The other day I saw a television ad for something called Sedation Dentistry. Obviously, we are taking people’s fears of drills and root canals seriously. We are no longer shunning these hypochondriacs, and that seems like a step in the right direction. Maybe we are becoming more sympathetic as a culture.
What else could be accomplished and overcome if only we could sleep through the process? Sedation National Night Out? I’d love to meet all of my neighbors and their kids at once, providing I’m unconscious. Before you scoff, remember I would be festively dressed and sitting in a lawn chair with a Diet Coke snugly wedged into my limp hand. It all sounds a little Weekend at Bernie’s, I know, but if it’s deemed socially acceptable to be terrified of a teeth cleaning, then I should be able to meet other challenges in a deep REM.
I’m serious: We could really be onto something here. All of a sudden, more people I know would be RSVPing to baby showers and attending their friends’ local rock shows without hesitation. How about a tax audit? I’m so there! Your friend’s girlfriend has a walk-on role with two lines in a community theater production of Taming of the Shrew? Are you kidding? Hell, I’ll even go to the cast party. Imagine the possibility of your next family Sedation Thanksgiving!
Drooling and with head down in the yams, trust me, there would be at least one relative exclaiming on the car ride home, “I had one of the nicest conversations I think I’ve ever had with Lucia. She seemed so happy. We should totally invite her to cousin Marie’s baby shower!” Sleeping through uncomfortable family get-togethers and work functions is nothing new. I believe the word I’m searching for is “alcoholic.” But Sedation Socializing sounds so much nicer.
Email Mary at popularcreeps at yahoo.com.
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