Twenty Questions

What is the one invention you couldn’t possibly live without?

Do you subscribe to the theory that if the shoehorn were to become obsolete we would see the end of the true-fitting slip-on?

When was the last time you listened to Nirvana’s “Nevermind”?

In your dreams are you most commonly flying, swimming, or naked on a schoolbus?

If there was a new planetary order that allowed humans to buy celebrities as pets, and money (and money-making potential) were no object, which celebrity would you buy?

What is the fastest you have ever driven an automobile?

Be Honest: Did you ever throw a rock at a Mormon?

If you could have one sentence tattooed on your body what would it be?

Did you ever see a giant in the supermarket, signing autographs and selling bacon?

Choose one: Ween or Queen?

Would you harpoon a whale, if given the opportunity?

If you could resurrect one dead rock star, who would it be?

If God gave you the power to eradicate a single species from the planet, which creature would you mark for extinction?

Is that the necklace the dog gave you?

Do you know the way to San Jose?

Are we almost there?

You call that a proper meal?

You call that a day?

What in God’s name is wrong with you?

Any further questions?