The Rake Magazine

Author: Cristina Córdova

  • Home for the Holidays

    Well, for starters, be sure to peruse our January issue. We had ourselves some fun with this one, so … enjoy.

    We’ve also had some teriffic online exclusives lately. If you haven’t already done so, be sure to check out John Ervin’s "Higher Than Fi" and Ann Bauer’s "Scientology: The Local Source" and "Keeping the Faith" — actually, Ann has had some fabulous blog posts as well, so don’t miss out on those. And if you haven’t checked out our new guest blog, Just Passing Through, be sure to do so. Rich Goldsmith is wrapping up this week, and we’ll have some great urban images from Taylor Carik next week.

    Now… assuming you’re not going to spend all weekend reading The Rake website…

    FESTIVAL
    Drumming and Dancing and Fire, Oh My!

    What better excuse is there to play with fire then to celebrate the winter solstice on the darkest day of the year? Join the Cedar Cultural Center’s celebration of this Pagan holiday with a drumming, dancing, fiery jam. Come at 6:30 p.m. and learn how to juggle with Mr. Fun from Mystik Toyz. The fire dancing begins at 8 p.m. — complete with batons, poi, devil sticks fire juggling, and fire fingers, fans and wand numbers. Many local drumming guests will be led by world percussionist Robin "Adnan" Anders and his group Boiled to Lead. If you’ve been in the Twin Cities any time during the past twenty years, you’ll have heard of them. —Kate McDonald

    Friday at 6:30 p.m. Cedar Cultural Center, 416 Cedar Ave. S. Minneapolis; 612-338-2674; $10, children free.

    DANCE
    Crying Babies All the Way! This Ain’t No Regular Ballet!

    Crying babies and restless toddlers are welcome and wanted at a special performance of the James Sewell Company’s ballet Amahl and the Night Visitors.
    This child-friendly performance on Saturday morning will be short, and
    the lights will remain on. Dubbed “First Chance Dance,” the experience
    is meant for the youngest of ballet enthusiasts and includes a pre-show
    in the lobby with live model dioramas that will show scenes of
    multi-culture giving traditions. —Kate McDonald

    Saturday at 11 a.m., The O’Shaughnessy at the College of St. Catherine, 2004 Randolph Ave., St. Paul; 651-690-6700; $10.


    MUSIC
    Heiruspecs for Homegrown Hip-Hop

    Gotta love the homegrown hip-hop. It’s hard to believe that Heiruspecs has been around long enough for a ten-year anniversary show and subsequent album release concert, but this group has been a favorite on the local scene since their early beginnings at Central High School, in St. Paul. Their show on Saturday will also feature performance by Power Struggle & The Show Is The Rainbow. —Kate McDonald

    Saturday at 5 p.m., The Turf Club, 1601 University Ave., St. Paul; 651-647-0486; $10. —Kate McDonald

    Matthew Santos Comes Home

    I get a lot of emails and PR kits for upcoming events now. That’s no surprise. Still, I try to pick the most promising events, regardless of how hard I have to dig for them. Sometimes, though.. sometimes… a PR person leaves an impression. I’m not saying this show isn’t promising — quite the opposite, in fact — but I just have to send some kudos out to this incredible woman whose enthusiasm and obvious commitment to the band became contagious. So, let’s welcome home another Minneapolis native. Matthew Santos is playing this weekend at the Fine Line, and this is no small potatoes. While Santos is best known for his collaborations with other well-known (and even Grammy-nominated) musicians, this weekend’s gig will be a solo performance, so we can fully appreciate the real deal. (See the full line-up here.)

    9 p.m., Fine Line Music Cafe, 318 1st Ave N, Minneapolis, 612-338-8100; $7.

    COMEDY
    The Comics Come Crawlin’ Home

    Comics who have abandoned Minnesota for the more humorous-centric states of our nation are coming home for the holidays, and Bryant Lake Bowl is reaping the benefits this Sunday. Their annual show will feature Casey Feigh, Matthew Sullivan, Lizzy Cooperman, Maggie Faris, Andy Ritchie, Johnny Pemberton and Hugh Moore — proving that they remember their Minnesota-nice roots enough to put on a hometown show even after they have hit the big time.

    Sunday at 7 & 9:30 p.m., Bryant Lake Bowl, 810 W. Lake St., Minneapolis; 612-825-8949; $20.

  • We Like Ourselves So Much We’ll Have Seconds!

    Ah, the all-American hot dish—when you think about it, it’s a surprisingly spot-on analogue to the American people. Both contain three primary ingredients: meat, starch, and some sort of binding agent. Both have protective exteriors, yet their innards are tender and rife with all manner of improbable juxtapositions and mysteries. And, just like people, hot dishes come in all shapes and sizes. Some are for breakfast, some for supper. Some contain unusual ingredients, like pimientos, and some don’t. Virtually all of them, however, can be categorized as quintessentially Midwestern exotica—sort of the culinary equivalent of the Fargo accent. Riddle us this, then, fellow Americans: If you were a hot dish, which concoction would best capture your personality and tastes?

    How do you generally greet loved ones?
    Handshake (1 point)
    Nod of the head (2 points)
    Bisou, bisou (3 points)
    Smothering embrace (4 points)

    Another cold weekend is on tap. How do you spend your Saturday night?
    Go for supper at the VFW (1 point)
    With a six-pack of Old Mil and pay-per-view wrestling (2 points)
    Paging through Finnegan’s Wake and sipping brandy (3 points)
    Drinking herbal tea and scrapbooking (4 points)

    Someone gives you an unusual gift. What do you exclaim upon opening the package?
    “Well, that’s different.” (1 point)
    “What the flyin’ fudge is it?” (2 points)
    “Omigod, did you get this at Bibelot?” (3 points)
    “I LOVE IT!” (4 points)

    Now total up your points and find the corresponding hot dish below.

     

     
    Meat Loaf and Potato Casserole
    (3 to 4 points): You’re a stoic Midwesterner with a decent disposition—until you’re asked to eat your vegetables. This peas- and carrots-free dish features all your favorites: beef, potatoes, eggs, milk, and cracker crumbs. No Funyuns in this bad boy! Ketchup is optional but highly recommended.

     

     
    Chicken A La King
    (5 to 7 points): This traditional dish covers the basics—broth (thank God for bouillon cubes!), chicken, mushrooms (canned), rice (instant), and pimientos (out of the jar)—but it’s all gussied up with a name so preposterous that it could be ironic, which it isn’t. And, you know, pimientos have a way of commanding more respect than they truly deserve—just like you, come to think of it.

     

     
    Cassoulet
    (8 to 10 points): There’s nothing too ambitious in this baked dish of sausage, kidney beans, tomatoes, onions, and carrots. Except, that is, for the fancy name, which pretty much means “hot dish” in French. For your part, while you might put on a few airs, at heart you’re really a no-nonsense, salt-of-the-earth type.

     

     
    Tamale Pie
    (11 to 12 points): This fiery recipe, while encouraging improvisation, calls for ground beef, tomatoes, peppers, cornmeal, and, if you’re feeling extra daring, pepper jack! If you really want to go to cheeky extremes, top it off with Fritos and Cheez Whiz. You’re whimsical and highly creative, with a passion for Southwestern cooking to boot.

     

  • The Princess and the Whoopee Spot

    MUSIC
    Morrison’s Down in the Hallow

    Precious time is slipping away for a chance to see classic rock icon Van Morrison
    perform. On the heels of the release of his greatest hits album he is
    back in the cities for one night only to play a show at Northrop
    Auditorium. —Kate McDonald

    7:30 p.m., Northrop Auditorium, 84 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis; 612-624-2345; $86-$211.

    MUSIC
    A Whoopee Spot Where the Gin Is Cold but the Piano Is Hot

    If the Van Morrison prices are a little too hard on your pocket, and Northrop is just a little too bright, we have an even groovier option for you tonight. Although
    the days of the mobster speakeasy inside a cave have ended, swing
    dancing to the jazz hits of the ’20s is still in full gear at the
    Wabasha Street Caves with the sweet retro-jazz-singer
    stylings of Christine Rosholt. Slick your hair, and wear your buckle shoes… and all that jazz. And come down to the cave tonight for a gin and a song or two. —Kate McDonald

    7 p.m., Wabasha Street Caves, 215 Wabasha St. S., St. Paul; 651-224-1191; $7.

     

    THEATER & PERORMANCE
    Support the Arts and Diana Princess of Whales Memorial Fund

    Take America’s obsession with Princess Diana, mix in some Mother Teresa action, and you’ve got yourself a fool-proof recipe for a tearjerker. Local theater company Urban Samurai has cooked this one up in their current production, The Diana Story — and they’ve managed to keep it smart. The play explores the unlikely friendship between the two powerful women as they work on the same cause to eliminate land minds. Your support will do some good, too, for one dollar of each ticket will be donated to the Diana Princess of Wales Memorial Fund. —Kate McDonald

    7:30 p.m., The Lowry Labs, 350 St. Peter St., St Paul; $15.

    SHOPPING
    First-ever Men’s Shopping Event at the Guthrie

    While they’re marketing it for men — as if only women enjoy the theater — no one is excluded from this first-ever Guthrie shopping event. Still have some last-minute gifts to pick up? Avoid the mall terror, and do your shopping in luxury — gifts first, happy hour after. That’s my kind of shopping! Choose from four special gift packages: The Jane Eyre Gift Package ($80, a $160 value) includes two show tickets, a poster, a T-shirt, and a CD with all of the original music from the show. The Dinner and a Show Gift Package ($150, a $218 value) includes a memorable prix fixe dinner for two at the award-winning Cue restaurant, followed by a pair of Guthrie tickets to the show of their choice. The Ultimate Season Ticket Package ($110, a $240 value) contains 4 ticket vouchers that can be given to one person or split amount several recipients. And the Guthrie Classes Gift Packages include either five ($65, an $80 value) or 10 classes ($105, a $155 value). Stop in during event hours and enjoy free gift wrapping, happy hour specials at Cue, and an eclectic mix of unique gift ideas.

    5 – 8 p.m. (Sunday from 3 to 6 p.m.), Guthrie Theater, 818 S. 2nd St., Minneapolis; 612-377-2224; $65-$155.

  • Deborah Stein’s Playlist

    It might seem strange that Deborah Stein sees more rock shows than she does plays, but it does much to explain the genesis of the Minneapolis playwright’s own new work, God Save Gertrude. A theatrical rock concert in the style of Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Stein’s play also manages to riff on one of the stage’s most familiar tales, Hamlet. Never mind the overexposed prince and his poor, dear Ophelia; this time it’s Queen Gertrude going under the metaphorical knife. She’s a punk rocker now—replete with her own all-girl backup band, the Shortcuts, and a wardrobe of asymmetrical spiffs by local clothing designer Laura Fulk. Asked what kinds of tunes informed such a spectacle, Stein—whose list here is weighted toward live tracks—noted that her taste tends toward artists who can “tear out their heart and give it to us as a glorious, noisy gift.” Just like her Gertrude.

    1. “Tomorrow,” Patti Smith
    This is an outtake at the end of the last track of Land, a collection of greatest hits and B-sides. I think it’s from a New Year’s Eve show; she’s exhausted, her voice is shot, everyone is drunk. “Now I’m gonna sing a little song for my mother,” she says before launching into “Tomorrow” from Annie. Yes, that Annie.

    2. “Success,” Iggy Pop and David Bowie.
    They’re basically just taking the piss out of each other, making themselves laugh.

    3. “Art Star,” Yeah Yeah Yeahs
    Karen O puts on a sick live show, and this track (from the self-titled EP) exemplifies the experience. You can practically hear her sticking the mic in her mouth as she roars on the chorus.

    4. “The Man That Got Away,” Judy Garland
    Judy opens herself up raw for the audience, letting us see every crack and fissure.

    5. “Jersey Girl,” Bruce Springsteen
    This 1981 live recording is a real heartbreaker. You can hear the kids in the audience [at the Meadowlands Arena in New Jersey] recognize themselves in this Tom Waits cover. They go nuts when Bruce hits the chorus.

    6. “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis,” Tom Waits
    I get chills every time I listen to this one. It’s basically a mind-fuck, where he gets you to sympathize with the narrator and then, in the last verse, yanks the rug out. I wish I could write a play that pulled off this trick!

    7. Most recent mind-blowing live show: Ted Leo and the Pharmacists
    For the sake of choosing one song, I’ll go with “Ballad of the Sin Eater”—that build of “you didn’t know they could hate you, now did you?” sounds like it could go on forever, which is how it feels to see Leo live. There’s a certain excitement generated by both the best live music and the best theater—something unexpected or virtuosic, happening in real time in front of you.

    8. Most recent song on “repeat”: “Oxford Comma,” Vampire Weekend
    So catchy I almost can’t stand it. But I also can’t stop myself from starting the song over before it’s even finished.

    9. Favorite local band of the week: The Shortcuts!
    All-girl, adorable, and fierce. They’re playing in my show.

    10. Best recent use of music in film: “Sonata for a Good Man” by Gabriel Yared, in The Lives of Others
    As it is played during a crucial moment in the story, one character quotes Lenin on Beethoven: “If I keep listening to it I won’t be able to finish the revolution.”

    God Saves Gertrude runs January 25–February 10 at the Playwrights’ Center, 2301 E. Franklin Ave., Minneapolis. For more information, visit www.workhauscollective.org. For tickets, call 612-332-7481, ext. 20.

  • This Magazine, Martyred

    The Hart family (Brooke and Sean, along with sons Rio and Kai) of Minneapolis stumbled into an unusual situation while visiting Tanzania: A meeting with members of the Hadzabe, a nomadic hunter-gatherer tribe situated in the Yaeda Valley, was followed by a barbed exchange of sorts. The Hadzabes’s arrows won out against The Rake, Brooke Hart reported. “They aren’t literate, and so didn’t show much interest in our magazine,” she wrote. “But the Hadzabe were kind enough to take us hunting … They showed us how they made their arrows, and then taught us how to shoot. We set up a target and thought, What better way to show off The Rake than to use it for target practice!”

    The Hart family, in Tanzania
    Red Handed

  • What word do you think should be added to the dictionary?

    Editor Julie Caniglia Hingie
    Senior Editor Brad Zellar Garfong
    Assistant Editor Christy DeSmith Noneya
    Online Editor Cristina Córdova The Gooch (see Jackass the Movie)
    Art Director Evangeline Johnson Ickers
    Production Manager Lisa Pahl Obsane
    Interim Production Savior Ryan Tungseth Booch

    Contributors
    Ann Bauer Spinky
    Jeremy Iggers Freating
    Colleen Kruse Chill-axing
    Stephanie March Shyah (as in “shyah right!”)
    Oliver Nicholson A tisser (one of those annoying folk whose headphones leak nasty music on public transport)
    Britt Robson Tangtussle
    Peter Schilling, Jr. Potrzebie

    Copy Editor Katherine Lewis Gullible
    Proofreader Judy Arginteanu Elwyn Tinklenberg (to lightly dance around on your tippy-tippy-toes)

    Interns
    Danielle Cabot I’ve had enough of this car-a-mel b.s.
    Christopher Hontos Totes (abbrev. for totally)
    Kate McDonald Twerking (an intimate form of dancing)
    Tricia Towey Trill (true and real, down to earth, cool)

    Publisher Tom Bartel Schlumpfpop (which is the sound the last bit of Florida will make when it sinks under the sea)
    Associate Publisher Kristin Henning Fashionée
    Controller Cindi Barthel Yathink?
    Circulation Manager Joe Kvam Woot!

    Sales and Marketing Group
    Kela Caldwell Fantabulous
    A.J. Kiefer Ridonkulous
    Elton Langland Liberalollapalooza (an election landslide for progressives)
    Valerie Rigsbee Oi!
    Lisa Van Asten @%*#!!

    Sales Coordinator Mary Olson Weaksauce
    Online Coordinator Jennifer Havrish Tall-double-nonfat-nofoam-hazelnut-latte
    Systems Admin/Network Guru Kristopher Wilson Craptastic

  • I Like Candy

  • So Nice To Be Naughty

    MUSIC
    Bustin’ Beats from Belfast

    In preparation for the real Van the Man show tomorrow night, jam to the tunes of one of his most popular tribute bands The Belfast Cowboys. They’ll be playing all the Van Morrison greats this evening — for a fraction of his concert prices. Whether or not they’ll actually play anything off his new album is highly debatable, but let’s face it — we’re all suckers for "Moondance" and "Brown Eyed Girl" anyhow. —Kate McDonald

    8 p.m., First Avenue, 701 1st Ave. N., Minneapolis; 612-332-1775; $6-$8.

    THEATER
    Matthew Ashford and Other Favorite Things

    Apparently, someone took the expression "break a leg" a little too seriously. But even a broken leg is not enough to stop Maria — the legendary Maria — you know the one. The show much go on, and the hills are still alive with the Sound of Music, now playing at the Ordway. Come sing along to the well known tunes of one of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s most popular musicals. Although this show does not feature the incomparable musical stylings of Julie Andrews, it does cast Days of Our Lives soap opera star Matthew Ashford as Captain von Trapp to make up for it. —Kate McDonald

    8 p.m., Ordway Center, 345 Washington St., St. Paul; 651-224-4222; $45-$75.

    PERFORMANCE
    Naughty Nutcrackers Like Beyonce

    The classic Nutcracker might seem like a perfectly harmless childhood fairytale: snowflakes and sugar plum fairies, parties, presents and trees. But let’s face it — bon bons, toy soldiers, cherubs, and giant phalli are all a bit on the campy side, no? Toss in a few Beyonce tunes (don’t forget the dancing wooden doll), and you’ve got a seriously naughty Nutcracker. Leave it to the Ballet of the Dolls! Their Nutcracker?! (not so) Suite features a dancing Barbie and Ken, and classic Bing Crosby show tunes that will leave you wondering… why be nice when you can be so naughty? —Kate McDonald

    8 p.m., The Ritz, 345 13th Ave. N.E., Minneapolis; 612-436-1129; $15.

  • FREE: Composers on Green Prozac

    LECTURE
    Learn How to "Green the Ghetto"

    With her motto “Green the Ghetto,” environmental justice activist Majora Carter has
    been working to eradicate America’s urban public housing problems in
    environmentally friendly ways. Carter will be the guest speaker at
    today’s 6th annual event Changing the Face of Housing in Minnesota, at
    St. Catherine. Come down to O’Shaughnessy and learn how we can improve this
    major national problem in an eco-conscious way. —Kate McDonald

    9 a.m., The O’Shaughnessy at the College of St. Catherine, 2004 W. Randolph Ave., St. Paul; 651-690-6700; free.

    MUSIC
    Not as Deep as R. Kelly

    Although I like the slant rhyme in the new alternative band Prozac Rat’s name, what really sold me on the band was the description of their sound on their myspace page. It was there where they boldly proclaimed their sound similar to R. Kelly‘s "Trapped In The Closet," without all the depth. For me, as well as for any good American, it really feels implausible to imagine the stylings of one Mr. R. Kelly minus any substance, and I firmly believe that one would have to hear it for themselves in order to believe it possible. You have a chance tonight at Prozac Rat’s free performance at the Uptown Bar. The event will also feature the musical beats of KITCAR and Mankato band the Common Era Cast-Offs. —Kate McDonald

    9 p.m., Uptown Bar, 3018 Hennepin Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-823-4719; free.

    American Composers Get the Zeitgeists to Perform for Free

    For coming on thirty years, the Zeitgeists have been spreading their "passion and integrity" around town. See them tonight, as part of the American Composers Forum. As always, they’ll make their percussion, piano, and woodwinds sings out in support of community-based performance programs and local composers, which is what tonight’s event is
    all about. —Kate McDonald

    7 p.m., Studio Z, 275 E. 4th St., Suite 100, St. Paul; 651-755-1600; free.

  • Reading in the Bath

    Hello to all at the Rake!

    We are just back from holiday in Budapest and wanted to tell you what a great job you do with this rag! So packed with articles and stories of quality it not only kept me reading at the Szechenyi baths but for much
    of the long plane ride also!

    Photo of Deborah Bushinski, shot by husband Ken Bushinski, having a relaxing soak and good read at the Szechenyi Baths in Budapest. The baths were a perfect way to relax prior to the evening opera a performance of Madame Butterfly at the Budapest Opera House on December 7th, 2007.

    Happy Holidays!

    Deborah Bushinski, Minnetonka
    Red Handed