In Godzilla movies, fallout from a nuclear test or some
other significant disaster often awakens the monster, or one of his rivals,
wreaking untold destruction upon Japan, like so.
Here in Minnesota, we’re just starting to see the true fallout from the
February 25 vote to override Gov. Pawlenty’s veto of the DFL transportation
bill. In a "Welcome to
Tokyo" moment, State Representatives Ron Erhardt, Neil Peterson, and Jim
Abeler, three of the six Republicans who voted in support of the veto, had
their asses summarily handed to them in Saturday’s Republican convention, with
Erhardt and Peterson losing the state GOP endorsement to Keith Downey and Jan Schneider, respectively. Abeler,
who represents Anoka and was running completely unopposed except for
token opposition from local puppet and drunken reprobate Sailor
Martin and previously unknown carpetbagger Boxy
Brown, also couldn’t seal the deal, failing to secure the 60 percent
majority needed to sew up the endorsement – and when Anoka Republicans would
rather go without than give you any love, you know you’ve got problems.
Of course, even without the veto override, these three may
have been taken behind the woodshed. There seems to be a definite trend toward
the right in the state party as a whole, a trend that definitely does not favor
moderate Republicans. This trend seems, upon first glance, a bit bizarre.
Minnesota has a grand tradition of moderate Republicans working hand in hand
with the DFL – great men like Arne Carlson and Rudy Boschwitz. Why trade that
legacy for complete and utter raving Bachmann-esque bat-shit crazy, especially over
the objections of some of the most respected members of the caucus? Only
Ron Carey knows for sure, and he’s too busy making ad
buys on Fox to chat.
Regardless, the veto override has only accelerated a process
that began around the time Jesse Ventura left office, thus depriving Democrats
and Republicans of a common enemy and causing both parties to drift away from center like drunken sorority girls too focused on texting their booty call to watch the road. The theory in vogue among Republican analysts, however, is that Republican
leaders feel moderates can’t draw the line in the sand voters need in order to
decide between GOP and DFL.
In a way, this makes sense. Had GI Joe not had such
drastically
different ideology from Cobra, would we have cheered them on despite the
confusion engendered by the feelings the Baroness evoked in us? And
if our fearless Republican leadership can deal with Cobra, is there really any
question of their ability to secure our borders against the invasion forces of
the vile Canadians?
For if we do not fight them in Winnipeg, will we not have to fight them in
Hibbing? And given the platform many of these new legislators stand on, "them"
happens to include gay marriage and teachers.
Make no mistake, this strategy will garner votes. The issues
many of these candidates are running on are those that have divided the state,
and the rest of the country, for the last eight years, if not longer. What
remains to be seen is whether these issues drive enough Republicans to the
polls to retake the legislature or if the sharply divisive rhetoric from both
sides delivers a veto-proof majority to the DFL.
In the meantime, we can take heart that there is still
one issue that crosses party lines and serves to bring us together regardless
of political affiliation. One issue that simultaneously brings a smile to the
faces of Clinton, McCain and Bush. One issue that, if we’re all honest with
ourselves, warms our hearts and speaks to us in a universal language – skantily-clad
viral
video
stars.
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