SOUNDTRACK TO MARY: By Mary Lucia

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My favorite question of the moment is “What are you obsessed with?” I realize the idea of obsession scares people off, but I decided to make a list of my current obsessions—is that an obsessive thing to do? Oh well. What’s a little psychiatric disorder going to hurt??The things I am obsessed with, in no particular order, are:?


1. Coffee. Sometimes I lay in bed at night, unable to sleep in anticipation of my morning cup of coffee. (No, I am never switching to decaf.)?


2. Death. How anyone can not be obsessed with death is mystifying to me. It crosses my mind every day in any situation.?


3. The C-level comedy The Money Pit. If I’m surfing channels and I come across this film, I will inexplicably watch whatever is left of it for the fiftieth time.?


4. The complete imbalance in men’s choices for footwear, compared to women’s. Do men really want a mere eight variations of an already-boring style??


5. Trying to identify the voice in a commercial. This one has been known to drive loved ones around me to drink.?


6. Cats. If one appears on television or I spot one outdoors, I will stop whatever I am doing. Like a two-year-old learning to identify, I catch myself saying “kitty” quietly to myself.?


7. Boys in bands who appear to cut their own hair.?


8. Biographies of people who’ve spent time in the nuthouse. I can’t help but believe that, had I been born in 1915, someone would’ve thought cutting out part of my head was a good idea. “There now, Lucia, don’t you feel calmer?”?


9. Vintage clothes. I know it skeeves out so many people to wear someone else’s garments. It’s for that very reason that I am drawn to them. I should clarify that. I’m not bothered by a worn collar, or by the shape of someone else’s foot in a secondhand pair of shoes; however, I am not enthralled with the idea of wearing a dress marked with some flapper’s pit stains. ??


Email Mary at popularcreeps@yahoo.com

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