–Illustration by James Dankert That was horseshit. I’m a superstitious guy, and I should have known better than to drag my ass from the house on Friday the thirteenth. I already had a sick feeling on the drive downtown. The muffler on my Celica was kicking up sparks all the way down Portland, and was … Read more
It’s been a damn fine day here in the Twin Cities. Cold rain and temperatures forty degrees below normal. A perfect day for an indoor baseball game, in other words, or for hunkering down on the couch to watch the Twins playing somewhere better else. No such luck, which means we have an extra twenty-four … Read more
I don’t feel like trying to figure it out, so maybe someone else can tell me: what was the last date the Twins gained a game on the White Sox? It’s been at least nine games, right? A long time, at any rate, considering how well the Twins have been playing. And the encouraging thing … Read more
The Twins are 9-3 in their last twelve games, and have gained exactly nothing on the White Sox. I can’t quite decide whether that should be encouraging or discouraging news for either Minnesota or Chicago. Flip a coin, I guess. I suppose, really, it all depends on whether or not you believe the Sox are … Read more
That if Dougie Baseball was still flashing the leather over at first and saving more runs than most first basemen produce with the bat we’d already be looking at the White Sox in our rearview mirror? Oh, and by the way, Justin Morneau’s slugging percentage (.780) is higher at the moment than Mientkiewicz’s on base-plus-slugging … Read more
–Illustration by James Dankert Last week was a mess all around, and Friday night was the capper. I guess I drank too much of something bad, and things got away from me. I swear, though, that I was determined to get something to Zellar, but my mother called me in the middle of the game … Read more
Turn that frown upside down Twins fans. I could, and should, just leave it that, because I really didn’t get much of a chance to pay attention to today’s game. I needed to roll a rock up a hill, so I had to take a pass on sneaking away to the Dome. I also felt … Read more
It’s amazing how quickly a breaking story can be covered from every conceivable angle. Early yesterday the reaction to Juan Rincon’s suspension was a mixture of shock, incredulity, and outrage. The details in the initial press release were sketchy, at best. It wasn’t clear what exactly Rincon might have ingested to merit the suspension, but … Read more
I just got word that Juan Ricon has been suspended for ten days after testing positive for a banned substance under Major League Baseball’s new drug policy. Scott Baker will be recalled from Rochester to take Rincon’s place on the roster. This makes absolutely no sense to me. Among the possible candidates for steroid use … Read more
After mercifully disappearing for the first nine games of the season that song was back Saturday night. Lee Greenwood, I guess it is. I’ll take the blame (see this if you need any further explanation), because from here on out I’ve decided that I’ll take the blame for everything that goes wrong this year. I … Read more