We fell asleep listening to stories about how Grandma passed her psychic ability on to our father. While he lay in his pram, Gram clipped his pinkie fingernails, boiled them in horseradish sauce, then poured the compound on a patch of dirt behind Fluffy’s doghouse. Father told us that to complete the transfer, he was later ordered to visit Transylvania and make love to a chubby, pale-skinned woman. (When our mother was nearby, he left out the sex part.) None of this compares to Terry Iacuzzo’s family ghost stories. The freakiest thing isn’t even the half-human, half-spiritual apparition that would show up to warn the Iacuzzos about impending tragedies. It was that their family pet never, ever died. Funny, our Fluffy is still alive, too, sixty years after Gram’s ritual.
Author: rakemag
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Carmen Boullosa
Baby, we really haven’t come a very long way when you consider the women of antiquity. Cleopatra, in particular, had the full power package. The last of Egypt’s pharaohs, influential consort of guys like Julius Caesar and Marc Anthony, a rabble-rouser of the first degree, and a woman who really knew a few things about style, she set a template for feminism that more than two thousand years later remains intimidating. Mexico’s Carmen Boullosa, a writer known for her bold, revisionist takes on history—ancient Mexico, pirates of the Caribbean (sans Johnny Depp), Moctezuma—sets her lavish imagination loose on the life and myth of Queen Cleo. The result is a multi-dimensional, intelligent, and passionate character at the center of a richly detailed world.
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David Charters
A VRS (very reliable source) reports that while he was working for a BIF (big investment firm) he witnessed several horrendous CLMs (career-limiting moves) executed by some high-powered VIPs (come on, you know that one). On one occasion, said VRS was at a certain decidedly not-straight Minneapolis bar when he felt someone’s hands groping his nonetheless-straight rear end. Our VRS yelped, turned to face his pursuer, and found his clearly intoxicated VIP boss staring back at him. Our JRG (just recently graduated) VRS went to work the next morning, packed his belongings, and said goodbye. Similar accounts are found in The Insiders, David Charters’ personal tell-all from his years in a world dominated by BBBs (bankers, brokers, and business execs).
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James Solheim
Remember when the Santa stories stopped making sense? Maybe you wondered how he could be at both Southdale and the MOA, or why there was brown hair growing above his ear. Author James Solheim is the perfect guy to get to the bottom of such mysteries. In his first book, It’s Disgusting–and We Ate It!, he explored the world of multicultural cuisine, from violet pudding to “hot garbage” (think chicken byproduct stew). His newest release, Santa’s Secrets Revealed, delivers the lowdown on the big night—everything from elf scientists to radar-clad reindeer. Moms and Dads shouldn’t think of this book as elaborating a web of lies—consider it preparation for disappointments your children will face down the road. Southdale Library, 7001 York Ave. S., Edina; 952-847-5900; Red Balloon Bookshop, 891 Grand Ave., St. Paul; 651-224-8320
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Julie Landsman
Do our public schools really suck? Don’t take a legislator’s word for it—ask an actual teacher. Or you could go hear Landsman read from her inspiring and illuminating books, Basic Needs: A Year with Street Kids in a City School and A White Teacher Talks About Race. Take note that twenty-five years of work in Minneapolis schools didn’t turn Landsman into the bitter and burned-out stereotype of the city teacher. She’s still full of hope and energy, and it sounds like her students turned out pretty well, too. Co-sponsored by SASE: The Write Place. 315 14th Ave. S.E., Minneapolis; 612-822-2500
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American Hi-Fi
Drummer Stacey Jones had his hand in several “kinda cool for a minute” mid-nineties alternative rock bands, including Letters to Cleo and Veruca Salt. With an enthusiastic nod to Cheap Trick, the Boston-based American Hi-Fi, his latest band, comes to town determined to change the musical landscape as we know it. OK, actually, they’ll be happy with a good seventy-five minutes of uncomplicated rawk without incident. 110 Fifth St. N., Minneapolis; 612-338-3383; www.thequestclub.org
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To the Editor
THE KIDS CAN DANCE
I really enjoyed Camille LeFevre’s article on Ten Foot Five [“Fancy Foot Work,” November]. Four years ago, I was fortunate enough to meet Rick and Andy and the rest of their group. I can say without a doubt that they are some of the most talented and inspiring artists I’ve had the pleasure of performing with and learning from. Thanks for the great pictures and article. After watching this amazing group for four years it’s great to see them getting this kind of exposure.
Mariah Christensen
MinneapolisCULTIVATING INSPIRATION
Regarding “Can Organics Save the Family Farm,” [September] if we didn’t need Eliot Coleman writing and farming so much, I’d plead for him to run for president. His excellent article explains why I feel the way I do about two things: allowing the USDA to determine the meaning of “organic” is bad, and our little market garden business is important and necessary and we need to keep doing it. Thanks for the inspiration.
Lisa McKinney
Etc. Farms
Fairmount, GAMORE VIBRATORS!
Another museum with a fairly comprehensive collection of vibrators [The Rakish Angle, November], including some intended for “stimulating the prostate gland,” “treating constipation,” etc. was the late, lamented Museum of Questionable Medical Devices. The Science Museum has reportedly inherited most of that collection and may have some items from it on display.
Doug Gray
BloomingtonBELIEVE, DON’T BELITTLE
Regarding “Message in a Bottle” [The Rakish Angle, June]: In an age when modern science is starting to take a genuine interest in Eastern as well as other alternative healing methods, we should maintain an open mind and curiosity concerning new ideas and not, as the author does, shoot them down with a few sarcastic turns of phrase and hateful judgments. There is nothing superlative about belittling efforts to further our understanding of healing processes and nothing fresh about voicing one’s prejudice, as the author does when she makes fun of the Japanese speaker’s “robotic” accent. (Japanese, being a syllable-timed rather than stress-timed language, like English, has a more regular beat, as do many other of the world’s languages. When speakers of such syllable-timed languages speak English, they sometimes have trouble emulating the correct rhythm.) What does it say about the author’s character to use this accent and the speaker’s heartfelt citation of John Lennon’s “Imagine” lyrics as the concluding proof of the speaker’s folly? The healing potential of water (e.g., water from Lourdes and other pilgrimage sites) is in our ancient collective memory. Modern science is beginning to explain phenomena, such as the communicative potential of water and transmission of energy, through complex theories and lines of reasoning—most promisingly, quantum theory. We should be in awe of what may lie ahead of us in terms of healing potential and understanding of the universe.
Elisabeth Gareis
New York, NY -
Meet The Fockers
Get to know the people who named their beloved son Gay Focker. The director and stars behind Meet the Parents, which achieved a certain cult status, return with a tale about the in-laws, demonstrating on film that concept familiar to any couple: Your parents are just as weird as mine. The hyper-chill Fockers are played by a tightly permed Barbra Streisand and Dustin Hoffman. Their son’s marriage forces their world to collide with that of the waspy Byrnes (Robert DeNiro and Blythe Danner, performing with stick-up-posterior perfection). And as Gaylord “Greg” Focker, Ben Stiller reprises the role that has made his career: The fumbling, angry man who just can’t seem to get anything right.
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The Aviator
Currently, Howard Hughes is best remembered for being a reclusive freak incapacitated by obsessive-compulsive disorder. Martin Scorsese is out to change that with this biopic that focuses on Hughes as a pioneering renaissance man, integral to the evolution of electronics, aviation, and Las Vegas casinos. Not to mention his role as an eccentric Hollywood film producer and a major player with the hottest leading ladies of his time. Coming off the heels of the crap-tastic Gangs of New York, Scorsese once again teams up with Leonardo DiCaprio to bring Howie’s pre-1946 story to the screen. If Martin should miss the mark again, fear not—there’s a better source for the real story: Read the insanely compelling Howard Hughes: The Untold Story by Peter Harry Brown and call it a day.
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Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events
The plight of the unlucky Baudelaire orphans springs to big screen life in this fantastical adaptation of Lemony Snicket’s deliciously dark young adult novels. The Baudelaires, cloaked in dark garments and wearing appropriately long faces, run in a gothic world made of flying buttresses, black seas, and amethyst skies. The film boasts an all-star cast, with Jude Law as Lemony Snicket himself, the author hard at work, creating his harrowing tale even as we watch it unfold. Jim Carrey returns to his commedia roots as Count Olaf, the orphans’ evil thespian uncle, who keeps trying to steal their inheritance. After narrowly escaping the Count’s diabolical plan to knock them off in a train wreck, the orphans find respite with their jittery Aunt Josephine (Meryl Streep). But the unfortunate Baudelaires can’t successfully elude their nasty uncle; he keeps popping up in disguise, hatching scheme after dirty scheme to get at their loot.