I blame it on Beckham. While the average American doesn’t even know who Beckham is, and has no idea how to bend it like him, he was the first celebrity to sport the faux-hawk, back in 2002. Having moved on, Beckham’s hair is now shorn in the fashion of the photogenic inmates on Prison Break. Yet soccer-naïve Americans still stumble upon his old hairdo almost daily. Not since the ornamental kale craze of ’98 has something so absurd been so prevalent.
The faux-hawk seems the tonsorial equivalent of heaping beer cans in the backyard—it’s lazy, unattractive, and does nothing to help the environment. But surprisingly, the style has a distinguished provenance. An article in the recent Style Issue of the New Yorker attributed the faux-hawk’s invention to Hedi Slimane, famed designer for the House of Dior. Perhaps that accounts for the appeal of the look, particularly among gay men. But, according to the article, Slimane himself abandoned the cockscomb coiffure after he “encountered one on a desk clerk at a hotel in Prague.”
Dr. Frankenstein might have joined the village mob, but his monster survives. Gregory Slade, a young barber at the Hair Cuttery near Chicago’s gay village Boystown, said in an interview, “Mainly guys get their hair cut that way because they like how it can be worn in about three styles. You can wear it down, spike it, or wear it as a faux-hawk. I probably cut about three to five faux-hawks a week.”
Closer to home, the trend shows no signs of fading. At Minneapolis’ Lyn-Lake Barbershop, where clients pay fifteen dollars for a no-nonsense buzz, Brian Preston says he gets asked to do them all the time. His pronouncement is surprising, coming as it does from the Twin Towns’ last bastion of butch. “It’s everywhere,” observed Preston. To prove his point, he went flipping through a copy of Details. Happening upon a Dolce & Gabbana ad, he said: “See, both these guys have little faux-hawks. Of course, most men will just focus on the naked torsos and never even notice the hair.”
Both Slade and Preston note that the style is flexible and rather noncommittal. According to Slade, most clients who request the faux are “guys who are afraid to sport a more punk look.” In other words, this is a hairdo that can stand erect for the occasional night on the town, but go limp in time for tomorrow’s job interview.
“It’s a cop-out,” said Preston. “A poor substitute for the real thing.”
Speaking of the real thing: Remember when punks with real Mohawks and safety-pinned leather jackets hung out in front of the Uptown McDonald’s? Say what you will about them, but those folks had the courage of their convictions. A flaming-red Mohawk erupting from a shaved scalp makes a sure-fire statement—the kind that makes parents nervous and gives adolescents certain bad ideas. A faux-hawk, on the other hand, says nothing except, “Take away my pomade!” Or perhaps: “In the morning, I can help you start an IRA.” Can we—and by we, I mean all of us, but especially gay guys—please put the faux-hawk behind us? We have to get ready for the return of the mustache
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