Category: Blog Post

  • Foolish Fire

    The small river town where I lived and worked for a time was in a pretty and neglected part of the state. When I first moved down there I used to tell friends that it was as if I’d relocated to a remote little corner of some obscure European country. There were rolling, wooded hills, streams and creeks, and spectacular limestone bluffs in every direction.

    The town was situated in a picturesque bowl, and the main road in and out took you up and over the bluffs that surrounded the place. A mile or so outside of town to the east there was one dirt road that would take you north and down into a long valley where many of the county’s Amish farmers lived tucked quietly away. That road was seldom traveled by anyone but the Amish in their black buggies, although rumor had it that teenagers had been going back in there at night for years, looking for privacy and darkness.

    There was certainly darkness back there. I remember shortly after I’d come to town, a co-worker had driven me out to the valley one night and we had turned off our lights and parked at the top of the road leading down. I was startled, actually, to see all that darkness stretching away to the north. There wasn’t a single light anywhere in the valley, and beyond it you could see the halo of over-light from a town maybe ten miles away over the next bluff.

    At the western edge of the valley there was a good-sized marsh, a shallow, boggy, backwater thing congested with weeds and cattails. Early one fall I heard the rumor in town that some teenagers had encountered in this marsh a handful of giant geese that glowed with some internal light. They had seen these luminous geese, I was told, moving slowly through the reeds in the darkness.

    This, of course, was the sort of rumor you’ll hear all the time in a small town, although the majority of them aren’t nearly so fanciful. The story persisted for a week or two, however, and though most of the older residents seemed to think it made a nice addition to local folklore and were content to leave it at that, I also know some folks made the trek back into the valley to investigate but turned up nothing.

    Then, a month or so later, a local character by the name of Lum Hoversten bagged a six-point albino buck just outside town. Lum made the newspapers and tv stations clear up to the Twin Cities, and some Rochester banker showed up and wrote Lum a $10,000 check for the albino deer, and all of a sudden Lum was something of a celebrity around town. Lum worked for his old man, Clayton, down at the John Deere dealership, and he loved to talk. If an albino deer was worth $10,000, he said, then one of those geese back in the Amish valley ought to make him a rich man. He said it with a smile on his face, but you never could tell with Lum.

    Around this same time I had gone over to a neighboring community to a livestock auction. Some of the farmers were talking about the business with Lum Hoversten and the albino deer, and the talk eventually worked its way around to the geese.

    "You gotta remember, fellas, that this is Lum Hoversten talking," somebody said. "Show me a reliable man who’s actually seen these geese. An albino deer is one thing, but geese that glow in the dark is quite another."

    There were several Amish farmers from our area on hand, and one of the guys from our little group collared one of them on his way out and asked him about the stories. The Amish fellow actually chuckled. "When it’s dark in the valley, it’s dark," he said.

    "So you haven’t seen these geese?" someone asked.

    "I haven’t seen them," he said, and then he smiled, shrugged, and went on his way.

    The next week I had lunch with an old gentleman who was regarded as the local scholar and historian. We were at the Copper Cup downtown, and were surrounded by farmers nodding their feed caps over the daily special.

    My lunch companion was 73-years-old and had lived in the area most of his life.

    "I certainly know the valley in question," he told me. "And I suppose I’ve been back there a few times. I do find these stories interesting on some level, but not terribly surprising. I suppose it’s typical of each generation to create its own little mythologies to give this place some semblance of romance or intrigue."

    I asked him in he was inclined to find the stories at all believable.

    "I can’t say I find them believable or unbelievable," he said. "But I haven’t seen the geese, I’ll say that, and I don’t suppose I’m likely to. And I haven’t heard from anyone who has seen them, although that may be due more to the fact that these people" –and here he indicated the locals with a sweep of his hand– "aren’t the sort to go mucking around in the dark looking for things they’ve already decided they don’t believe in. And the fact that these geese allegedly are back there in that particular valley contributes, I’m sure, to the reluctance of most older people to look much further into the story; for as long as I can remember people have respected the privacy of the Amish in the valley. I can certainly tell you that I’ve never felt like I have any business back there."

    He did admit that there were things about the story he found fascinating. "The first thing a rational man thinks of when he hears these stories is the ignus fatuus. Do you know it? The name means ‘foolish fire,’ and the phenomenon is also commonly known as the ‘Will-o-the-Whisp’ or, more obscurely, feu follet. At any rate, the ignus fatuus is phosphorescence, similar in appearance to a gas flame, that swirls around over marshy ground. It’s apparently caused by the spontaneous combustion of gases from decaying vegetable matter."

    "You think that’s it?" I said.

    He shrugged. "I don’t know that there is an it," he said. "But I’ve always been fascinated by the other stories that have been offered to explain the phenomenon through the years. According to Russian folklore, for instance, these ‘foolish fires’ were the spirits of stillborn children. Curiously enough, somewhere else in folklore there is another similar legend associated with geese. It was once believed –and perhaps somewhere it still is– that the noise of geese in flight issued from the souls of unbaptized children wandering the earth until Judgment Day."

    I asked him what he thought someone would find if they were to make a serious effort to prove the existence of these geese.

    "Oh, God, I have no idea," he said. "What does anyone ever find who goes tramping around in the darkness looking for fires or phantoms?"

    I shouldn’t have been there that night. I had come to town six years earlier, a kid just out of college and looking to pay his dues at a small town newspaper. Once there and settled in, though, I discovered that I liked the town, liked the people, liked the pace of life. The paper was a twice-a-week grab bag with a circulation of under a thousand. The job called for lots of coverage of community events, school board meetings, and high school sports. The pay was next to nothing, but so was the cost of living.

    It certainly wasn’t something I thought I’d stick with. But there I was, and one day Lum Hoversten pulled me aside downtown and mentioned all hush-hush that he was going down into the valley after the geese and thought I might like the story. The whole thing had pretty much died down in recent weeks, so I was somewhat taken aback.

    "What exactly do you think you’re going to do?" I asked him.

    "Catch a goose," Lum said, smiling.

    I laughed. "I’ll tell you what," I said. "When you’ve got one of those geese in your possession, you bring it by the office and I’ll do a great big story."

    "Listen," Lum said. "I don’t want this all over town, but I was down there last night and I saw them with my own eyes. Walked right out to the edge of the m
    arsh. Ask Beryl Wyant, he was with me. Five of ’em. Looked just like a bunch of floating lanterns."

    "Hell, Lum," I said.

    "It would be a big mistake if you didn’t come along," he said. "It’ll be just you and me and Beryl. This is the kind of story that’ll make us all famous."

    Lum Hoversten was a big man, top-heavy, presumably hypertensive, the sort of guy who sweated when he whistled. He had a lot of energy, and even standing still he suggested a big man in motion.

    "We’re going down tomorrow night, provided it doesn’t rain," he said. "We’ll swing by your place around ten o’clock."

    It was a clear night, with smoky, swirling strands of ground fog beginning to settle and move around in the valley. Lum had driven down between two fields to the edge of a small stand of trees. Just on the other side of the stand of trees was the marsh. It was no more than fifty yards down a slight rise to the edge of the water. Beryl and I were instructed to wait by the car so as not to spook the geese. From the muddy side road we’d been able to make out scattered luminous somethings trembling within the ground fog that had settled on the surface of the marsh.

    Lum, clad entirely in black and wearing only stockings on his feet, crept away through the trees. I got my camera out of the backseat and monkeyed with the lens while Beryl leaned against the hood and drank a beer. We had been waiting perhaps twenty minutes when we heard a commotion down by the water, and a moment later we saw Lum lurch into view. The goose in his arms was indeed glowing, and Lum was struggling to subdue it even as he ran. He was bowed under the burden, and was hunch-hurrying through the brush, stumbling and cursing and weaving all over the place like a man who was shit-faced drunk and trying desperately to keep his pants from falling down.

    It was dark, of course, and there was all sorts of brush underfoot. As he got closer we could hear Lum’s wheezing, and he was still wrestling with the struggling goose, which in his arms made no sound other than the damp, papery fwoop-fwoop of its furiously treading wings. Lum veered suddenly in our direction and we could see the goose heaving in his arms and paddling desperately with its legs. Beside me I was aware of Beryl chuckling nervously and saying things like "Jesus H. Christ!" and "Goddamn, boy, goddamn!" I somehow recovered from the initial shock and managed to raise the camera to my eye and snap some photos just as the light started peeling away from the goose. It was as if sparks or fragments of bright light were spitting and swirling from Lum’s arms and flowing out into his wake; almost, I later thought, like he had been attempting to transport a blazing log through the woods in the scoop of a shovel. The light was just shattering, and with each flap of its wings the goose was shaking off the light like a wet dog shaking off water.

    It was a sight at once horrifying and breathtaking, the luminous particles scattering and fading in the darkness, some of them drifting for a time on the breeze and creeping through the trees. The light from the goose was fading so rapidly that after a couple of moments the creature in Lum’s arms was visible only in this faint, ghostly outline.

    Lum finally staggered into the clearing, completely out of breath and mumbling something I couldn’t make out. The wings of the goose were now quiet, and as Lum approached the car the last embers in his arms faded away until he was moving again in complete darkness. He flopped the goose down before us and it rolled over in the grass with a sound like a water balloon. Lum fell forward against the fender of the car and leaned there for a minute, catching his breath. After a moment he craned his neck and looked back under his arm at his prize in the grass.

    "Shit," he said. "It’s just a goose."

    "Was," Beryl said. I bent down for a closer look and Beryl nudged it with his boot. "Look dead to you?" he asked.

    "Yes," I said.

    We all stood there for awhile, mostly trying to ignore the goose in the grass, and after a time Beryl and I silently followed Lum back through the trees to the edge of the marsh, where we found nothing but darkness. There were no signs of geese, luminous or otherwise.

    I suppose it’s like this: You see things sometimes in this world and after a certain amount of time passes you’re no longer sure anymore what it was you saw. I know I can tell you that after a few days I could no longer say with any certainty whether or not I had entirely imagined the things that I’ve just recounted. Even after all these years, I still can’t say. I do know that the photos I took that night were either entirely washed out, too blurry to be conclusive, or revealed nothing but a dark chaos of brush. I like to think I’m a decent photographer, but there isn’t even one of those pictures that you could point to and say, "There’s Lum Hoversten," let alone "There’s Lum Hoversten with a goose in his arms."

    To the best of my knowledge nobody ever saw the geese again, and the events of that night pretty quickly became nothing but another colorful local story.

    For years, much to Lum’s consternation, I refused to corroborate any of the aspects of his story or confirm my role in it. Somewhat to my surprise, I guess, and for reasons I can only guess at, Beryl Wyant also chose to keep his mouth shut, at least publicly. I’ve no doubt, however, that Lum’s still telling the story even now.

     

  • Shall I Read or Look at Naked Ladies?

    BOOKS
    All Shall Be Well; And All Shall Be Well; And All Manner of Things Shall Be Well

    The history of literature—up to and including the stuff piled on the
    new arrivals tables at your local bookstore—is crammed with oddballs
    and anachronisms. That said, it’s still a rare novel that can take such
    raw materials and make something truly funny, compelling, and moving
    out of them. Based on the early reports, Tod Wodicka’s
    debut novel—which features a tunic-wearing medieval re-enactor as a
    protagonist—consistently hits all the right grace notes. British
    reviews have consistently remarked on both the book’s comedy and its
    compassion, and All Shall Be Well has drawn comparisons to both Don Quixote and the novels of Charles Portis. It doesn’t get much more promising than that. —Brad Zellar

    Available today in bookstores.

    BOOKS & AUTHORS
    Hated Ideas and the American Civil War Press

    Do all ideas deserve protection? Can and should people say or even
    publish whatever is on their mind? Should there be some kind of limit
    to free speech? Author, media historian, professor Hazel
    Dicken-Garcia
    will be addressing these tough questions today, as she discusses the
    content of her new book, Hated Ideas and the American Civil War Press.
    This book asserts that hated ideas (such as abolitionism and slavery
    during the American Civil War) are sometimes valuable ideas. She
    explores the controversial world of news media and the coverage of
    hated ideas. Dicken-Garcia proves that history is alive and that there
    is a lot to learn from it. What do you think? Should the First
    Amendment be static? —Kate Leibfried

    4 p.m., University of Minnesota Bookstore, Coffman Memorial Union, 300 Washington Ave. S.E., Minneapolis; 612-626-0559; free.

    ART
    Body Songs

    Sometime you just have to see an exhibit because the title is far too seductive to pass up. Body Songs. Body songs. In this case, quite literally, body songs. The exhibit, which opened yesterday (with an official reception to follow on Friday), features a 25-year retrospective (1967 to 1991) of Judith Roode’s articulate drawings of the female figure. Through them, Roode addresses the usual (and yet compelling) dichotomies of public/private, exterior/interior, naked/clothed, mind/body, and power/opression. But above and beyond any deep analysis you might draw from viewing the exhibit, you should simply enjoy — enjoy the sheer beauty of the form.

    8 a.m. – 8 p.m., The Catherine G. Murphy Gallery, 2004 Randolph Ave., College of St. Catherine, St. Paul; 651-690-6644.

  • What You're Tasting When You Kiss

    It’s a slippery, messy business, kissing. Two tongues meetings in one person’s mouth, touching and rolling and wrestling like snakes. The transfer of saliva. The hot, warm breath vaporous with what the kisser has most recently consumed.

    Not only that, even strangers do it. People who’ve only just met in bars; partygoers on New Year’s Eve; returning soldiers and can-can girls.

    The fact is, even those of us who are married, living and trading body fluids with the loves of our lives are rather irrational. I mean, would you use your spouse’s toothbrush? Soiled strand of dental floss? Already chewed gum?

    Of course not! And yet, we invade the oral — and other — cavities of our partners quite whimsically. No matter how we think it through, the strangeness of kissing as a modern-day practice, we keep on doing it. Why? Well, it turns out scientists have an answer. It’s because we’re hard-wired to taste our mate’s body chemicals — essentially, through their spit.

    I’m sorry. You’d like me to put a nice veneer on this. But the fact is, according to an article called Why We Love in the January 28 issue of TIME, we’re actually "sampling" the major histocompatibility complex (MHC) of a person when we kiss. This is a gene family involved in tissue rejection, and it’s important that we mate with people whose MHC is different from our own.

    "Conceive a child with a person whose MHC is too similar to your own, and the risk increases that the womb will expel the fetus," writes Jeffrey Kluger in TIME. "Find a partner with sufficiently difference MHC, and you’re likelier to carry a baby to term."

    So you see? Kissing is a biological process, intended to help us propogate the species. Now it all makes sense. . . .

    Well actually, it does. It makes far more sense than Valentine’s Day, which is an incredibly manipulative and commercial annual event (second only to Mother’s Day in this respect). Cupid would have us kissing and doing all the wonderfully irrational natural things that come next. Nevertheless, we persist in celebrating this stupid holiday [myself included] with overpriced flowers and cards and shiny red things ranging from candy boxes to cars.

    My colleague, Jeremy Iggers, recently wrote about Valentine’s Day dinners, and I’d like to add a few suggestions of my own.

    Chef Jon Radle at Grand Cafe is offering a prix fixe dinner featuring gnocchi with braised leek cream; pickled beet and watercress salad; a choice of roasted prime rib, butter poached lobster, or pan-fried polenta; and a malted chocolate tartlet or coconut-cardamom trifle. The price is $55 per person, $85 per person with a flight of suggested wines.

    With its French-bistro-by-the-Seine sort of feel, Barbette is a romantic place to kiss in a dark corner any night of the year. But on V-Day, you can get a four-course meal for $42. Beet and walnut soup; stuffed quail on Swiss chard or pistachio-crusted goat cheese; cream cheese stuffed beef tenderloin or seared scallops or wild mushroom risotto; and petit fours with hot chocolate.

    Now, I have to admit, I’m throwing this last one in simply for the name: Give the treat of meat on Valentine’s Day. It’s a dinner going on at Fogo de Chao Brazilian Steakhouse, which promises to "shower" guests with "15 savory cuts of delicious meat." Personally, I’ve never been to Fogo de Chao and I’m not a big meat-eater. But with messaging like that, even I’m tempted to give it a try.

  • Claude Wampler: What Just Happened?

    There’s some interesting discussion over at the Walker blogs concerning the
    performance career ender that was staged, just this past weekend, by
    Claude Wampler. I saw the show on Friday but, sadly, didn’t stick around for
    the Q&A, which sounds to have been very tense. Truth be told, my date was
    so angry as to be agitated; after the show, he wanted a drink in his hands, stat!
    So did I, of course, except I found myself more amused by the thing … But I’d been lucky
    enough to notice, as we waited for the house to open, that there were likely "plants"
    among the audience members. How and why? Because there were too many folks with
    asymmetrical haircuts, and too many wearing shiny fabrics–that’s why. The "real"
    audience members were swathed in wool and down parkas. (It was freakin’ cold
    outside.)

    According to some of the folks posting at the Walker
    blogs, Wampler made a [condescending?] statement at the Q&A regarding the
    difference between NYC and Minneapolis
    audiences. Well, we’re quieter, for one. But we probably don’t dress as
    often in metallics, either. By show’s end, some of the plants were up and
    dancing in the aisles. Others were tossing light-up toys onstage. My suspicions
    were confirmed.

    In case you missed it, Wampler basically staged a band
    practice. From beginning to end, the frontman had to communicate his vision for a
    song to his bandmates. But a visual trick was employed: images of the trio were projected onstage. The lead singer’s image fell onto a screen, so his remained crisp. But in the cases of the keyboardist
    and drummer, smoke was occasionally pumped into the vicinities of their
    instruments–and so, their ghost-like images would materialize, every now and
    again, on the canvas of that haze.

    But, going back to my original point: the real story is that the audience was "seeded," or full of planted performers. These folks
    hooted and, in some cases, heckled and behaved all-around badly, which inspired
    imitative behaviors from others. For example, when the lead-singer character
    made a funny comment about how the band must "finesse" its way out of his song (presumably by playing fancily),
    my date shouted (seemingly with glee): "Sure do!"

    And that, friends, made the whole thing worth it–the fact
    that my well-behaved friend felt compelled to act in such a dramatic way, and the
    fact that he felt SAFE enough to do so. In other words, Wampler tinkered with
    the audience/performer dynamic to great success. Sure, her show was repetitive,
    perhaps even boring (although I must admit to being amused by the rock-n-roll clichés). But I appreciated being jolted out of my expectations
    and, for once, at a theater, having absolutely no fucking idea what was going
    on. Sweet chaos. As I exited the theater that night, I turned to an usher
    and asked (also with glee): "What just happened?" Then I went to the bar with my friend and
    enjoyed one of the most spirited conversations I’ve had about art in a long, long while.

     

  • The Royal Robes (A Retake)

     

    The above outfit is worn by the title character in the
    just-opened play, God Save Gertrude, a punk rock-meets-theater riff that was
    penned by a local ‘wright and is, in fact, loosely inspired by Hamlet’s mother (cuz
    Ophelia is played out, donchyaknow). I suspect the character, a singer, has
    something in common with Patti Smith, too, although that’s just an educated
    guess based off the press release. I haven’t yet seen the play, but plan to
    next weekend.

     

    In any case, Laura Fulk, a local fashion designer with, what
    I would call, an avant-and/or-punk rock aesthetic, designed the getup. Now, because
    we have this so-called thriving theater scene, the Twin Cities are full of great
    professional costume designers. (For example: Sonya Berlovitz, whom I used to
    know at Theatre de la Jeune Lune, is just scary brilliant.) But I, for one,
    appreciate that, in this instance, the playwright, Deborah Stein, reached out
    to a fashion designer. I like to see artists venturing from their silos. And
    this play–a fashion meets theater meets punk rock mash-up–seems to spread across many forms.

  • Dinner and a Show? – Valentines Dining

    Do you have any favorites places that offer live
    entertainment — preferably cheap or free — along with food? I am starting to compile a list, and so far I have:

    Bluegrass and old-time music at Dulono’s Pizza
    Occasional concerts at Kramarczuk’s (like the Tamburitze
    Orchestra)

    Karaoke at Pancho Villa

    Jazz and more, weekends at Café Maude

    Rhonda Laurie and her trio, Wednesdays at Cave Vin

    Friday night jazz at Crave in Edina

    Speaking of cheap dates, the Valentine’s Day, here are a
    couple of options that won’t break the bank:

    From Valentine’s Day through Sunday, February 17, Joe’s Garage is offering "Valentine for the common
    man (and woman)" : platters for two that range from wild rice meatloaf or
    buttermilk fried chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy (both $20) to walleye
    or barbecued ribs for $25, or a grilled beef sirloin with sundried tomato
    butter, sauteed mushrooms and fries for $30. And you can add a bottle of Red
    Truck Red or White Truck White for $15.

    Bryant Lake Bowl, famous for its
    Monday night Cheap Date Night dinners for two that includes two entrees, a bottle of wine or
    a couple of beers, and a game of bowling for $28, is going (slightly) upscale for
    Valentines Day with a Not so Cheap Date Night: they are adding soup or salad, and raising the price to $38. And if you want to make it a really memorable evening, you can enjoy your dinner in the adjacent BLB theater, where Joseph Scrimshaw will be performing an all-new version of his interactive romantic comedy, Adventures in Mating. Shows are at 7 and 10 p.m., and the doors open an hour earlier – tickets are $12, or $10 with a Fringe Festival button.

     

  • The Three Pointer: A "W" With Character

    Copyright 2008 NBAE (Photo by David Sherman/NBAE via Getty Images)

    Game #43, Home Game #20: New Jersey 95, Minnesota 98

    Season record: 8-35

    1. Carried By Jefferson

    For three quarters tonight, the Timberwolves were more of a one-man team than in any competitive game they have played this season. Al Jefferson had 33 points, more than half of the Wolves’ team total of 64. Rashad McCants was the only other Timberwolf in double figures, with 13, Jefferson had 13 rebounds, nearly half the team’s 27, with Ryan Gomes second with 4. Jefferson had gone to the free throw line a dozen times, making 9. No one else on the team had visited the charity stripe.

    Yet heading into that fourth quarter, Minnesota was down by double-digits, 74-64. Jefferson was obviously dominant; just as obviously, productive complements were hard to come by.

    In that final, game-changing period, however, the Wolves’ reared up and outscored New Jersey 34-21 to steal this game. What’s more, the theft was legit–this was the fifth straight quality game for Randy Wittman’s ballclub, and the Nets came into the Target Center already having lost eight in a row. Minnesota claimed this W the "right" way: With grit and ingenuity, and confidence, the ingredients of character and resilience. A new dynamic took hold: Jefferson scored only 7 of those 34 points, and made only 1 of the 8 field goals of that period. After scoring 31 points in the game’s first 36 minutes, the non-Jeffersons racked up 27 in the final 12.

    We’ll get to those vital contributions in a moment. This first point appropriately belongs to Jefferson. Five times tonight Big Al muscled the ball through the hoop while being fouled in the paint. Every single time he nailed the free throw to complete the three-point play. Only four of his 13 baskets were jumpers; two were tip-ins and 7 were lay-ups. A whopping 19 of his career high (and Wolves’ season high) 40 points were a direct result of his 8 offensive rebounds. In other words, on his on, Jefferson registered five treys and 19 second-chance points.

    True to form, he started badly on defense. His failure to box out led to an easy Richard Jefferson putback, then good-looking rookie Sean Williams slammed home a pair of dunks in which Big Al was a step slow. Teammate Rashad McCants picked up his second foul and went to the bench just 2:37 into the game covering up what appeared to be another blown Jefferson assignment.

    But even here, Jefferson’s game showed steady improvement. It helped that Williams, while incredibly talented, is still raw; that Josh Boone boasts the skills of a certified journeyman; and that Jason Collins doesn’t look to shoot. Nevertheless, Jefferson became increasingly active as the game went along, both is bodying up his man down low, rotating over in the paint, and deterring penetration (his pick and roll defense is still suspect). Throw in a couple of blocks, a steal and three big assists, and you’ve got an all-star caliber performance. They haven’t been as frequent as Wolves’ boosters claim, which is all the more reason to celebrate the ones that do occur.

    2. Anatomy Of A Comeback

    One of the key turning points in this game actually occurred just four minutes into the second half. Tired of watching McCants get roasted by New Jersey’s Richard Jefferson, Wittman used the occasion of Marko Jaric’s fourth foul to go with a larger lineup, subbing in Craig Smith for Jaric, a move that slid Ryan Gomes down to small forward to guard Jefferson and McCants down to shooting guard to cover Vince Carter. At the time, Richard Jefferson had 27 points in 18 minutes of action, including 10-14 FG. He scored just a single point (0-3FG, 1-2FT) the rest of the third quarter. Gomes’s entire third quarter line looks like this: one foul in 10:28. And yet he was plus +4, devoting himself to shutting down New Jersey’s biggest threat. The ability of the Wolves to negate one Jefferson while the Nets couldn’t negate another Jefferson played a centra role in this comeback.

    Meanwhile, freed of getting schooled by Jefferson and with Vince Carter now guarding him, McCants immediately erupted for 7 points in the first 1:27 after Wittman changed the lineup. The Wolves hacked a double-digit deficit down to 2 with 4:30 left to go in the third before Jason Kidd temporarily filled the void left by Richard Jefferson being shut down, nailing three treys in the next 2:44 (nearly the entire amount of his 11 point game) to boost the lead back to ten heading into the final quarter.

    No matter: The tone had been set. Jefferson went 1-8 FG for the game after Wittman went big. And on offense, the kamikaze 34 point final period was sparked by a pair of differently-styled swingmen, Corey Brewer and Gerald Green. I have ripped on the latter more than a little, but with the possible exception of the Indiana game, this is the best he’s looked in terms of his all-around contribution to a victory thus far this year. You expect two treys every now and then from the offensively volatile GG. The bonus here was a pair of steals from someone who has been a perpetually befuddled defender, not to mention some tenacious on-ball coverage of both Jefferson and Carter. Wittman often goes to a zone to protect against Green’s lapses on D. But when Gomes came in for GG with 5:04 to play, Green’s performance at both ends of the court had helped whittle a 13-point deficit down to 6 in less than six minutes’ time.

    Brewer likewise had something to do with that surge, while delivering his second impressive game in a row–especially in the 4th quarter. The comparison to last year’s top draft pick–"4th quarter Foye"–is apt in that, even in light of his disastrous 5-second out of bounds violation against Boston, Brewer is not rattled by crunchtime pressure. On the contrary: Like Foye, playing in a tight game down the homestretch seems to trigger confident memories of his successful college program, and his leadership role in it. Playing against a squad renowned for a lightning-quick trio now past their primes–Jefferson-Kidd-Carter–Brewer simply outhustled everyone on the floor; snatching offensive rebounds and twice flying down the court in transition fast enough that New Jersey had no choice but to foul him. On a night when Vince Carter frequently burned him on high pick-and-roll jumpers, it was Brewer’s offense that redeemed him, specifically three offensive rebounds and 6-6 FT that gave him a team-high 8 points in the final period. He also led the way in terms of raw passion, thrusting his fist out in triumph after getting fouled or when rugged scrums he helped initiate enabled the Wolves to secure another possession on the ball going out of bounds.

    Yet despite the heroics of Green and Brewer, the Wolves were still down 7 with 1:19 to play. *This* is where the character showed, where a callow team finally gelling after nearly three solid months of embarrassing ineptitude snatched the game from a group of desultory vets who weren’t very determined to halt their long losing streak.

    McCants hit his 4th trey of the game from the left side of the arc, making it 95-91 with 1:15 to go. Then something remarkable happened: Jason Kidd made a stupid decision. After Richard Jefferson had cooled off, the Nets’ bread-and-butter offense in the second half had been the high pick and roll with Kidd, dishing to Carter who would work the play with a big man. Needing just another bucket to likely seal the win, the Nets logically looked to be setting up the same play as Kidd dribbled to his right. But suddenly Kidd reversed field away from the pick and roll confluence and zipped a pass beneath the hoop to the relatively open center Jason Collins. But Collins wasn’t so open that he couldn’t be fouled by Al Jefferson, which is exactly what happened. And coming into the game, Collins had converted just
    10 of 30 free throws–he was the Wolves’ equivalent of Mad Dog Madsen. Not too surprisingly, he bricked both free throws with 56 seconds left to play.

    On the ensuring play, Sebastian Telfair kept his cool, refused to pick up his dribble against pressure, and found an open Gomes standing in the corner. Gomes, who had shot a putrid 9-41 from outside the arc over his past 16 games, let it fly….swish. It was now 95-94 with 40 seconds to go. Vince Carter then clanks a too-long jumper on a stilted possession for New Jersey and the Wolves rebound with 21 seconds to go. Witt calls timeout and inserts McCants in for Brewer as part of the offensive-defensive platoon he’s running between the two as much as circumstances permit. Shaddy decides he’ll be the man, but his jumper is a tad long time–only to be corralled off the carom by Al Jefferson–remember him?–he gets fouled before he has a chance to go back up. In the classic crunchtime free throw situation–down 1, two shots, 11 seconds to play–Jefferson doesn’t flinch, sinking his 18th and 19th second chance points of the game to put the Wolves in the lead for the first time since the first 90 seconds of the game.

    Last gasp for New Jersey. Richard Jefferson gets position but his six-foot jumper on the baseline hits the front iron and doesn’t creep over. Al Jefferson grabs his 19th rebound of the game, the Nets foul and Al cinches it with two more free throws to register his first-ever 40 point game.

    3. Cause For Optimism

    Foye and Ratliff are on the mend. Brewer, Jefferson and Telfair are all playing with enormous confidence. After a home-and-home with the underachieving Bulls (I’ll do my next trey on both of them together on Thursday), the Wolves play nine of the next ten games at home.

  • Noir or Kora?

    First things first: Our February issue hits the stands today, so be sure to pick up a copy or stop by our website to check out our latest features. Learn about Dakota founder and co-owner Lowell Pickett. Discover the Truth Project. And read about fine-dining options that aren’t getting the buzz they deserve.

    Are you a Santana fan? Don’t miss his April 21st show at the Xcel Center. Tickets go on sale today at Ticketmaster.

    FILM
    Underworld U.S.A.

    It’s noir Monday at the Parkway! Today they’re serving up a dose of crime, violence, and revenge in the dark 1960s film Underworld U.S.A. In this film noir we meet fourteen-year-old Tolly Devlin, who sees four mobsters beat his father to death. As Tolly plans his revenge, the killers rise to the top of the crime syndicate. It’s a story of love and loss, cold hard revenge and humanity. The tough-as-nails actors make Underworld U.S.A. a thrilling watch. The Parkway is also the perfect, laid-back venue for this event. Enjoy a beer (seriously, you can), and enjoy the show. —Kate Leibfried

    7 p.m., Parkway Theater, 4814 Chicago Ave. S., Minneapolis;
    612-822-3030; $5.

    WINE & DINE
    Café Levain

    Wait! Before you add Noir Night to your planner, consider setting aside a little extra time to satisfy your hunger. Café Levain is right down the street and ready to serve up some tasty food to enjoy before a delectable night of film. Enjoy a wide selection of delicacies that are easier on the pocket book than the former (and much bigger) Restaurant Levain. All entrées are priced under $20, including a choice of side dish. Choose from items such as duck pâté, blue mussels, roast chicken, and potato gnocchi. There is even a small wine bar and a tantalizing dessert menu. To read more about this relatively new "restaurant-gone-café," check out our restaurant review from earlier this year. —Kate Leibfried

    Café Levain, 48th St. & Chicago Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-823-7111.

    MUSIC
    Toumani Diabate & the Symmetric Orchestra

    He has been called the world’s finest kora player. He has gained international acclaim. He has performed all around the world. He’s here. Toumani Diabate will be playing at the Dakota tonight, and all this time you have probably been thinking, "What the hell is a kora?" Fear not. You are not alone in your ignorance. A kora is a popular instrument in Guinea, Senegal, The Gambia, and Mali (where Diabate hails from), but it is none too common in the good ol’ U.S. of A. It looks like an upright lute, but is made from a large calabash cut in half and covered with cow skin, and it usually has 21 strings. The sound of a kora resembles that of a harp, though when played in the traditional style, it bears a closer resemblance to flamenco guitar techniques. And here’s a little piece of trivia for you in case you are studying to appear on Jeopardy: A traditional kora player is called a Jali, similar to a bard or oral historian. Diabate blends traditional music from Mali with flamenco, blues, jazz, and other international styles to create a stunning sound that is backed up by the fabulous Symmetric Orchestra. If you’re jonesing for something unique or simply want to enjoy some stunning instrumentals, check out Diabate, the Dakota’s favorite Jali. —Kate Leibfried

    7 & 9:30 p.m., Dakota Jazz Club and Restaurant, 1010 Nicollet Ave., Minneapolis; 612-332-1010; $20 – $40.

  • Filling The Gaps at Il Vesco Vino

    My husband and I found ourselves over the weekend in that gap between wedding ceremony and reception and desperately in need of a drink.

    Now, I must admit, I’m a bit bewildered by the whole traditional formal wedding affair. It’s always seemed to me more show than celebration, a day seized by the "happy" couple to make other people a) focus attention on them b) follow their directions and c) WAIT. There’s the "everyone turn to look at the bride as she makes her way down the aisle" moment; the "you may not leave your pew until the newly married couple greets you" ritual; and then, of course, the "we must take several dozen photographs before leaving the church so you should hang out in the vestibule or on the street or in the empty reception hall waiting while we do so" tradition.

    Which is exactly why I got married barefoot on the deck of a boat with only my children in attendance and a preacher (Mitch Omer, from Ode to a Sycophant fame, in fact) who got his license from the back of Rolling Stone. . . .then threw a big party two months later with a lot of food and wine and absolutely no requirements of the guests but that they come and enjoy.

    But I digress.

    We’d just left the church on Saturday afternoon, where the brightest moment of the ceremony — for me, at least — was the minister’s recounting of the "love story" in Rocky. I’ve never seen Rocky, which sounds incredible, I know. But after his telling, I probably will. The anecdote had to do with the thug played by Sylvester Stallone falling in love with a plain woman who worked at a pet store then explaining to someone who questioned the romance "she’s got gaps, I got gaps, together we fill gaps," which was as fine a description of the strange magic of marriage as I’ve ever heard.

    So we were talking about this and dawdling along Dale Street in St. Paul, on our way to the reception near Cathedral Hill, when suddenly I remembered something wonderful: Il Vesco Vino was just around the corner!

    So we went.

    What a lovely interlude, a perfect place to fill the gap. Because first, this is a simple, warm, rectangular room lit with the sort of turnip-shaped fixtures you might imagine at an Italian carnival. But better even than this is Junior, one of the area’s best and most unusual sommeliers. This guy KNOWS HIS WINE. He was trained at D’Amico Cucina and he’s a friend of Bill’s (Summerville, that is). But he’s also, well. . . .just freakin’ cool, in a way that most wine experts — I’m sorry, guys — simply aren’t. The son of jazz saxophonist, Irv Williams, Junior has that low, blue, lazy, smooth-voiced style.

    It’s all an act, however, in that behind the laid-back facade is a man who keeps a sparkling bar and makes the best personalized wine recommendations in town.

    I, for instance, love an earthy, sweaty red. ("Dirt," my husband will sometimes say when he sniffs the wine in my glass. "Terroir," I will respond. Just one example of our gaps.) So Junior poured me the Azienda Agricola Morellino di Scansano, a hot muddy Sangiovese that’s full of plum and cherry with the strangest hint of banana underneath, also black roses, leather boots, and peat. Just the way I like my midafternoon, post-wedding wine.

    John drank a far lighter and generally more approachable Nero d’Avola — again, selected by Junior — which tasted of raspberry and black cherry and finished clean.

    And we sat, holding hands under the bar, until our wine was gone, at which point we said goodbye to Junior and reluctantly got up and headed to the clamorous wedding reception where there were too few tables for the guests and the only wine available was heavy and tannic and about as subtle as a brick to the head.

    Sometimes, I find, it is in filling the gaps that the best of life occurs.

  • The Three Pointer: Best Beats Worst By One

    Copyright 2008 NBAE (Photo by Brian Babineau/NBAE via Getty Images)

    Game #42, Road Game #23: Minnesota 86, Boston 87

    Season record: 7-35

    1. KG In A Nutshell

    During the twelve years Kevin Garnett spent with the Timberwolves, a debate steadily escalated over his true value and place in the annals of the all-time great NBA players. KG supporters could point to his unprecedented versatility, his unbelievable endurance, his unyielding work ethic, and his infectious competitive spirit. Critics carped that there was a level of greatness to which KG’s character and temperament could not ascend: The ability to put a team on his back and deliver the goods when it mattered most; the seizing of the onus that he would be The Man when a Man was required.

    Garnett boosters point to the longest consecutive streak of at least 20 points, 10 rebounds and 5 assists–7 years, nearly all of them buttressed by KG’s place on the league’s all-defensive team. His detractors would point to one measly year in which the Wolves made it past the first round of the playoffs, and three straight years in the prime of his career when his squad didn’t even make the postseason.

    Most Wolves fans are intimately familiar with the debate, which prompts eye-opening claims on both sides. Detractors like to say that Garnett is merely a great sidekick, that he needs a more dominant personality on the team in order to be truly effective, a Pippen to someone else’s Jordan. Strib writer Jim Souhan and KFAN jock Dan Barreiro have both voiced this view, with Souhan recently dubbing Garnett the "world’s greatest complementary player." By contrast, Celtics’ color commentator Cedric Cornbread Maxwell was the latest to big-up Garnett by naming him the second best player in Celtics history, behind only Bill Russell and ahead of Larry Bird, among others. Maxwell didn’t flinch from the predictable outcry, saying that KG’s huge edge on defense tipped the scales in his favor.

    As one who is closer to Maxwell’s view than Barreiro’s and Souhan’s–I have actually taken the Garnett position in KG vs. Bird debates, although I go back and forth on who I think is a better player–it was a sincere pleasure watching the greatest Timberwolf there likely will ever be in my lifetime going against the Timberwolves when it counts (meaning a non-exhibition game) for the first time in his career last night. And it was a curiously nostalgic feeling to be marveling in his myriad gifts on the court and then being compelled to remember again his "flaw of unselfishness" that is necessarily part and parcel of his many virtues.

    101 seconds into the game, when KG vanquished a triple-team near the corner baseline by feeding to his point guard Rajon Rondo for an easy layup, I realized how very little that has occurred on the Wolves this season, and how deeply ensconced such a play was in the DNA of any Wolves fan who watched the team in the KG era. Ditto when Garnett sealed off penetration with his interior rotation and his help with teammate Kendrick Perkins guarding Al Jefferson.

    But after going 4-4 FG and registering a game-best plus +7 to lead the Celts to a three point halftime lead, Garnett stubbornly continued to take only what the Wolves’ D gave him in the second half. Now that he’s surrounded with the highest caliber teammates of his 13 years in the league, KG is even more inclined to trust his teammates with the open look–something Wolves’ fans always admired and cursed during his stint in Minnesota. If four shots in 16:29 seems like injurious modesty for a 7-1 gazelle being guarded by Al Jefferson and/or Ryan Gomes, consider that Garnett deigned to offer up exactly one shot in 14:35 of second half action, with Antoine Walker as one of the prime defenders.

    Yes, the Wolves (obviously wisely) chose to constantly at least double and often triple team him. But how many bricks does Ray Allen have to toss before you realize it just isn’t his night? For all you folks who watched the game–how many times to KG dish out to the perimeter to an open Ray Allen; five? Six? Eight? Do you know how many times Garnett assisted on an Allen bucket? Zero. Allen going 1-9 FG in the first half should have been a clue. Then 1-4 FG in the third quarter. Then he got "hot" and went 2-5 FG in the final period. That’s 4-18, with five turnovers to boot.

    Meanwhile, after doing a marvelous job of breaking down the Wolves with dribble penetration in the first half–he was 1-5 FG but had 6 dimes and 4-4 FT in 20:06–Paul Pierce had a surprisingly difficult time with Corey Brewer’s length and quickness and the Wolves’ alternation of zone and deftly rotating man-to-man. Pierce clearly remained a thorn for the Wolves–he finished with 19 points, 9 boards and 8 assists–he Minnesota made him earn it, sending him to the line 10 times (he made them all) and forcing him into a 4-18 FG night with a half dozen turnovers.

    So, to recap: The smaller two of the Big Three for the Celts combined for 8-33 from the field with 11 turnovers. The current favorite to win the NBA MVP was 4-5 FG with 2 turnovers that weren’t his fault. The faithful in Boston are generally smart hoops observers, and probably appreciated how Garnett’s defense quieted Gomes in the first half (5 points and 2 rebouns for someone averaging 16 and 7 for the past few weeks) and helped quiet Jefferson in the second (6 points and 3 rebounds for the 20-12 Big Al; by contrast, Craig Smith had 4 points and a team-high 10 rebounds playing 13:22 of his 14:20 with KG on the bench). Even so, if you’re a diehard Celtic fan, you’re screaming for KG to get the ball and then do something with it in the direction of the hoop. You’re like Doc Rivers, who went bananas on Tony Allen after Allen chose to drive the lane and *then* dish to KG, resulting in a three-second call (the first of Garnett’s two turnovers) rather than immediately feeding an open KG on the low block. Allen, a third year pro currently averaging 6.0 ppg., had as many shots in the 4th quarter as Garnett took the entire game. The problem is that Doc had to speak for KG, who needed to pull a Keyshawn Johnson–as in "somebody get me the damn ball!"–long before then.

    But then it’s crunchtime and many of the attributes that make Garnett a player for the ages come to the fore. After staggering to the sidelines with an "abdominal strain" (replays seemed to indicate that Brewer inadvertantly punched him in the nuts trying to strip him on a drive to the hoop, creating a pain intense enough for Garnett to immediately drop the basketball, which was his second turnover), Garnett went to the dressing room for four minutes of play in the latter stages of the fourth quarter. His trainer advised him not to play again that night. But Garnett talked his way back into the lineup. Amazing ability to surmount all manner of injuries? Check. Which segues into the Celts’ last basket: KG sets the pick that frees Ray Allen for an open layup which Allen promptly blows, but the Wolves are so concerned with Allen-Pierce-KG that Perkins has an easy weakside putback. Faithfully doing the little things that don’t show up on the box score but help the team? Check. Which segues into the final play of the game. KG, the seven-footer, ranges out to the perimeter beyond the three point arc and uses what Flip Saunders calls his Inspector Gadget arms to steal the ball from Sebastian Telfair, diving on the floor with Telfair to push the ball ahead toward the other end of the court as the buzzer sounds, sealing Boston’s one-point win. Freakish athletic versatility and extra hustle in service of defense? Check.

    Which segues into something that is foreign territory for Wolves fans, even when KG was here. Team has a serious chance of contending for the NBA championship? Check.

    2. What About The Wolves?

    They played thei
    r fourth solid game in a row. After the Celtics burned them with a flurry of points in the paint early, they played good-to-great defense in the second half, perhaps their best defensive effort of the season. The bench was especially important here, with Brewer regaining that controlled intensity on defense that has been only sporadic in recent weeks (and don’t overlook the continued accuracy of his much-maligned jumper–he went 4-8 FG tonight), and Walker ball-hawking superbly as well as giving KG a variety of different looks, occasionally fronting him and at other times fighting him for postion. Yes, they concentrated on not letting Garnett, and then Pierce, beat them, and if Ray Allen could have hit the broad side of a barn, that strategy could have easily looked foolish, or soon abandoned. As it was, Perkins was free to cut in from the baseline most any time he chose, which is why he went 8-10 FG with a game-high 21 points. But that’s why the Celts own the NBA’s best record–they have a load of offensive weapons and are playing stout team defense.

    Most nights a game like Brewer’s would have qualified as the most pleasant surprise, but Top Kudo of this tilt has to be Bassy Telfair’s team-MVP performance. Not only did Telfair face up to Boston’s pressure defense–his counterpart Rondo is a superb defender–with six assists versus three turnovers, but he was the most confident Timberwolf on the floor during the 4th quarter, one of the rare occasions that can be said about a Minnesota point guard this year. Knowing him well from his stint here last year, Boston dared him to shoot and so Bassy did–7-14 FG, including 3-7 in a throat-squeezing final period–while playing the entire second half. Along with his team-high 18 points he chipped in 3 steals (Walker had 4, and the Wolves as a team filched a remarkable 13). But most significant was his demeanor. This was a player determined to live up to that cliche of the guy returning home to show his former team they had made a mistake giving up on him. Mission accomplished.

    Some final quick hits about the Wolves this night:

    Great to be reminded that Corey Brewer has a killer instinct. When the Wolves were making their run and forcing the Celts into 6 straight turnovers at one point, you could just see Brewer pouncing on the perceived vulnerability, upping his aggressiveness and looking to do something very proactive at both ends of the court, be it a steal, a daring assist, or a jumper with a flourish. He and Telfair were fearless, trying to dance on a grave in crunchtime. It augured well for the rook’s future.

    For the second straight game, Craig Smith had trouble getting his shot to drop but worked hard on the glass, pulling in ten rebounds. There is no place for Smith in the team’s starting lineup, nor should there be. But in the right situations he can be a valuable reserve on a good team.

    Got to hand it to Gerald Green, who, inserted into the game for the first time in nearly two weeks in the final seconds of the first period, went on one of his little mini-explosions in the second quarter, with 8 quick points. He also played what for him was very good defense (and what for others would be very inconsistent) and obviously seemed happy to be back on a court where he had plenty of opportunity to shine last season. I understand this is condescending, but I can’t help but liken Green being in the game to a child holding a gun with a robber in the house: His family knows somebody is going to get hurt and they just hope they buck the odds and it turns out to be the other guy.

    3. The Unpleasant Shilling of Hanny and Pete

    I have great respect for Wolves announcers Tom Hanneman and Jim Petersen, and when you get the NBA League Pass (it has been free all this week on cable, in an effort to sell the half-season remaining for $99) you hear commentators working games for other teams who usually aren’t up to their standard, particularly in analyzing the game and refraining from blatant homerism.

    But last night was a sorry exception for Hanny and Pete and made the game practically unlistenable. The first problem was when Petersen went out of his way to justify the KG deal as having been a shrewd trade. Now I endorsed the trade at the time it was made, and still think the deal was one Minnesota had to make, given all the financial and attitudinal circumstances involved. But methinks Pete doth protest too much about how Minnesota didn’t get screwed. To do that, he absolutely lionized Al Jefferson, who obviously was the key to the deal, along with the draft picks, for the Wolves. I like Al Jefferson, quite a bit in fact, all things being equal. But when Pete brings up only to downplay the Lakers’ offer of Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom and others, in order to continue praising Jefferson by comparison, it begins to sound fishy. Raving about how Jefferson is such a great low-post scorer at the age of 22 (he forgets Jeff turned 23 on January 4), Pete conveniently omits that Bynum won’t turn 21 until October, averages more rebounds per 48 minutes than Big Al, is two inches taller than Big Al, is already a better defender than Big Al, is shooting 63.6% from the field and averaging more than 13 points per game in less than 29 minutes of action. And gave Jefferson fits in their head-to-head matchups this season.

    I’m not saying Bynum is better than Jefferson; only that it will be an intriguing thing to track as they both mature over the next five or six years. And, more to the point, the same *must* be said about the Garnett deal. Minnesota could very well look very smart round about 2010–or look like fools. As I say, relative to other superstar trades, I think McHale and Minnesota came out pretty well, at least on paper, compared to what, say, Philly got for Iverson.

    But let’s get a little perspective. Boston came into this game with the best record in the NBA–and undefeated against the generally tougher Western Conference (and yes, I know they haven’t played the West’s cream of the crop). Minnesota came into this game with the worst record in the NBA. This is *not* the time to be thumping your chest about how well the Wolves did in that transaction. Petersen can be prone to overselling the Wolves, but generally he stays on firmer ground than this.

    Having invested themselves in praising the blockbuster deal that had so many of the players on the court staring at the uniforms they so recently wore, Hanny and Pete began to root for the Wolves as nakedly as I can ever remember, and it really hurt the quality of their announcing. Petersen moaned about a no-call on Jefferson (hardly the first of the evening–the refs pretty much let them play) but didn’t bat an eye that there was no call on the play that sent KG to the sidelines and prompted a turnover just a few minutes before then. He openly wondered if the five-second call on Corey Brewer–a devastating crunchtime turnover–was a quick count by the ref until the replay demolished that little conspiracy theory.

    Meanwhile, Hanny offered up a series of whoppers. Two of my "favorites," in stiff competition, was first his claim in the 4th quarter that "Garnett has not been a big factor. Al Jefferson has been a big factor;" then, sailing into a commercial, the statement that if the Wolves were to prevail it would be "One of the biggest wins in franchise history." To state the obvious, KG was a big factor in the Celtics win–he already had one of those double-doubles Hanny used to rave about when Garnett played for the Wolves (he finished the game with 16 rebounds), and was a defensive force the entire night. And unless Al Jefferson went off for 82 points on 29-53 FG and 24-33 FT or something, any game that would "up" Minnesota’s record to 8-34 is not, in the grand scheme of things, memorable to any franchise–even the Timberwolves.

    I expect sanity will be restored during the next telecast.