Author: Rich Goldsmith

All praise be to the cyclopean gods of old for finally bringing the nigh interminable local and national Democratic nomination process to a close. For while sentences involving Andy Rooney, sodomy and bestiality, not to mention flag lapel pins and innuendo involving sniper fire, roll comfortably off the tongue of B-grade actors on late-night Cinemax,…

While the Forbes recent “The 20 Hottest Royals in the World” list serves only as a dire warning of the horrific effects of inbreeding, now that the polls have closed on Minnesota’s first annual “Most Beautiful People at the Capitol” awards it’s safe to say that the state’s residents can rest easy in the knowledge…

Green is the new watchword for consumer products and goods. We can track our carbon footprints, find out how many miles our food traveled to our plates, and make a point only to have toe-curling carnal gymnastics with Prius drivers — so why do we insist on persecuting those entrepreneurial souls trying to provide a…

On the well-manicured lawn that is the Democratic primary, there resides a two large groups of little old men shouting epithets at one another, screaming for "these kids" to get the fuck off their lawn. Sadly, these arthritic individuals aren’t Edina’s most senior residents, as one might expect of these wizened figures glowering at any…

As the 2008 session draws to a close with no small amount of pomp and ceremony today, it is a time to reflect upon the marvel that is the modern democratic process. More particularly, it is a time to think about the countless hordes of people at the Capitol who toil every day to grease…

Every hero needs a sidekick. Tombstone had Hammerhead, Batman had Robin, Thundarr the Barbarian had Princess Ariel and Ookla, and Paris Hilton had everyone. Repeatedly. Now, in the twilight years of his life, John McCain yearns for the same sort of comforting companionship that comes from a bosom buddy who can double as an effective…