All Aboard! And: Don't Make A Move

There’ll be two buses leaving the hotel for the park tomorrow. The two o’clock bus will be for those of you who need a little extra work. The empty bus will leave at five o’clock.

–Dave Bristol, San Francisco Giants manager, 1980

I watched last night’s game in a motel room, with the sound on the television turned down so I could hear the non-stop bickering of the elderly couple in the room next door.

The old people’s spat sort of resembled one of those cartoons where a guy has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. As such it was, of course, the perfect soundtrack to the game, and to the Twins season to date.

Truly, truly, truly, I keep thinking it can’t get any uglier, and then, just like John Kruk, it does, in fact, find a way get even uglier.

I don’t know, what do you think? Was last night the low point? That fifth inning? Lew’s boneheaded baserunning play? Torii’s injury? J.C. surrendering the grand slam? And…am I missing anything?

I’m sure I’m missing plenty, but please don’t make me go look at a recap.

I’ve made up my mind. Last night was the low point.

And right now I really don’t want to see the Twins make a move just to make a move. I’ve already said that I don’t think there’s any one player who can give this team the sort of help it needs –or rather the amount of help it needs– and I’d hate like hell to see them give up a single prospect for any of the names I’ve heard trotted out, at least not if it’s going to be strictly a rent-a-player arrangement.

The time to have made the kind of deal they’re thinking about making now was last season, or over the winter. I mean, going into the season we may have all been optimistic about this offense, and the national press may have been optimistic about the team’s chances, but in hindsight you have to ask yourself: What were we thinking? Optimistic based on what, other than Johan Santana?

This problem with the offense goes back quite a long way now, pretty much since David Ortiz left to become one of the greatest hitters on the planet. It was a nagging thing the entire second half of last season, and doomed the Twins in the playoffs. They’ve known for two years they needed a big bat in the middle of the lineup, and I guess they –and we– were really counting on Mauer and Morneau to be those bats this year.

I’d say they’ve both done just fine, even if they haven’t quite lived up to expectations in terms of production. And even if you want to look at Morneau’s season as a colossal failure, then that just serves as further indictment of the team’s veteran hitters, as Morneau is second on the club in homeruns, third in RBI, and second in slugging percentage. I’d still wager anyone in the room that he’ll end up leading the Twins in all three.

It’s just been a frustrating season, that’s all. The Twins were due to have one of those. And it’s still not too late for them to salvage something from this year, but I don’t think they’re going to do that by trading for anything less than a proven run-producing superstar whose services they intend to retain.

They’re not going to do that.