And A Strapping Lad Shall Lead Ye Back Upon The Path Of Righteousness

Is it not against all natural reason that God out of his mere whim deserts men, hardens them, damns them, as if He delighted in sins and in such torments of the wretched for eternity, He who is said to be of such mercy and goodness? This appears iniquitous, cruel, and intolerable in God, by which very many have been offended in all ages. And who would not be? I was myself more than once driven to the very abyss of despair so that I wished I had never been created. Love God? I hated Him!

–Martin Luther, in Roland Bainton’s Here I Stand

America is always in desperate need of new heroes, and what could be lovelier for this cynical, hard-hearted nation (not to mention for a sport with a spastic, rubber-jowled, spit-spraying, pencil-necked, talking lapdog for a commissioner) than a hero named Boof?

Honestly, I can’t think of one thing.


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