Superfood Sucks

First, a preface: I am not a foodie. The blander the better.
Nourishment, for me, is achieved by daily ingestions of oatmeal and honey,
cinnamon-raisin bagels with peanut butter, salted popcorn, and, as of late,
Odwalla Bars. I’ve enjoyed these very much because, well, they’ve made it easy
on me—“No Refined Sugars,” say the labels. And I’m very careful about this. Diabetes
runs rampant in my family—even among the skinny people—so I’m trying to trick
fate by avoiding refined sugars whenever possible. In any case, the “Power
Protein” and “Berries GoMega” Odwalla flavors have been plenty pleasing. But I
was horrified, just now, by my first bite of a “Superfood”-flavored Odwalla Bar,
which is loaded with Spirulina and banana flakes. It tasted like a cross
between seaweed and lake water! Spit! Ptchu! Yech!