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  • NBA Second-Round Playoff Preview

    Photo by Chris Graythen/Getty Images

    First, some accountability on my first round predictions. Right now I’m technically five out of seven with the Celts-Hawks still incredibly yet to be determined, but I’d rather not be that simplistic–the devil (and angel) is in the details. For example, if the Celtics do prevail, I’ll have been "right" in my pick of Boston, but like most everyone else I was apparently foolish (and wrong) to automatically discount Atlanta and call for just a five game series. Ditto Detroit and Philadelphia: I called a Pistons sweep, and although the Sixers didn’t really elevate their play in the postseason, Detroit’s overconfidence and lethargy gave a couple away.

    Where else was I wrong? Well, I had the Wizards over the Cavs in 6 and the Rockets over the Jazz in 7. The first one was flat-out bad prognostication, although I did correctly point out that the injection of Gilbert Arenas into the mix would ultimately hurt Washington at least as much as it would help them. The Utah-Houston series, as I’ve said before, was a sentimental pick for the Yao-less Rockets, with an acknowledgment that Utah was capable of taking it in 5 (they won in 6). I enjoyed cheering on Houston, and don’t mind the inaccuracy here. But inaccurate it was, and you bet I would have strutted if the Rockets had prevailed.

    On the plus side, I was right to be baffled by the pundits mostly going for Dallas and Phoenix despite their lack of home court advantage and, not coincidentally, their ill-advised trades for stars long past their primes. I gave Steve Nash and Phoenix too much credit–and, despite being a huge fan of their grit when it counts, too little credit to the Spurs–in predicting a full 7-game set. But of all the series, I had the Hornets-Mavs sussed perfectly, nailing the length and tenor of the 5-game blowout. That leaves Orlando-Toronto and LA-Denver, two series I mostly had right, calling the victor and being just a little opmistic about how many tilts the loser would take.

    Things get a lot tougher to call here in the second round, especially after the desultory showings by the Celts and Pistons and the better-than-expected peformances by the Magic and Cavs. There’s really only one series I am pretty confident about, and even that one may go 6 or 7 games. And that’s where we’ll begin.

    Utah (5) vs. L.A. Lakers (1)

    Pivotal Points: Has Ronnie Brewer progressed enough during the season to be even halfway able to deter Kobe? Mehmet Okur and Andrei Kirilenko both played way over the heads vs. Houston–Okur on the boards, AK-47 via shooting. These three members of Utah’s starting five are crucial, because the Lakers won three of four during the season–including a March win at Utah without either Gasol or Bynum–by letting Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer essentially get theirs on offense but outscoring the Jazz anyway. How chippy will these games get: Utah fouls more (and perhaps harder) than any team in the league and the Lakers move the ball so well that we’re apt to see some nasty collisions. How will the Lakers–especially Lamar Odom–fare under pressure, something they never really faced vs. Denver?

    My guesses: Williams and Kobe are going to have huge series, as there’s nobody to stop them on the opposing side. Kobe’s presence really hurts Utah’s ability to use Kyle Korver, a huge minus for the Jazz. In their own way, this is the Lakers’ reprise of Showtime and Utah needs to muck it up with Harpring, Milsapp and their other bruisers, then hope Williams can carry them in the clutch. An uptempo pace favors LA and the forwards are vital: Gasol and Odom are suspected for being soft and a bit of a choker, respectively. If they can hold their own in the paint at both ends, Utah is in serious trouble. It will be interesting to see how Phil Jackson guards Okur: If he’s still on a roll, I’d think about Odom, or even Luke Walton, guarding him outside to deter the trey and to react with alacrity on the pick and rolls. Bringing Gasol out plays into Utah’s hands.

    My pick: A lot of people are on the Jazz bandwagon but I just can’t see it, especially against this large, quick, Lakers team. LA in 5 or 6.

    Orlando (3) vs. Detroit (2)

    Pivotal Points: Can Rasheed Wallace keep his cool enough to help neutralize Dwight Howard? Will he work in the paint and eschew the trey enough to perhaps get Howard in foul trouble? Will we see hack-a-Howard near the end of quarters in close games? Did Chauncey Billups just go through a bad patch vs. Philly or is he past his peak? Can the Pistons keep their focus through a semi-tough series? How much will Flip Saunders utilize his depth?

    My guesses: The Magic has no good matchup for Billups–Jameer Nelson and Keyon Dooling lack size and grit and Carlos Arroyo barely played vs. Toronto–but something about Billups looks funky lately and I don’t think he’s ready to take full advantage. Keith Bogans had much better luck guarding Rip Hamilton in the regular season than did starter Maurice Evans, so expect a quick hook there by Stan Van Gundy. Rashard Lewis and Hedo Turkoglu both had great passing series vs. Toronto and could create open treys if Detroit (necessarily) gets too preoccupied with Howard down low. Saunders has got to use his bench, especially Maxiell and Ratliff to help on Howard, and go with Stuckey to spell Billups. The evidence is that Detroit was scared straight by the losses to Philly and are ready to reassert. If they win both games in Detroit to start the series they could indeed roll. I think they’re ripe for an upset, but a couple stats hold me back: Detroit was second in the NBA in opposing 3pt shooting %, negating an Orlando strength. And Orlando had more turnovers than assists this season–not a good sign against a Pistons defense that can plays well together when the going gets tough.

    My Pick: Detroit in 7.

    San Antonio (3) vs. New Orleans (2)

    Pivotal Points: Will this fulfill its potential as one of the greatest second-round playoff series of all time? The refs are absolutely crucial because the Spurs pound the paint and the dropoff from Tyson Chandler to Hilton Armstrong is precipitous. If Chandler defends the rim without whistles it’s huge nod to the Hornets–and foul trouble for the big man means curtains for New Orleans. Can Jannero Pargo, a poor man’s Ginobili in the Dallas series, match up with Manu, because MoPete or Bonzie Wells ain’t gonna get it done. Can Bruce Bowen prevent Peja from getting open looks? How will Pops play West and Chandler with Duncan and Thomas/Oberto?

    My guesses: Neither Chris Paul nor Tony Parker will be as dominant as in round one–but they’ll still put on a hell of a show. The Spurs’ Boy Who Cried Wolf foul protestations will slowly but surely start to penalize them with the refs, but Chandler will still get in foul trouble at least one or two games. I absolutely love the way both of these teams play and am rooting less for one or the other than for both to perform up to their potential. If that happens, I think it comes down to veteran poise and crunchtime experience–don’t be surprised if Finley/Horry/Barry stick a dagger in at some point during the proceedings. For all the talk about Jason Kidd and Shaq, the Kurt Thomas pickup is second only to Gasol among contenders this season, and his ability to keep Duncan fresh and on the court, plus my ongoing belief that you don’t bet against the Spurs until you see that stake through their hearts, has me leaning toward the Spurs. But forcing them to win it in a Game Seven in the Big not so Easy would be extra sweet.

    My pick: San Antonio in 6 or 7.

    Cleveland (4) vs. Boston (1) [or Atlanta (8)]

    Pivotal Points: Is the luster off the Celtics’ confidence or
    is getting the stodgy Cavs after the uber-athletic Hawks all the elixir they need to reassert their primacy over the East? Uh, who the hell guards Lebron James; Mr. Posey, it is time for your super-closeup. Now that Doc Rivers has totally screwed up his rotation by deep-sixing Eddie House and Tony Allen while elevating the aged Sam Cassell, can Sam I Am at least hit some of those shots he clanked and then stupidly eschewed in the Atlanta series (because House would have made them)? Is Kevin Garnett finally ready to put all those whispers to rest and go at a past-his-prime Ben Wallace, or will he continue to get 22-10-7 and hurt his team with selflessness in crunchtime? Last but not least, what has happened to Ray Allen?

    My guesses: The Celtics will need to play really well–with much, much more poise and skill than vs. Atlanta–to pull this out in 6 or 7. LeBron is going to win at least one game all by himself and I think Z Ilgauskas, Wallace and Joe Smith in the paint plus Szczerbiak and Booby Gibson spotting up outside makes the Cavs dangerous on the offensive end and complements to the triple-teamed James. For the Celts to win, their erstwhile relentless D, led by KG and Rondo, need to create turnovers and transition baskets, plus Pierce and Allen need to compensate for their mediocre D (in Allen’s case make that horrible D) by proving they are indeed crunchtime stars. That will spread the floor enough for Garnett to work in the paint. But as a confirmed KG-lover I admit I’m rattled by what I’ve seen from this Beantown squad in the first round. It wouldn’t surprise me if both the Celts and the Pistons went down. I resisted the Pistons upset, but Detroit isn’t playing against the best player on the planet.

    My Pick: Cleveland in 6 or 7.

  • Gem of the Ocean

    Although it was one of the last plays he wrote, Gem of the Ocean falls first chronologically in August Wilson’s 10 plays about the black experience in 20th century America. It’s not his best — Fences and The Piano Lesson both won Pulitzers — but Penumbra Theatre puts on a solid interpretation at the Guthrie.

    Wilson typically keeps the action contained in one location: the setting for Gem of the Ocean is the parlor of a 285-year-old "soul cleanser," Aunt Ester (Marvette Knight), in 1904 Pittsburgh. Aunt Ester imparts the wisdom of a woman who has experienced almost 250 years of slavery and survived the Civil War. At the play’s climax, Ester’s parlor is transformed — through blue lighting, stark shadows, and befitting sound — into a slave ship, the Gem of the Ocean. She leads a young man, Citizen Barlow (Cedric Mays), through a mystical experience to the City of Bones, where he confronts slavery, the man who died for his own crime, and, ultimately, freedom. The scene reflects the play’s theme as articulated by Ester: "What use do we make of our freedom?"

    Unfortunately, the journey to the City of Bones has nearly as much gimmick as it does depth. Mays is convincing as he is shackled supernaturally to the slave deck of the Gem of the Ocean and as he faces the consequences of his past crime. But the device of this magical voyage accomplishes little that could not have been achieved in "reality."

    Wilson is a master at using more realistic, and more convincing, devices as the central conflict of a narrative. In The Piano Lesson, it’s a piano, co-owned by a brother and sister, carved with the faces of two ancestors. The sister never wants to depart with the piano, and her brother, eager to buy land, wants to sell it — a conflict of preservation of history versus moving on. In the first scene of Fences, a character tries to conceal a watermelon, a device that Wilson uses to reverse the racist connotation of the watermelon-loving minstrel. The Gem of the Ocean does not approach this level of subtle but powerful symbolism.

    Director Lou Bellamy, founder and artistic director of Penumbra Theatre, is well positioned to bring Gem of the Ocean to the
    stage. He won an Obie Award in 2007 for directing Wilson’s Two Trains
    Running     in New York City, and he directed Penumbra’s production of The Piano Lesson earlier this year. His comprehensive understanding of Wilson’s work is apparent on the stage. The characters are eccentric without going over the top, and the conversations they have in Aunt Ester’s parlor are truly engaging.

    Black Mary (Austene Van), who lives with Aunt Ester, is a jilted woman who nevertheless remains compassionate. Eli (Abdul Salaam el Razzac), who also lives with Ester, is agitated with Citizen in the first scene, but he eventually employs him to build a wall. Eli remains calm and relaxed throughout the rest of the show, saying, "This is a peaceful home," when people stop by to visit. He has frequent, long conversations with Solly Two Kings (James Craven), a man who once helped with the Underground Railroad and now sells dog poop as fuel, about the black community’s difficult adaptation from slavery to free society.

    Black Mary’s brother, Caeser (T. Mychael Rambo), is an Uncle Tom character who one can’t help but be angry with (and even sympathize with him a bit) for his deplorable decisions as an enforcer of the law. The only remaining character, Rutherford Selig (Terry Hempleman), is a white salesperson who fills only a minor role in the plot.

    Knight plays a lively almost-300-year-old, but because Ester is such a
    mystical figure, and because Wilson reveals in King Hedley II that she
    lives to be 366 — hence she has almost a century of life remaining in Gem of the Ocean — her youthful portrayal of an elderly woman is not distracting.

    Citizen’s transformation from a nervous young man in the first act to a
    confident man who confronts his demons could have been more delicate, but this lies more in how the play is written than how the character was acted.

    The play, about personal redemption, justice and the law, and the meaning of freedom, is not a must-see, but it is a strong production.


    Performances will run through May 18 on the McGuire Proscenium Stage at the Guthrie. There will be post-play discussions following the May 3 & May 14 matinees.

  • Table Maestro

    Table Maestro, a personalized answering service and remote booking service for the restaurant industry, is going national this week — offering their services across the United States. I’m not quite sure what the differences are between Table Maestro and Open Table, but they claim to be the only ones doing what they’re doing. (Isn’t that just the way it goes?)

    Here’s the press release:

    Charleston,
    S.C.
    – Table Maestro, the country’s only business to provide
    personalized answering and reservation services to the fine dining industry
    will begin this week to offer its services nationally.

    Beginning
    this week, Table Maestro will begin accepting new client requests from
    restaurants throughout the continental U.S., adding to its portfolio of some 20
    restaurants on the East Coast and Mid-Atlantic. The company marks the first to
    offer restaurants a reliable way to increase revenues by outsourcing the
    burdensome process of taking and confirming reservations, while offering
    valuable customer interaction at the same time.

    Table
    Maestro – which launched in 2006 to revive the bygone days of the
    restaurant maître d – serves as an alternative
    to the traditional hostess by answering incoming calls, making and confirming
    reservations, managing customer databases, and maximizing table turnover.
    The company offers restaurants all the advantages of an in house staff
    at less than the cost of minimum wage, providing a way to increase the bottom
    line while taking customer service to new heights.

    "The call for reservations is the first point of contact for
    restaurants, but so many of them are either missing the opportunity for
    bookings or are relying on web-based services that don’t provide
    personalized customer assistance," said founder and CEO Alicia Aloe.
    "Table Maestro offers a cost-effective way for restaurants to make sure
    each call is greeted within two rings by a friendly voice and with superior
    service."

    With 12 years of experience in the restaurant industry, Aloe
    created Table Maestro after noticing how many fine dining establishments lose
    revenue when no one’s available to answer phones.

    When
    a call goes unanswered, studies show that 65
    percent of diners won’t leave a message for a reservation. At the same
    time, the average reservation includes three people. Together, these
    statistics mean that answering just five additional calls a day during off-peak
    times could capture as many as 24 potential clients who would otherwise have
    hung up.

    Since
    launching operations at the age of 26, Aloe has remained committed to the
    belief that restaurants can return to an era of personalized hospitality while
    still meeting today’s mass needs. Her mission has helped grow Table
    Maestro’s business by 1000 percent in just two years.

  • Get Sauced! A Northside Discovery

    It’s in Minneapolis, it’s the best restaurant for miles
    around, and odds are you have never even heard of it.

    Sauced, a little neighborhood bistro at 2203 44th
    Ave. N. (at Penn Ave.) isn’t just the best restaurant in north Minneapolis; it’s the only restaurant in north Minneapolis with a menu
    of contemporary cuisine and a real wine list. Chef John Conklin’s menu ranges
    from spaghetti squash cakes over a red pepper coulis ($9) and seared scallops
    with a chamomile glaze ($11) to seared salmon with saffron risotto ($18) and
    grass-fed beef tenderloin over roasted red potatoes with currant demi-glace.

    North Minneapolis has some charming little neighborhood
    cafes, like the Sunnyside, 1825 Glenwood Avenue North; and Milda’s, 1720
    Glenwood; and Emily’s F&M Café, just down the street from Sauced at 2124 44th
    Ave., but nothing nearly this ambitious.

    When Carol and I stopped by for lunch yesterday, we grazed
    across the menu, starting with a Caesar salad ($9) and the duo of spreads –
    smoked salmon with tarragon and pancetta with blue cheese and roasted walnuts,
    and then moving on to a salad of garlic roasted vegetables with goat cheese,
    served over a bed of spinach with a balsamic vinaigrette ($10), and an entrée
    of bucatini with mushrooms, asparagus and caramelized onions in a red pepper
    cream sauce. We enjoyed it all – the flavors were lively and robust, but still
    had subtlety and nuance, like the notes of fresh tarragon in the smoked salmon
    spread. We really didn’t have room for the roasted peach-strawberry tart ($8),
    but we ordered it anyway, and ate every bite.

    There is a lot more on the menu that I would like to try, including
    the shrimp ceviche ($10) and the tarragon mussels ($11), the cold soup duo of cantaloupe
    peach and tomato gazpacho ($9), and the vegetarian sandwich of avocado,
    oven-dried tomatoes, caramelized onions and cremini mushrooms, topped with Brie
    and served on rosemary kalamata bread ($10). You don’t have to eat fancy,
    though; if all you want is a burger and a beer, the menu also offers a couple
    of Angus beef burgers and a tuna melt, and the selection of tap beers includes Surly
    Bender, Fuller’s ESB, and locally brewed Finnegan’s.

    Later yesterday afternoon, I called Conklin and asked him
    about his plans for the restaurant. "We are not looking at doing anything
    fancy," he told me. "I am not Doug Flicker (chef at Mission American Kitchen),
    I am not trying to do anything that has never been done before. "I am just trying to take the traditional
    French mentality and put to good traditional rustic food."

    Conklin didn’t learn French technique in France, or even at
    a cooking school. He learned his craft on the job, starting as a dishwasher in
    small-town Minnesota at the age of 12, and working his way up. He was as a line
    cook at a Bakers Square in Saint Cloud before going to work for Michael McKay
    at Gallivan’s in Saint Paul; when McKay was hired to open the Sample Room in
    northeast, Conklin joined him as sous-chef. He credits McKay with teaching him
    everything he knows about cooking.

    Conklin and his wife Tricia Clark, and partner Susie
    Gilbertsen took over the restaurant in December, but the sign above the door
    still says Rix, the name of the burger joint that preceded it. He had hoped to
    have a new sign up by April 1, Conklin told me, but there have been some
    unanticipated expenses.

    These guys are facing an uphill climb. A lot of very good
    restaurants have failed in north Minneapolis over the years, from Skip’s
    Barbecue and Lucille’s Kitchen to Rick’s American Café and Coconut Grove. But Conklin is an optimist. He and Tricia
    bought a house nearby in the Folwell neighborhood, and he is not discouraged by
    the abundance of For Sale signs nearby. "I see this neighborhood taking off,"
    he told me He sees families starting to migrate across the river from Northeast
    and buying homes on the north side.

    Wouldn’t it have been a lot safer to open a place in south
    Minneapolis? The idea has no appeal for Conklin: "the people in south
    Minneapolis who can afford $180,000 – $220,000 homes have enough places down
    there."

     

  • Porn Again.

    (Pictured: The 1000HP Hennessy Viper. More on this one in a later
    post. Hennessy is the porn king of American cars and reportedly a real prick. E-mail him.)

    This
    will be an on-going follow-up post to my "Nature Porn" comments a few
    months back. In my my previous post, I covered the world’s most obscene
    SUV for the money—the Hennessy Grand Cherokee SRT-8.

    Like all
    Hennessy cars, this Cherokee offers a compelling alternative to
    something else, such as, for example, a walk through the woods. Others
    are a satisfactory subsitute for Viagra. Or so say the older people who
    can afford them — so they say, it is said, sadly.

    As a former
    canoe camper and devotee of Sigurd OIson (although he did hoard
    electric motors and land), I have always worried that I may be leaving the wrong impression.

    So, here, for starters, are my first picks for the world’s most obscene* "on-road-or-track-only" rides:

    1) The new Mercedes AMG SL series. In their 12-cylinder variants they pump out a cool 738 ft. lbs. of torque (and that’s all that matters.)

    2)
    Yet even in this rarified territory everyone still knows that stock
    sucks. With this in mind, I suggest you call the service manager at Sears
    and ask him for the cell number of the Renntech SL owner I met this morning. I am pretty sure he’ll trade his privacy for a chance at prestigious local press.

    What? Like this blog isn’t?

    A pox on your Prius.

    (*note: what constitutes an "automotive obscenity" is hotly contested)

  • More Rain! Really?

    BOOKS & AUTHORS
    End of Baseball

    Is your favorite Major League Baseball team already out
    of contention for the Pennant? Relax. Peter Schilling’s novel The End of Baseball may be entertainment for those fanatics with a long summer ahead. The End of Baseball
    covers the complete season of the 1944 Philadelphia Athletics in the
    race for the pennant. But Schilling’s novel is much more important than
    following a baseball race; it’s about equality for the human race. The
    story’s exposition follows the eccentric Bill Veeck as he purchases the
    worst franchise in the Majors and tries to make contenders out of them.
    Veeck’s plan to accomplish this lies in replacing his Caucasian players
    with some of the greatest Negro League players — this, of course, in
    the segregated professional baseball era. If you’re interested in following a maverick owner and a team for the ages, The End of Baseball may score a base hit, but it’s the way Schilling treats humility in this story that scores a grand slam. —Joshua Fischer

    Available in bookstores on Friday

    BENEFIT
    6th Annual Fundraiser for Breast Cancer

    You have to love the promotional material for this breast cancer fundraiser: "Can’t run a 5K? Do you suck at baking? Hate working garage sales? Then this is the fundraiser for you. All you have to do is raise your beer bottle and listen to the music, and you’ll be making a difference." Enjoy a candlelit acoustic evening with Trick27 on Friday. Then gear up for a full night of music and dancing on Saturday night with the Street Team from the St. Paul School of Rock, a Lucky Town reunion of Bruce Springsteen classics, and the Tim Sigler Band. All proceeds go to fight breast cancer — ALL of them. Monster Energy Drink donates the printing. The musicians donate their time. And O’Gara’s donates the space.

    Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., O’Gara’s Shamrock Room, 164 Snelling Ave. N., St. Paul.

    FILM
    Planet of the Apes

    "Somewhere in the universe there must be something better than man. In a matter of time, an astronaut will wing through the centuries and find the answer. He may find the most terrifying one of all on the planet where apes are the rulers and man the beast." What more do you want. If you haven’t seen this 1968 Franklin J. Schaffner classic on the big screen, now is the time!

    Friday at 7:10 p.m., Saturday at 4:35, 7:10, and 9:30 p.m., and Sunday at 4:35 and 7:10 p.m., Heights Theatre, 391 Central Ave. N.E., Columbia Heights; 763-788-9079; $8.

    Then She Found Me

    Families
    comes in all shapes and sizes, but the two main ingredients are
    certainly love and trust. Helen Hunt’s directing debut, Then She Found Me, brings the life and passion of Elinor Lipman’s characters to the big screen. After
    being left by her husband (Matthew Broderick), mere months after their
    wedding, April (Helen Hunt) is tracked down by her birth mother (Bette
    Midler) in hopes of starting a relationship. At the same time, April
    begins to form a bond with the father (Colin Firth) of one of her
    kindergarten students. As she struggles to determine the meaning of
    family, she discovers something missing, driven by the burning desire to have
    a baby of her own. —Hannah Simpson

    Opens Friday at Edina Cinema, 3911 W. 50th
    St., Edina; 651-649-4416.


    Big Ideas for a Small Planet

    Back in June, Rake staff and friends had our own little parking squat in honor of green space in the city. Yes, we took a couple of video cameras — and we even got some pretty amusing footage — but oevrall, it was far too uneventful to merit a video for your pleasure. Apparently, somebody else must have had en entirely different experience, because they even made a film about it. This Sunday, you can enjoy a screening of the Sundance Channel award-winning eco-series Big Ideas for a Small Planet, featuring Twin Cities’ National Park(ing) Day. I have to be honest, when The Rake did its parking squat, most of us lacked a clear idea as to why we were there. We simply set up our plants and our chairs in the street by a parking meter, and spouted out something about preserving our green spaces. (And then we played a peanut game.) The screening is sure to far better than that — far more educational and far more amusing. One episode, “Big Ideas for a Small Planet: Food” explores environmentally friendly food and wine.

    Sunday at 2 p.m., F.K. Weyerhauser Auditorium, Landmark Center, 75 W. 5th St., Downtown St. Paul; RSVP.

    ART
    The Figure and the Landscape

    Figure and landscape. Sculpture and photography — black and white landscape photography. What’s the connection? Go see a beautiful exploration by recognized Minnesota sculptors and photographers at the Vine Art Center. Experience "the powerful and sensual nature of landscape and figurative work." The exhibition, which runs from May 2nd to June 24th, features work by Will Agar, Doug Beasley, Chris Faust, Roger Junk, Brant Kingman, Jeff Korte, and Nick Legeros. There will be an opening reception this Friday, and an artist discussion panel on Thursday, May 22nd.

    Friday from 6-10 p.m., Vine Arts Center, 2637 27th Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-728-5745.

    Ben Garthus & Greg Priglmeier

    Life is no movie. We have no soundtrack. (Ok. Sometimes we do.) But we sure have plenty of background noise — background noise and visual noise, which somehow play off each other in a most fascinating way. Local artists Ben Garthus and Greg Priglmeier have joined forces to bring us Background Noise, an attempt to capture the cultural, political, and environmental conditions of city life — "traffic patterns, animal behavior, artificial environments and cultural changes." While Garthus focuses more on consumption and by-products, Priglmeier explores unseen connections to our environment.

    Saturday from 7-10 p.m. (show runs through May 31st), Rosalux Gallery, 1011 Washington Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-803-6400; free.


    Portraits of Mental Illness

    Ok. I don’t usually promote art exhibits at hospitals and coffee shops, but sometimes you just gotta do what you don’t do. May is Mental Health Month, and HCMC — actually, Spectrum Community Mental Health and Inspire Arts — is doing their part by hosting Living Beyond Poster Project: The Portrait Show, featuring portraits of 20 famous and historic figures — ranging from Ernest Hemingway to Jean-Claude Van Damme — who live or lived with a mental illness. Did you even know that Jean-Claude Van Damme has mental illness? (How inappropriate would it be for me to say that explains a lot?) Three of the portraits will be made into posters to raise funds and awareness: Virginia Woolf, Kurt Cobain, and Leo Tolstoy.

    Friday from 4-6 p.m., Inspire Galleries, HCMC Red Building, second level skyway, 730 S. Eighth St., Minneapolis.

    MUSIC
    Greg Brown and the World of Dosh

    Blues, folk, and acustic guitar lovers, check out Greg Brown at the Fitzgerald Theater on Friday. The man has about the sexiest voice imaginable. And on Saturday night, check out avant-rock luminary Martin Dosh at the Walker. They’ve even added an extra performance at 11 p.m. Special guests include Andrew Bird, Jel, Jeremy Ylvisaker, Andrew Broder, and Mike Lewis.

    THEATER & PERFORMANCE
    Long Day’s Journey into Night

    After having to postpone the opening for a week, due to illness in the company, the Theatre in the Round Players are finally commencing their production of Eugene O’Neill’s Long Day’s Journey into Night. Considered by many to be O’Neill’s masterpiece (it won a Pultizer in 1957), Long Day’s Journey narrates a fateful, heart-rendering day in O’Neill’s own life, in August of 1912. Directed by Lynn Musgrave,
    this Theatre in the Round production features Maggie Bearmon Pistner,
    Rachel Finch, Rob Frankel, Tom Sonnek, and Wade Vaughn. Expect a lot of
    alcohol and a little bit of morphine.

    Friday and Saturday at 8 p.m., Sunday at 2 p.m., Theatre in the Round, 45 Cedar Ave., Minneapolis; 612-333-3010; $20.


    Triangle Fire Project

    The Minnesota Jewish Theater Company ends a strong 2007-2008 season with another regional premiere. The Triangle Factory Fire Project
    — directed by Carolyn Levy— tells the story of a fatal fire in the
    Triangle Waist Factory, in 1911, that took 146 lives. Author
    Christopher Piehler (in collaboration with Scott Alan Evans) offers a
    play-by-play of the events, followed by an unappeasing murder trial,
    and a round up of the numerous social and political changes that took
    place as a result.

    Saturday at 8 p.m., Sunday at 2 & 7 p.m.,
    Hillcrest Center Theater    , 1978 Ford Pkwy.; Saint Paul; $20-$24.

    SPECIAL EVENT
    Wilder Center – Grand Opening Celebration

    Celebrate the grand opening of the new Wilder Center with family fun, entertainment, food, and a community services fair. What is family fun? Well, the fun includes a family photo booth, picture frame decorating, a children’s climbing wall, video games (Dance Dance Revolution and Guitar Hero III), and entertainment provided by Larry Yazzie, American Indian Dance, the East Side Dance Group, and the Walker West Music Academy Jazz Ensemble. Construction was completed earlier this year on the new 99,953 square-foot, four-story Wilder Center. The grand opening celebration will mark the official building dedication and allow community members to learn more about Wilder and its services.

    Saturday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., Wilder Center, 451 Lexington Parkway N., Saint Paul; free.

  • Ben Garthus & Greg Priglmeier

    Life is no
    movie. We have no soundtrack. (Ok. Sometimes we do.) But we sure have plenty of background
    noise — background noise and visual noise, which somehow play off each
    other in a most fascinating way. Local artists Ben Garthus and Greg
    Priglmeier have joined forces to bring us Background Noise,
    an attempt to capture the cultural, political, and environmental
    conditions of city life — "traffic patterns, animal behavior,
    artificial environments and cultural changes." While Garthus focuses
    more on consumption and by-products, Priglmeier explores unseen
    connections to our environment.

    Opening reception on Saturday, May 3rd, from 7-10 p.m. (show runs through May 31st), Rosalux Gallery, 1011 Washington Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-803-6400; free.

  • The Figure and the Landscape

    Figure and
    landscape. Sculpture and photography — black and white landscape
    photography, to be precise. What’s the connection? Go see a beautiful exploration by
    recognized Minnesota sculptors and photographers at the Vine Art Center.
    Experience "the powerful and sensual nature of landscape and figurative
    work." The exhibition, which runs from May 2nd to June 24th, features work
    by Will Agar, Doug Beasley, Chris Faust, Roger Junk, Brant Kingman,
    Jeff Korte, and Nick Legeros. There will be an opening reception on
    Friday, May 2nd (6-10 p.m.) and an artist discussion panel on Thursday, May 22nd (7
    p.m.)

    Vine Arts Center, 2637 27th Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-728-5745.

  • A+B=WTF

    On Wednesday, April 30, 2008, Sen. John McCain jumped the
    shark.

    Now, I’ve got a lot of respect for the man. He’s always been
    something of a straight shooter. And when a man spends time in a POW camp and
    can’t raise his arms above his shoulders as a result, I’m inclined to cut the
    guy some slack. But in a campaign stop in Pennsylvania yesterday, McCain claimed that pork
    barrel spending caused the 35W bridge to fall down go boom    . Pork barrel
    spending didn’t cause the bridge to fall. All reports up until now point to
    trade school engineers from the 60s who were likely too baked to carry the
    damn one. And given how commonly politicians have taken the "If I say it, it
    must be true" approach this campaign season, I would’ve much rather watched the
    GOP’s candidate for president actually jump the Mississippi on a
    motorcycle     than listen to a man formerly known for candid statements trying to score political points by holding court whilst spewing
    forth a toxic slurry of obfuscating crap that would rival the noxious sludge at
    the bottom of the Mississippi itself.

    But why do candidates feel so comfortable hocking these
    juicy loogies of misinformation at us? They know that the words
    tumbling forth from their forked tongues are simply a devious combo of smoke,
    mirrors, and sweet pandering nothings that smoothly caress the genitalia of
    their base constituencies, thus lulling them deeper into a bullshit-induced
    trance, right? Most blame television for forcing politicians to compress complicated
    issues into easy to digest bites. TV conditioned people to want
    their news spoon-fed – meaning whoever screams the loudest with the most glib
    sound bite generally is regarded as the prophet of truth. This applies even when the person screaming the loudest is the crazy fucker having a dance
    party in his underwear in front of Block E.

    But the honest truth is that the blame for the sorry state
    of affairs that is the American political system falls squarely on the eagerly
    nodding culture whores known as American citizens. It’s us. We’re the reason Jeremiah
    Wright’s sermons make such effective weapons in a campaign. It’s our fault John
    McCain feels justified in using the deaths of 13 Minnesotans to make an
    unrelated point about earmarks. And it’s my own damn fault I’m wondering why Al Franken
    couldn’t find a nice Jewish uncle to keep his books. We’ve become a
    society of listless zombies who claim to be too busy to understand the issues
    at hand, but also refuse to devote any of that precious time to information
    that may contradict opinions or worldviews developed by listening to the chorus of malformed mewling
    creatures     polluting the public dialogue.

    Make no mistake, it is pollution. Yes, Rev. Jeremiah Wright
    said "God damn America."
    In fact, he danced on the altar while a chorus of seraphim drifted down from
    the heavens to sing those very words in a bawdy sea chanty written by the
    Archangel Gabriel himself. It doesn’t matter all that much though, since Wright isn’t
    running for president. Plus, it’s highly unlikely that, should Sen. Obama be
    elected the next president, he’ll take punitive steps against white America.
    Steps like outlawing rugby, New Balance sneakers, Volvos, Joe Mauer and his thrice-damned sideburns or any of the other ridiculous crap we fetishize. But because we’ve spent the
    last two months with politicians and pundits alike regurgitating bile and
    chunky bits of flag-waving rhetoric, Sen. McCain’s health care proposal hasn’t
    gotten the coverage, or scrutiny, it deserves. The lack of details in Sen.
    Obama’s plan hasn’t exactly been called out as a particular failing either. And
    because we’ve been too busy obsessing over what appears to be an innocuous
    accounting mistake on Al Franken’s part, no one has taken the time to marvel at
    the profound stupidity of Hillary Clinton staging
    a press event at a gas station     to demonstrate just how in touch with the
    plight of the common man she truly is while advocating for a gas tax
    holiday     that would save the average American about $30 over three months.

    A well-informed populace is vital to the operation of a
    democracy, according to our slave-owning, and banging, founding father Thomas
    Jefferson. And sad to say, we’re not well-informed. We’re well-indoctrinated. So we debate over whether Obama is,
    in fact, an Islamo-fascist for not wearing a flag lapel pin. We fight over whether McCain’s
    "senior moments" are the result of campaign trail exhaustion or a sign that
    he’ll be in Depends
    before his second term. And we shiver in fear as we wonder whether Hillary Clinton is a creature risen from the
    grave by sheer force of will, determined to win the presidency in order to
    secure access to the delicious babies necessary to sustain her unholy semblance
    of life. And all of that pointless noise pollution goes a long way toward explaining why, in the midst of this
    interminable, abominable election season, our status as one of the greatest and most influential superpowers
    this world has ever known can now be summarized in just under two minutes by Grand Theft Auto IV’s Serbian protagonist –
    Nico Bellic.

  • The Triangle Factory Fire Project

    The Minnesota Jewish Theater Company ends a strong 2007-2008 season with another regional premiere. The Triangle Factory Fire Project — directed by Carolyn Levy— tells the story of a fatal fire in the Triangle Waist Factory, in 1911, that took 146 lives.  Author Christopher Piehler (in collaboration with Scott Alan Evans) offers a play-by-play of the events, followed by an unappeasing murder trial, and a round up of the numerous social and political changes that took place as a result.