hey, you got some grass?
Saturday’s Fair Index
(with apologies to Harpers)
Number of Lark-bound old ladies that got stuck in the fergaliscious crowd in front of KDWB: 2
Chances that someone sucking down a shake by the dairy barn would step in dung: 1 in 4
Ratio of fanny-packs to tube tops at noon: 5:2
Ratio of fanny-packs to tube tops at 6pm: 2:7
Chances that a 4-H kid got a fat man to fall for the dollar-on-a-string gag: 9 in 10
In inches, the average overflow stack on area garbage cans: 15.6
Percentage of people eating a turkey leg that also carried a pitcher of beer as their beverage: 22%
Amount of time after horking down a soft pretzel that I was seduced by French crepes: 3 seconds
Amount of time that I spent looking for a SPAM burger before giving up: 2 hours
Percentage of my family that wanted to go see the Butter Heads with me: 0%
Percentage of certainty that I will go again before Labor Day: 100%
Tuesday is the REAL food day at the fair…Check out Carousel Park tomorrow for all the Minnesota Cooks action: chefs, food personalities, local politicians, and moi. I’ll be on the tasting panel at 11am tomorrow, sampling the work of JP and Tracy Singelton, and clanking forks with the revolutionaries of Axdahl Farms. Then maybe someone will go see the Butter Heads with me.
Come on down now, ya hear?
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