I foment world revolution and all I got was my face on a lousy t-shirt
As one commenter on this blog said yesterday, this IS like making fun of the retarded kid. Ok, one more round of cruelty today then I promise I’ll leave them alone for a while…at least until I feel like it again.
First, I want to say Katherine Kersten’s new column photo is an improvement. We once suggested that she looked like Margaret Hamilton. She’s now improved to Napoleon Dynamite who has had lasik. Unfortunately, her column is still the usual fatuous twaddle. Today we have the insight that service clubs, like Rotary, do nice things. Of course, I guess that’s an improvement on her usual observations that if everyone would just go to church more often and send their kids to private (religious) schools, the world would be a nicer place.
On to “source style”, which used to be called Variety, I think. I never read that section before and you’ll forgive me if I don’t start now. The lead story on “What your t-shirt says about you” was a stunner though, although I have to admit I stopped reading it right after the summary graph: “T-shirts with witty, suggestive and opinionated statements are everywhere on college campuses. Some say the wearable text messages speak volumes about who we are.”
No they don’t. They speak a few words about what’s on our T-shirt. For example, my favorite T-shirt says Louisville Slugger. Does that mean I’m a baseball bat?
And, let’s be honest here, the girl who was pictured in the tight T-shirt doesn’t need a couple of words here and there to get people to look at her…well…t-shirt. C’mon, aren’t there any women editors over there at the chessecake factory?
We hoped, maybe, for more from the front page today, but we were disappointed again. More Vikings crap and, ohmygod, the breaking news that they’re building condos downtown and I can now get vacuuous music videos on my iPod, if I had an iPod. My fervent hope is that people who have video iPods run into the sides of downtown condos and kill themselves while jogging.
Opinion Exchange, thank God, left off the “The Street” item today in favor of a Randy Kelly penned piece that somehow left the impression that St. Paul voters ought to vote for him. Maybe tomorrow we can get the startling opinion from Chris Coleman that he thinks St. Paul voters should vote for him? But what really fried me though, was on the day they should have reprinted a great piece from David Brooks from the NY Times on why we should not have the pedestrian Harriet Miers as a Supreme Court justice, we get clarence page (who?) from the Chicago Tribune on why Bush appointed her. We already know why Bush appointed her: He’s an idiot. What we don’t know is why SHE’S an idiot. Brooks tells us, in HER own words. Believe me, it’s worth paying for NY Times Select for their Op-Ed columns alone. You could use the money you are wasting on your Strib subcription, for example.
Maybe, if you’re lucky (and still subscribing by tomorrow,) the Strib will reprint Brooks’ piece.
But, never mind what they could have printed today. Let’s look at the eagerly awaited and much touted bi-weekly “the world” section. As Courtney Peifer, World (I wish they’d make up their mind about capitalizing things) section coordinator, says in the note to readers, “You’ve asked for more international news, and we’ve reponded.”
Today’s big story from the international scene: More Asian women are getting cosmetic surgery. As if the story weren’t enlightening enough, we got a little side bar on some of the most popular procedures. Now, thanks to the Strib, I know what’s involved in “Breast augmentation.”
Maybe the Asian women who get “Surgical placement of an implant” can model t-shirts for the “source style” section next week.
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