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  • Another Possible Tattoo: 'Born Lippy'

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    All last night there was never any doubt that this day was going to drag me into the harsh light and try to kick some words out of me, but I once again tried to convince myself that I was somehow made of sterner stuff than the average fellow. I wasn’t about to cough up any words until I was good and ready. I resolved to get right up and put something loud and bracing on the stereo (I eventually decided on Fu Manchu) to drown out the baying of the gray boys who I knew would already be milling out front and lobbing taunts and insults at my house.

    A man can only avoid these confrontations, though, if he’s absolutely unwilling to move, and the instant I took a step out the front door (I was brazen enough to believe I could sneak away for a sandwich) they were on me. I can almost chuckle now as I recall my poor wife standing on the porch in a panic, screaming, “Scramble! Scramble, honey! Run! Improvise!”

    I had no chance, not a chance in the world. Not today. Not Monday. They had me face down in the front lawn in no time at all, and the biggest of the bunch was kneeling in the small of my back while one of his toadies had a fistful of my hair and was yanking my head backwards from the wet grass.

    “Say something!” the big one demanded.

    “Say what?” I asked.

    “Say anything,” he said.

    I clenched my teeth and shook my head. “I have nothing to say.”

    “Say, ‘How can I make this fruit look prettier?’”

    “No,” I said, and even as I heard myself mutter the word I could feel my resolve eroding. Out of the corner of one eye I could see kids on their way back to school pausing to watch this spectacle from the sidewalk in front of my house.

    “Say, ‘I’m so helpless I’m practically stone-aged.’”

    I tried to once again shake my head, but the one goon was now yanking my hair at such an angle that it felt like he might break my neck.

    “Just say it, honey,” my wife said from the porch. “Get it over with.”

    I waited a long moment, breathing heavily, while the biggest of the gray boys increased the pressure on the small of my back.

    “I’m so helpless I’m practically stone-aged,” I finally said.

    That got a reaction out of the bastards, all right. They released me and leapt around my yard bumping chests and exchanging clumsy high-fives before piling back into their black Camaro with the smoked-glass windows. As I attempted to swipe away the mud and grass stains from my pants and jacket they tore off down the block and disappeared around the corner.

    “Those fuckers,” I said.

    My wife came over and patted me on the back. “It’s okay,” she said. “That wasn’t so bad this time. At least they didn’t get you to say, ‘How can I make this fruit look prettier?’”

  • Marksmanship 101 for teachers

    Well, if you didn’t already believe the people who run the National Rifle Association are crazier than a hummingbird on crack, read this from NRA first vice president, Sandra S. Froman.

    It seems that if only the teachers at Red Lake had been totin’ heat themselves, they could have protected their students from Jeff Weise’s rampage. I bet the good folks of Red Lake wish they’d thought of that themselves. Yup, all we need to do to make our school safer is bring in more guns.

    Damn near as funny as Ms. Froman’s pronouncements were those of President Bush, who this morning talked of how committed the federal government was to the people of Red Lake. If you’ve ever been to Red Lake, and I have, you’ll know what an utter crock that is. Of course, maybe W will introduce an amendment to the No Child Left Behind act that would fund body armor for all students. We could use the money that we’re not spending on the body armor for our soldiers in Iraq, perhaps.

    P.S. If you want to read a good series on what life is like for some people on an Indian reservation, look what the Strib did here.

  • Inky Wretches

    A couple of interesting meditations on the newspaper industry today. Generally, we just feel like we want to disagree on principal with such grandiose pronouncements as Michael Malone makes today over at ABC news, namely that “newspapers are dead.” All you need to do to refute such a silly claim is to look over the past fifty years of media history. Both television and radio were supposed to obsolete the printed word, but they didn’t—in fact, they helped build a readership which saw the inherent, qualitative differences in media. Now, according to Malone—a weird holdover from the heady days of the Web’s initial revolutionary zealots—the web will be the final coup de grace.

    We hate to break it to Malone, but he simply doesn’t matter as much as he thinks he does: It is not the readers who will determine the fortunes of newspapers. It is the advertisers. We all know that readers are the third wheel in this relationship, have been for a long time… Recent circulation scandals are not scandals because they reflect badly on Americans reading less. They are a scandal because newspaper executives are lying to advertisers about their rate-bases. The basic paradigm—that advertising in print works—has not changed one iota, and there is a massive support industry designed to convince advertisers and publishers that their endless toil has the result they want to believe it does. (Interesting, innit, how there has been so much trouble transferring that same confidence to the web, where the science and technology of tracking actual readers through the content is so much more advanced.)

    More to the point, as Jack Shafer makes clear in his excellent piece today about the strange maneuvers of Philip Anschutz, the only thing that is really outdated about newspapers today, in a concrete business sense, is the margins in which they continue to operate. Thirty percent is typical at a strong metropolitan daily! Those are numbers anyone in the media buisness, outside of television, would die for.

    We’re not sure we agree with Shafer’s assertion that these healthy margins are due to “harvesting market strength” in the short term— but then we live in a city with one of those exceptional dailies that has actually managed to sustain growth in circulation. The other thing that is exceptional about the Twin Cities is that Kinght-Ridder—the bedraggled bridesmaid here—is everywhere else considered forward-thinking, whereas here the Pi-Press’s website is one of the most shamefully useless sites on the web, which comports well with the generally cadaverous scent of the whole operation down on Cedar Street.

    No, newspapers will stick around just as long as TV, radio, and the web stick around, but they will continue to evolve—some for the better, some for the worse, many for free…. but all somewhat independently of whether the reading (listening, browsing) public thinks there is any value in them.

  • They Shoot Tornadoes, Don't They?

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    In Cuba, when they have tornadoes, they kill them. When they see one coming, they start shooting it with their rifles and shotguns, and the explosions make the tornadoes disappear. When I tell people in America that they shoot tornadoes in Cuba, they don’t believe me. But I believe because I’ve seen it happen; I’ve seen the dark funnel drop out of the sky, then disappear when the men from the farms start shooting it.

    Tony O! The Trials and Triumphs of Tony Oliva, Tony Oliva with Bob Fowler. Hawthorn Books, 1973.

  • Kindertotenlieder

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    The knowledge of evil is an inadequate knowledge.
    Spinoza, Ethics

    But the most important thing is that one can no longer be sure nowadays who is and who is not in a state of temporary insanity.

    Dostoevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

    The Shatterer has come up against

    you.

    Man the ramparts;

    Watch the road.

    The Book of Nahum, 2.1

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    …Something real amongst shadows.

    Socrates, Meno

    …We do not dare to be philosophical.

    William Barrett, Irrational Man

    There is no denying that we fear the end of things because our way of life has brought so many things to an end.

    Wendell Berry, “Discipline and Hope”

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    Is it not against all natural reason that God out of his mere whim deserts men, hardens them, damns them, as if He delighted in sins and in such torments of the wretched for eternity, He who is said to be of such mercy and goodness? This appears iniquitous, cruel, and intolerable in God, by which very many have been offended in all ages. And who would not be? I was myself more than once driven to the very abyss of despair so that I wished I had never been created. Love God? I hated Him!

    Martin Luther, in Roland Bainton’s Here I Stand

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    We fly forgotten as a dream, certainly, leaving the forgetful world behind us to trample and mar and misplace everything we have ever cared for. This is just the way of it, and it is remarkable.

    Marilynne Robinson, Gilead

    …how quickly the burnt-out candles multiply.

    C.P. Cavafy, “Candles”

    We are only dogs chasing cars.

    Joseph Schumpeter

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    Who, then, are the immortals? Those who lived a long time, those who reappear time after time, those who had more life than death, but less time than life.

    Carlos Fuentes, This I Believe

    From too much love of living,

    From hope and fear set free,

    We thank with brief thanksgiving

    Whatever gods may be

    That no life lives forever;

    That dead men rise up never;

    That even the weariest river

    Winds somewhere safe to sea.

    Swinburne, The Garden of Proserpine

    When do we set sail for happiness?

    Baudelaire, Journaux Intimes

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  • Last words on Terri Schiavo

    I’ve been thinking a lot about Terri Schiavo, which, I think, puts me in some pretty good company–that of people who believe life is sacred and we shouldn’t allow it to end without good reason.

    Like the abortion and death penalty debates, poor Terri has become a nexus of American confusion among our nation of laws, our nation under God, and our nation currently being run by the people who only believe in the law or God when it suits their political purpose.

    As for what I think of whether Terri Schiavo should die, I couldn’t put it nearly so well as Harriet McBryde Johnson did on Slate yesterday. If Terri can live, like any profoundly injured or ill person–with care and feeding–she should. What’s being done to let her die is wrong, but it does have a rationale I can understand. It is not murder theologically unless Michael Schiavo believes it to be. He doesn’t. Unlike DeLay, Frist and Bush, he’s not a cynic. And whether Michael Schiavo is right or not, someday he will know when his own time comes.

    What makes the political right’s attempt to keep Terri alive even more vile than her husband’s desire to let her die though is beautifully summed up by this piece by Dahlia Lithwick, also posted on Slate yesterday. She points out the irony of the right’s signature “defense of marriage” at the same time they are willing to put government firmly between a man and his wife. (Lithwick also notes that the money which has paid for Terri’s care came from a malpractice lawsuit of just the sort Congress wants to limit.)

    When it comes down to it, I think I’d rather have someone like Michael Schiavo representing my interests than DeLay, Frist or Bush. I can only hope that that epiphany I spoke of above comes, too, to that unholy trinity. It would be great if it came early in November 2006, but I can wait for St. Peter if I have to.

  • The Rake Magazine Memorial Ballpark

    We had a laugh a few months ago, when there was that little dust-up between the gay fellows over at Powerline and the Star Tribune’s Nick Coleman. They’d all been in a running firefight—liberal this, neo-con that—and while we’ve come to appreciate the deceptively euphonious rhetoric of the full-time bloggers and Rather-slayers, they were far outmatched in wits by Coleman, who is, after all, a professional.

    But that little flap went nookular when the bloggers’ boss at TCF Bank decided to step into this little flea-circus with a sledgehammer. Bill Cooper, an excitable, longtime GOP honcho, pledged that his bank would buy no more advertising with the Star Tribune so long as he was at the controls. (We commented at the time that TCF stockholders and directors were no doubt gratified with Cooper’s decision to make sure the last anyone heard about the company was that its CEO was making such an aggressive personal stance with ~their~ money.)

    Now TCF has ingeniously gone one better—they’ve committed to buy the naming rights to the new stadium at the University of Minnesota for the kingly sum of $35 million. That kind of cabbage would have bought a lot of advertising in the Strib, of course, but we think it’s a brilliant move. Given that the daily—and all dailies like it—have rolled over on this insidious form of commericalizing public information, TCF will get its advertising and brand extension into the fish wrap anyway, without having to give the employers of Nick Coleman one red cent. Take that, you pantywaist, glue-sniffing liberals!

    We note that the words “Target Center” have appeared in the pages of newspapers around the land more than one thousand times in the last month—ninety-seven times in the Strib. The cancelled NHL season didn’t prevent the words “Xcel Energy Center” from being recorded in the Newspaper of the Twin Cities nearly sixty times in the last three weeks.

    This give us a great deal of Adidas-brand pride in the Visa-Mastercard ingenuity of the entrepreneurial spirit, still so manifestly alive and well here in the United States of Halliburton.

  • Greek Chic

    Neal Viemeister, a psychology professor at the University of Minnesota, can’t pinpoint exactly what prompted him to hire the Greek undergrad as a research assistant back in the 1970s. He searched his memory—“Well, John knocked at my door looking for research experience, which impressed me, that an undergraduate would be that motivated and courageous. He was a real nice guy and very bright. He somehow learned to program this ancient IBM 160 computer that was the size of a desk. He was intense, worked very hard. Yeah, he had a nice smile and the long hair, but so did everyone back then. About halfway through the year, he decided to go by his Greek name, Yanni, instead of John.”

    Yanni, that mono-monikered musician/composer superstar whose multi-platinum recordings and videos (Live at the Acropolis is the second best-selling video of all time, you know) spell success in any language, is also the biggest enigma since Ed Sullivan. Can you hum a Yanni song? Can you name a Yanni song? Nope. You can’t even categorize his music, which seems like it should be some kind of standard for success (which award show to attend?). The half of the human race that isn’t out feverishly buying his CDs and wall calendars are collectively scratching their heads about how this guy got so darn popular. Yanni was here in Minnesota from 1972 until the mid 1980s at a budding stage of his life and, what, no one noticed early glimmerings of greatness? Wasn’t he turning heads and knocking people back with his star quality? Wouldn’t you think the other dishwashers at the Campus Club would have noticed Yanni Chryssomallis’s exquisite hair? That’s because he didn’t have that certain something yet. He acquired it in Psych 1001.

    Now that he has wrapped up his winter tour, I feel prepared to offer my theory: Yanni, a naturally gifted musician, uses his undergraduate psychology degree to get into the vast prairies of the Minnesota collective mind. He memorizes the bucolic, nonoffensive terrain, and translates that metaphysical state into music. He synthesizes Minnesota, minus the slush, and makes millions.

    First off, why go into psychology rather than music? Yes, Yanni is self-taught and never took formal lessons because that might have crushed his unique gift. Whatever. Psychology seems like a pretty good tool for getting at the Minnesota psyche. Of course, Auto Tech III is likely, too, but it doesn’t look as good on your résumé. Let’s review what his former teachers remember about Yanni: nice, nice, real nice, nice smile, and hardworking. Notice, not hot or charismatic or artistic or fantastically top-shelf talented or flamboyant. No. Nice.

    Tom Paske, Yanni’s business manager from way back in the eighties hair-band days, says he is probably Yanni’s best friend. I wondered aloud why Yanni has struck pay dirt with electronic music when others haven’t. Many of his bandmates from Chameleon, a second-tier Twin Cities bar band, are still playing, some even in the new-age genre. They haven’t played the Taj Mahal or the Forbidden City. They haven’t been the official composer of the last two Olympic Games. How to account for this divergence of fortunes?

    “No one does what Yanni does, that’s why,” said Paske. “No one creates the sound he does. No one puts world, classical, and rock elements together. He’s very very smart, very creative and absolutely unique.”

    A couple weeks ago, the Xcel Center was packed for Yanni’s adoptive-hometown concert. The fans, averaging white and about forty-five years old, were orderly but rapt. A starship captain at the bridge, Yanni pushed buttons with much feeling. He flipped his mane, conducting the first-class crew as they took the audience on a breathless flight of classical violin, a rocking harp blast (you heard me), and a funky digideroo trip down under, to name just a few of his musical wanderings. These fans would not be found at the Minnesota Orchestra or the 400 Bar or the Blue Nile, but they’ve been lining up for Yanni for fifteen years. Like the Minnesota State Fair, there’s something for everyone at a Yanni concert.

    Unscientifically, I fished for support for my Yanni-Minnesota theory, but evidence was circumstantial at best. Everyone was having a good time, but that occasionally happens outside Minnesota, too. No one vomited on me, but again maybe this is normal outside of Cheap Trick concerts. A moment of self-assessment revealed that I was enjoying myself and, like discovering a taste for Cheez Whiz, that worried me. I cast around for reasons for this “enjoyment.” A series of small strokes can never be discounted, but I was looking for something more sinister, more insidious. I turned to ask my friend, Barb, if she thought the haunting vocals and tribal rhythms reminded her at all of tater-tot casserole, but her eyes were all glazed over and she was smiling rosy-cheeked and clapping along. She appeared to be brainwashed. That’s all the proof I needed. That Yanni, he’s pretty darn good.—Sarah Barker

  • Inclined to Please

    It’s doubtful that people will camp out in order to be the first inside the newly expanded Walker Art Center, but who knows? They did at Ikea in Bloomington last year; surely some flapdoodle ought to accompany the unveiling of a shimmering contemporary art center designed by avant-garde Swiss architects. However, to members of the media who toured the building while it was under construction, it’s been made clear that art comes first, not architecture—in the galleries, that is. These spaces are straightforward, unassuming adaptations of the elegant white boxes Edward Larrabee Barnes designed for the Walker’s 1971 building. This is entirely appropriate, given how the “Bilbao effect” has curdled, in some quarters, into the “Bilbao backlash,” whereby some people accuse globally prominent “starchitects” (such as Frank Gehry, builder of Bilbao) of designing museums that try to upstage the art they shelter.

    Still, you don’t hire a firm like Herzog and de Meuron if you merely want your new building to ape another building. (Some grumble, for instance, about Cesar Pelli’s Minneapolis Public Library, which they feel is disappointingly similar—on the outside, anyway—to the building it has replaced.) So while the architects played it straight in the galleries, the rest of the expansion is a funhouse of odd and surprising angles, in stark contrast to the Barnes building’s severe rectangular forms.

    A critical angle comes into play in the expansion’s main corridor along Hennepin Avenue. In this space, which connects the lobby and museum shop to a stairway and a gallery in the Barnes building, the floor is raked at the same angle as the public sidewalk outside, along Hennepin Avenue as it climbs Lowry Hill. The slope is remarkable, but not difficult to navigate, since the function of the space is to channel people from one place to another. In architectural terms, this is known as the “program,” and the “theme” of the program, as it were, is transparency. In layman’s terms: The architects want people outside to look inside and see what other people are doing—thus the double-paned glass curtain wall. The program for this corridor also includes lounging, as the space is called the Hennepin Lounge, not the Hennepin Corridor. (The prominence of lounges in the expansion brings to mind loitering people wearing aggressively interesting footwear and/or eyewear and/or Macintosh products, making very little eye contact.) To facilitate lounging, custom benches were designed with legs that are longer on one end to accommodate the angled floor. While some people will no doubt prefer the bucolic views from the garden lounge on the west side of the building, others will find it restful, in an airport-y kind of way, to sit in the Hennepin Lounge and watch vehicles jockeying to get over to the I-94 onramp. And if one foot touches the tilted floor while the other just barely dangles, consider it a subtle yet singular architectural experience.

    So where the original Walker is all restraint and rectitude, the expansion aims for surprise—and a peculiarly simple type of sumptuousness. Consider the materials. The emblematic object of the Barnes building would have to be a purplish-brown brick, but several visual motifs run through Herzog and de Meuron’s expansion. Most prominent is its aluminum mesh skin (on a less fancy building this would be called “siding”), while inside are bursts of curvy, baroque latticework; gleaming Venetian plaster walls; and gorgeous chandeliers made from molten glass. Incidentally, most of these materials have been cleverly translated into exclusive merchandise for the museum shop.

    Speaking of the museum shop, it, too, was supposed to have a tilted floor like that in the Hennepin Lounge—continuing that angled parallelism, if you will, with the city sidewalk outdoors. But that presented problems for the retail space, whose location in the expansion is as visible as the former was hidden. Stationary benches with mismatched legs are one thing, but merchandise tables, which shopkeepers move around regularly, would be a royal pain if they had angled bases. Then, too, there is the experience of the shopper to consider. Standing on the placidly horizontal floor in the museum shop, one can look out at the determined dynamism of the tilted floor in the Hennepin Lounge—and at the floor of the adjacent lobby, which is not so much a tilted plane as one that seems to fall away just a bit. To stand on such a floor can be slightly disorienting, an effect that is not conducive to comfort, which is crucial in encouraging consumerism. So design ideals did not fully give way to the duller demands of commerce; the architects merely raised the bottom line, so to speak. When you visit the museum shop, you will no doubt notice that in this space, it’s the ceiling that tilts.—Julie Caniglia

  • Coming Around to Conformity

    At a recent screening of The Assassination of Richard Nixon, the director, Niels Mueller, showed up for a question and answer session. It quickly became apparent that his questioners didn’t care so much about the film’s story as what it was like to work with Sean Penn and how Mueller got his movie made. How did he get the money? How did he get the script to Penn? How did he get producers on board? Mueller was modest, and almost sheepish, because as it turned out, the story of making his film was a remarkably trouble-free Hollywood fantasy, except that it was true.

    A few days later, an essay about the current state—or rather, statistics—of moviemaking backed up the unlikelihood of Mueller’s experience. Writing in the New York Times, Adam Leipzig, who runs National Geographic Feature Films, contended that while making a movie has never been easier, getting it seen is harder than ever. A lengthy string of dispiriting numbers served as evidence: submissions to the Sundance Film Festival have nearly doubled from six years ago, from 1,325 to 2,613; the number of scripts registered at the Writers Guild of America rose sixty percent between 2001 and 2004, to fifty-five thousand; Guild-approved agencies that will look at unsolicited screenplays receive about four hundred each month, to which they respond positively to just one. “The numbers may be against you,” Leipzig concluded, “but hang in there. Because in Hollywood, the dream of being number one keeps the whole town going—even if it happens only 0.3 percent of the time.”

    The dream, of course, isn’t limited to Hollywood. Last year, an NEA study reported that “the number of people doing creative writing increased by thirty percent, from eleven million in 1982 to more than fourteen million in 2002”; at the same time there was an overall decline in literary reading. What’s more, “the number of people who reported having taken a creative writing class or lesson decreased by 2.2 million during the same time period.” How many of these unknown writers hope to get a novel published, only to find that the “slush pile” of unsolicited manuscripts at publishing houses is obsolete, as most editors simply don’t look at anything that doesn’t come to them from an agent? As for getting an agent—well, see the statistics above for screenwriters. The plight of Miles Raymond in the film Sideways was all too real; no wonder everybody’s blogging.

    Aspiring writers may be eschewing instruction, but enrollment at visual art schools is up. The number of undergraduate students at the University of Minnesota has risen from 297 in 1997 to 478 today. At Carleton College, students must compete to get into studio art classes—for spring term, some 260 students applied for 180 slots. As for pop music, the fact that American Idol is now a cultural fixture should say enough. What about alt rock? Forget stats; as my genuinely bewildered mother once asked, “Why is everybody in a band these days?”

    “Self-expression in fashion always triumphs, regardless of circumstance.” So proclaimed a vodka advertisement in a recent edition of the JC Report, a fashion e-letter. “Suffer for your art, embrace the sacrifices—do anything to do what you love,” it continued. “There’s an unwavering compulsion to get your message out there … . Unleash your creative spirit. Unleash the Raspberri.” (Unwavering compulsion … Unleash the Raspberri … Is this some unwitting statement about Tourette’s syndrome? Are the copywriters making fun of us?)

    However overwrought, the advertisement merely reinforces beliefs that have dominated American culture for the last half-century. Creativity is good. Conformity is bad. We’re all unique! And it’s not just our right, it’s practically our sacred duty to freely express our uniqueness, whether it’s through a tattoo or painting or blogging or making digital movies. We take this as an article of faith, so much so that it is hard for a modern person even to conceive of a world where only a few truly gifted individuals are allowed to “express themselves” creatively. For example, poets in ancient Rome had to earn patronage from public officials by dedicating their poems to them—and only a handful could do so. They were the pop stars of their time, but there was no Roman Idol, let alone open-mike nights or poetry slams, where amateurs could hope to get discovered. When it comes to maximizing the number of people with the time, money, and desire to act on creative impulses, to express ourselves as individuals, there’s no time like the present.

    Two recent books by Canadians consider the implications of unfettered self-expression, extreme individualism—and their ties to rampant consumerism. In Nation of Rebels: Why Counterculture Became Consumer Culture, Joseph Heath and Andrew Potter take down the myth of fighting “the system” by daring to be different. While they build a solid, if somewhat academic, argument focused around sociopolitical theories, Hal Niedzviecki, in Hello, I’m Special: How Individuality Became the New Conformity, explores the myriad ways in which we dare, with increasing urgency, to be different. Niedzviecki assays the backyard amateur wrestling scene, the making of a new boy band by Lou Pearlman (of Backstreet Boys fame), a guy who’s fighting to have his own local TV station, fan fiction, the mainstreaming of tattoos, and much, much more.

    Both books, in fact, are bursting with research, referring to a long tradition of social criticism, from Thorstein Veblen and Gustave Le Bon in the late nineteenth century to William H. Whyte, Guy Debord, Georg Simmel, and Michel Foucault, to contemporary critics like Todd Gitlin, Juliet Schor, and Thomas Frank. (Heath and Potter even track the origins of counterculture back to eighteenth-century Romanticism.)

    It is the mode of recent consumerism to celebrate individuality as a matter of style (a development covered recently in Virginia Postrel’s The Substance of Style: How the Rise of Aesthetic Value is Remaking Commerce, Culture, and Consciousness); thus, we consume in a way that is supposed to underscore our individuality, and attack conformity. But that assumption is simply wrong, say Heath and Potter. To the contrary, they argue, the rebellion against concepts like “mass society” and “conformity” is one of the more powerful engines driving consumer capitalism (Postrel would agree). “Consumerism is not an ideology,” they write. “It’s not something that people get tricked into. Consumerism is something that we actively do to one another.” (Or maybe even inflict on each other—consider products like SUVs.) Because consumerism is both competitive and interactive, it’s essentially both a way to attract attention and to distinguish ourselves. But that hardly constitutes a rebellion.

    While Nation of Rebels focuses on the interplay between the individual and the market economy, Hello, I’m Special goes down other paths to document rebellion-as-individualism. Niedzviecki documents the myriad ways in which we are encouraged to nurture our individuality and express ourselves. Parents insist that their children can “be anything they want to be” and urge them to “follow their dreams”; they’re backed up by well-meaning teachers and a host of profit-seeking industries and entrepreneurs—like the founder of the Hard Rock Academy, a “boot camp where would-be performers can see where they stand.”

    “Who will discourage the youngsters of today from pursuing their pop dream?” asks Niedzviecki, a question that seems more than a little cantankerous, especially since, as he writes elsewhere, “Millions of otherwise ‘normal’ citizens of the Western world harbor the notion that fame of some sort awaits them.” These dreams of being special are an extension of the theory, which has been around at least since Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World, that we potentially restive moderns must be placated by entertainments; now, however, we do no
    t merely wish to consume them, we wish to be part of the system that creates them. And if you apply the supply-and-demand equation, it follows that we should require more “creatives” (to borrow a term from advertising) and supporters-of-creatives of all kinds. Event promoters. Makeup artists. Audio book narrators. People who write subtitles for Bollywood films. But then the NEA’s findings—more people writing; fewer reading—give rise to the question of whether we are approaching the point where there are more producers of culture than there are consumers of it.

    Niedzviecki’s man-on-the-street research, plus his personal revelations and self-deprecation, make Hello, I’m Special the more readable book, but ultimately the author is rather defeatist. He has no proposals for mitigating extreme individualism, and so, falls back on the idea of fighting “the system” with various countercultural means. Heath and Potter are more prosaic, and while their cultural criticism can become tedious, they do ultimately offer some striking observations, as well as hope. With every reiteration of his theme—that our attempts at expressing individuality are in fact conformist—Niedzviecki seems unconsciously to be making a case that awareness of the problem will lead at least partway to a solution. Meanwhile, Heath and Potter point out that these attempts at individuality drive the very consumer capitalism that sophisticated liberals and aesthetes (hyper-individualists, to say the least) often say they despise.

    So where does that leave us? Might there be a kind of conformity that could usher in a new counter-consumerist era? Maybe it’s not so much conformity as a certain type of modesty, or reserve, a sacrificing of our desire to be noticed. After all, if we believe in ourselves, as we’re so often encouraged to do, isn’t that enough? Heath and Potter point to the characters on Star Trek as part of a political allegory in which “citizens of the Federation have found a way of being individuals without being rebels, of wearing uniforms without succumbing to a deadening existential uniformity.”

    They also suggest a way to foster counter-consumerism: legislative action. (Remember, they’re from the country that has tried to pass laws requiring a minimum amount of Canadian cultural content in the arts.) It’s not as sexy as a WTO riot, but Heath and Potter believe that a simple change in the tax code, ending the fully tax-deductible status of advertising expenditures, would create a “devastating blow” to advertising. In other words, they propose strangling or smothering advertising, rather than trying to subvert it with “culture jamming” that inevitably goes ignored or unseen—or worse, simply becomes part of the overall spectacle (as protests have, says Niedzviecki, in another example of individualism gone awry).

    Some things, of course, come down to individual action. Heath and Potter prescribe “clearing away some of the consumerist clutter and introducing a bit more uniformity into our lives. Instead of ‘daring to be different,’ perhaps we should dare to be the same.”

    We might also look at the flip side of their notion about the two-way nature of consumerism, as “something that we actively do to each other.” Think of it in terms of a pair of squabbling siblings. Heath and Potter say that consumerism will continue, like the bickering of two children, unless there’s some incentive to stop. But what happens when no one is on the receiving end—no one to reinforce our consumerism, to admire our individualism, to up the ante and make us respond in kind? What if we did as our mothers counseled: Ignore the irritating sibling so that he’ll go away? With decreased numbers of people putting themselves on the receiving end of self-expression, it would force creative types to be that much more persistent about success. A form of Darwinism might eventually replace the supply-and-demand equation with respect to arts and entertainment, whittling down the number creatives-per-capita. Fewer people might go desperately seeking fame in Hollywood, or on websites like iwannabefamous.com.

    In fact, the experience of one Gary Brolsma could be a portent. Brolsma had briefly become famous, thanks to an Internet video showing him chair-dancing to a Romanian pop song. The New York Times published a story about him on its front page a few weeks ago—not to dwell on his fame, but rather his abrupt rejection of it. Disenchanted, the nineteen-year-old had stopped taking media calls and canceled major television appearances. His friends and his family couldn’t imagine why. Perhaps Brolsma simply discovered that some things are best kept to oneself, and perhaps the Times was trying to spread the message?

    Consider the advantages in cutting back on our self-expression. We’d have time and energy to do more. Plant a garden. Play with the kids. Teach someone to read. Read more ourselves. Maybe the word “hobbyist” would even become chic. With less expression in our lives, we could turn inward and hone our perception of what’s going on around us. We’d find connections and commonalities with each other, at the same time short-circuiting consumerism. After all, relentless capitalism can’t sustain itself on inner peace.