It's Not The Size of Your Skyscraper…

Has Minneapolis gone crazy for cantilevers? We humbly submit proposals for other buildings that could benefit from this glamorous architectural amenity.

1. Keep an eye on rising gas prices while enjoying your double-dip cone—inside the new Loon grocery/gas station/ice cream parlor at 28th and Lyndale.

2. In 1967, the Yippies wanted to levitate the Pentagon. If they’d only had an engineer and a cantilever!

3. Safety solutions at Ground Zero. Why not turn the Freedom Tower on its side? Voila—the Freedom Walkway to New Jersey.

4. Putting a stop to needless, hurtful speculation.

5. The next phase of Cedar Lake’s Flatpak House eliminates double-decker bikes from the gene pool—or at least from Kenilworth Bike Path.

6. Sex World’s “West Schwing” arouses envy. It is not allowed, however, to actually touch Choice Gentleman’s Club, across the street.


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