On Tuesday, the 29th of July, the votes will be tallied and the people will have spoken, singling out the King and Queen of Minnesota politics and bringing an end to the heated debate over who is truly the most beautiful at the Capitol. And while the answer to this question that burns with the […]
Leavin' on a Jet Plane
July 9, 2008 by
Even misanthropic political bloggers need vacations. So while the battle for the title of King and Queen of MN politics rages, I’ll be taking the Soul Plane to Europe for two weeks to enjoy Mediterranean breezes and purchase the bones of a saint and other religious artifacts. We’ll resume our regular cynical ramblings with antisocial […]
The 2008 Most Beautiful People at the Capitol Awards
July 8, 2008 by
Photos by Denis Jeong Nearly two months ago, we embarked on a quest unprecedented in the history of Minnesota politics. Our pursuit — nay — our calling from a higher being, was to seek out the most beautiful, spectacular, and otherwise hot people who labor at the Capitol — in obscurity or otherwise. The response […]
Will Minnesota Go Beyond Thunderdome?
July 1, 2008 by
Today marks the beginning of a new dark age for Minnesota. It is a time of injustice. A time in which brother turns on brother and LOLcats replace poetry and prose as the high art of the day. Should the scales not be balanced in short order, the post-industrial wasteland depicted in the upcoming remake […]
Fantasy Gone Wrong
June 25, 2008 by
Generally, "ations" are regarded as good things. Propagation, masturbation, fornication, copulation, lubrication – all activities mankind finds to be worthy efforts. However words containing this benevolent suffix are have recently been besmirched by the smear campaign being waged against one of their brethren. And with oil prices rising like Dirk Diggler’s imposing lightsaber, the war […]
Happy Fun Friday: Catharsis Edition
June 20, 2008 by
Sometimes catharsis doesn’t come easily. While Obama and McCain supporters moved on to the general election long ago, poll after poll right here in Minnesota shows a Democratic party still mightily divided. Whether it’s DFLers undercutting Al Franken with comedy routines past, or voters threatening to stay home during the general election, the damage to […]
Oil Wrestling
June 19, 2008 by
With consumers on the receiving end of an 87-octane enema for the last few months, it’s understandable that various politicians would be spewing forth bile-filled diatribes laying blame for the current situation squarely at the feet of the opposition. Democrats are accused of being so "unmoved by the plight of hard-working Americans, they are unwilling […]
Keeping the Peace Means Communication and a Warm Taser
June 16, 2008 by
While terrorists plotting to obliterate the Xcel Center in a fertilizer-scented blast of hellfire would seem to be the larger cause for concern among the various agencies responsible for security around the RNC, the Department of Homeland Security, in conjunction with Texas Security Threat Group officers, the California Department of Corrections and the Sacramento Intelligence […]
The Well-Lubricated Fall of the Middle Class
June 9, 2008 by
All praise be to the cyclopean gods of old for finally bringing the nigh interminable local and national Democratic nomination process to a close. For while sentences involving Andy Rooney, sodomy and bestiality, not to mention flag lapel pins and innuendo involving sniper fire, roll comfortably off the tongue of B-grade actors on late-night Cinemax, […]
Public Servants by Day, Dead Sexy by Night
June 1, 2008 by
While the Forbes recent “The 20 Hottest Royals in the World” list serves only as a dire warning of the horrific effects of inbreeding, now that the polls have closed on Minnesota’s first annual “Most Beautiful People at the Capitol” awards it’s safe to say that the state’s residents can rest easy in the knowledge […]