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  • The Inner Reaches of Outer Space

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    INLAND EMPIRE
    , 2006. Written (I guess) and directed (definitely) by David Lynch. Starring Laura Dern, Peter J. Lucas, Justin Theroux, Jeremy Irons, Harry Dean Stanton, Karolina Gruszka, Jan Hencz, Grace Zabriske, Julia Ormond, Diane Ladd, Ian Abercrombie, Bellina Logan, William H. Macy and the augmented Emily Stofle.

    Now showing exclusively at the Oak Street Cinema.

    In David Lynch’s new book Catching the Big Fish, the section on INLAND EMPIRE opens with this verse from The Upanishads:

    We are like the spider,
    We weave our life and then move along in it.
    We are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives in the dream.
    This is true for the entire universe.

    There’s a moment in INLAND EMPIRE, almost three hours in, when Laura Dern’s Nikki is confronted by a menacing figure with a face that appears to be made of wax. By now we are exhausted, and scared, having walked the sticky tightrope of Lynch’s spiderweb, which seems to have no end. Nikki is equally worn out. Terrified, she empties a revolver at the wax face, which accomplishes nothing, his face melting and filling the screen. Like the man behind the dumpster in Mulholland Dr., he is an unstoppable force, not a force of nature, but a pinpoint in the fabric of the reality, a tiny hole through that which protects us and hides the simmering unconscious. David Lynch enjoys punching through the screen that shields us, be it the image of a small town, the dream of Hollywood, or simply the appearance of reality.

    David Lynch has been studying Transcendental Meditation (TM) for over thirty years now. It seems time to come to terms with the fact that, like artists whose religion informs their work–be it Catholicism or Islam or Buddhism–David Lynch is a filmmaker who relies heavily on the visions that TM has offered him. TM is as real for Lynch as the Dalai Lama and Christ are for Scorsese, except that INLAND EMPIRE, in spite of its length and incomprehensibility, is eminently more watchable than Kundun or The Last Temptation of Christ. Where in the past many of Lynch’s efforts seemed purposefully incoherent, I’m starting to believe that, while still incoherent, they are accurate representations of a world distilled through the mind of an artist supremely in touch with his inner being.

    And at first INLAND EMPIRE seems to belie the criticism that the film is absurd and impossible to follow. A woman, Nikki Grace (Laura Dern) has signed on to play the part in a film ridiculously titled On High With Blue Tomorrows, directed by the pompous Kingsley Stewart (Jeremy Irons) and co-starring alleged hunk Devon Berk (Justin Theroux). Problems arise, in the person of the cryptic neighbor (Grace Zabriske), who promises Nikki that she will get the part, and yet warns the younger woman about unleashing evil into the world. Also, the leading man is constantly threatened by Janek, Nikki’s husband, played by the Jan Hencz with steely intensity and little else. If Devon sleeps with Nikki, Janek will kill him, or more likely, have him killed. To make matters all the more intriguing, it turns out that Blue Tomorrows is a remake of a Polish film, in which the two leads were murdered. As this is being explained to Nikki and Devon, they discover that someone mysterious is watching them from the shadows. Devon investigates, but the person, persons or spirit has vanished.

    That’s the swiftly moving first hour of this three hour film, though there are clues to the depths with which INLAND EMPIRE will dive: the rabbits, for instance. There are segments of Lynch’s online television show, Rabbits, which is nothing more than the interior of a spacious Hollywood pad, with people walking around in dull 50s-style suits, with giant rabbit heads. They talk and the laugh track engages at odd moments. There’s a prostitute with her face blurred out, and a girl crying at the events on her television set, which appears to be the action in the movie we’re watching.

    And then cut… to the set of Blue Tomorrows. Of course, Blue Tomorrows is a movie that no one in Hollywood would ever make, not with a title like that and Douglas Sirk dead and gone. Nor would actors with names like Nikki Grace and Devon Berk appear in anything other than mid-grade porn. As usual, Lynch doesn’t give a rip about making his movies-within-movies seem like real things, or his people talk and act in a manner that’s reflective of life as we see it on the streets. The people in Lynch’s films talk in sentences that are clipped, odd statements that are meant to infuriate, confuse, and often menace. Their faces seem pinched, as if the oxygen levels on the set were just shy of what human beings need, or the gravity’s just a bit too strong. David Lynch’s films–INLAND EMPIRE especially–seem shot on a distant planet, after the sun has set but it’s not quite pitch-black. The feeble light gives us just enough to make out and react to before the darkness swallows us whole. This is Hollywood, from Lynch’s point of view.

    INLAND EMPIRE loops in and out of the real and the imagined and the deeply imagined life, in which the Blue Tomorrows movie plays itself out, another movie (in which Dern is seen among prostitutes swaying to “The Locomotion” and she is eventually murdered), and some oddball scenes involving ketchup, Polish whores, an interview in a dark room, and, once again, a return to the square family with giant rabbit heads. Characters you’ve come to care about suddenly turn into actors in a film, then a different movie from that one, then back to INLAND EMPIREagain (ostensibly reality), and the fiction within the fiction vanishes and gives way to the rabbits and crying whores once again, each filmed in lonely, empty rooms that seem to have come from outer space. And you know that, deep down, that both the whores and rabbits will return yet again to trouble you later in the film, and probably later at night.

    And we ask ourselves: What are the rabbits? Does Lynch even know? Or the references to the circus? The barbecue and ketchup scene? The press notes for the film are as follows: “A Woman In Trouble”. Some help.

    Lynch explains (in Catching the Big Fish) that his friend, the actor Krzysztof Majchrzak is given a choice between three props for an isolated and seemingly unrelated scene at a shed. Krzysztof can choose between a broken tile, a rock, a red light bulb. He chose the bulb, which he held in his mouth the duration of the scene. This, according to Lynch, is a reflection of the Unified Field–that a man would come to the set wearing oddball glasses, pick a red bulb, and act in the scene with it in his mouth–they are all related.

    What that does for the audience is give us direct access to a world that is utterly different from our own experiences, and in the sense that INLAND EMPIRE gives us something we’ve never seen before, it works beautifully. And even better, the film maintains its menace, and its grim attitude about Hollywood. Between Mulholland Dr. and INLAND EMPIRE you have two of the most damning films ever made about the way the Dream Factory devours souls. In a startling scene, a ghastly Diane Ladd (Laura Dern’s mom) grills Nikki about having difficulty keeping her paws away from Devon, with whom she’s only just begun work. It’s a sickening, yet funny, parody of the Entertainment Tonight garbage, more real and ultimately more hilarious than Christopher Guest’s jokes in For Your Consideration. Perhaps because it nauseates as well as liberates–by this time already you’re looking for a laugh, and Lynch’s films always have one or two very good ones, and INLAND EMPIRE is no exemption.

    Nothing will protect the people of INLAND EMPIRE against the rot that will devour them. They are stuck, fighting against those vile creatures with wax faces who seek to devour their artistic souls, against their desires to make love to one another (prompted, most likely, by the dream world of their acting), and find that once they enter the labyrinth of Hollywood, there is no escape. Lynch pushes his people into the maze, but leaves them no bread crumbs or string with which to help them emerge. The audience can wish it had Chinatown or Hollywoodland to frighten them about Southern California in a funhouse way , but INLAND EMPIRE is the real thing, as real as the movies get. David Lynch dives deep here, has undoubtedly seen the system eat up talent like bon bons, and is out to remind you that your dreams come with a price. The actors, actresses, directors, screenwriters, they’ve all paid… won’t you?

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  • Guest: Pitchers and Catchers Report

    From my friend Andy Fuller.

    Pitchers and catchers report. We can arise from our slumber.

    Since the beginning of human civilization we have moved with the rhythms of the seasons. When most of us were tied to the land, we gathered and hunted and farmed and traveled as the seasons allowed.

    When the industrial revolution transformed our lives in every conceivable way, the great manufacturing centers attracted people from all over the countryside with promises of a better life. Perhaps life in these cities was better. Maybe it was worse. One thing is certain – as more of us punched a timecard and fewer of us planted seeds, we started to lose our seasonal rhythm.

    As we fell out of sync with the seasons, a game blossomed.

    Baseball became enormously popular during the most significant developments of the industrial revolution. As the railroad and internal combustion engine irrevocably sped up all aspects of our lives, we turned to baseball to regain our rhythm – the promise of Spring Training, the lazy days of mid-season and the All Star break, the drama of the Fall Classic.

    And so, 150 years later, we wait. We wait for the four words that will allow us to awake from our wintry hibernation. This Sunday we will hear them, for on Sunday the Minnesota Twins’ pitchers and catchers report.

    We know it’s coming. We can feel it. It’s primal, instinctual. We know pitchers and catchers are reporting like we used to know maples and cottonwoods were budding. We know we will hear familiar voices during the radio sportscast like we knew that sunnier days were in the forecast. We know when pitchers and catchers report we can shake off the listlessness that builds over the unrelenting winter.

    It’s time to wake up. It’s springtime. Pitchers and catchers report.

  • Advice to a Blogger on Barnes

    This from a Stribber on today’s Barnes-for-Gyllenhaal announcement.

    Barnes …

    “1) is the first woman ever named to the executive editor post at the Star Tribune

    2) leapfrogged over Gillespie — which is a big blow to Scott, a great guy — but in fact that follows a pattern around here of managing editors not following in their bosses’ footsteps.

    3) some of us are just breathing a sigh of relief it wasn’t Monica “who cares about words? they only muck up design” Moses

    4) Be careful what kind of “dragon lady” gossip you listen to about Nancy from Stribbers. A lot of it is the typical bullshit thrown around about strong women bosses. Unlike the muumuu brigade you remember at the PP, she is tough but no tsk-tsker. She plays well with the boys and gets things DONE, which I really admire.”

    Okay. I hereby give Barnes 15 minutes worth of benefit of the doubt/presumption of innocence.

    I suppose it’d be base and sexist of me to throw in at this point the crack made by another(Y-chromosome addled)Stribber, “Well, I’m willing to say she’s better looking than Tim McGuire.”

    Cloddish bastard!

  • Nancy Barnes Gets Top Star Trib Job

    Nancy Barnes, currently the Star Tribune’s Deputy Managing Editor for Content, was named Anders Gyllenhaal’s replacement in a 2:30 announcement to the staff this afternoon.

    Her in-house competition was assumed to have been Monica Moses, executive director of Product Innovation and, Scott Gillespie, managing editor. At least for the time being both remain in their current jobs.

    Publisher Keith Moyer made the announcement and made a point of praising Gyllenhaal’s stewardship of the paper. Gyllenhaal is leaving to edit the Miami Herald. According to employees present for the announcement, Moyer had to prompt the staff to tepid applause for Gyllenhaal’s performance.

    There was no Q&A, and several reporters with whom I spoke say the Barnes announcement, while interesting, doesn’t begin to provide the answers the staff is most interested in, namely, how many of them will survive the transition to new owner Avista Capital Partners, expected within the next two weeks.

    In a related development, Star Tribune union employees were notified that the company will NOT extend a five day window, commencing on the date of Avista’s takeover, for current employees to file for a voluntary buy-out. There had been hope that the five-day process might be extended, and/or the new owners might sweeten the terms of the buy-out to attract more departures.

    One veteran employee guesstimated that 15 colleagues might grab the current offer.

  • You Want Valentine's Day Movies? I'll Give You Some F#@%!ng Valentine's Day Movies…

    Looking for an alternative cinematic thrill on this most romantic of corporate holidays? Thinking that it might not be entirely worthwhile to see Dreamgirls or Sleepless in Seattle when your feelings are, well, a bit more complex? Here’s a list, thrown together at the very last minute, of some features that will add some spice to this sweet evening… and by spice I mean a cold stare or a full blown argument. Nothing says you can’t ‘communicate’ on St. Valentine’s Day.

    Sid and Nancy. Saw this the other night with some pals from the Rake staff. Difficult to understand with all the cockney slang, grainy, drug-addled, dull in spots and thrilling in others, might just make you and your spouse do the mosh pit, get blitzed and then, if the mood’s right, shout, scream, break things, and then fall bloody to the floor after you’ve smashed a bottle against your head. Please, don’t beat one another or kill the other party. It’s only a movie, though it’s based on a true story.

    Taxi Driver. Murder politicians or pimps to prove your love! Didn’t work for John Hinckley, but it might for you.

    Oldboy. Disgusting, violent, Korean thriller that culminates in a near rape sex scene that is virtually impossible to endure… and later you find out it’s much worse than you thought! Should make your lover (male or female) swear off affection for a fortnight.

    Pandora’s Box. Classic silent film (your lover of conventional films will thank you for that one alone!) in which a girl who only wants to be loved finds bliss by being stabbed to death by Jack the Ripper. Joy!

    Eraserhead. Here’s a man’s nightmare about women and babies! Check out the girl in the radiator with her malignant cheeks (and bursting giant sperm with her heels) and the Eraserhead baby, who looks like E.T. with Down’s Syndrome. If you can finish this masterpiece, why the rest of the night will be spent in tense silence, and probably mutual loathing.

    The Squid and the Whale. Spot-on, brutally honest film about divorce. You wanna talk about where our relationship’s going, honey, well, here’s where our fucking relationship’s going…

    The Lady From Shanghai. Orson Welles’ baffling and yet entertaining film about how much he hates Rita Hayworth. Poisonous.

    For the guys: 12 Angry Men. Not a romance, but a charged film that takes place in a sweltering room with, as the title suggests, a dozen pugnacious males. I’ve seen this four times, and each time the women in the room felt abused, as if they had been locked in that place with these jerks. A good way to have the place to yourself.

    For the gals: Brief Encounter or Notes on a Scandal (a choice between staying in or going out). Oops, beautiful young women married to men who listen, care for them, do everything just right, and the result is they have affairs with doctors or fifteen year old boys. No matter what you do, boyfriend, you ain’t never going to be certain of my fidelity, eh?

  • This year, I'm trying a little tenderness

    This is my first Valentine’s Day with a sweetheart who actually requires of me an acknowledgement of the occasion. “Don’t forget about Valentine’s Day,” he said last week. He then added: “I like chocolate.” Me, I’m not a huge Valentine’s Day person. I couldn’t care less about getting flowers or candies or strawberry-flavored lubricants as gifts. But here’s what I’m really not happy about–missing the G. Love sho’.

    Oh, and here’s something else: There’s a masturbation workshop at the Smitten Kitten tonight.

  • Another Word For Love

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    God says if you love me you will make me Beef Wellington. Even though you are a vegetarian. We will go bow hunting for angels. Aim for the heart, even though they do not have hearts. They are most vulnerable when they are playing the harp. I hate harps. They keep me up when I want to sleep. I must change this some day. If you love me you will let me sleep. If you love me maybe I will. Let hours turn into years. The smell of meat and pie floating through endless kitchens of desire, which is heaven, what else could it be? Warm ovens burning all day remind me of loss. Which is another word for love. Which I have been explaining for thousands of years.

    –Hugh Steinberg, “The Cranky God Poem.” From Potionmag.org (via Rileydog)

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  • Phoanie drove a Jag, not a Rolls

    Now that the saturnine Dixie Chicks have been given their rightful due I think we should pause to remember that 40 years ago a single singer could do the job of three. I am talking about the infinitely more talented Joan Baez.

    Joan Baez remains more talented as an artist and perhaps more confused as a rabble rouser. While this post will not have much to do with cars (I could be losing it, yes) it is my attempt at setting the facts straight about the cars Joan Baez drove and a few more stubborn truths about her life.

    For example, in a recent re-release of her original Folkways recording (great CD) the reviewer on CD/NOW bemoans how Ms. Baez was “cruely parodied” in a comic strip during the height of her fame.

    Parodied she was, but it wasn’t that cruel considering the real life Joan Baez was leading. The cartoon character, called “Joanie Phoanie” was a folk singer ostensibly committed to causes of the poor while driving around in a Rolls Royce. This reviewer then claimed that “nothing could be further from the truth.”

    Unfortunately, the reviewer is right here on only one count: Joan Baez drove a Jaguar not a Rolls. And if you care (which you probably don’t) here are few more facts about the real Joan Baez.

    a) Joan Baez did a great deal of singing and protesting during the 60s while comfortably ensonced in beautiful Carmel Highlands pad.
    b) She ran an Institute for the Study of Non-Violence that is frequently used to prop up her modern day Victor Hugo like halo. However, this “Institue” was actually a series of “classes” taught by a bookstore clerk who dropped out of Stanford (no harm there–its kinda cool) that she ran from her luxurious pad (yep her house) for which she charged a cool $120.00 a class.
    d) Lasty…Phoanie? Unfair?…well in 1964 it is recorded that Joan Baez refused to pay 60% of her income taxes claiming that the Government would use it to buy weapons.

    I wonder about that last bit. I mean, have you ever owned a Jaguar XKE? Evading 60% of one’s taxes is just about enough to run it.

  • V-Day #2

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    And then there’s this…the most romantic, best way to show someone how much you love them is by cooking a meal together.

    Turn off the TV, put on some good music, pour a couple hefty glasses of wine, and roll up your sleeves. The converstations that happen while you’re chopping onions will never be the same ones you have in a restaurant, at home you can talk in your socks. That’s intimacy.

    Splashy overtures, like horse-drawn carriages and names written by sky-writers, can be thrilling, yes, but tend to fade quickly. Keeping someone’s wine glass full and offering them a taste of the sauce from the pan are moments of generosity that tell of a good soul.

    There’s something about the sizzle and warmth of a kitchen, the heart of the house, that allows you to be real, to let down your guard and invite others in. Cooking together, each adding something to the meal, is the way to build a real life, one that lasts beyond the flash and hype of Feb 14.

    If you’re game, and it’s your virginal attempt in the kitchen with your Someone, a few tips:

    Have a Plan … You will have to shop ahead of time, so make sure you know what you have on hand, and what you need to find. Know the recipe.

    Don’t Go Overboard … If your specialty is grilled cheese sandwiches, don’t try to attempt a lobster souffle. Stay within your comfort zone, but try to upgrade.

    Fresh is Best … “Luxury” items like truffles, lobster and foie gras can be a treat, but fresh accessible food is just as elegant if you do it right. A lovely apple tart is as beautiful as any chocolate concoction you can make.

  • Lynchian Holiday

    Oh shit, I almost forgot to plug this very special, twentieth anniversary installment of Blue Velvet on the big screen. I point you to Schilling’s blog for the full endorsement.