If you don't like this blog then you are a BOOBIE

^{photo by Jessica Hegland,}

Hair by Jon Richards. Make up by Leilani Baker, Make up Artist Goddess.
Wardrobe from Melly’s Closet of Phases: Dress-BADGLEY MISCHKA-purchased at the DAYTON’S 2day warehouse sale during my lunch break at KSTP TV. Price for me to know and you not! Shoes: don’t have a clue because someone stole them from me when I took them off to dance at some random club downtown.

I am so sick and tired of people making fun of people they assume do not have an appreciation or sophistication for the FINER THINGS IN LIFE. I have had the great PRIVILEGE of traveling to places most people only dream of, eating food that makes my mouth feel like it’s having a big old party in there, and best of all, seeing beautiful ARTWORK every day. So what is my problem?

I am sorting through a lot of "things" right now that are valuable and deciding what I should do with them. I am in no hurry to sell anything, but I am in a hurry to make sure the right people are given some of the great privilege that I have been given all of my life so I can put the same smile on their faces that they have put on mine.

So when I recently met with "X" and expressed my frustration and confusion over starting this process, I was given that "look" of disgust when I was talking to her about ART. Apparently, being the unsophisticated person that I am, I was not using proper "Art Speak" while I was talking.

Who made this random person the "Chief of Art Speak"? I will tell you who did. SHE did. And since I am now "Chief of the things that I have been blessed with," that gives me the right to say that she can go take a flying leap, and I hope that her perfect hair looks the same wet as when it’s dry. I am guessing it probably looks more along the lines of something a bunch of rats would enjoy calling home.

Insult after insult, I sat there and took it like a trooper, and then I got in my car (paid for with my own money) and went home and looked around my house, appreciating even more the beautiful ART that my husband and I have.

As to the kind of ART that we enjoy looking at every day, it consists mostly of My Mother’s artistic genius.

The so-called valuable pieces that Mrs. "Snotty Butt" would love to impress her Clients with will be given to people in my life who DESERVE the choice as to whether or not they want to hang the work on their walls or sell it on E-Bay.

I found it beyond comprehension that I was being frowned on because I was not B.S.ing my way with small talk and essentially saying what comes natural to me. In other words, I was being Melinda Jacobs, the person who wakes up the same way every day with hair that is starting to gray from wasting MY VALUABLE time on phony baloneys.

So, where the heck am I going with this?

Remember, blogging — thank god — is still one of the few ways that we can ALL express the person who we really are without a certain code of conduct. That is why I love it. In fact, I am passionate about it! It’s ART to ME.

What is beautiful to you, what wakes you up in the morning and gets your heart pumping, your energy going… that feeling of Passion is truly your choice. And if someone tries to diminish that or hurt you, just because they think they know more than you or are better than you, here is my suggestion:

Next time you get "the look" for being authentic and being yourself, look that person straight in the eye and say "Boobies." It has done a lot for me in being able to weed out the phonies and reel in some treasures of pure gold.

Enjoy the picture of this statue that I have sitting in my office. That is a piece of ART that may have dollar signs on it, but to me it’s not only a metaphor of my life but a priceless one in so many ways.

By the way, it’s for sale.
(I am kidding.)

—Melinda Jacobs