Summer Pleasures

According to Sir Winston Churchill, the Royal Navy has only three traditions, “Rum, Sodomy, and the Lash.” It’s certainly true that until only a few years ago every enlisted man in Her Britannic Majesty’s fleet had the right to a substantial tot of rum every day at midday. It was powerful stuff. The custom went … Read more

Herbal Essence

The first time I heard Martha Stewart say “herbs” with a pronounced H, I had to laugh thinking the übermom had a glitch in her matrix. Then I learned there was a whole H / no-H debate, and you had to pick your side with the courage of your convictions. Those who Proudly Pronounce feel … Read more

Westering Home

A lot of godly folk seem to forget that the Lord’s first miracle was turning water into wine. But it was a minister from the Western Isles of Scotland who pointed out that this was hardly remarkable. In his part of the world, he opined, the Good Lord turns water into whiskey every day. Of … Read more

If wine be the crime, then hang me

Strong drink has a long association with immorality. There is an engraving of “Gin Lane” in 18th century London by William Hogarth (the artist also responsible for “The Rake’s Progress”) showing a sign: “Drunk for a penny, dead drunk for twopence, clean straw for nothing.” From the same period is “The Beggar’s Opera,” in which … Read more

'Shrooming Through the Ages

Goodness, it’s spring and the woods are infested with mycophagists. The warm sun and the stirring breezes bring out the madness, the mushroom hunters. They’re out there turning dead logs, rustling through the dark and damp places where most bipeds will not tread. They walk for miles, minding neither dirt nor rain, all in hopes … Read more

Ain't She Sweet?

By Oliver Nicholson Things seem to be getting serious. She’s convinced her parents to ask you to dinner and you’re scared stiff. It’s not that the grub will be bad. Her mother has a great reputation as a cook. But how will you ever convince them you’re good enough for their little girl? First impressions … Read more