The Rake Magazine

Category: Blog Post

  • Taking On the Divine Right

    District 6 is a bizarre creature. Stretching in a "C" around
    the metro area from Stillwater all the way to St. Cloud, the district
    encompasses a huge range of incomes, lifestyles, political philosophies, albeit
    a rather narrow range of races – remaining 95 percent white according to census
    data. One might assume this variety would mean the region would trend toward
    moderation, but like a Coon Rapids-dweller wobbling his way to the F-150 after
    bar close, the district has teetered between conservative and liberal
    candidates in the last several elections.

    For the last eight years, this electoral St. Vitus’ Dance has had a profoundly polarizing effect on Minnesota politics –
    Michelle Bachmann. From her position as a Minnesota State Senator, she gave us
    a glimpse of the legend that would soon beget the frothing hatred of the
    liberally-minded, with vitriol, bile and impotent rage spewing forth across the internet, spilling on to the fabled YouTube and
    dripping in a wholly unsavory way upon Larry
    King’s already scabrous and soiled lap    .

    Now, as District 6’s representative in Congress, she’s
    baffled many with her slavish devotion to the administration, even in its
    declining years, not to mention made some question her sanity with questionable
    interpretations of intelligence reports, crusade for freedom of choice in
    lighting and firm conviction that Jesus
    died for our carbon credits    . So it should come as no surprise that she has
    some serious opposition in the upcoming race for the District 6 congressional
    seat in the form of former Minnesota Commissioner of Transportation Elwyn
    Tinklenberg.

    Tinklenberg, who also served as mayor of Blaine, consented
    to speak with us about why the hell he was willing to risk the fires of Hades
    by contesting Bachmann’s
    divine right to a congressional seat    , as well as what he plans to do in the
    short time before he’s struck down for defying the Lord’s mandate if he wins.

     

    The Rake: Why, after watching a better funded Patty
    Wetterling lose the last election to Bachmann, did you decide to step in the
    ring?

    Tinklenberg: I think there are a number of
    differences from that time to this time. The biggest one is that they now know
    who Bachmann is. They know how she votes, how she behaves, what she says. And
    all that is demonstrated, in a way that the last campaign wasn’t able to, how
    out of touch she is with the values and concerns of the district.

    For example, obviously from almost the beginning – her
    embrace of the president at the State of the Union, her vote on the childrens’
    health initiative, to her defense of the incandescent light bulb. Everything
    that people have come to know about her has demonstrated that. She’s voted
    against veterans’ benefits, the farm bill, funding for the bridge replacement
    in Minneapolis. Every vote has demonstrated that.

    The Rake: So why do people keep sending
    her back if she’s so completely out of touch?

    Tinklenberg: I don’t think the last campaign
    succeeded in helping people understand who Michelle Bachmann was. I don’t think
    the people of the district understood or knew that much about her. She built
    her career on wedge issues and divisive partisan politics. I don’t think that
    came out that well in the last campaign. Now on a broader scale they’ve seen
    the stories and the votes. I think now it’s different, people are sitting back
    and saying "That’s not what we bargained for." And Patty Wetterling won in
    Bachmann’s home town. The more they knew about her, the less likely they were
    to vote for her.

    And I think the other part of this too is that I have some
    experience in government, in the district, and with campaigning that are real
    assets to my campaign. That helps as well. And the fact that I have the DFL and
    independent party endorsements are reflective of the kind of support we have.
    It’s her record, and my own, that give me an advantage over the last campaign.

    The Rake: Are you
    worried that the district demos lend themselves to those wedge issues being
    important? Do folks in Anoka sit up at night scared to death of the looming
    specter of man-donkey marriage?

    Tinklenberg: As long as we leave those issues in a
    kind of polarizing debate we’re not going to make any progress. There are other
    issues the district is concerned about as well. Especially the economy and
    what’s happening in the economy. We saw that when labor stats and employment
    stats came out yesterday. Unemployment in Minnesota is at a 25 year high and people
    are concerned about what’s going on in the economy and in their own lives. So
    there are a lot of issues at play now that weren’t in campaigns of the last few
    years. People are looking for solutions and help and a stop to the endless
    partisan debate. That’s a huge advantage for what I bring to the campaign. My
    experience has been as mayor and commissioner and I bring people together and
    build coalitions. I think that’s what the voters are looking for.

    Take a look at our records. In the last campaign, Bachmann
    talked about things she proposed and introduced in the state legislature, but
    what did she accomplish there. Or in the Congress? I can point to things that
    we built. The National Sports Center. Light rail. I can point to things that
    happened when I was working for Anoka County. I think that stands in pretty
    sharp contrast to her record, or lack of it. She’s talked about a couple
    issues, but really what has she gotten done that has created jobs or built a
    better future for the Sixth District?

    She hasn’t wanted to bring any federal dollars for
    transportation projects and agriculture continues to be a huge issue. She voted
    against the energy bill. What can she actually point to? She voted against the
    GI bill and support for our veterans. For so long the Republicans talked about
    accountability and results. How about some accountability from them? Look at
    what the policies of the administration, which Bachmann supported, have done.
    Look at the results. If there was ever a time to ask yourself if you’re better
    off for the policies of the Bush administration and Michelle Bachmann, now is
    the time.

    The Rake: Why are you drawing so much
    less money than Bachmann? Maybe Bachmann’s god-fearing supporters are already
    used to tithing?

    Tinklenberg: We’re seeing this all over. The
    presidential campaigns have sucked a lot of money out of the system, but we’re
    seeing a lot of increase in fundraising recently. The DCCC put 19 Demo candidates on an emerging
    races list. Last quarter we outraised all but four of the 19. Two of the four
    only outraised us by a couple thousand dollars. And they were all in larger
    states where the potential to raise money is greater. It’s an area we continue
    to work hard on, and we need to keep pressing on. Patty Wetterling outraised
    Bachmann significantly, but she lost. We need to have the funding, but also
    need the other things to run a strong campaign. We are seeing more and more
    reports that are calling this race competitive.

    The Rake: District 6 is one of the fastest growing
    districts in the state, and also home to more SUVs per capita than any other
    area in the state – causing some growing pains due to the commutes. Got any
    answers that don’t involve drilling in Alaska and riding dinosaurs to
    work    ?

    Tinklenberg: There are a bunch of things we need to
    do. The energy bill that looked at improving CAFÉ standards; we need to
    continue moving forward with that. Those standards didn’t increase for 30
    years. We’re only achieving in our fleet average in 2025 what Europe is today.

    We need to be more aggressive. There are things we can do
    with transit. The Northstar corridor goes through the heart of the district,
    and 82 percent approve of it. People there will spend less time on the roads as
    a result. Providing alternatives like Northstar and bus rapid transit and
    investing in our roads will mean less time wasted in traffic and on the roads.
    And if we’re advancing research and development of biofuels, hybrids and
    alternative fuel vehicles, plus increasing mileage of traditional vehicles, we
    can ease the commutes for lots of people. And all of those things will help
    bring down the price of oil. Just a 20 percent reduction of demand in June led
    to a 50 cent drop in the price of gas. Reducing demand makes a huge impact.
    Individual consumers have a significant role they can play. Everyone making
    small changes can make a huge impact.

    The Rake: How do you make that difference in
    Congress when you’re not only just one guy, but you have to cooperate with
    asshats from Mississippi? I mean, Chip
    Pickering     is kind of a dick.

    Tinklenberg: I think I have a unique opportunity to
    do that. For example, Mr. Oberstar says he will appoint me to the
    transportation and infrastructure committee. It’s a large committee, but I’ll
    be the only person on the committee who has run a state department of
    transportation. And the committee will be taking up the reauthorization of the
    Fed transportation bill and there will be a great opportunity there. I’ll get
    to have a disproportionate influence because of my background.

    I know the system nationwide, I know people in the city, in
    the state. I can bring that experience to congress and provide the change,
    options and opportunities people need for transit. The Sixth District has the
    longest average commutes in MN. These are critical issues for people. I’ll be
    able to address that in ways that the incumbent has shown no interest in doing,
    nor does she have the background or expertise to do so.

    The Rake: Any debates planned?

    Tinklenberg: We’ve proposed a bunch of them, but she
    has yet to accept them. We have one scheduled at the Monticello Chamber of
    Commerce, but that’s the only one currently scheduled. We were supposed to do a
    forum style debate at Farm Fest a week ago, but she didn’t go. She didn’t
    bother to show up. She doesn’t want to talk about these issues because she
    doesn’t have much positive to say about what she has done or what we should be
    doing.

    The Rake:Your opponent seems to have become Larry
    King’s go-to conservative, especially on energy issues. You have any plans to
    save the world? Or at least drop gas prices?

    Tinklenberg: Well let me ask you, why do you think that
    is? It’s certainly not because she’s proven herself to be an articulate
    or amazing speaker on these issues. The frontlines of these issues are right
    here in the district. She doesn’t need to go all over the country to learn
    about it.

    There’re some fabulous things going on in the district.
    There’s a company in the district called Blattner – they make wind turbines.
    There’s another company called Sartec in Anoka that has developed a process to
    harvest algae to make biodiesel. They’ve got a plant under construction in
    Isanti. It’s showing great promise. There have been visits from 40 different countries
    to the plant and it’s in the Sixth District.

    The greatest energy resource in the country is the
    innovation of the American people. We need to start tapping into that and
    that’s what’s going on here. She’s missing that because she’s stuck on an oil-centered
    approach and has voted against everything else.

    The Rake: Despite mounds of overblown rhetoric during
    the last election about bringing the troops home and making a difference in
    national security policy, Democrats in Congress have rolled over and wet
    themselves every time the administration comes calling – The Patriot Act,
    wiretapping, funding the war in Iraq. What do you plan on doing differently?

    Tinklenberg: I think that the initiatives that were
    put forward were stymied by the threat of a veto and the lack of votes to
    override it. Until we can address that with a new administration and a stronger
    majority, the Democrats are kind of stuck. But we do need to push a lot harder
    on that agenda.

    In terms of Iraq, we’ve got to have a plan for getting out
    and getting more support from the region to secure the area. Our presence there
    is actually contributing to the instability. That’s why the government there
    wants a timetable for withdrawal and the administration has agreed. But it was
    disappointing for me to see the vote on the FISA legislation and the exceptions
    for the telecommunications industry. I have great concerns for what the
    administration has done to civil liberties and the rule of law in the country.
    Oversight in congress was severely mismanaged for the entire term in office. We
    need to reestablish that and I support doing that.

    The Rake: Earlier this summer, approval of Congress polled at 9 percent. Michael Richards would
    probably manage to poll better than that, even if you took the survey in
    Compton. People’s faith in their government is at an all time low. And why do
    you think you can fix it? What do you think you can do.

    Tinklenberg: Let me use this as an example. In Blaine
    we started talking about what we could do to build a stronger future for the
    community. The biggest obstacle was people’s low expectations. That was the
    biggest challenge we faced – getting people to believe we could accomplish
    something and work together to change our future for the better. That we could
    pursue a vision and accomplish it. That’s what we need in Congress and that’s
    why our tagline is rebuilding optimism in America. We need to restore people’s
    faith that things can be better and tap into people’s vision and hope for the
    future. If we do that, we can accomplish remarkable things.

    One of the most damaging aspects of this idea that
    government is the problem, is the government is actually the way things get
    done together. It undercuts having common goals and objectives. Anything that’s
    done to downplay what we can achieve in a public project really hurts the
    country and our ability to use our government as a way of working together for
    the common good and improve.

    The Rake: And it may have something to do with government
    officials acting like idiots?

    Tinklenberg: Well there’s no shortage of that. But I
    don’t know that there is any more of that now than any other time in history.
    But now that that’s seen as exemplary acts of a bad system they just contribute
    to people’s lack of faith.

    The Rake: Congress has been trying to regulate
    financial markets for decades, and all they’ve managed to accomplish is demonstrating
    that the smart people go into the private sector and find ways around
    legislation. Given that record, how do you plan on regulating the mortgage
    industry, as you mention in your platform, without turning the finance sector
    into a complete and utter clusterfuck that will drag the economy down even
    further?

    Tinklenberg: I think what we’ve seen is that the
    regulation of the banking industry has, in general, brought some of the
    stability we wanted to see after the fiascos of the 20s and the S&L crisis.
    But after that we had these pseudo banking institutions that grew up and didn’t
    fall under that legislation. And when you combine that with large amounts of
    capital looking for greater amounts of return–you had an environment where
    finances were getting more and more complex, mortgages were used as collateral
    and sold off again and again. I think there’s a role for regulation in that.
    That’s an area that expanded outside of the regulatory framework and we need to
    bring it back in. Some of the proposals by people like Barney Frank have been
    moderate and continued to support a strong and growing economy, but eliminate
    some of the abuses we’ve seen. That’s an appropriate role for government.

    It’s why I got involved in government in the first place–the people I worked with in the community. The largest stress in the early 80s
    was finding a good job – a job that provided for the family and provided a
    chance to get involved in the community. I think we’ve come back to that.

    We can see in this the results of the Bush economic and tax
    policies. This notion that if we aggregate large amounts of wealth in a smaller
    and smaller portion of the population and that it will trickle down to the rest
    of the population and provide more and more benefits. But instead we’re seeing
    schemes that are about manipulating markets and pursuing more wealth. We need
    to get back to policies that support actual production. That’s why I was
    disappointed by the economic stimulus plan that was approved. It didn’t build
    anything. There was no long-term plan. It was more of the same – buy something
    and it’ll be okay. I think if we had taken some of that money and invested it in
    our roads and waterways and infrastructure, it would’ve created jobs and
    opportunity.

    One statistic I remember from my time at the DOT: every
    billion we invest in infrastructure creates 47,500 jobs. That’s a Federal
    Highway Administration statistic. And we borrowed $160 billion and sent it to
    people and encouraged them to buy a TV. I think we need a longer term, more
    robust economic strategy than that.

    The Rake: Do you think it would’ve been a different
    plan if it wasn’t an election year?

    Tinklenberg: I don’t know. I think it could’ve been a
    better plan. I did a press conference a while back and called for a second
    stimulus plan that would make the kind of investments I’m talking about. The
    best economic stimulus is a good job. We need to get back to building an
    economy that provides good jobs for people.

    The Rake: We’re staring at a $900 billion budget
    deficit. What the hell do you do with that? Just give in and hand the Chinese a
    couple movie studios, a few hundred thousand copies of Windows XP and some DVD
    porn and call it even?

    Tinklenberg: You have to fix it slowly. It’s not
    something that’s going to happen overnight. The first thing you do when you
    find yourself in a hole is stop digging. We need to take seriously the fiscal
    responsibility we have as elected officials and start being serious about
    setting priorities and how we fund those. It’s going to be hard. I’ve been
    endorsed by the Blue Dogs.
    They’ve been talking about this, pushing responses to this – both on the
    spending side and the revenue side. McCain called Bush’s tax cuts, especially
    to the wealthy, abominable. I think the tax cuts to people making over $250,000
    need to be allowed to expire. And we need to refocus tax incentives around job
    creation, research and development, infrastructure – create the jobs of the
    future. Growth needs to be a part of the strategy as well.

    The Rake: But is growth actually a strategy?
    Our esteemed leader has been talking about growing our way out of this mess for
    years…

    Tinklenberg: We have to be proactive about this. We
    need to put policies in place that grow the economy. The Bush economic plan has
    been a colossal failure. The idea that doing a little more of it will somehow
    be better is the definition of insanity. We have to do those things that will
    support growth in the economy. We’ve had two straight years of job losses in
    the manufacturing sector so we need to do what we can to support growth there
    and put policies in place to support the housing sector as well.

    One of the places the Bush administration policies has
    really failed the future is in research and development. When he talked about
    the importance of switch grass and renewables and a hydrogen economy, he cut
    funding to the research. The role of government in innovation is critical for
    our economy. When you don’t fund that you put yourself way behind. Those things
    take years to develop. We’ll be making up for the failures of this
    administration to invest in innovation for years to come. The way we build the
    energy and economy of the future is the innovation and R&D funding of the
    government.

    The Rake: On healthcare, it looks a little like you
    want to have your morphine and take it too — a low-priced public option
    available to everyone while keeping private insurers around? A lot of
    economists seem to think you can’t have universal coverage via a public plan
    without having single payer – what conservatives and those odd creatures known
    as Canadians call socialized medicine.
    What makes you think otherwise?

    Tinklenberg: Some of the work that John Edwards did was
    good work. Some of what’s going on in Massachusetts is a good starting point.
    We saw what happened to the Clinton proposal several years ago. We didn’t move
    forward on that. So I think you need to continue to allow private companies to
    make insurance available, but there’s a public backstop. I think that’s a good
    option and a way for us to get moving on universal coverage. The idea is that
    you can’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I thought the Edwards
    proposal offered a way forward. And that provided the option of a government
    backstop.

    While I think business needs to share the cost of
    healthcare, I think it needs to be portable. It has to go with the person, not
    the job.

    The Rake: How do you pay for that sort of backstop?

    Tinklenberg: How do you pay now? People still get
    sick now. We just pay for emergency room visits instead of doing preventive
    care. The money is still being sunk into the system, we’re just rationalizing
    it. We’re paying for it in higher premiums, various welfare programs, medical
    assistance programs. It’s not about bringing more money to the table. The
    system is currently as expensive as it can be.

    The Rake: Here in the U.S., we still generally regard
    ourselves as the world’s greatest superpower. But the conflict in Georgia has
    made it seem that we’re actually somewhat powerless on the world stage. Where
    once we stood proudly erect, we now slump limply – weak and impotent.

    Tinklenberg: I think it’s true. We have, on a number
    of different fronts, undermined our strength. We’ve undermined our moral
    authority because of Guantanamo. We’ve undermined our strength because of the
    drain in Iraq and our economic policies. Because of the fact that we are so
    much in debt to so many foreign governments – in terms of energy, of currency.
    It’s made us vulnerable. It has undermined our security and I think that’s
    going to be problematic in terms of the strength of our response – militarily
    and diplomatically, if people see us as a paper tiger because we’re vulnerable
    militarily or economically or from a global perspective/reputation. And that’s
    a direct result of the Bush foreign policy.

    This is the thing that amazes me. I was in D.C. on Sept 11.
    We were stuck there and out on the Mall looking at the smoke coming up from the Pentagon. And one of the things that provided comfort in the aftermath was what
    we were hearing from around the world. The French president actually said,
    "Today we are all Americans." There was incredible strength in that. And we
    lost it in no time at all. All of a sudden we were talking about freedom
    fries and lost so many of our allies and pursuing a unilateralist policy. That
    was a part of the erosion of our strength. And then following on that the
    exhaustion of our military deployment in the Iraq war.

    That’s going to be an important issue for the next Congress.
    Rebuilding that strength, militarily and diplomatically is a huge thing to
    tackle for the next administration and Congress.

    The Rake: Michelle Bachmann – direct connection to God
    or just bat-shit crazy?

    Tinklenberg: Ah, I don’t know. As someone who started
    my life as a United Methodist minister, that old advice about walking humbly
    applies to me. I’ve tried to heed that. So I try to be careful about implying
    that somehow I’m able to define God’s will for everyone else. I do it badly
    enough for myself, so that advice to walk humbly is important.

  • Sexy Singles Strike "Silver + Gold" in the North Loop!

    SINGLES NIGHT

    Silver + Gold



    Come chill out at North Loop sweet-spot Clubhouse Jager
    every Tuesday at this subtle and sassy singles party! Enjoy 2-4-1 drink
    specials all night long, prepared by red-haired hottie and resident
    bartender Angie,
    who is a mixologist of epic proportions (ask her to make you one of her
    famous "surprise" drinks or shots, you won’t be disappointed). Grab a
    private booth, belly up to the bar, or take in the summer breeze on
    Jager’s awesome outdoor patio while enjoying the eclectic beats
    of one Jonathan Ackerman, whose Tuesday night repertoire ranges from Kanye West to David Byrne. Ok, I know what you’re thinking: singles night =
    lame. Not so, especially considering that yours truly co-hosts the night! Honestly, Jager is a great neighborhood bar with a classy
    ambiance and friendly patrons and staff, so single or not, Tuesday, (or
    any night for that matter) at the Clubhouse is always a good bet. Not to mention, I’ll
    be there on my laptop all night, so come down and say hi, or hit on me
    – it is singles night after all!

    Bonus: Don’t forget to leave a secret note for your crush on l’etoile’s Text Connections
    website the next day!


    9pm, Clubhouse Jager, 923 Washington Ave N., Minneapolis, Free

    THEATER

    American Buffalo



    Head to the Bedlam tonight for a spot of violence and vulgarity as David Mamet and Mike Rasmussen debut American Buffalo,
    the gritty tale of Don, Teach and Bobby – three criminals involved in a
    plot to rip off a valuable coin collection from a junk shop. As the
    heist progresses, so does the tension between the characters who
    eventually resort to real violence against each other in the battle for
    alpha-crook. Make a date of it, with a pre-show happy hour cocktail at
    the Bedlam’s cute bar, or share one of their "Polish-fusion" thin crust
    pizzas which are a definite must-try for anyone with tastebuds! And if
    you’re looking to get rowdy after the play, stop by the
    nearby Triple Rock Social Club for some late-night dance-action at Triple Double featuring Mike the 2600 King, DJ Espada, and Paper Tiger.



    7pm (Nightly through August 24th), Bedlam Theater, 1501 S. 6th Street, West Bank, $5





    SHOPPING

    Rewind



    This week’s hot shoppin’ tip comes to you from the outer fringe
    of lovely Northeast Minneapolis! Darling vintage clothing shop, Rewind, is tucked away in a tiny blink-or-you’ll-miss-it storefront on Johnson Street.
    One of THE best places to shop for quirky retro accessories and unique
    duds, this gem of a shop should definitely be on your shopping hit
    list. Each time I venture into Rewind’s crowded and cozy fashion haven,
    I am immediately fixated on the jewelry displays, which are crammed
    full of funky beaded necklaces, weird brooches, sparkly baubles,
    trinkets and do-dads of all shapes and sizes. Like owls? Their
    owl-related accessory collection is probably the biggest you’ll find in
    the city, outside your crazy neighbor lady’s house that is. Top off
    your vintage shopping spree with a pop-in to the always delightful Crafty Planet for some kitshy-cool crafting inspiration, or treat yourself to dinner at any one of the yummy little restaurants located within walking distance of the shop.


    Open Mon-Sat, Noon-7pm; Sun, Noon-4pm, Rewind, 2829 Johnson Street, Northeast Minneapolis

  • Woody Allen's "Vicky Cristina Barcelona"

    In 2005 Woody Allen made a triumphant comeback to critical glory with Match Point, which earned him his first Academy Award nomination in eight years. Well, it turns out that was only a warm-up. Allen saved his true comeback for the summer of 2008 with Vicky Cristina Barcelona, an honest tragicomedy that switches out Allen’s intellectual musings with a compelling study of the complexities of love. Featuring one of Allen’s strongest ensembles in years, the film hearkens back to Allen’s greatest days and ranks another "must see" addition to his filmography.

    American students Vicky (Rebecca Hall) and Cristina (Scarlett Johansson) travel to Barcelona to spend the summer with a friend of Vicky’s family (Patricia Clarkson). They are there only a few weeks when Cristina spots a sexy Spanish painter across an art gallery. He is Juan Antonio (Javier Bardem), who made circles through the art world by way of his wild and violent divorce to Maria Elena (Penelope Cruz). After only a few glances, Juan Antonio invites the girls to a weekend away for sightseeing, wining, dining and sex. Free-spirited Cristina jumps at the chance, but Vicky, who’s about to be married to one of those boring-young-businessmen types, is extremely reluctant. Still, the magical weekend that follows sends the trio spinning into a mess of romance and violence. And the love affairs entangle even more when suicidal Maria Elena arrives on the scene.

    Allen has fashioned a sun-soaked fairy tale vision of Barcelona, a place where truly anything can happen. It is as much of a travelogue as one can make; every setting tops itself with its sheer intricacy and beauty. Allen and cinematographer Javier Aguirresarobe fill every day with soft sunlight and every night with passionate candlelight. Woody Allen’s Barcelona truly is paradise, and the rest of the film doesn’t disappoint. Utilizing a dry-voiced narrator that recalls high school health videos, the film unfolds as a document for audiences to ponder. Many perspectives on love and sex are thrown at us, and none of them perfect. Most telling is the relationship between Juan Antonio and Maria Elena, violent and vindictive yet they cannot stay away from each other. Maria Elena tells Cristina that it cannot be any other way; their love is missing something and must go unfilled and so it will always be romantic.

    All the musings about love appear to have had an effect on Allen. The sex scenes (yes, they’re there) are tender and intimate. Yet throughout all the lovemaking, he remains restrained and tasteful. A tender embrace between Johansson and Cruz, shot in the penetrable redness of a dark room, is tantalizing and intense but not graphic. You gradually become aware that Allen is going somewhere he’s never gone before with an easy and assured hand. How odd it seems that the year’s sexiest movie comes courtesy of the world’s most famous neurotic, but that’s simply the way it is.

    This marks Allen’s third collaboration with Scarlett Johansson, a pairing that has received much attention. But it is a match that suits Allen well; Johansson has never been more comfortable on screen, settling into her Cristina’s freewheeling but conflicted ways perfectly. Bardem eschews all the creepiness that brought him to public attention in last year’s No Country for Old Men by transforming into the kind of sexy Spaniard women dream of.

    But the real story belongs to Rebecca Hall and Penelope Cruz. In what should be her breakout role, Hall is simply remarkable; she could easily have become the trademark Woody Allen neurotic character in the hands of a lesser actress. But as Vicky’s conflicted feelings towards Juan Antonio and her upcoming marriage collide, Hall’s quiet turmoil makes the film real. And Cruz revels in her role as the wildly chaotic, self-destructive Maria Elena. She careens between violent rampages and gentle lovemaking as often as she switches languages. Maria Elena is a mess of a person, but with Cruz’s assured performance there are no doubts about her sincerity, however brutal it may be.

    When the film comes to a close and Vicky and Cristina post-Barcelona are compared with Vicky and Cristina pre-Barcelona, Allen makes his final, mature statement by avoiding making statements. He concedes that it is impossible to understand the complexities of love, no matter how many perspectives you observe. In telling the story of two girls who couldn’t be more different, Allen has found his voice in a way he hasn’t in decades. And if Johansson is Allen’s new Diane Keaton or Mia Farrow, so be it. If these are the results we get, we should all be thankful.

  • A Poem for Newlyweds

    I was at a wedding this weekend, which reminded me that, at least in Minnesota, summer is the same as wedding season.

    I’d only met the bride and groom a few months ago, after they’d already sent out the invitations. They were carrying a couch out from a duplex in Kenwood, trying to figure out how to fit it in their minivan; I was carrying my Lunds bags filled with books and DVDs into said duplex. I was to occupy the room that Dan, now a young husband, was vacating so that, for two months, he and his now-wife could live in mild sin.

    "Whuttup," I said.
    "Yo," they responded.
    "Word," I said.
    "Word," they agreed.

    My roommates – fine, eligible young men – are good buddies with Dan, and he still brews beer in our basement. It’s a pretty regular occurrence that I’ll come home from pretending to work at an Internet hub, and Dan is in our kitchen, washing out old bottles to re-use, or boiling down hops, or sampling a recent brew out of a wine glass. ("Whuttup," I’ll say…)

    Naturally we – my roommates, Dan, and I – end up drinking together a bit. Sometimes we accidentally get drunk. Which has led to some expedited bonding, to the point where it would have been awkward if I didn’t go to the wedding. (Upping the ante: a half dozen of Dan’s friends from the west coast were staying at our house this weekend.) And yet the invitations were gone.

    Dan and I get along, but are still not so close that I should be able to disrupt the entire invitation/R.S.V.P. protocol of classic wedding tradition simply because I live where he used to live. I got the sense that for a couple days there was a ‘what should do about Max’ conversation going on, though that may be have been my narcissism speaking and not actual people.

    It was decided that I would tag along as a ‘plus one’ of one of my roomies, whom I’ll call Robert, even though that’s not his name. Everyone was happy – the protocol was undisturbed, I’d scored an invite through normal means, and Rob didn’t have to scramble for a real date.

    Rob did, however, have to read a poem at the wedding.

    And he was totally cool with it – Rob’s been a poetry hound for some time now. Mornings, he sits in our living room with his headphones on, bobbing his neck and mouthing lyrics – except that his iPod is filled not with hip-hop, but with recordings of Wallace Stevens and T.S. Eliot reading their own poetry. No joke.

    And so an incredibly appropriate poem was selected. A good poem, that will partially be copied below, called "Epithalamion/Wedding Dawn," by local writer Michael Dennis Browne. Rob committed it to memory and everything. But then he found out that Mr. Dennis Browne was good friends of the groom’s family, and would be in attendance.

    For two days, Rob’s hands didn’t stop shaking.

    At five p.m. on Saturday, we were sitting in our assigned chairs at the Event Center on St. Anthony Main, Rob running the stanzas over in his mind, a crumpled facsimile of the poem in his back pocket. Soon an eminent-looking man crouched down beside his seat.

    "Whuttup," Rob said.
    "So what part of the poem are you reading?" asked Michael Dennis Browne.
    "The last part. Part three."
    "Ah," said the poet. "That’s the best part."

    I’m inclined to agree.

    "Epithalamion/Wedding Dawn" (Part 3)

    You must not be angry with this planet.
    For we are in a company
    whose music surpasses its pain.
    For I tell you, I sat in the dark, also,
    and the wedding light came onto my window,
    and the hills were cleared for me,
    and the field spread out in front of me, remarkable, like marble.
    And I thought; this is their day,
    how it breaks for them!
    O sir, the angel flies, even with bruises
    O lady, a bird can wash himself anywhere.
    The dawn that came up the day of your wedding
    took me in its hand like the creature I am;
    and I heard the dark that I came from
    whispering ‘Be silent.’
    And the dawn said ‘Sing.’
    And I found the best words I could find around me
    and came to your wedding.

  • American Conquistadors

    People averse to redundancy will cite the USA men’s basketball team’s sudden accuracy from the three-point line (12-25, after shooting 29% in the previous three games) and free-throw stripe (19-24, after going 69% before) as noteworthy factors in its 37-point rout of defending World Champion Spain, 119-82, on Saturday morning. But if accuracy is what you’re after, the most significant reasons for this thrashing are no different from the previous three this team has administered: Bloodhound defense that is quick, smart, relentless, opportunistic and synergistic. And unselfish, improvisational, transition-oriented offense that only very rarely opts for flash over efficiency.

    Saturday’s performance was so thoroughly sublime I can’t even criticize Jason Kidd, who had his best 13 minutes of the tournament by staying with Jose Calderon on the perimeter. Defensive quickness and aggression in transition have made Deron Williams and Chris Paul better options than Kidd in the backcourt, which is why both rank among the top five in minutes-played. But Kidd turned back the page a little bit with his lateral movement guarding Calderon. And he also was forced to take a shot, wide open for a layup on a breakaway.

    The performance that is likely to affect rotations in the near future was the play of Tayshaun Prince, who got some non-garbage time and drained three of four treys in addition to stolid defense. Not only does this push Michael Redd further into the background, it gives Coach K more length without backsliding on the team’s most significant virtue: the ability to extend crushing man-to-man defense out to the perimeter and still guard both the paint and the wings. For most of the tournament, LeBron has been the best inside-outside defensive guy, capable of both filling passing lanes and blocking shots attempted off the dribble. Prince brings a similar dynamic, and if he can also load up the three, opponents are going to have yet another matchup nightmare and yet another tough decision about how to defend this collection of superstars. The best three-point shooters for the USA through four games are Melo and Prince.

    Thus far, the USA has destroyed every team that has tried to pressure them. Their successful response has been an utterly simple formula: Paul and Williams need to avoid picking up their dribble (check) and get the ball to one of the swingmen like LeBron or Wade or Kobe (check), who either drive for a score, shoot an open jumper that usually scores, or, most often, dish down low to a man left unguarded by the manpower loss from the trap. LeBron had 8 assists Saturday, and it was probably his most careless game with the ball (he also had 4 turnovers).

    Meanwhile, at the other end, the USA’s defense forbids transition hoops. On a day of amazing stats, the jaw-dropper was zero fast break points for Spain, versus 32 for the USA.

    Aside from Prince, and general improvement from relative laggards like Kidd and Dwight Howard, there is a clearcut pattern developing on this team, as roles and identities are beginning to gel. And it contains a few surprises. Essentially, Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade have switched identities, relative to expectations going into the tournament. People imagined that Kobe would be everywhere, getting the key steal, the crucial bucket, and generally being the one to nip negative momentum in the bud. For D-Wade, people imagined there would be flashes of brilliance but also periods where he’d bite off more than he could chew, either trying to stick the dagger in with a shot or getting too antsy or just trying to figure out how to mesh his ball-dominant game in with a plethora of superstars. But Wade has played like people thought Kobe would perform, and vice versa.

    The lineup that Coach K counts on to generate separation is Williams and Paul in the backcourt, Wade and LeBron as the swingmen and Bosh in the pivot. After four games it is obvious that the Bosh-Wade-Paul-Williams substitutions improve the team. That’s not to denigrate Kobe or even Melo, Howard and Kidd, but the others are quicker defensively and just seem hungrier out on the floor. They–and especially Wade–demoralize opponents.

    A few more quick takes:

    * Horrible officiating in the first half. What happened to "letting them play" in the Olympics? The refs were especially protective of the 17-year old point guard Ricky Rubio, who went to the free throw line if he was breathed on during his first few stints.

    * The best opponent, by far, against the USA thus far has been burly forward Felipe Reyes, who shot 9-12, grabbed five offensive rebounds and also played decent defense. By contrast, I was shocked at how poorly Calderon played, but not at the lousy performance by Juan Navarro. The former is a future all star in the NBA; the latter was a clanking gunner during the games Memphis played the Wolves last years. Navarro also doesn’t play defense.

    * Finally, I’m going to use a comment by Strib writer Rachel Blount on Sunday to air a pet peeve of mine regarding writers who obviously either don’t like pro hoops or don’t understand pro hoops feeling free to parade their ignorance. Blount is hardly the biggest offender. In fact, in her piece, titled "U.S. stars also are slam-dunk ambassadors," she made the salient point that the Olympics benefit from the absence of the pro sports sideshow (she calls it NBA, but all major team sports have it); the stupid skits and contests and announcers and film clips and ads ads ads.

    But then Blount wrote: "They are playing a brand of ball far more entertaining than most NBA games." Well, if you lean on the side of jingoism and enjoy watching Americans outclass the world, yes, it is thoroughly enjoyable. And simply from an aesthetic standpoint, the USA men’s games have been things of beauty. But is this really preferable to the NBA? Would you want nothing but all-star games in all the sports that are played? Do we want to see Canada vs Russia or the Czech Republic in hockey, or a Red Wings-Stars finals?

    Blount elaborates, saying "The real appeal of this group shines when Chris Paul dishes off to Carmelo Anthony on the baseline for a jam, when Dwyane Wade strips the ball away to start a fast break, when Tayshaun Prince lofts a pass over the rim for LeBron James to throw it through." Well, wait a minute. Did Blount watch Chris Paul during the regular season or playoffs at all last season? Because he dished for more jams per game in those contests than he has in the Olympics. And why Wade stripping the ball from a hapless Angolan is somehow preferable to James Posey stripping Lamar Odom in the Finals, for example, is beyond me.

    Yeah, I know, she said "most" NBA games. But it still amounts to "Olympics are better hoops than the NBA," and is part of what has become stupid conventional wisdom among the general public over the past 20 years. It happens to the NBA far more than other team sports. How many times have we all heard–"I don’t watch the NBA until–insert either "second half," "fourth quarter," or "final few minutes" here–because that’s when they really start trying." That’s like me saying I don’t watch baseball until the 9th inning because that’s when the teams insert their best pitchers, or I don’t watch football until the final few minutes because that’s when teams really start trying to score with long passes and less time between plays.

    Long long ago, Rachel Blount covered the Minnesota Timberwolves as a beat for the Strib. She wasn’t terrible but she didn’t distinguish herself and didn’t last long. She went and found things that were more enjoyable for her to write–like the Olympics.

  • August 18, 2008: Trouble In The South

  • My Own Private Audio

    Sometimes it is better to show up late.

    I walked into the third annual Headphone Festival at the Rochester Art Center after it had begun and was immediately aware of the strange social space this event creates. The first floor atrium was divided in two, columns in the middle of the space wrapped in chic black plastic, separating the performance space from the galleries. On the other side of the plastic the room was dim and silent as dozens of people arrayed in chairs and couches, their headphones all plugged into jacks at their tables, their gaze transfixed by images on a video screen behind the tables where the performers were set up. The silence led me to think, momentarily, that I wasn’t late at all, and that the performances had yet to begin. Of course, it didn’t take long to remember that the event was only happening for those who were plugged in. Despite this realization, the silence itself was somehow more tangible than the experience in the audience’s headphones, leading non-participants and latecomers to behave as though entering a library, tiptoeing through the room as quietly as possible, whispering, as though the smallest sound might interrupt someone’s headphone experience. I found a seat at a table near the front, noisily.

    As I rummaged through my bag to find my headphones, I continued feeling compelled to be as quiet as possible, though I was surely the only person in the room who could hear. Finally I plugged myself in and could join the event. Oddly, to participate I had to leave a social space and enter a private space. With my headphones on I was in my own bubble. The sound quality was clear, with some interesting things happening in the stereo field. The music itself, however, seemed somewhat run of the mill: ambient electronic chill-out music. Pleasant enough, but I was somehow expecting something that would demand more of the listener, or engage more thoroughly with the strange situation the headphones created. It was unclear why music like this couldn’t simply come out of the PA speakers sitting at the front of the room, waiting for the late night dance party to begin.

    As I waited for something more interesting to happen, I realized that the headphones exerted a certain kind of pressure. I was getting antsy. I felt tethered to my table. My ears were too warm. I wanted to get a beer. I felt like wandering through the galleries. Of course, if I got up to do any of those things I would no longer be listening, even casually. Worse yet, as I walked through the silent room I would somehow be signaling to the audience and performer alike that I was not interested. I decided to get a beer and wait until the end of the performance to visit the upstairs galleries.

    In the galleries was an exhibition entitled Roman Signer: Works, described as "one of the largest and most comprehensive exhibitions" of the Swiss artist’s work to date in the United States. Signer’s work is deceptively simple, consisting of everyday objects arranged in unusual ways, with poetic, humorous and thought-provoking results. Bicycles and bicycle parts abound, perhaps a nod to Marcel Duchamp and Signer’s dada lineage. As I made my first pass through the galleries, I was reminded of Arthur Danto’s phrase "transfiguring the commonplace." Every work here could be described this way. The first work to stop me in my tracks and make clear that these were no mere one-liners was Bar, an installation featuring six large fans lying on their backs on the floor, suspended above which were six whiskey bottles lazily rotating in the breeze. The effect was beautiful, dreamlike, evocative of nothing so much as the tipsy euphoria that suspends reality, if only temporarily. I could have looked at it for hours. However, at this point I realized another strange artifact of the Headphone Festival; there was no way for me to know if the next performance had started. So, I headed back down to plug back in.

    Back in my audio bubble I found my mind wandering, considering the untapped potential of this strange social situation. Once again, the music was clear and played with some mild stereo effects, but nothing seemed to exploit the social space the event created. I found myself wondering what the real advantage of the headphones was, other than giving each audience member a private experience, ensuring the clarity of the audio and forcing audience members to pay attention. I wondered if it might be more interesting if this solitary experience was exaggerated. Perhaps we should all be sitting in cubicles, perhaps the event should happen online. I thought, too, that if this experience was inherently personal perhaps I should have more agency and involvement. Why could I not mix and pan the sounds myself? What if my movements through the architecture changed my auditory experience? What if the other audience members somehow changed my experience? What if this apparently personal space in the public sphere was shattered somehow? When were the artists going to do something that pushed at the limitations they had been given?

    After the next two performers had finished there was a brief panel discussion with the curator and performers, and I hoped that this might help answer some of my questions. Curator Scott Stulen discussed the genesis of Headphone Festivals, which developed in Europe as a response to noise ordinances. A clever and creative response, I thought, but that didn’t quite explain why one would exist where noise ordinances were not a problem. Most of the questions from the audience seemed to address technical issues, equipment, software, and the musical sounds themselves. This forced me into the uncomfortable position of having to ask a question. This is unlike me. Still, I wanted to know what the artists thought: Outside of the audio clarity, and especially given the social situation created, what is the advantage of a headphone festival when there are no noise ordinances to get around? Scott was the first to respond to my question, honestly and somewhat bravely admitting that, as a curator, one is always seeking novel ideas, and that this was an appeal. I was more disappointed by the artists’ responses, which all seemed to be about the audio experience, and that the headphones ensured the audience heard the music as they intended. One performer mentioned the greater possibility of playing with stereo effects, though I think these must have been lost on the many couples sharing a pair of iPod buds between them. Several mentioned the more private, contemplative space the headphones create. The devil’s advocate in me wondered, again, why that would not be true if this even streamed online, or for that matter, if I had a CD of the music presented? It seemed ironic, too, that they were simultaneously excited about complete artistic control, while suggesting there was something empowering for the audience here. I felt that the performers were somehow missing some of the potential of the situation.

    With a break in the music I headed back to the galleries, and became acutely aware of how many of Signer’s pieces seemed to be about potential, with sculptures that either embodied a frozen potential for action, or worked somehow as an index of an action that had already taken place. In Bulletproof Umbrella a red balloon is protected by the titular umbrella, leaving the viewer anxiously awaiting the shot; in Tunnel a gun lies on the ground, pointing through a tunnel created in a rug, with a target on the wall, again pregnant with anticipation. Two of the bicycle works suggest actions that have already taken place. In Bicycle and Wooden Beams the front wheel of a bicycle is lodged in a pile of 2"x2"s, displacing the center beams by a few inches, a futile and pathetic battering ram. Bicycle with Yellow Ribbon consists of a wood
    en shipping crate (the perfect size for a bicycle), wrapped in a yellow ribbon, which connects to a spool attached to the rear of a bicycle leaning on its kickstand nearby. This immediately brings to mind the image of Signer riding his bicycle around its crate, somehow capturing its captor, as well as the effort and costs of the journey the bike took from Switzerland. In the two pieces each entitled Wheel, potential is frozen in place. In the earlier iteration a bicycle wheel is lodged in cement, absurd and useless. In the more recent version, a wheel is lodged in a brick of ice, kept inside a freezer. The wheel is locked in place, its potential for movement stalled, but only temporarily, as the ice may melt leaving the wheel free to fall or roll.

    Another theme throughout Signer’s work was energy, specifically the transformation of energy into action, and how much energy it takes to make a small change occur. This was clear in Bicycle with Wooden Beams, as well as the huge freezer preserving the second Wheel, but clearer still in the video pieces Office Chair and Dot. In Dot the artist sits before a blank canvas at a plein air easel, paint brush in hand, while a fuse behind him burns. Eventually a firework explodes, startling the artist, who lurches forwards, leaving a dot on the canvas, the indexical remnant of the performance. In Office Chair Signer sits in a typical swiveling office chair, a firework in each hand. As the fireworks go off, spewing sparks and smoke, the chair spins several times and then comes to a standstill, a pathetic seeming reaction to a huge investment of energy. Outside of the wit present here, there is also a timely political reminder of how much energy we use for the most mundane activities. This was most evident in Solar Suitcase. In this work a suitcase covered with solar cells sat on the floor, illuminated by a large photographic lamp. A wire led from the suitcase to a tiny flashlight bulb, whose dim light was the apparent end result of this energy transfer. This work was simple, humorous and thought provoking all at once.

    Back at the headphone festival the final performer of the evening finally did something with the potential of the public/private space the event set up. Bryce Beverlin II was the first non-electronic performer of the evening, and I was initially skeptical about how a closely miked acoustic performance would translate to the headphone experience. Beverlin sat on the floor, surrounded by cymbals, cups, and a handful of other quotidian objects. To begin, he crumpled a piece of plastic wrap in front of the microphones, moving it left to right, playing with the strong stereo field of the headphones. Unlike the previous electronic panning, however, this had an element of strangeness; we could see that he was moving the plastic no more than 6 inches left and right, yet the sound moved from one stereo extreme to another in the headphones. The sound, too, was surprising, louder, more complicated and frankly more irritating than standard crinkling. As Beverlin began playing the objects on the floor with drumsticks their sounds, too, were transfigured by the close miking. Finally, the audience’s private audio space was invaded, as Beverlin began letting loose vocal murmurs, grunts, moans, gulps, slurps and breaths. At full volume in the headphones, seemingly happening in the center of one’s head, this was deeply disquieting and served to make the confluence of private and public space much more strange than the previous performers had. With this taste of the possible potential of the Headphone Festival I found myself looking forward to next year, and hoping more artists will rise to its challenge and push at its boundaries.

  • Mark Halperin of Time Magazine Shares His Perspective

    DISCUSSION
    Covering the 2008 Election: Perspective from the
    Frontlines

    As the Republican National Convention gears up to hit our fair
    cities with a conservative onslaught in a couple of weeks, and the election
    looms, so come many politically-themed events of all shapes, sizes and colors.
    The St. Paul Public Library’s Saint Paul-itics leads the way with a
    series of intelligent events designed to educate and inform voters. Tonight’s
    edition features Mark Halperin,
    editor-at-large and senior political analyst for TIME, who will discuss his work
    covering politics, elections and debates for the magazine and TIME.com. This also happens to be home to Halperin’s popular website The
    Page    , which features the latest political stories, campaign ads, TV
    clips, videos and campaign reactions from every news source, along with his own
    analysis. Author of The Undecided Voter’s Guide to the Next
    President    , and co-author of The Way to Win: Taking the White
    House in 2008    , Halperin will share wisdom, wit and opinons tonight at Metro
    State University. Book signing to follow. Free tickets
    available online    .

    7pm, Metro State University Founders Hall, 700 East
    7th Street, St. Paul, Free

    MUSIC
    Rodrigo y Gabriela

    Tonight the Ave welcomes Rodrigo Sánchez and Gabriela Quintero aka
    Rodrigo y Gabriela – a
    charmingly novel duo from Mexico who are famous for playing covers of heavy metal
    songs on acoustic guitars. Sound cheesey? Well, maybe a little, but the fact
    that they are actually good, really
    good,     helps immensely. An impressive cover band doesn’t just mimic a
    familiar song, they spin it into something completely unexpected. Not unlike one
    of my favorite loungey cover acts Nouvelle Vauge, Rodrigo y
    Gabriela apply their distinct style to music they love. Imagine Metallica’s Orion adapted into a dueling of nimble finger picking, or
    an acoustic version of Stairway to Heaven infused
    with latin pizzaz – and you have Rodrigo y Gabriela. The duo also plays
    original material that will knock your socks off, and tonight’s show will definitely do just that.

    7:30pm, First Avenue, 701 1st Avenue N, Minneapolis, $28 Adv, $30 Door

    THEATER
    Little House on the Prairie

    In a Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants-kind of
    way, Little House is a female
    force. The musical’s creative crew is comprised entirely of women. And among the
    cast, the Ingalls ladies prove a close bunch, if often due to necessity of
    keeping warm on the bitter plain. That’s not to say Little House
    doesn’t offer up something for those men in the audience. Scenes showcasing
    pioneers’ hardships will resonate with any man balancing the lure of adventure
    with responsibilities of family and home life. Charles "Pa" Ingalls is a
    proud man seeking not fortune, but sustenance. Steve Blanchard, as Charles,
    raises his fist and curses the sky more than once. But he is the foundation upon
    which the family can rest it’s weary, frontier blues; with a pluck of his
    fiddle, the group is enlivened and ready to face yet another disaster. The true
    backbone of the family, what Pa says, goes. -Jill
    Yablonski

    Read the full review HERE.

    While tickets aren’t available for tonight, I have it on good
    authority that there are some tix still out
    there     for future performances – but you better step to it, because they
    definitely won’t last long!

    Times Vary, Guthrie Theater, 818 2nd Avenue S, Downtown Minneapolis

  • Vicky's Place

    If I hadn’t been surfing the web, I would never have run
    across the website of The Bush Chicken, the online magazine of Minnesota’s
    Liberian community, and then I also would never have heard of Vicky’s Place. The ad in the Bush Chicken looked promising, though – it promised
    fufu and soup, torborgee, attieke, fried rice and more. With a little more
    surfing, I discovered Vicky’s website,
    and a lot more interesting-sounding dishes – lots of standard American fare,
    ranging from pancakes and French toast to chicken wings and hoagies and daily
    Liberian specials.

    So I jumped in my car and headed up to Brooklyn Park for
    lunch – I almost drove past Vicky’s – from the outside, it looks at first like
    an abandoned gas station. But the sign in the window said open, so I walked
    into a brightly lit little dining room with silk flowers on the table and a big
    flatscreen TV tuned to As the World Turns. The only person in the restaurant
    was Vicky Pour herself. I told her that I wanted to try some Liberian food, and
    she told me to have a seat.

    Within a few minutes, she returned with the first course – a
    dish of parboiled rice, and a bowl of mixed meats (chicken, beef and smoked
    turkey) in a thick green palaver sauce. Vicky said it was a mixture of okra and
    spinach, which comes close to describing the texture, but I am not sure about
    the flavorings – except that it reminded me a bit of a Creole file gumbo
    (another dish with west African roots). It was delicious.

    Wikipedia describes palaver sauce as:

    "a type of stew widely eaten in West Africa,
    including Ghana, Liberia, Sierra
    Leone and Nigeria.The
    word palaver comes from the Portuguese language and means a talk, lengthy
    debate or quarrel.
    It is unclear how this led to the name of the stew.
    One theory is that when the stew was first made, with long, ropey greens,
    people would start quarrels by slapping each other with the greens from their
    stew."

    Next came a bowl of fufu, a rubbery white ball of cooked
    starch (made from plantain, according to Vicky) accompanied by a bowl of pepper
    soup, a clear but very flavorful broth with the same meats as the palaver
    sauce. Vicky explained that in Liberia, it’s actually quite spicy, but she
    serves a milder version in Minnesota, with hot pepper sauce on the side. Not
    knowing any better, I ate the fufu with a spoon, spooning a little soup into
    the bowl with the fufu, then cutting off a little fufu, and eating them together.
    I later learned (again thanks to Wikipedia) that it is more customary to pinch
    off a little ball of the fufu, make an indentation in the dough, and fill it
    with the soup.

    At any rate, definitely worth a visit – on Sundays, Vicky
    offers an all-you-can-eat Sunday brunch for $8.99.

    Vicky’s Place, 7648 Humboldt Ave. N., Brooklyn Park, 763-560-9912

    If Brooklyn Park is too far a drive, you can find some
    similar West African dishes at Three Crowns Nigerian restaurant, 2817 Lyndale
    Ave S., Minneapolis, (612) 813-4444. Also recommended.

     

  • Roadkill Bikinis

    Above: I found a roadkill fashion site. Lovely.

    My post on the abuse of automotive icons at church camps has turned up the most amazing things.

    I was informed (by a source who will remain annoymous) that church camps have the strangest of hazing rites (and here you think writing about cars leads to nothing more than a surge of testosterone).

    Above: Boots, not a bikini, but you get the idea. The fur is dyed. Killer.

    For example, one unamed former camper/counselor informed me that at a camp deep in the woods of some unamed forest (let’s say it’s out East to protect the innocent and avoid the wrath of PETA) that the very apogee of leadership at this said camp invovled winning the "Yuck, Yuck, Up Chuck" award for most disgusting costume.

    Apparently this invovled making bikinis from any manner of dipsoable hygeine products and, for a pure sartorial flouish, the skins of freshly killed animals (I don not believe this invovled sacrifice).

    How funny is that?

    While a small coeterie of depraved artists in the world’s fashion capitals conjure up the most revolting ideas (child exploitation, sex with statues, heroin for lunch) a few kids at church camp have out-done them.

    Under the guise of God.

    Old Testament style.