our veterans.

    We’ll send my cousin’s son to war short of enough men and equiment to keep him and his comrades relatively safe. We’ll have tax cuts and bridges in Alaska.

    Today, we will fire salutes at Arlington, where my uncle is buried, and at Fort Snelling, and at the memorial in Rochester Kersten writes about. We’ll be there even though our president has yet to attend even one funeral of one soldier killed in this Iraq war.

    We’ll place flags on soldiers’ graves while the flag draped coffins from Iraq are unloaded and buried out of the public eye, except for the obligatory stories from the local press about the local boy who played high school football and married his childhood sweetheart.

    We’ll hear from a president who used the National Guard to duck his own obligation while he uses guys who signed up for the Guard to get money for college to clear roadside bombs and fight house to house in Fallujah.

    And we’ll bitch about gas prices half of what the rest of the world pays while some of our regular Army are getting ready for their fourth tour in Iraq.

    My uncle once said, "I can’t believe Bush said ‘Bring it on.’ Nobody who has ever been in combat would ever say that. I was always hoping the enemy would hear me saying, ‘Take it somewhere else.’"

    Those are the sort of veterans I can honor every day–those who know what it is and went anyway. I can’t honor those who don’t know what it is, and send others to do it.

  • Nom D' Plume

    The New York Times magazine’s style sections, which have lately been spun out as stand-alone quarterlies or something like that, have–to my eye–been kind of a mess. If you look to the table of contents, they are typically divided into broad, allegedly cute rubrics like “The Look,” “The Get,” and so on. But if you actually browse through, my eye like a cabbage moth doesn’t really land on anything in particular, other than what most dominates these issues–the full-bleed, full-truck prestige ads.

    That undoubtedly pleases the advertisers. In many ways that’s precisely what a good style magazine should do–become a self-fueled showcase for prestige brands to compete with each other for the most glam, buzz-worthy ad pages.

    But as far as “T” being an editorial product, there are just too many elements thrown together without any useful overarching architecture. Normally, I argue the opposite point– many publications, especially the alt-weeklies, suffer from too much off-putting structure designed to lead the reader by the nose-ring. I’m talking about impedimenta like over-defined sections (Music! Film! Books! Readings! Visual Art-Sculpture! Visual Art-Sculpture-Smaller Than Your House!), oversized page numbers, heads, decks, tags, bylines, captions, pullquotes, refers, blah blah blah. Is there a story in there somewhere?

    But “T” magazine kind of abandons the images and the stories to the page. Where everything is given equal visual weight, nothing stands out or calls you in. You could make the argument that that’s what catalogs do, and that’s what Times Style editors are trying to recreate–a sort of shopper or browser. It’s irritating to me that such a lazy approach to magazine design–which is itself supposed to showcase world-class design–can succeed so handsomely.

    Anyway, my point was going to be that one story in “T” recently jumped out at me, to be the exception that proves the rule. I didn’t notice it myself; my beautiful and brilliant wife did. It was a wonderful, evocative piece about visiting Euro-Disney. It was written by the “mysterious” young San Francisco writer J.T. Leroy, and I thought that was pretty savvy of the Times to pick up LeRoy, who has most recently been writing regularly for the SF magazine 7X7. LeRoy, you may remember, is supposedly a twenty-something young man who was raised on the mean streets of America. According to the story, he was sort of a Gen-Y Jim Carroll–a comparison that stands up, when you read the two well-liked novels LeRoy has published.

    Well, today, someone over at Women’s Wear Daily reports that the Times Magazine has suddenly decided to end its nascent relationship with LeRoy. They cancelled an assignment in progress (a piece about Deadwood, the HBO series). The reason given seems to be that the Times cannot verify that LeRoy “is a real person,” and WWD sort of fans the flames of consipracy by talking to “someone claiming to be LeRoy” who confirms the facts of the dust-up.

    I don’t know what all the fuss is about. In the business, it’s called a pseudonym, and the fact that J.T. LeRoy has been writing and publishing under that name for more than a decade ought to be track record enough to establish his (or her) credentials. Probably the Times would like to know what LeRoy’s real name is–and LeRoy isn’t taking the bait. Probably the Times is being careful to avoid any more embarrassments. Probably that is worrying too much about the writer, and not enough about the writing– something the Times has raised to the level of corporate art form.

    Funny WWD uses the word “scrapped.” As in, “editors at the Times Magazine recently scrapped a piece by author J.T. LeRoy.” I’ve heard from more than one writer over the years that the Times frequently operates without conscience when it comes to “scrapping” stories that they have assigned. Another convention of the business, even more common than the pseudonym, is that you honor the contracts you make with writers, and you either buy the story and burnish it to your liking, or you kill it. In a pinch, you can accept a story “on spec”–without committment. In all cases, a writer deserves to know what he’s in for before he’s in it, or after it’s over, or somewhere along the way. Times editors, frequently citing that wonderful, all-encompasssing excuse that “it’s a big operation, we’re real busy” are not good about this important but unprestigious nuts-and-bolts facet of the biz. The lives of Times editors do not come to a grinding halt when a story doesn’t work out; but the lives of freelance writers frequently do.

    UPDATE: A friend pointed me to the New York magazine piece (referenced in the WWD story) that purports to identify who the real J.T. LeRoy is. It’s an interesting mystery, but seems to me sort of irrelevant to whether the work written by that person is publishable or not. LeRoy has been writing and publishing in almost every magazine other than the Times for many years now. Clearly the New York mag story made Times editors nervous. Or should I say even more nervous.