As Tom Kelly Would Say, Oh, My: Twin Bill In Chi-Town

My, my.

Mercy.

Yowza.

Goodness gracious.

Good heavens.

For heaven’s sake.

For the love of Pete.

Holy cow.

Holy shit.

59 hits, 22 walks, 11 home runs, six errors, and 46 runs, in two freaking games. An American League contest in which the pitcher for the winning team was actually forced to bat –two times.

All I can say is butter my ass and call it a biscuit. If that don’t just beat all.

I don’t know this team. I. Just. Do. Not. Know. Them.

It.

Whatever.

Seriously, that business boggled my mind.

And if a doubleheader performance like that doesn’t get Ozzie Guillen fired, I don’t know what it’s going to take. I mean, Jesus, how do you leave one of your best pitchers in there –a guy who entered the game with a 3.15 ERA– to get the shit pounded out of him like that? Isn’t that why you have guys like David Aardsma and Nick Masset on your roster?

Finally, who wants to bet the Twins turn around and get shutout tomorrow?