I have a clock radio from 1978. It has two volumes, “Way Up” or “Silent.” The alarm is stuck between KQRS and buzzer, and after the Exxon Valdez coffee/hairspray spill of 1989, the on/off button is gunked up and doesn’t work. So I either plug it in, or I don’t. But it still does the … Read more
Just like a three-year-old defiantly staring down a plate of overcooked Brussels sprouts, I told the world I was not going to write about race stuff this month. I even promised my 16-year-old son that no matter what, I was not going to be The Rake’s resident “spook by the door,” spewing endlessly about skin … Read more
The sign said, “All life on Earth, including human beings, was originally created scientifically in laboratories by the Elohim—an advanced people from space!” “Tell me more!” I said to the sexy French Canadian woman boasting ample cleavage. She was running the Raelian booth at “A Gathering of Light,” a new age convention. “The only person … Read more
John “Macker” McMahon has a bright green mohawk, skull-shaped rings, lots of leather, and boots definitely suited to toppling statuary. On top of all that, as if for verification, he sports an Irish accent as green as his hair. Not the kind of guy you’d expect to see making housecalls in Kenwood or Linden Hills. … Read more
A few weeks ago, more than 150 friends gathered to honor Kalid Al-Bakri’s life. They remembered him as a kind and good man, gunned down by robbers as he filled in for his brother at a South St. Paul convenience store. Then they lowered him—in accordance with the rules of his faith—into the ground at … Read more
Though the letters “MBA” normally conjure visions of accountants and middle managers, you may start seeing them on letter jackets and sweatshirts around town. MBA also stands for Minnesota Business Academy, a two-year-old charter high school that occupies the old Science Museum building in downtown St. Paul. Though charter schools have existed in Minnesota for … Read more
The blond-haired guy with “Washburn” on his letter jacket slipped a pass to me and broke for the net. I sidestepped a 10-year-old, came face-to-face with “Red Jacket” and slid the puck toward a swath of blue going my way down center ice. It was a mistake. The pass went to “Blue Sweatshirt,” one of … Read more
Back in Moscow, they have haphazardly declared the 500th anniversary of vodka. The native Russians at the St. Petersburg, a new restaurant in Robbinsdale, greet this news with skepticism. After all, they put 8,000 miles between themselves and the motherland for a reason. Besides, it’s not like Russians have lacked for excuses to knock a … Read more
Even as the first production Hummers and Gelandewagens begin to roll on local streets, there’s a growing national chorus of self-righteous folks complaining about the sport utility vehicle. When Arianna Huffington and Jesus agree on anything, there’s clearly something afoot. Sure, there is much to hate about these biggie-sized vehicles. And yet all this kvetching … Read more
Santa’s big season is behind us now, but it’s Christmas all year round at the FBI, where the jolly elf’s omniscient surveillance powers probably inspired a young J. Edgar Hoover. The FBI’s Ten Most Wanted list debuted on March 14, 1950, complete with cash rewards stuffed into the stockings of informants. The Ten Most Wanted … Read more