The Rake Magazine

Category: Blog Post

  • Breaking Down The Blockbuster Trade With Memphis

    Joe Murphy/NBAE/Getty Images

    Let’s start this with the big fat cavaet that I rarely watch, and am certainly not very well versed about, college basketball. And since two of the key principals in the eight-player swap that the Timberwolves and Grizzlies pulled off in the middle of the night Thursday/Friday are high-caliber college players, I am working with hearsay and inferences rather than my own eyes about how good or appropriate Kevin Love and OJ Mayo will be while plying their now-lucrative trade for their new NBA teams. Maybe when I get a gander at Love and Mayo in action, I’ll have a totally different take. For that matter, maybe my college ignorance is why I seem to be among the minority (and in agreement with ESPN’s Chad Ford, which may be worse) in thinking it is a good trade for Minnesota. So be it. You can only go with what you think you know. I’m not trying to hedge, I’m just honestly laying out the context.

    First of all, the question isn’t whether the Timberwolves helped themselves last night–compare the pre-draft and post-draft rosters and try to tell me they didn’t significantly upgrade–but whether they helped themselves as much as they could. My answer is no, they didn’t, but that’s because they idiotically punted the 34th pick for no discernible reason other than to be pennywise, and we all know the second half of that course of action.

    Let’s cut to the chase. Here are the reasons I really like the Memphis deal.

    1) Mike Miller, who is one of the more underrated players in this league.

    Well, maybe not underrated so much as unknown despite his gaudy accomplishments. If you put out the trivia question: "Which NBA player has been named both Rookie of the Year (in 2000-01) and 6th Man of the Year (2005-06) during his career?" how many guesses would it take before folks came up with Miller? Having turned 28 in February, the guy is in his prime, yet sports the kind of game that isn’t likely to fall off a cliff once he moves past 30. Last season was arguably the best of his career. He sank over half his shots (50.2%), which is made more impressive by the fact that over 40% of them were treys (359 three pointers, out of 824 total FGA), of which he converted 43.2%. Those are career-best numbers but not a huge aberration, as Miller is a career 40.3% shooter from behind the arc after nine NBA seasons. He also led the Grizz in rebounds last year, averaging 6.7 per game, and doled out 3.4 assists. He’s 6-8–a legitimate 3 and a matchup problem for opponents at the 2. He is a floor-spacer par excellence, making it very difficult for teams to double down on Al Jefferson in the low block without getting singed from outside.

    2) Having a plan and sticking to it.

    The most glaring need for the Wolves coming into the draft was gaining size, and picking up personnel that would banish the absurd smallball that had Jefferson at center and Ryan Gomes at power forward many times during the season. Taking OJ Mayo with the third overall pick meant that for the fourth straight year the Wolves were drafting a backcourt swingman (McCants/Foye/Brewer/Mayo). When the team thought Mayo was indeed their pick, I heard Fred Hoiberg tell the Draft Party audience that they could always address the need for a big in free agency. Ah, but when you look at the free agent list, it’s slim pickin’s indeed–the best of the lot are probably Kurt Thomas and Dasagna Diop, both less-than-perfect fits (to put it mildly) who will command inflated salaries on the free market. So, that meant paying through the nose or putting up with another year of Mark Madsen and Chris Richard when you didn’t want to play smallball.

    Now you’ve got Jason Collins, who has fallen off a bit but is still a better complement to Jefferson in the pivot than anyone else previously on the roster. He’s a legit seven-footer who doesn’t need touches on offense and knows his meal ticket is rugged defense. You’ve got Collins for one year and then his $6.2 million comes off the books and you might have to look for another backup center before you can bring over the hot second round pick Nikola Pekovic, who most agree can be a player in the pivot once his rich deal with a team in Greece expires in two years.

    But more importantly, if you’re Kevin McHale, you have eliminated excuses, introduced more direct accountability, and gone out and acquired the person you unequivocally state is "the best big man in the draft." Kevin Love is just a shade under 6-10, has a wide body, is reputed to be a tenacious rebounder, and was named the Player of the Year in the PAC-10 as a freshman, a league that also contained OJ Mayo, Brook Lopez and Russell Westbrook. Many think he is too small to succeed in the NBA paint: McHale is not one of them. The Wolves front office get feisty in pointing out that his combine numbers for size and athleticism compare with Atlanta center Al Horford. They think Jefferson and Love are a legit 4/5, or 5/4, depending on the matchups. I don’t know if they’re right, but I do strongly suspect that Jefferson/Love will play bigger than Jefferson/Gomes, with the 7-footer Collins available to change the mix. More to the point, you don’t have a paucity of big men that enable you to trot out a 3-guard offense as the other side of frontcourt smallball and pretend that’s what you really wanted to do. If you’re McHale, you drafted Randy Foye stating that he can be a combo guard with a primary emphasis on the point, and OJ Mayo is not around to gum up and otherwise complicate that evaluation. The Wolves needed size and they got a better backup than they had last year and the person they believe is the best big man to come out of college this year. If they’re wrong, it will be very easy to notice.

    3) Boil down the legacy and it’s a 2-for-1 swap

    Thank god for salary cap junkies who keep us all honest, and for closet GM types always figuring the roster angles. They will have a field day with this 8-player (count ’em, eight!) deal and all its salary implications and ability to maneuver or not. Well, having watched this Wolves squad for the past four non-playoff seasons, I am well aware of what Marko Jaric, Antoine Walker and Greg Buckner bring to the table. Jaric has been reviled for what he got–a ridiculous contract that will pay him more than $7 million a year through 2010-11–and what he was not–he was not a good complement for Kevin Garnett, not good in the clutch, not capable of making anyone forget he cost not only Sam Cassell but a precious first round pick that has led to tanking by the franchise in order to keep it. Marko can be a spasmodically effective player in a "do all the little things mode." That’s not the definition of a $7 million man, however. Walker would have been bought out last year if he hadn’t greedily wanted more than he was worth to go away. And Buckner spent more time in street clothes than a uniform.

    Minnesota is not exempt in this deal from taking on the Grizzlies’ mistakes. Foremost among them is Brian Cardinal, who will make $6.5 million a year through 2009-10 and is less effective than Jaric. And Collins we’ve already discussed–overpaid at more than $6 million. So there you have it. The players who are truly coveted in this exchange, the ones whose talent really matters and will thus determine the legacy of the deal, amounts to OJ Mayo for Memphis and Mike Miller and Kevin Love for the Wolves. And that’s what will have to be determined: Is OJ Mayo ultimately worth more or less than Love and Miller?

    Those are the three reasons why I currently endorse the trade. But do I perceive there to be any downsides to the deal? Yeah, some potentially serious downsides. This is by no means a slam-dunk bonanza. Here are my primary concerns.

    1) No defense and lots of turnovers

    The Wolves brass seem convinced that Love and Jefferson on the front line is perfectly sufficient–no, even better, part of the
    new vogue–for the long term future of the franchise. But almost all the raving I’ve heard about Love is about his passing, his midrange and long range shooting, his savvy box-outs–not a lot about his defense. On top of that, there are some questions about his physicality in the paint. Now I know Jefferson’s game, and his offense is light years ahead of his defense. So going with a pair of legit power forwards who don’t excel at D sounds like a recipe for disaster in the paint against large lineups. True, large lineups don’t happen even a majority of the time anymore, but, funny, the really good teams seem to be able to defend them, mostly by having one themselves. Not to put too fine a point on it: Minnesota’s interior defense could be in trouble if Jefferson and Love are your frontcourt. Maybe it will be better than Jefferson-Gomes, simply because Love is larger, but let’s not forget that Gomes is pretty big (250 pounds) and smart too.

    What’s more, you no longer have Mayo in the backcourt and by most accounts, Mayo can be very good with perimeter defense. Stopping penetration was one of the team’s biggest bugaboos last year, and Mike Miller doesn’t seem like the answer. In fact a quintet of Jefferson-Love-Gomes-Miller-Foye, as marvelous as it might be on offense, sounds like a disaster on D. The Wolves would win and lose a lot of game by scores like 115-111, and that’s not the way to build a winning culture in the NBA.

    The silver lining in this, perhaps, anyway, is that the NBA showed us this year that defense is more than ever (in this time of zones are okay and hand-checking isn’t) about time synergy more than individual prowess. The Celtics only had two good/great individual defenders in its starting lineup–KG and Rondo–yet played masterfully together, rotating and fluctuating as if everyone was on a string. By contrast, the Nuggets had two defensive studs among its five starters–Marcus Camby and Anthony Carter–and played wretched, dreadful, pathetic team defense. The lesson is emphasis and motivation. Do I think current coach Randy Wittman can emphasize and motivate a subpar defensive team to be appreciably better than their individual collective talents? No, not really, which is why this is a concern.

    The other concern with the new Wolves roster is turnovers. For all of Miller’s strengths, he turns the ball over more 2.6 times per game, which is plentiful. As a rookie, even a precocious one, Love is going to make mistakes that lead to turnovers. Most importantly, Randy Foye is going to have to be your floor general and steady ballhandler. In addition to being a porous defender last season, Foye was hardly Mr. Steady with the handle. In fact I’d say Bassy Telfair is a large beneficiary of this trade, even as Corey Brewer seems penalized by it.

    2) That Mayo is a Superstar about to happen

    On draft night a few years back, everyone was wondering whether Detroit should have taken Carmelo Anthony instead of Darko. Turns out the real choice was Dwyane Wade after LeBron. It happens every year: Some people thought Marcus Williams deserved to go over Chris Paul and Deron Williams and some thought it idiotic. And there was Foye/Roy. Now we’ve got two guys who are consensus stars in Rose and Beasley, and divided opinion on OJ Mayo. Some see him as star who belongs in the conversation with Rose and Beasley, much as Wade did with LeBron and Melo. If those people are right, then this will obviously be a horrible trade for Minnesota. There are some things that could make it much less horrible–the emergence of Randy Foye into a star himself, making Mayo’s stardom redundant to the position; or the overachievement of Kevin Love from very solid pro to Chris Bosh-like invaluability. As I said before, the legacy boils down to Love/Miller for Mayo. And if Mayo is the dominant star who leads his team beyond expectation, bad deal for Minnesota.

    I’ll tell you what I’m not concerned about. I’m not concerned about Mike Miller retarding the development of Corey Brewer and inflating the Wolves to mediocrity so it can’t seize any more stud draft picks. If Brewer develops, he’ll earn minutes–the Wolves desperately a quality defender in their rotation–and the idea that Miller is going to come and go before he can be really important to the franchise underestimates his shelf life value.

    Last but not least, I want to reiterate how dumb it was for Minnesota to fritter away its second second-rounder at #34. I like the blockbuster Memphis trade (with the college cavaet unfortunately attached) and the first second rounder, who seems to be a mixture of draft luck and solid scouting. But this seems like it was a pretty deep draft–at least that’s what the Wolves braintrust itself was telling everyone to get its flock excited about the second rounders. And this did seem to be a draft where there was more-than-usual disagreement about who did and didn’t have first-round potential, meaning that some players regarded by smart, diligent scouts as first-rounders were still there at #34. For the Wolves to let Miami simply take it from them for two future second-rounders and cash feels like a lack of resolve to improve as rapidly as possible and bear relatively small cost for trying.

    More than that, it was stupid public relations. As one of the commenters to his site, Andy G, mentioned last night, there is going to be at least one or two players picked at or beyond #34 that will pan out in this league, opening the Wolves up to the same kind of scorn they received for Josh Howard.

    Worst of all, it may be the pick they handed over to Miami that is the specific example. The Heat chose Mario Chalmers, who the rep of being a steadying influence, a selfless point guard who enabled his more talented teammates at Kansas and then hit the big shot when it mattered to send the championship game into overtime. In other words, Chalmers is calm, seasoned and without a lot of ego. Now he is going to a team that has a pretty dire situation at the point, meaning that Chalmers might be able to work his way into getting quality minutes with a starting unit that includes Wade, Beasley and Shawn Marion. There’s potential for 8-10 assists per game right there, and if Chalmers gets them as a rookie, he’s going to have a very high profile. For all I know, this will be a laughable scenario when we look back on it a year from now. But if so, the Wolves will have dodged a bullet–and one fired from a gun they handed over to their critics.

  • Loud and Proud: Twin Cities Pride Weekend Is Here!

    FESTIVALS
    Pride Weekend Spotlight: LOW LIFE Minneapolis

    As part of the all-city-consuming extravaganza that is this year’s Pride Weekend, hip (and delicious) Loring hot spot Nick and Eddie
    jumps on the bandwagon for their first year open during the Festival.
    Calling in favors from their hipper-than-thou friends in New York to
    rock the alley behind the restaurant, which is definitely one of the
    more charming alleys (really) in the city, you can expect the most
    enticing of stage shows and the most glamorous of costuming. Put on by
    the infamous NYC nightlife pioneers from The Jackie Factory,
    this is one Pride stop that you certainly do not want to miss.
    Hopefully you won’t be so enthralled by the show that you forget to
    stop by the Festival in Loring Park, the Parade on Sunday, or any
    number of other fantastic Pride events going on over the weekend. Not
    sure where to begin? Click HERE.


    Friday from 7pm, Sat-Sun from 2pm, Nick & Eddie, 1612 Harmon Place, Loring Park, Free


    FILM
    My Winnipeg

    Described by Maddin as a "Docu-fantasia," My Winnipeg
    portrays the director’s hometown and his experiences growing up there.
    The film is somewhat of therapy for Maddin, putting down in writing
    and on the big screen many of his remembrances, thoughts, opinions, and
    stories he heard while growing up in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. The
    melding of melo-dramatic silent-film style cinematography with archival
    footage from the past gives the film a real nostalgic feel. – Christopher Kelleher

    Read the full review…HERE

    Opening Friday, Lagoon Cinema, 1320 Lagoon Avenue, Uptown, $8.75

    Pride Bonus: The Walker is screening the Queer Takes film series through the weekend!


    MUSIC
    John Hiatt and The Ageless Beauties

    John Hiatt
    is an ersatz curmudgeon, a faux eccentric, a dilapidated Everyman with
    an undeniably big heart and an equally undeniable knack for songwriting.
    He can jangle a slant-back country blues song or ambush you emotionally
    by confessing for redemption. He’s got elements of a Nashville pro
    and a guy who’s listened to a lot of Dylan. He’s a painstaking lyricist
    who doesn’t try to make it all add up. His latest album, Same Old Man – between his 15th and 25th
    release, depending on how you count best-ofs, live recordings, and groups
    like Little Village – may be his most enjoyable
    outing since the sweet spot two-fer of Bring The Family
    and Slow Turning in 1987 and ’88, but it isn’t that much
    better than the ones in-between. –Britt Robson

    Friday, Pantages Theater, 710 Hennepin Ave., Downtown Minneapolis, $47.50

    Pride Bonus: In the mood for something a little more boisterous? Head to nearby Epic Nightclub for the "Big Gay Pride Party"

     

    ART
    Order, Happiness, and other Fictional Perceptions

    Imaginative curator Emma Berg of mplsart.com
    brings us an interesting body of work featuring photography by Conor
    King, collage by Jaron Childs, drawings by Pam Valfer, and film by Amy
    Pierce – all artists with a connection to Minnesota. This exhibit
    invites the viewer to "look beyond the first layers of assumptions and
    into those that are born from looking into the obscured details." The
    artists were challenged to delve into themselves and examine
    assumptions and perceptions of everyday life – things that too often
    pass us by. Not to mention, The Gallery at Fox Tax,
    always throws killer openings that attract a bevy of up and comers on
    the Minneapolis art scene. Good people watching to be sure! Want to
    make a night of it? Dine at The Red Stag Supper Club, located virtually right next door to the gallery! Runs through July 26th.

    Saturday, 6pm-11pm, The Gallery at Fox Tax, 503 1st Avenue NE, Northeast Minneapolis, Free


    ART
    Umber Studios 1 Year Anniversary

    This
    little-known underground art gallery has been quietly throwing some of
    the best art parties in the Twin Cities for the past year. Umber has
    featured photography, drawing, painting, and installation work by artists
    of all levels and backgrounds which makes for unexpected and
    adventurous exhibits – thanks to the in-the-know artists who run the
    space. Speak of, tonight’s show will focus on work by those very
    people, Umber founders Jessica Helvey, Janelle Vircks, and Phil Behrend.
    All amazing artists in their own right, it’s time for a moment in the
    sun for these scene supporters who have devoted so much of their time
    and energy to up and coming local creatives of all shapes, sizes, and
    mediums!

    Saturday, 8pm, Umber Studios, 3109 E 42nd Ave., South Minneapolis, Free


    FESTIVALS
    GLBT Pride Parade

    There is no question that the annual Pride Parade
    is THE most visually enticing and entertaining parade of them all.
    Forget Miss Cowpatty Minnesota riding in a convertible, or your typical
    off-key highschool marching band – the Pride Parade is what (fabulously gay)
    dreams are made of! Last year about 135,000 people showed up, so I’d
    suggest getting there early to stake your claim on some prime
    parade-viewing real estate. You’d hate to miss the scores of gloriously
    adorned trannies strutting their stuff, the decked out and shimmering
    floats, or the inevitably oiled up, half-naked men that will be out if
    full force. If that last sentence didn’t hook you, well then, I’m not exactly sure what would. The parade starts at 11am on 9th and Hennepin and ends at Loring Park. Pre-Parade show at 9th and Hennepin starting at 9am. For more Pride events click HERE.

    Sunday, 9am pre-show, 11am parade, 9th & Hennepin, Downtown Minneapolis, Free

  • Highlights from Aspen

    Instead of giving you the day-by day-reports of Melly
    in Aspen, here are a few of the highlights.

    Swiller decided that we all should get a little high from
    mother earth, and we did — a super cold, wet, and intense high, care of Blazing Adventures.

    After the 45-minute bus ride, in which we made friends with the
    other adventure seekers, we were dropped off next to a port-a-potty on the side
    of the road next to the Roaring Fork river.

    Brad K — our life line guy if anyone falls
    overboard, and a cutie pie in an adventuresome kind of way — was very specific about the instructions: "Pee now if you have to because it’s two hours in the
    raft, and I don’t want anyone taking a leak in my wetsuits or on my rafts!"

    You really get to know people when you are all taking off your
    clothes, putting on stinky wetsuits (which the Blazing Adventure crew told us were washed the night before, yet still smelled like sour feet), and
    lining up to use the port-a-potty that had one roll of toilet paper for all 30
    of us.

    Being the outdoorsy gal that I am… "Screw the
    instructions; I need some bathroom privacy and a moment to question whether or not I should be
    participating in a whitewater raft when the river is at the highest it’s been in 20 years."

    Well, I sat my crack next to the crack part on the raft (Brad’s
    advice and words, not mine) and took my spot right behind Aimée Sedley (Cleveland Mike’s
    wife) with Bobby Swiller at the helm and Missy and my husband on the right. Brad, the sassy adventure guide, was in charge of steering.

    Every five seconds it was Swiller telling us to row (even though
    Brad said not to) with Aimée snapping at Swiller because she actually knew what she was
    doing and Missy smiling politely while Cleveland Mike was getting soaked and my husband was
    off on Planet Howard.

    After making our way through Barking Dog —
    almost getting decapitated, thanks to the high waves and large tree in the middle of the river — through
    Toothache rapid (the name given by all of the people that have lost half their teeth,
    and I am sure a few Veeners since they’re Aspen people after all), and finally ending up at our destination, all I
    could think of was getting me off the raft. I had three bottles of water that were about to
    explode out of my wet suit if I didn’t get to a bathroom quick.

    As I was squeezing myself to hold it, however, Swiller
    thought it would be funny to have Melly help get the raft and equipment up the hill and over to the
    bus.

    Yes, I made it; and could be wrong about this, but there
    were a lot of people jumping in the river right after we were done… I’m just
    sayin’, I think I know where the bad smell of the wetsuits comes from.

    Taking off the Sleestacks-looking garb in the hot sun felt
    so good that I didn’t even care that my 40-year-old butt was hanging out of my swimsuit
    for all my new adventure friends to see. I did, however, feel bad about the two huge bins full of snacks —particularly the granola bars — being passed over by those who caught a glimpse of my mushy backside.

    "Well, at least I won’t be seeing any
    of these other people again,"     I thought to myself.

    Yeah, well, on the bus ride back I learned that one of my new
    adventure friends used to live in Minneapolis and was responsible for negotiating one of the
    biggest business deals my father has had in his career. Terrific. It was time for Melly to
    cover up quickly and try to act and look halfway respectable.

    To check out what happened to the group that went out after
    us go to "Fast water leads to river rescue," Aspen Daily News, Saturday, June
    21, 2008.

  • United Noodle Deli to Expand

    One of my favorite little lunch spots is the Chinese deli
    hidden away inside United Noodles, the oriental market hidden away inside the
    Seward neighborhood in south Minneapolis.

    There are only five tables, and no table service – you order
    at the counter, and bus your own dishes when you’re done. The menu is very
    limited – actually, there is no menu, just a few signs taped here and there,
    with some photos, plus the steam tables, where the foods aren’t labeled, but
    easy enough to figure out.

    United Noodles Combo

    This is a different
    kind of Chinese food than you’ll find on most Chinese restaurant menus – even
    the more authentic places, like Mandarin Kitchen, or Grand Shanghai – it’s
    really more like Chinese home cooking, or Chinese street food. The last time I
    visited the choices included big chunks of stewed beef and radish, chopped pork
    with long bean, chicken with broccoli, and glistening red slabs of barbecued
    pork and glazed roast duck.

    I usually go for the combo special – any three of the
    entrees, plus rice and tea for $6.99, but I have also enjoyed the Taiwan style
    beef noodle soup – stewed beef and fat noodles garnished with chopped green
    onions and cilantro.

    The deli is going to close for remodeling sometime around
    July 15, and reopen a couple of weeks later with an expanded kitchen, including
    a grill for cooking American food. ("American food?" – "Like steak." ) And
    eventually, they are also going to start serving shabu-shabu, a Japanese hot
    pot dish that’s a little like sukiyaki. But not in the summer – nobody eats
    shabu-shabu in the summer.

    United Noodles, 2015 E. 24th St., in the
    Seward neighborhood of Minneapolis. 612-721-6677.

    Store hours
    Monday to Saturday: 9am – 7pm
    Sunday: 9am – 6pm

    Deli Hours
    Monday: CLOSED
    Tuesday to Saturday: 11am – 6pm
    Sunday: 11am – 5pm

    Just a reminder – if you have dined recently at the Citizen Cafe, and want to join in on the crowdsourced review (see the link above), you have until this Sunday, June 29 to post your comments, or send them to me at iggers@rakemag.com.

  • Extra Extra–Wolves Trade Mayo To Memphis for Love in 8-player Deal

    *****Check bottom of text for live blogging updates

    Last update of McHale-Stack-Hoiberg press conference at 1:45 a.m.****

    It’s less than four hours before the start of the NBA Draft and as most regular readers know, I claim no expertise in these matters–life’s too short, and college hoops loses out to my family, music, politics, etc., in terms of filling my noggin with temporarily useful trivia. But I know that many of you folks are both knowledgeable and passionate about this draft thing, and frankly, more than my own take, I want to do my part to expand the conversation among you. For example, those of who with more than a passing interest in the Wolves’ prospects tonight who don’t know about Stop and Pop’s Canis Hoopus site www.canishoopus.com, well, it is probably a must-read–and more informative than what you’ll get out of me this evening. Fortunately, S+P can’t help himself and doesn’t hoard his wisdom, so he’ll probably come by at some point to offer an abridged version of his reaction here.

    Ironically, because I’m not as consumed by the event as I am for the actual basketball games, it will be easier for me to bring along my laptop to the Target Center and do that newfangled "live blogging" thing that’s so rad with the kids. I have no idea how that will unfold, and whether you’ll get many frequent updates or the intermittant chapter and verse. We’ll see how it plays out.

    Before that happens–and before I let you folks get in your pre-draft thoughts, if you have any and care to share them–I’ll just say that I feel more confident about the Wolves’ braintrust this time around. They’ve clearly put more person-hours into breaking down the prime prospects, both during the college and international season and since the lottery. And I’ve been impressed with the way they have kept their options open, to the point where they seem like they are in the mix to get Beasley in a deal, or otherwise not only land a player they really like but some other assets besides. Now just because they have put themselves in a position to participate in the multitude of scenarios that are doubtlessly flying back and forth today doesn’t mean they will exercise the right timing, boldness, and restraint and ultimately make the best decision. But the commitment and thoroughness thus far is already an improvement over the organization’s behavior in most of the previous drafts.

    My own gut feeling–and that’s what people call it when their brains can’t be definitive on a subject–is that neither Mayo nor Love is a perfect fit but would still substantially improve the ballclub, and that Beasley, if the scouting reports on his talent are accurate, would be a great boon and perhaps mark a turning point for the franchise. FWIW, I have no problems with the "character" of either Mayo or Beasley in anything I’ve read (Love is apparently so above reproach there are no "character" comments necessary). In fact I thoroughly enjoyed Beasley’s comments about being a teenager and not being sure he wants to try and act 25, 30, or 40 years old right now. Refreshing honest, common sense, and, yes, more maturity than I would have had at that age.

    Okay, see you down at the Target Center…

     

    6:34--Everyone knows the Bulls are taking Derek Rose. Jay Bilas just said "he’s better than anybody they’ve got" thus erupting out of the gate with the first hyperbole of the evening. Rose may or may not turn out to be better than Luol Deng (I wouldn’t bet the house on it), but the casual way Bilas tossed this out makes me realize that I’m going to have to hold my tongue or spend my time kibbutzing all the yo-yos and the dubious things they say.

    6:43: Heat take Beasley. But that’s not surprising, nor should it be if the Wolves take Mayo third. Once you have the commodity, then you can wheel and deal if you have to. And there are a lot of teams that want Beasley, and Mayo. If Beasley and Mayo are still with the Heat and Wolves, respectively, on opening day, I’ll be a little surprised. Then again, the Wolves may step out and take Love at the #3 anyway.

    6:48: Wolves wait until the very end of their time before making their move. And, no surprise, they go with Mayo. Here in the media room, we were told as we came in that McHale would not come down and talk to us until after the second round, giving more credence to the notion that a trade may still be in the works. But thus, it is nothing but rumors.

    Talking to Stephen Smith, Mayo reiterates that he can play point guard. Also he wearing glasses. Don’t know if that’s relevant–obviously there are plenty of pros who wear contacts on the court.

    Now Pat Riley is on, giving every indication that Miami is going to hang on to Beasley. That would be the smart play.

    Seattle takes Russell Westbrook, the first big surprise of the night.

    7:02: Memphis takes Kevin Love, as Kevin McHale bites his knuckle. Almost all the scuttlebutt that has seeped out about the Wolves behind the scenes has McHale favoring Love above anybody. Certainly Love is a great fit for the Grizz, who can play inside and also spread the floor. But the same questions he would have faced in Minnesota will be asked–and, one way or the other, answered–in Memphis. Can he play D and bang enough to maximize his value in the paint?

    7:07: Gallinari to the Knicks. Over at Canis Hoopus, Stop + Pop was saying he thought whoever the Knicks picked would wind up in Minnesota. Well, if so, Gallinari was in the Wolves top four, and IMO was right with Mayo and Love in the second tier on their board.

    Just got word that Fred Hoiberg will be addressing the Wolves draft party downstairs. Be back in awhile…

    7:21: Hoiberg didn’t sat anything surprising.Tim Floyd, his coach at USC (and Hoiberg’s coach at Iowa St.) said Mayo is the most competitive player he has seen in his entire life. Hoiberg loved the interview the team did with OJ–one on zero he called it, meaning, I think, that Mayo didn’t have any handlers. He also said that there was "a realistic chance Miami would take him at #2." He also said he thinks Mayo "will be able to come in and help us right away."

    Asked by Jim Petersen what the Wolves’ biggest need is now, Hoiberg sensibly said "it would be nice to get some size." He pointedly mentioned that there are some free agent centers coming out that they will look at. And on the subject of whether the Wolves will leverage the two second rounders into something else, he said that they might go after some big men from Europe as opposed to getting some more 19-year olders on an already young team.

    7:58: What do you do if you’re the less talented of the two twins and play the same sport at the same school–you rock an Oscar Gamble style Afro. Robin Lopez gets picked by Phoenix, announcing to the world that they are indeed going in a totally different direction.

    And leave it to Golden State to pick the biggest gamble in the draft, the guy people have called a future superstar and a clueless no-hope, LSU center/power forward Anthony Randolph. Asked by Stephen Smith whether he needs to hit the weight room, Randolph scoffs and says nah, not really, he’s always played the biggest and toughest guy on the other team. Mebbee so, but at 6-10 and a robust 197 pounds, NBA opponents only hope he matches up with their 4’s and 5’s in the pros.

    8:03: Clusterfuck time in the media room as it was just announced that OJ Mayo will be available for a conference call in 3 minutes. Everyone is piling in with their audio equipment. These "immediate reactions" never produce squat. Then again, it is not for me but for the sound byte culture who just need verification that he lives and breathes.

    My favorite, "introduction to the media" quote remains Stephon Marbury
    the day he was physically introduced to the Twin Cities media, when he said "point guards are created from God."

    Okay Mayo is on, says he is totally excited happy to be part of organization ready to get started.

    Q; Similar to Foye, how do differentiate?

    A: Fit in however, bring winning attitude.

    You get the gist. Asked if worried about being in smallish market says just happy name called.

    Preference point or two guard?

    Whatever team needs.

    Waht mean to be here tonight after saying at age 9 told Mom wanted to be in NBA?

    happy name called.

    How much better can make team?

    Don’t know just come in play with winning attitude make as well as possible.

    Did he ever play with any Wolves?

    Yes, Brewer.

     Excited to play with Jefferson?

    Most definitely. big guy determined to work hard, so happy to be a part of team plaing alongside Jefferent, Brewer, Randy Foye…

    Never been to Minnesota.

    Larry Fitzgerald asks the first loaded question: What have you heard about Randy Wittman as a coach?

    Mayo adroitly sidesteps, says he hasn’t heard much and then drowns the rest of the sentences in platititudes.

    Okay end of interview. "Thanks, see you guys tomorrow."

    8:18: Portland swings a draft night deal and from my vantage point it looks like Kevin Pritchard strikes again. Jarrett Jack was a subprime point guard and as much as the esteemed S+P likes Brandon Rush, getting a highly-regarded backcourt pick like Bayliss and an intriguing big man like Ike Diogu seems like a good deal for Portland. After getting fleeced by Golden State in the Murphy-Dunleavey deal, they have now unloaded Jermaine O’Neal and pinned their hopes on a point guard combo of AJ Ford and Jarrett Jack. Meanwhile, Portalnd land is swimming in quality big men. Diogu is probably fourth or fifth on the depth chart at the 4/5 slot. Does anyone else think a Hornets-Blazers Western Conference Finals is going to happen for two or three years in a row in the next five years?

    8:37: Just heard from a stray conversation involving a knowledgeable NBA source (don’t try because you’d never guess who it is) that "Seattle isn’t hanging on to Westbrook." I have no idea if this is accurate, but I know this source (who is not connected to the Wolves) has pretty good connections around the league.

    9:17: Two picks to go before the Wolves’ first second-rounder and a couple of guys S+P likes from championship clubs–Douglas-Roberts and Chalmers–are still on the board. So are the remnants of a slew of bigs, including a guy Andy G has talked about for months, Deandra Jordan from Texas A&M. The Pistons and Celts are up first, but it looks like the Wolves are going to get a shot at players that some of my more knowledgeable readers think can be solid contributors.

    9:32: Okay, both the Pistons and Celts have taken seniors, leaving CDR and Chalmers and Jordan on the board–Minnesota has a shot at two of the three, or maybe folks like the big kid from Turkey. This is where knowledge is nonexistant, but I’ll be happy to hear how McHale and company gush about them in about twenty minutes.

    9:40: Nikola Pekovic of Montenegro is the #31. Good news: A big man. All you draft nuts, didn’t I read somewhere that he’s tied up in a long-term contract? This would confirm what Hoiberg was telling the draft party; that the team wanted to stow a couple of Euros and let them develop rather than having more teens over here on the roster. On the other hand, two or three years ago, the Craig Smith draft I think it was, they took another second rounder from Europe and said all kinds of nice things about him–brought him in the next day even–and I’ve never heard a word about him since.

    According to the NBA draft guide spiral notebook they hand out here, Pekovic is 6-11, 265, was 22 in January, played for a team in Serbia last year and under strengths it is said: "Possesses great strength and is skilled and efficient in the low block. Passes well out of double teams." Hits better than 3/4 of his free throws. Who knows?

    9:49: Chalmers at #34. So, a big man and a point guard in the second round. And for the second year in a row, the Wolves get the MVP of the Final Four. I’m sure that S+P and the rest of you guys who watch college hoops can give us more on Chalmers than I can. From his bio material it looks like he gets a lot of steals. For a 6-1 guy it looks like he rebounds well too. And he hit the big shot that forced overtime in the championship game against Memphis.

    As I said many times, I’ll speak with a little more authority when I can actually watch these guys play. But, whether you draft for need or not, getting a legit big and a legit point guard makes me happier than otherwise.

    10:16: For those who don’t usually read the comments, scroll down and catch S+P’s link to John Hollinger, who says if Pekovic wasn’t tied up to a big European contract he would have taken him third overall. yes, he said third overall. And Stan Van Gundy says it was a no brainer to take Pekovic as the first pick of the second round because second-rounders aren’t on the books and this kid will play for big bucks in Europe for a couple of years.

    Anyway, it is now 10:18 and the media is openly grumbling that McHale hasn’t come down yet. Maybe he’s working the phones trading the players we were just raving about?

    10:32: McHale still isn’t down and there is rustling now that something big may be in the works. Maybe something with Miami and bigger than two second-rounders for Chalmers. The daily guys are going crazy because their deadlines are looming for tomorrow and nobody is down here. This may all be too many people needing to file and too much time on their hands. In fact another guy is now in the room saying he talked to somebody from Miami and they are still solid on Beasley. But there was a brief flurry here that Beasley may still be in play. Now there is speculation that maybe something else is going on. In any case, the daily media guys are getting screwed and they’re not happy. Not that it matters to anyone who isn’t in the room with them–or reads the morning paper instead of blogs.

    10:46: Chalmers to Miami for two second rounders and cash. Sounds horrible. If Chalmers was indeed first round material, and this team really does need a quality point guard, WTF? And don’t overlook the "cash" in the deal either. Okay, with this blockbuster out of the way, maybe McHale will be down before midnight.

    10:50: Fellow blogger Stephen Litel just told me that, after tonight’s Lynx game, Shaddy McCants is out on the floor as I write this, shooting hoops.

    10:57: Wolves PR guy Mike Cristaldi just came down and said McHale is working on something besides the Chalmers deal. So, take that for what it’s worth–could be big or it could be more second rounders and cash.

    11:23: Mike Cristaldi just came back down and said it will be another hour before McHale comes down. The media guys went crazy and then asked if it was big. Maybe, I don’t know, Cristaldi said. Well, one thing for sure, they wouldn’t dick around like this if it was totally minor. Nothing may come of it but the VP of Personnel never talked to the media the entire night after they had taken the third overall pick in the entire draft. You’ve gotta think something large is at least being seriously discussed.

    But the more I think about it, the less it seems as if Beasley will be involved. Right now it is 12:30 in the morning in Miami, where the team won a ring just two years ago and where the fan base is still putting out big money in sizable numbers. If they go to bed hearing one thing and wake up hearing something else, that a blockbuster trade has been made, Willie Randolph firing style, in the dead of night, they could go apeshit. Will Miami really do som
    ething like that? I doubt it.

    More likely–and I have no inside info folks, I’m just talking out loud–they might be trying to figure out a way to get Pekovic out of his Euro deal and over here in a reasonable amount of time. Because as of now they haven’t done a thing about their huge hole at center. Nada. They got a combo guard and a Euro contractually bound to a team in Greece, and a couple of future second rounders and some cash.

    In any case, I’ve decided to stick around and see what the big news is. A lot of the media are going home. Ah, but the live blogger gets the scoop. Such as it is…

    11:43: Okay, Mayo is being traded to Memphis for Kevin Love! In addition the Grizz are almost totally clearing the useless contracts on the Wolves, taking Marko Jaric, Antoine Walker and Greg Buckner. In addition to Love, the Wolves are getting Mike Miller, Brian Cardinal and Jason Collins. ESPN is reporting it, we don’t have confirmation yet, but that’s got to be the reason we haven’t seen McHale.

    11:52: I’ll post again after McHale comes down. My first take: At least this is a consistent philosophy. McHale is continuing what he was trying to do since losing KG. There are players–Love, Collins and Jefferson down low, Foye and McCants in the backcourt and Miller to stick the J and space the floor and play swingman with Gomes. At first blush, I think I like the deal, provided Jason Collins has something left as a defensive center.

    12:04: Longtime commenter Andy G hates the deal, which gives me pause. but again, my first reaction is positive. First of all, there was speculation that the Wolves were going to trade down from #3 and leverage Mayo for something. Okay, let’s take them away for a minute. Mike Miller is head and shoulders the best of the six players with NBA experience in this deal. The most valuable player the Wolves gave up was Marko Jaric, someone who has been regarded as an expensive bust for the past 2 and a half years. Antoine Walker would be long gone, bought out, if he’d taken less money last year. And Greg Buckner was in street clothes as often as his uniform last season.

    Yeah, the Wolves got at least of those stiffs in Brian Cardinal who has an atrocioius contract. And who knows if Jason Collins has got enough left to give the Wolves a viable defensive center for the times they aren’t playing with Love and Jefferson together on the floor? But bottom line, the deal works out for Minnesota as long as Mayo isn’t a star and Love pans out to be a solid, smart big man who can pry double teams off of Jefferson with Miller. Randy Foye also has to step up and make even a productive, star-like Mayo less damaging.

    Bottom line, the Wolves got bigger, created more space on the floor for Jefferson and got rid of a lot of deadwood on the roster. If Mayo becomes a legit star, and Love is merely solid, it will not be seen as a good trade (unless Foye blossoms and makes Mayo seem redundant here). But in terms of proven commodities, Mike Miller is proven. Jason Collins is a proven defender who can complement Jefferson. The distractions of Marko and Toine are gone.

    1:47: Okay, McHale, Stack and Hoiberg all came down and rather than get too fancy about it I’ll just give you the bullet points.

    –The Memphis deal came together late, near the end of the first round. The teams had talked earlier about Minnesota trading the 3 for the 5 and getting Mike Miller, but nobody was sure where Beasley would land and that made it difficult to pull the trigger. Later when the Grizz took Love the Wolves called back and were told no dice. But then, later in the first round, the Grizz suddenly called back and the deal was back on. "No one was more surprised than we were when they came back," McHale said. He intimated that one of the reasons the deal might have been facilitated was the Grizz wanted to add a couple of things that caused "Glen a little bit of a financial hit this year, which he was willing to do."

    –Not surprisingly, the brass was really happy with the deal. McHale loves Love, called him "the best big man in the draft, in my opinion, and we were also able to get a knock-down shooter." He called Jason Collins a good post defender and Cardinal "a great locker room guy." But Love came in for the strongest praise: "Kevin Love is going to be a tremendous player for years and years." He noted that Love was not only freshman of the year but player of the year in the PAC-10 and referred to him as a "phenomenal rebounder." He acknowledged that neither Love nor Jefferson is a classic 7-footer but–and you fans of grumpy old man K-Mac are going to love this–mentioned how Wes Unseld and Elvin Hayes won a ring as undersized bigs because they "knew how to play."

    –But then Jim Stack jumped in and was more forthright and passionate, and voluble, than I’ve ever heard him. "People have said Kevin Love is not an athlete. I beg to differ," he said, saying that they ran him through a wide battery of tests at the combine and that "across the board, he measured almost identical to Al Horford, who some people think should have been the Rookie of the Year last year instead of Kevin Durant." He cited Love being able to jump 35" and have a wingspan of 9′. Then he said they got a big guy who allows Al Jefferson to play power forward and I didn’t know if he was referring to Love or Jason Collins. He also said the Wolves had three needs heading into the draft, a perimeter shooter, a big guy and another veteran character guy in the locker room, which is how all three of the Wolves front office guys labelled Cardinal. Stack then also said that the deal "sets us up for free agency with our contracts in a couple of years" and that "we are going to be a big free agent player." Whether it was the odd hour of the day–past one in the morning–or the thrill of a last-minute, major, complicated deal, Jim Stack was a different human being than the mum, button down guy I’ve watched the past few years.

    –When it was Hoiberg’s turn, he noted that the Wolves had Mayo and Love very close, "side by side" in their evaluations, but praised Mayo and also called him a "sexy pick" who can ‘spread the floor." But he stated that when you can add a Mike Miller and have the two guys who are so close together be swapped, you do the deal. Somebody asked Hoiberg about his comments to the Wolves draft party, and to reporters, about keeping Mayo, and Hoiberg was happy to be able to clarify that at the time he made those comments it was indeed the status quo–the Wolves didn’t know Memphis would want back intot he picture. Then McHale came back and piled on to Stack’s athleticism argument for Love, saying that he, McHale, was actually "really surprised" with Love’s athleticism and then went into a soliloquy about the "small area quickness" and how important it was to rebounding that apparently some of you have already heard him deliver on KFAN.

    –I asked about the second rounders; specifically how long Pekovic’s contract is and why they decided to dump Chalmers for just a couple of future second rounders and some cash. McHale says Pekovic has a two year deal in Europe but then really wants to come to the States and play here, likening him to former San Antonio pick Tiago Splitter in terms of contract status. He said he saw Pekovic play a couple of times "And he’s just a brute: 6-11, 260, and he just puts the wood on you." He said they got a tremendous amount of calls from other teams wanting to get the 31st pick because second rounders don’t have to fit into a salary slot and Pekovic’s situation makes him an incredibly attractive second rounder when he Euro contract expires. "Anyone in the 31st position would have taken him" he said, but the Wolves were lucky enough to own that pick. He noted that Pekovic plays in the top flight Euro league which he said is "by far better than
    NCAA basketball" in part because there "are a lot of grown men playing." As for Chalmers, he said that after the Pekovic pick and the Memphis deal was being worked, they made the deal with Miami for the two future second rounders and cash. Thus, he said, Miami actually made the pick for the player they wanted–the Wolves had nothing to do with drafting Chalmers.

    –As the wrap up, McHale asked if anything surprised him about the draft. He said he thought Westbrook went a little high, that surprised him but he saw how Westbrook "is just a freakish athlete." He was surprised by how long Chris Douglas-Roberts lasted, "because he can really put the ball in the hole." And he was surprised "at the amount of calls we got on the 31st pick;" how it started early and continued until they actually made the pick, with some clubs even offering a protected first round pick in return.

    Okay, that’s it from here. I am probably going to open up another post and analyze the big Memphis trade, which I think is a net-plus for the Wolves, which apparently is not conventional wisdom among the fan base or many readers, so I want to get it up and get the conversation going. I’ll be back here at Target Center for the 1:30 press conference, which is in about 11 hours.

    Turned out to be a fascinating evening. Not a bad one to live-blog, certainly. Thanks for all those who participated.

  • Day 1 Begins

    After getting settled into the "Swilly Suite" and meeting up with the girls, we all decided that we should check out and meet the other guests at the Hyatt.

    A few lobster rolls, sparkling water—and, yes, white wine—later, it was
    clear that Aspen was not just going to be any old vacation; it was a place in which I felt (for the first time in a long time) completely comfortable — no BS, just a place where I could wear the PJ’s from the outlet (in public), have good food and drinks with people who were (like me) not trying to impress anyone, and most important, learn to "vacation" and trust good friends again.

    The first night was nothing short of amazing: great food, a lot of (inside) Jewish jokes
    on the left bed, and sleep on the right bed.

    Day 1 begins.

  • Wanted: Action Flicks with Swagger

    Wanted comes on like a batshit crazy mash
    up of a dozen other genre movies but manages to stand alone as something
    more by the time it reaches its frenetic and bloody conclusion.

    It’s probably (but only a
    little) curmudgeonly to gripe about the apparently permanent change
    in the visual language in action films in the post John Woo/Matrix era,
    and Wanted displays no shame in borrowing (well, taking wholesale)
    poses and sequences from these and other predecessors. Director Timur Bekmambetov refreshingly stands apart from lesser
    imitators, though, by going for broke from the outset, invoking a jokey,
    sardonic vibe that charges action confidently and unapologetically staged
    in an R-rated universe.

    James
    McAvoy     (last seen
    in Atonement) plays Wesley Gibson, a corporate
    minion suffering the kind of existential ennui that comes standard with
    shackles to a cubicle. In a telling bout of self pity, Wesley
    confirms his insignificance by Googling his name and returning zero results.
    Unknown to Wesley, however, is his status as the lone heir to a world
    class assassin and his latent ability to assume a role in the Fraternity,
    an ancient order of executioners carrying out the will of fate, killing
    few to save many. Angelina Jolie (Fox, a member of the Fraternity)
    and Morgan
    Freeman     (Sloan,
    its leader) soon save Wesley from an attempt on his life and in harrowing
    fashion force him to confront and release his true nature as peerless
    killer.

    Wanted is adapted from
    the best-selling six-issue comics miniseries (now compiled as
    a graphic novel    )
    by popular writer Mark Millar and artist J.G. Jones. Producers were so enthused
    and eager to translate the comic to the screen that they began developing
    the project while Millar and Jones were still completing the series.
    Though not a completely faithful translation (the comic portrays a
    world in which villains conspire to successfully eliminate all
    the world’s superheroes) the film retains many key characters, sequences,
    and elements, and the series’ playful mean streak and dark wit.

    Bekmambetov is known to film
    and horror fans as the director of the Russian blockbuster Night Watch and its sequel Day Watch. Wanted is his first
    English language film, and his sensibility immediately injects a swagger
    that has been missing from recent action fare. Though some of
    the movie’s better set pieces and visual treats are partially betrayed
    in trailers, ads, and other movies from which they are borrowed, inventive and entertaining sequences abound, and the aforementioned
    embrace of adult-oriented mayhem is welcome and long overdue for action
    fans weaned on the stuff that supposedly inspires these types of movies
    in the first place.

    Wanted will be far too
    outlandish and lurid for some (perhaps many), but it crashes into theaters
    mostly self aware and with those traits going for it as much as against
    it.

    Wanted opens in theaters Friday (June
    27)

     

  • Rock the Patio, Ride the Wave

    ART
    Echo Through The Waves

    Is the office of an independent record label and media company a strange place for an art show? Perhaps. But considering the Twin Cities scene seriously thrives on collaboration in art, music, and fashion, and the peeps at 50e are in the position to know what’s up – I’d reckon we’re in for a pleasant surprise. Echo Through The Waves isn’t your momma’s art show, make no mistake. A wide variety of edgy artistès of many mediums and backgrounds join forces tonight. See the sweet and surly paintings of one of my faves, DC Ice, or peruse the photography of 50e’s own uber-talented Nate Maydole as well as work by many others. Search for the perfect accessory from sassy local jewelry designers such as Robyne Robinson, Lonnie Loveness, and Chase Schell while sipping some well-deserved vino (it is almost Friday), enjoying live acoustic music, and hobknobbing with the creative set.

    4pm-7pm, 50 Entertainment, 300 1st Avenue N, Suite 110, Minneapolis, Free


    MUSIC
    Patio Nights Featuring STNNNG and His Mischief

    As Minnesotans, we relish the simple pleasure of a breezy outdoor patio during the few balmy months we’re allowed – and considering the sheer number of fantastic outdoor music, film, and art events going on this season, you’ve definitely got your work cut out for you. One no-brainer, however, is Patio Nights at the Minnesota Museum of American Art. In it’s 5th year, Patio Nights invites some of the most talented and well-known local musicians to rock the MMAA’s gorgeous rooftop courtyard. Add in yummy food, and of course, beer from Great Waters Brewing Company and you’ve got yourself the perfect date night. Tonight’s musical phantasm will include popular local rockers STNNNG and His Mischief, so you’ve really got no excuse, do you?

    7pm, MMAA, 50 West Kellogg Blvd, Downtown St. Paul, $7


    PERFORMANCE
    Queertopia: A Cabaret Celebration of Queer Love

    As part of this coming weekend’s raucous and extensive Pride Weekend festivities, Intermedia Arts hosts Queertopia: A Cabaret Celebration of Queer Love. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume any event with the words "cabaret" and "queer" in it’s title will be nothing short of a roaring extravaganza complete with plenty of sparkles, sass, and (one can only hope) bedazzled codpieces or something of similar mindset. The cabaret runs through Saturday and will feature a slew of enticing local performers including B-Girl Seoul, The Hula Troop Northeast, Empowered Expressions, and many more, plus, a screening of "The Pussy Pirates" a film by prolific local lez Lisa Ganser.

    8pm Thursday and Saturday, 7pm Friday, Intermedia Arts, 2822 Lyndale Ave. S, Uptown, $15


    MUSIC
    Irma Thomas

    The official Soul Queen of New Orleans, Irma Thomas has gracefully matured from the belter who literally 50 years ago (1958) told her romantic rivals, "You Can Have My Husband (But Please Don’t Mess With My Man)," to a caresser who engages the violins and doesn’t shed a shred of dignity on the bittersweet "Another Lonely Heart." Thomas is equally comfortable with soaring blues and gospel gravitas, wry, sexy mama send-ups, and, her stock-in-trade, testimony about the day-to-day triumphs earned and tears dropped. According to the various label and ticket sites, this Zoo gig is the only spot on her concert calendar this summer-don’t be surprised if she pulls something out from her upcoming Simply Grand CD, due in August. The stellar and simpatico opener is James Hunter, who plays retro blue-eyed soul with a passion and panache that seems steeped in the mid-60s but conveys its immediacy the moment it hits your ears. – Britt Robson

    7:30pm, Minnesota Zoo, 13000 Zoo Blvd, Apple Valley, $35

  • Fantasy Gone Wrong

    Generally, "ations" are regarded as good things.
    Propagation, masturbation, fornication, copulation, lubrication – all
    activities mankind finds to be worthy efforts. However words containing this
    benevolent suffix are have recently been besmirched by the smear campaign being
    waged against one of their brethren. And with oil prices rising like Dirk Diggler’s imposing
    lightsaber    , the war against speculation threatens to
    drag some of America’s
    favorite pastimes down with it as casualties of this crusade.

    WCCO’s "Good
    Question" segment     last night focused on the popular theory that speculators
    are responsible in large part for driving up the price of oil for downtrodden
    consumers everywhere. This has become a widely cited theory – its populist
    appeal a draw to many feeling the squeeze of higher gas prices. In essence,
    this theory lays blame for the high prices of oil squarely at the feet of the
    moneyed few – speculators being players in the futures markets who bet that the
    price of oil (or other commodities) will rise by buying up supplies via the
    market and selling them for a profit when the price rises.

     

    A short-term bubble caused by this rampant speculation is,
    of course, a much more appealing theory than a long term price spike fueled by
    basic supply and demand economics. The problem, however, is that most economists
    seem to agree that while speculators could be responsible for a small portion
    of the recent price hikes, but the majority is a strict question of bread and
    butter demand pressuring supplies like never before and tossing some serious
    consumer salad along the way.

    Sadly, the speculator theory, in addition to dragging fellow "ations" through the effluent sewage and
    bile of global economics, is serving as a rallying cry for those advocating for
    new
    offshore oil drilling and opening other public lands     to oil companies. The
    argument being that oil companies, being as fast acting as a Viagra and Red
    Bull cocktail, will start traipsing through newly opened oil fields like
    woodland fairies hell-bent on drinking morning dew off wildflowers and devouring the souls of
    newborn kittens – quickly tapping oil reserves and thus driving prices down by
    making speculation less lucrative due to increased supply.

    However, that assumption only holds water if speculators are
    truly the wealthy despots enthusiastically buggering the gas-consuming public
    every time they turn around to unscrew the gas cap. And while they are indeed
    taking swims in Scrooge McDuck style money bins, they’re merely responding to
    market forces – not creating them. And while statistical evidence of this is
    often hard to come by, there are indicators.

    One such indicator is how long the price run up has been
    occurring. Oil prices have gone from $26/barrel to the current $137/barrel in
    the last seven years. And while correlation does not necessarily equal
    causation, reduced oil output from Iraq due to Middle Eastern adventurism
    combined with a nearly 100 percent increase in demand for oil from developing
    countries like China over the last seven years would seem to be a likely cause,
    especially when global output, unlike the Cousin It looking mother
    fuckers     in My Morning Jacket, just ain’t getting any higher. And since it
    takes a hell of a lot of resources to create a capitalist economy out of General Tso’s chicken and corrupt
    Communist party officials, the demand will only rise.

    In fact, according to the Energy
    Information Administration    , worldwide energy use is going to continue
    rising – 50 percent overall in the next 25 years, 85 percent in developing
    countries. What’s worse, these estimates are based on numbers a year old, prior
    to the recent run up in prices. Plus, with developments like India’s Tata
    Motors’ $2,000
    Nano    , more people than ever will have access to cars – spiking demand even higher.
    And not sexy Top Gun style
    spiking    . We’re talking Minneapolis Park & Recreation volleyball, with
    beer bellies flying as former college athletes attempt to relive their once
    glorious past.

    In addition to pure demand, our own low interest rates,
    designed to stimulate economic activity and spur the economy to avoid
    recession, are a source of high gas prices. Low interest rates depress the
    value of the dollar, making it more expensive to buy oil on global markets.

    The government is, unsurprisingly, talking about stepping in
    to regulate commodities markets. However, the proposed regulations would likely
    do little to push fuel prices down – especially since oil speculation is a
    global market. And they could even have a depressing effect on the U.S. economy as
    a source of tax dollars dries up.

    There is a bright side, however. Transit use in metropolitan
    areas is up 15 percent. People are suddenly conscious of how much they drive
    and this crisis is starting to make people look again at living in the cities
    where they work, fueling a minor resurgence in home sales in some urban areas.
    This reduced demand will, eventually, depress prices, but hoping that
    speculators are the root cause of this decidedly painful gas bubble is akin to
    believing Olivia
    Munn     will fall for your geeky charm and closet full of Han Solo costumes.
    But then, if you’ve convinced yourself of that, you’re probably used to
    disappointment    . And luckily, all those other "ation" words haven’t bee ruined for you.
    Except maybe masturbation.

  • Pavane for a Dead Sculptor

    The melancholy in the eyes of the gorilla imprisoned in the zoo, I think it is real. He is confounded by the loss of his freedom. He sorrows at what his captors have evolved into.

    Minneapolis has two life-size bronze sculptures of gorillas by the late British artist Angus Fairhurst, who this past March committed suicide by hanging himself from a tree in a forest in England at the age of 41. One of them is in the courtyard of the Chambers Hotel at Ninth and Hennepin; the other is sited on the green outside the west window of the Walker Art Center.

    Fairhurst had a gift for imparting a brusque and powerful animality to clay, pressing life into it with his palms and his thumbs, building the figures in a way that I think gorillas themselves might do it if only they could. The bronzes are empathic. They make me feel what it is to be a gorilla, thickly stupid in some ways, surprisingly intelligent in others–not that different, in other words, from the condition of being a man. Now they are husks, all that’s left of Fairhurst’s struggle to inhabit his own body, a beast that in the end he could only subdue by choosing to kill it. No one can presume to say why.

     

    The gorilla in the Chambers courtyard is cordoned off and hemmed in by chairs and tables on all four sides. Fairhurst titled it, "A Couple of Differences Between Thinking and Feeling." The figure stands gorilla-style, the weight of its massive torso supported on the knuckles of its right hand as it gazes down upon its left arm, which–it is a shock to see–lies severed on the ground before him, lopped off like the limb of a tree. Looking at the gorilla’s face, it’s impossible to plumb what he’s thinking or feeling as he contemplates this part of himself that is no longer part of himself: Unspeakable pain? Detachment? Perplexity? Incomprehension? It’s hard to say, and, unable to cross the threshold of speech, he can’t tell us either. He isn’t even a faithful replication of a gorilla. The way the clay was worked, kneaded and pressed, formed into lumps and concavities, the surface doesn’t look anything like the hirsute coat of a gorilla. It’s closer to something like scar tissue or wads of putty, melted wax or clumps of tar. Every passage in the sculpting of it is evidence of an impassioned and playful hand, but the piece, in tragic retrospect, speaks of a man amputated from his own hope of connecting, the discounted instrument of his grasp lying inert on the ground.

    Crouched low on the lawn outside the Walker is Fairhurst’s other gorilla, this one rapt by the reflection of its face in a pool. His monumental hands grip the edges of the simulated pool of mirror-polished stainless steel as if to prevent the image from escaping his grasp. Every vector of his body says that his eyes cannot drink enough of what they see. Avid for the image, his body is tensed and alert-parallel to the ground but hovering over it like its lover, his whole force straining towards the object of its fascination, one leg advancing as though thinking of entering the pool.

    What does he see? His head is so close to the mirror that unless you get down on the grass to look up into his face you cannot see his eyes, only their reflection in the mirror facing the sky. The gorilla in the Chambers courtyard has no eyes to speak of; just sockets, almost as though he is too dim to have a pair to see out of. But this one, titled "The Birth of Consistency," sees, and is transfixed-it could be with horror, it could be he’s seeing the birth of Comedy, we cannot be sure. He is in the throes of the revelation of what is to follow, the next stage, the stage that will lead to us. Narcissus puts his lips to the pool; the image trembles, dissolves. Before he left this life, Angus Fairhurst cast in bronze all his longing to be one with it. It is a pity he is dead; until he stared into one too long, he was a mirror to the world.