Category: Blog Post

  • Chez mon amie

    Now, I could humor you all with fake Secrets… Or I could just come clean and tell you what I’m really up to weekend. Meet me there, if you’d like.

    I’m going to that cool-sounding Days and Nights show at the Grain Belt Office Building tonight.

    I’m going running tomorrow morning–probably something like nine miles since I am now officially in-training for the Chicago Marathon. (Oi! Why am I doing this–this being ruining–to my summer?!) Then I’ll likely swing by the big textile garage sale at the Minnesota Textile Center, since I have resolved to start sewing again. I’ve also had this hankering to buy notions, although I’ll have to practice restraint in this area. I’ve decided to start honing in on the minimalist look.

    Saturday night: I’m going to see The Internationalist: A Foreign Play at the Red Eye, and I’ll be filling in for Mr. Papatola once again. So that makes two dark “experimental” works in just one weekend, which is fine by me since I have been yawn-yawn-yawning over all the explaining that’s been happening on the local stage. Oh, and if you must know exactly the definition of “experimental theater,” go ahead and bother yourself with this ridiculous thing.

    I hope to skip the family Easter function come Sunday. My brother and sister happen to be feuding, and as the neutral party in it all, I’m tempted to feign benevolence in skipping the torturous affair all together. (I’ll call it a “boycott.”) What I really want to be doing is drinking Bloody Marys on the back porch at my best friend Andrea’s place, and then moving into her kitchen, where we’ll content ourselves by microwaving Marshmallow Peeps–probably a much better way to commemorate the Second Coming, if you ask me. But there’s a good chance that my mother, preying upon my Catholic guilt, will make me go to my sister’s anyway. And there will be no Bloody Marys in sight. Just a whole lotta Lambrusco and boxed Zinfandel. Happy Easter anyway.

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  • Spotting the G

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    Got it? Good.

    Thrust as a concept is covered frequently on the internet. Car guys struggle to define the automotive equivalent—or that sock in the lower back that occurs under hard acceleration.

    There are many modern day muscle car that deliver this g-force experience. Yet if it’s thrust you seek, it’s not how fast you go, but how you go fast. This means, technically speaking, that you are looking for torque instead of raw horsepower.

    I won’t explain difference between torque and horsepower here. More horsepower almost always means more speed. More horsepower does not directly translate into more thrust, which is why you’ll never see “stump pulling” and horsepower appear in the same sentence. For earth-moving pull (with what feels like a push) you need torque.

    Thirty years ago, at the height of the first muscle car craze, buying torque was simple. You bought a muscle car and went for the biggest block engine you could find. Monstrous muscle car engines generated maximum torque and for brutal g-forces off the line, there will probably never be nothing like a 454, 455 or 426 Hemi.

    But what the heck. These cars and engines had some issues. There were inherently inefficient, not much fun over 4000 RPM, and were fairly nose heavy, which dampens the sensation of speed.

    Today, surprisngly, you have more options than you did thirty years ago. Once you are willing to face a few realities, you’ll end up with a lot more car than anything you could get back then.

    The first reality is that engines today are much smaller. They also tend to be multi-valve, aluminum block overhead cam designs. In most cases, achieving maximum horsepower from these engines requires either supercharging or turbocharging—which both tend to pull rather than push you forward.

    The second reality (related closely to the first) is that carmakers no longer build push-rod engines (outside of GM.). For some reason push-rod engines do a better job of generating low-end torque. They are, however, more thirsty and tend to lose power over 4500 RPMs. This is the main reason that carmakers have abandoned them.

    (All but GM, that is. And here GM has stuck with two engines that continue to defy the laws of physics, or the 3800 V6 and the 350 V8.)

    The third reality is that cars are getting heavier again, due to really egregious electronics. This is especially nasty, but not limited to, German cars. Unlike Mercedes and most Audis though, BMW continues to insist upon normally aspirated engines which delivers a more natural throttle response (i.e. you push down the accelerator and you move).

    The final reality is that you may need to wait one more nanosecond off the line today to achieve the g-force acceleration you are looking for unless you want to go straight to the track (which is the subject for another blog). The accelerative rush you get at slightly higher RPMS fortunately can be just as brutal as anything from the 60s—and often more terrifying (German Cars and centrifugal superchargers are especially adept at high-end acceleration).

    I have assembled a fairly lengthy list of cars to make the job of spotting the g easy. It is currently passing censorship and being vetted by local car dealers to assure that the cars will be available for you to drive. I have on hand–twenty five cars in three different price ranges.

    The good news is that 80 percent are under 35k–well under. Some will even save you gas (comparatively speaking).

  • Las Mariposas

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    If you were to google-stalk me, which I’m sure you weren’t, but just indulge me here for a moment, and pretend, if you will, that the small matter of my incessant self-googling doesn’t exist. Now. Depending upon which search engine you were to use (note here how “google,” as a verb, is in danger of becoming a generic; you know, like “rollerblading”), you might stumble upon a certain Amazon.com customer review I wrote, in about 1998, for Julia Alvarez’s In The Time of the Butterflies. These things are embarrassing, and in this case the review comes replete with misspellings–my, that’s charming! But the more important thing is that I described Butterflies as a “very important book.” And that’s charm squared, if you ask me. I was a late-bloomer.

    This is a book I have since bought for blood-relatives and old chums in need of gassing up on some “girl power.” But sadly, I’m pretty sure none of them ever picked up the thing. I’m sure glad I did though, because I remember admiring the Mirabelle sisters and their varying paths to political resistance and feminism. This latter virtue was more important to me then, as I had not yet experienced life under a repressive regime. (Remember: Bill Clinton was president, and as a later-bloomer, I can hardly be expected to remember the administrations of Reagan and Bush Sr. Sheesh!)

    This, too, was my final tangle with that whole “multiple perspective” trick–you know, the same thing Barbara Kingslover used in The Poisonwood Bible and countless other authors have used for their popular books–although other examples don’t immediately pop to mind. It’s a crafty trick. Sure I’ll use it myself when I write my great novel one day. (Another note: late-bloomer + ADHD. Sucks for me, yo.) Nevertheless, the whole “multiple voice” schtick strikes me now as being rather non-committal, sorta like a theatrical revue or a faux-hawk. But I’m not above non-committal.

    I haven’t read Alvarez’s other books, including this newest one, Saving The World–which has great feminist potential. But because I have such fond memories of Butterflies, I hereby crown Alvarez’s Talking Volumes debut as Secret of the Day. There.

  • Fancy a Festival?

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    What do you feel like doing today?

    If I was deeply and importantly bored for the rest of April and had a glass elevator that could take me anywhere at any moment, these would be appropriate diversions:

    The World Gourmet Summit in Singapore April 10-28
    Forget the exotic locale and international chef sightings, I’d go for The Macallan vertical tasting alone. The class details note that dress should be Smart Casual, as if we Macallan drinkers could be anything but.

    Country Cajun Crawfish Festival in Biloxi, MS April 20-23
    We’re talking 20,000 pounds of hot, spicy crawfish and The Charlie Daniels Band. That’s quite an afternoon. Fork over $10 to get into the judging area for the Super Boil Crawfish Cook-Off and help determine who gets braggin’ rights.

    Stockton Asparagus Festival in Stockton, CA April 21-23
    Everyone says they’re going to visit Asparagus Alley to pick up some recipe ideas, but what they’re really checking out is the World Deep-Fried Asparagus Eating Competition. How can you miss 105-pound Korean Sonya Thomas who can put down 5.7 pounds of the stuff in ten minutes? I’m assuming the Porta-Potties are situated a good distance from the festival grounds.

    Taste of Chinatown in New York City April 22
    They open at 1pm and close at 6pm. That gives us five hours to hit every one of the over fifty restaurants, tea houses, bakeries, and shops that are offering $1-$2 tasting plates. That’s roughly one sample every six minutes. It’s the New York marathon, my style.

    Vidalia Onion Festival in Vidalia, GA April 26-30
    No other onion deserves a festival, that’s for sure. I’d be snarfing onion rings all day long. It has the usual cook-offs and Miss Onion pageants, but I might camp out at the Boy Scout’s Vidalia dutch oven demonstration.

    Vermont Maple Festival in St. Albans, VT April 28-30
    I’m grabbing a stack of pancakes and heading to the Fiddlers’ Variety Show. Because when can you ever get enough fiddlin’ and pancakes.

    Show Me Gourd Festival in Sedalia, MO April 29-30
    I’m not exactly sure if they actually eat gourds at this festival, but they do make hats and quilts from them. So I have that going for me.

    Shad Fest in Lambertville, NJ April 29-30
    Stonyfield Farms is a Shad Fest supporter, might we expect a shad flavored yoghurt? I’d go simply to hear Susan McLellan Plaisted of Heart to Hearth Cookery give a lecture. To food geeks like me, she’s Aerosmith.

  • Living On A Thin Line

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    The hostile colonization is now almost complete, my skull reduced to one more cluttered victim of American conquest and imperialism.

    I close my eyes and I still see giant petroleum and fast food logos, neon beer signs, beautiful celebrities. I hear voices that should not be familiar, the voices of complete strangers that someone has made it their business to convince me I know, intimately.

    Not someone: An immense network of someones.

    I hear television jingles and snippets of pop songs I would otherwise be prepared to swear I have never heard. I find myself desiring (in place of my true, unattainable desires) products of one sort or another.

    All of my dreams are now the Busby Berkeley productions of giant sydicates and corporations. Ideally, if the doctors ultimately have their way, the way I feel will not be the way I actually feel, but the way I have been made to feel. Even my subconscious has been plastered with decals for various corporations, exactly –or not quite exactly– like the jumpsuits of Nascar drivers.

    Every thought is like a link to the webpage of some pirate or entrepreneur. This, that, and the next thing —every last thing— is brought to me by who? By whom? The purveyors, the procurers, the fucking delivery men.

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  • Tings And Times: A Few Random Observations From The Home Opener

    This seems modestly interesting to me:

    Last night’s starting lineup included five players (Castillo, White, Morneau, Batista, and Castro) that were not in the lineup for last year’s home opener against Chicago. The 2004 lineup on opening day had six guys who are no longer even with the team (Rivas, Mientkiewicz, Koskie, Jones, LeCroy, and Guzman).

    In 2003 that number was seven, in 2002 it was eight (with Torii Hunter the lone carryover), and all nine of the 2001 opening day starters are no longer with the team.

    Patrick Reusse’s column today
    pretty much nails the feeling in the clubhouse and around the batting cage. So far, at any rate, this is the quietest Twins team in years.

    Still, it was a good ballgame, and demonstrated the sort of team this version of the Twins could be, or at least the sort of ball it needs to play to succeed: A hitting and baserunning clinic from Joe Mauer (who really does have a chance to be even better than advertised, which is, of course, saying something), stellar defense (most notably from new second baseman Luis Castillo), a shaky, then solid, workmanlike start from veteran inning-eater Brad Radke, and power when it came in most handy.

    That last business is certainly the thing that’s been missing the last couple years, and the thing you’d most like to be able to depend on from the Twins this season. As Earl Weaver always understood, a three-run homer can work wonders for a baseball team, particularly a baseball team trying to dig its way out of a 4-0 hole.

    I also thought this bit of information from the Twins media relations folks was interesting: Who do you think has thrown out the first pitch on opening day more times than any other person?

    Think hard, and I’ll give you a little hint: Nobody else is even close.

    I’ll also tell you that Rudy Perpich threw out the first pitch of the season three times. Rod Carew and Harmon Killebrew have each done it twice, as has Clem Haskins. Hal Greenwood shared the duties in 1973.

    Give up?

    Former Governor Wendell Anderson tossed out the first pitch for six straight seasons, from 1971 through 1976.

    Finally, I didn’t even notice: Did they trot out Lee Greenwood for the seventh-inning stretch last night?

  • The Runaway Train crashes into my muffin tops

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    The only thing I can possibly imagine doing tonight is going to the Soul Asylum concert at the Fine Line–but of course, I will not be going. I’ve already noted how little I like standing in place for hours on end. And I do tend to dance at these things. I just haven’t been moved to do so by any one alternative rock band as of late, that’s all.

    Where be my Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain CD when I need it?! Range Life was a pretty groovin’ tune, if I do say so myself. Anyone care to pipe in with their favorite danceable indie song? Is there a specific Soul Asylum tune? The closest thing to dancing that Soul Asylum has ever inspired, at least in and about my apartment, was some flitting about to the tune of Someone to Shove. But that wasn’t so much dancing as it was human metronome activity, if you ask me. In any case, I’m so glad my snobbish ex-boyfriend left behind his Grave Dancer’s Union disc, accusing it of being some such Soul Asylum sell-out. He had no more use for it, he said–basically the same thing he was then saying about me. He was a real jerk, that guy! (An aspiring, but failed, musician if you’ll believe it!) And if you must know, no, he did not dance. Just banged his head a lot.

    Don’t trust anyone who doesn’t dance. That’s my mantra now that I’m older, wiser, and subsisting as I do on a diet of public radio and Louis Armstrong re-releases.

    Another reason why I won’t be attending tonight’s rock show is that my cultish running club will be engaged in its regularly-scheduled Wednesday night activity: working the legs and then flexing the biceps, so to speak. But given the strong current of grups, ripsters, and all other manner of fat-phobic Gen Xers, I’m sure I could talk ’em into having a little Soul Asylum with their Amstel Lights.

  • Hope For A Darkened Theater

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    When I arrived at the Varsity Theater for last night’s “Don’t Monkey with the Oak Street” meeting, it was a balmy night, ripe for an outdoor game of baseball, an ice cream cone, or an assault on my neglected lawn. As I crossed 4th street I thought, God knows why I go to these things, to hope and worry and spend another night tossing and turning and praying that things work out. But I do–go to these things that is–and I did. And, when it comes down to it, I knew I had to be there if I wanted my favorite haunt to survive.

    The Oak Street Cinema is closed for now. According to volunteer Barry Kryshka, who has worked with the cinema for over eleven years and had been there until just recently, the theater manager had quit, as had a pair of projectionists. “Who knows who’s left,” he wondered, and I wondered, too. The Oak Street has not had an extended calendar in weeks, and has eschewed its old menu of classics for second run films like Crash and Match Point. In the right hands, the Oak Street wouldn’t lack for help–last night’s show packed the Varsity, with literally hundreds of concerned moviegoers milling about, signing pledges for money, quaffing Guinness and feasting on the free artichoke dip and baguette slices. There was the old crowd in the center of the room, the regulars I see at every show, replete with their old Oak Street shirts wrinkled beneath a pair of suspenders, each guy with a briefcase and some film bio, trying to shout the others down about which movie still was being projected on the screen up front. Barry had spent a good deal of time on the internet, gathering shots from movies that had played at the Oak Street, from Gun Crazy to The Godfather, Paths of Glory to Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, and “that still from some Kong film from Japan–Baby Kong, Son of Kong, I don’t remember. Look at him tearing into that toy boat! It never showed, but it was too cool to ignore.” Barry’s favorite movie at the Oak Street: “The Taking of Pelham One, Two, Three. I love New York City cop dramas.”

    I settled down with my beer and watched and listened: unlike the last meeting, back in January, this one seemed infinitely more hopeful. At the former meeting, the whole desperate situation took members by surprise, and no one knew what to say except to shout their displeasure. Last night there was an actual proposal to read, the situation was well organized with a table of information, eats, etc. People were nervous but chatty, hoping for the best.

    The proposal, simply put, states that the Oak Street’s mission is to “keep the history of cinema alive by projecting films in a theatrical context, and to help educate new generations to the value of classic cinema experienced communally in a neighborhood movie theater”. It voices everyone’s concern over the fact that this mission is being ignored, at the lack of repertory films, and the suggestion that the theater’s being shown to developers (though I’ve heard from a board member that this was done to secure a loan). The gist of the situation: let Bob Cowgill run the thing, with his own money if need be, until the place gets back on its feet.

    In my mind, this isn’t such a bad idea. The board has been silent on what they plan to do with the place, leaving that January meeting as the last piece of real dialogue. When Cowgill retired from the Oak Street awhile back, he had bought the building, whittled its mortgage down to next to nothing, and left over two hundred grand in the bank. He’s definitely got a track record of success. That, coupled with the board’s nearly six months of near silence (Hook was fired in October, and for most of us the news of the debt wasn’t understood until January, and now, in April, there’s still no plan). If the board is so interested in the upcoming film festival–which is not an ignoble concern–why not give the Oak Street back to the people who made it the finest repertory theater in the Midwest?

    At 7:45, Bob climbed onstage, did a little hop by way of acknowledging the applause, and stated, briefly, this proposal. He then offered to give the mike over to anyone else following the movie, An Eastern Westerner, a Harold Lloyd short with accompaniment from the fabulous Rich Dworsky. At this, Al Milgrom, standing in the back, barked something and vanished.

    In spite of being just over twenty minutes, the movie seemed to take forever. It was funny, the music was great, but you can’t concentrate on your funny bone with so much tension in the room. There’s not much story in An Eastern Westerner, just Harold Lloyd getting shipped west by his family, to a town that’s run by a bully and his Klansmen pals. Hijinks ensue when Lloyd tries to save a young woman from the masher. And then it was over.

    Bob climbed back up the podium, acknowledged Mr. Dworsky’s piano playing and asked if there was anyone who wanted to come forward. Al? Al Milgrom? Nothing. After a spell, however, board president Stephen Zuckerman walked slowly through the gauntlet and made his way onstage, alone, to face the music. Dressed in a wrinkled blue shirt and orange shorts, he looked more like he was ready for a backyard barbecue than shout-down. Stephen tried to bat off concerns and put a good face on things. As usual there was a crackpot: one guy who went on and on about the fact that he went recently to see a movie at the Bell and it wasn’t showing even though he’d looked it up online and in the paper but they were having some “Dead Poets Society” (his words, baffling to us all) and who is running the website anyway? I felt for Stephen–he also had to contend with a couple of loudmouths who wouldn’t take their turn at the mike, questions from a friendly guy carrying a baby, Bob yelling “give me a chance!”, and then, from volunteer Ian Whitney, this startling news: apparently Ian waited in front of the Oak Street to direct people confused over the venue, when someone rode up on a bike and told Ian that he was “defacing my theater” and called the cops. There was speculation that this was a board member, someone who considered the Oak Street “his”. The cops just drove up, slowed down, and kept going.

    Everyone who took the mike acknowledged that Stephen was brave to come there and take this abuse, and then proceeded to abuse him. Because they’re aching just like I was, wondering what the hell was going on and why we had come to this point.

    Above all, it should have been clear to everyone that we weren’t going to get any solid answers from Stephen. He did his best, but eventually even his patience ran out, and finally said that this whole thing started when Bob quit, so it was really his fault as much as anyone’s. That was clearly the wrong thing to say, and Stephen was met with a volley of boos and shouts. Frustrated, he asked Bob, “How are you going to do it? You have a full time job! How are you going to run the Oak Street and still keep teaching?”

    With that, Bob shrugged and said, “Magic. And a little song and dance.” And then proceeded to wow the audience with a Cole Porter tune with new lyrics he’d penned himself: Don’t Monkey with the Oak Street! He and Stephen even did a two-step while we sang out the chorus.

    Afterward, everyone mingled, trying their level best to elbow in for a thank you or a longer conversation with Bob or Stephen. The regulars at the their table didn’t move, but spoke at length about this movie and that, chowing on dip and grumbling over Bob’s treatment at the hands of the board. Peter Wagenius, the mayor’s aide who tried to keep the last meeting in order, was there, walking around with a concerned look on his face. I noticed a couple of film critics from other papers, and a good two dozen former volunteers, a wonderful community, hugging one another and gesticulating, each one jazzed at the success of the evening. I spoke with the some of these volunteers, who gave me their take of the Oak Street’s downfall, of former director Jamie Hook’s short tenure, the board’s silence, of what they would do, and will do, should this next attempt succeed or fail. They were full of hope, and that gave me some hope. And, like Barry, they shared their favorite Oak Street movie memories: Ian’s, for instance, was Two Lane Blacktop.

    It took me awhile to get through the crowd to Stephen, but when I did he was in great spirits for a guy who’d been soundly booed, shouted at, and poked with sticky questions. He wouldn’t commit to admitting to any plan to help the Oak Street, except that they would get on it as soon as the festival was over. He shrugged when asked if repertory cinema is feasible nowadays. But his favorite movie at the Oak Street was the most recent: Finding Shawn, because, man, “I lived right there, on Haight and Ashbury back then, and that movie brought it all back.” Then, with a touch of wistfulness, he added, “You know, if people want to back rep, we won’t say no. We’re willing to be proven wrong.”

    I spoke with Bob last, as the place was emptying out and we couldn’t even buy a beer anymore (though it was only 9:30). Bob was thrilled and frustrated and as riled up as anyone. As we spoke, it was announced that there were already over $37,000 in pledges, a roaring success, and we both smiled. Bob laid out his frustrations with the board, with watching the theater he’d helped build go from being fully solvent to seriously in debt. “When I retired from the Oak Street, I was told to leave the new director alone, to let him do his thing. Maybe that was a mistake. Because frankly, I was surprised he wasn’t fired sooner, when they discovered he’d missed the grants.” An additional shock was that last year’s festival went off well in spite of this, or so he thought. Then word got out that the MFA lost money on the festival, Hook was fired, and the Oak Street was in serious trouble. In December, Bob met with two members of the board, Tim Grady and Susan Smoluchowski, and he told them that they owed him a chance to save the theater. Bob even offered to put up his own money to ease the debt, and have a series of fundraisers. “I was told that it was ‘too little too late.’ It was even suggested that I was delusional about the mission [to show repertory films]”. But then there seemed to be a change of heart, and there was talk of Bob’s coming on board. That came and went, time passed, and they stopped talking to him. While we spoke, Bob fidgeted and blinked, spoke with tremendous pride at his accomplishments, with righteous anger at the current failures, and, at times, spoke quietly, wondering how much of this was his fault. He included a number of regrets, things he felt he could have done to make the Oak Street more solvent today. And he finally answered Stephen’s primary concern, as to whether or not Bob could fully commit himself. Bob was teaching, full time, when he started Oak Street. “I’d make the time now, as I did then.”

    Throughout the night, I’d asked various volunteers if they’d consider starting over in a new location if their recent attempt failed. A number of them said definitely, and one went so far as to suggest a few new venues. But at this question, Bob sighed heavily and hung his head. “I don’t know. For me, it’s the Oak Street–that place felt right. When we opened it, I knew we had something special.” And he was worried that the perception was that things would be easy if he were back in charge. “I don’t want anyone to think it’s easy. We had volunteers at the start, paid people next to nothing, and you had to keep it in line financially. It was hard. Very hard. And it’s become more and more expensive to do this kind of thing. Probably we would need to go back to that volunteer energy. Perhaps that’s what kept it so great in the first place.”

    “The board is scared, scared of debt and scared of repertory cinema,” he continued. “They’re tired. Really, the only misfeasance on the board’s part is in not trusting me. You need to utilize what people have to offer you when you’re in trouble. I have the energy, the resources, and the smarts to get this thing off the ground.” If he were allowed to take over for the time being, Bob promised that he would utilize every angle to raise money, from pledges to approaching the funding community again to a series of fundraisers, perhaps bringing to town many of the directors who have appeared at the theater in the past. “If we did all that, using my time and even my money, and we failed, I would join the board in saying repertory theater isn’t possible. But I firmly believe that if New York or Pittsburgh or Los Angeles can have these types of theaters, then Minnesota can too. I just want to be given the chance.”

    Bob fell into a profound silence after that. “This night was a tremendous success. Now I have to figure out where to go from here.” When I asked him about his favorite film that played at the Oak Street, it was as if new life ran through him. We were standing, and he flailed his arms and raised his voice like he was preaching on a streetcorner. “I remember one night, it was February and freezing, a Tuesday I want to say, and we were showing Bergman’s Summer Interlude, and we had maybe a dozen, two dozen people in the audience. But I thought, here we are in Minneapolis and these people fought the cold to see this wonderful film.” He beamed. “There were many nights like that.”

    By now the Varsity was empty, except for all the volunteers loafing in their Oak Street King Kong shirts, looking amazed at the success of the evening. They’re a good group of people. I don’t believe that anyone’s out to destroy the Oak Street, and over the next few weeks I hope I can uncover more of this story–it would be helpful to hear the board’s point of view, and what Al Milgrom has to say. Throughout the night volunteers and concerned folks often slipped into theories as to why the board is acting the way they did, from being focused solely on the festival and Bell programming, to being inept, to hungering for the land the theater sits on. Not having spoken to anyone at length but Stephen, I can’t say whether any of that’s true or not–except to point out that the board’s silence can do nothing but provoke these notions.

    As I walked back to my car the night was still clear and balmy. I was a mess of contradictions, feeling furious at the people who drove the cinema into debt and frustrated that there has been such poor communication, but pleased to see so many like-minded people at both meetings, giving me a glimmer of hope. That night I remembered my first experience at the Oak Street, seeing Pickup on South Street in July or August years ago. I had called the theater to make sure it was playing and get directions–this was before Moviefone or the internet–and the guy on the line said, “Our air conditioner’s broken, so it’s hot. But we’ve got free pop!” So we went, Janice and I, to sip our lukewarm Cokes and watch a great movie that takes place in a broiling New York City while we broiled ourselves. Last night I drove by a shuttered Oak Street on my way home and I thought to myself: we’re not asking for a few hundred million from the state and a retractable roof, nor are we hoping for a constitutional amendment to fix what our prejudices tell us is wrong, no, we’re just asking one group of concerned people to give the theater to another group of concerned people who’ll do their absolute best to keep it going. It’s deeply frustrating that it should be so hard, but I know from past experience that saving these kind of things always is. And then I remembered all those movies I’d seen, Nashville and Little Otik and Singin’ in the Rain and every other wonderful picture at the Oak Street, and that after each show I was always thankful, knowing that the good things rarely last, but wishing they could go on forever.

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  • Home Plate

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    I remember my first baseball hot dog like it was yesterday. Sitting under the bright sun with the perfectly green field stretched out in front of me, I gently held the plump pink dawg, dressed only with the vivid yellow mustard of ballparks and hockey rinks. Amidst peanut shells crackling underfoot, I took that first salty bite as the ump called “strike three!” and I tasted the freedom of summer.

    At least that’s the mythology I’ve created.

    You see, I came late to baseball. The first love of my life was a Cubs fan and I was too young to understand. He took me to Wrigley Field and I complained about the cold. We sat and drank bad Busch Lite and maybe I ate some nachos, but he loved the Cubbies more than me, so I couldn’t abide them.

    The second love of my life showed me the real game as we sat on the couch watching TV and eating pasta with glass after glass of Barolo. I was comfortable in my skin and able to admit ignorance of just what defined a Texas Leaguer. I am now an idiot for April.

    These days, as my family piles into the car to head down to the ballpark, the discussion volleys between “Who’s on the mound tonight?” and “Are you going to get a pretzel? Will cotton candy be allowed? Can she get a hot dog AND a burger? What’s the rule on nachos tonight?”

    Everything in my life seems to, rightly or wrongly, relate to food. And the baseball I have come to love (the game filled with its own legends, mythologies, ghosts and superstitions) deserves a grand memory, a significant food moment. But most of my hot dog memories are like Josh Gibson, I’m left wondering what could have been.

    Tonight I’ll sit in my plastic blue seat and unwrap the foil of this season’s first Dome Dog. But while its hard to beat the magic of the myth, with every salty bite, every base hit, every kid of mine screaming SA-WING BATTER at the top of their lungs, the myth fades just a bit.

  • Let 'Er Rip

    All right, the Twins are now 1-5.

    That’s not good. That changes things considerably on the attitude front around here. So I say –pledge or no pledge– let the bitching begin.

    And it’s not just that the Twins are 1-5 that so offends, of course; it’s how they’ve played in going 1-5. Which is terrible, frankly: brutal, uninspired, lackluster, punchless (and punchdrunk), feckless…what the hell, you get the idea. You’ve probably been paying attention. You probably own a thesaurus.

    Still, how about these apples: A team batting average of .225 and an on base percentage of .270. The whole freaking team has been playing like Luis Rivas, in other words –like Luis Rivas having a particularly bad week. Opponents, meanwhile, have been hammering Minnesota’s pitching to the tune of a .333 BA, .369 OBP, and .529 slugging percentage.

    A team would be mighty damn happy to have one player with those sorts of stats, and the Twins have made the entire Toronto and Cleveland line-ups look like one mighty damn good player.

    That won’t continue, certainly. That can’t continue. I’m still pretty confident the pitching will get much, much better. The offense, though, good lord, we can only hope that’s not another story, or rather the same old story we suffered through all last season.

    I can’t listen to that story much longer. It’s a lousy story. It makes me jittery, then it makes me belligerent, and eventually it just makes me very, very sleepy.

    SILVER LINING:

    Two words: Francisco Liriano.

    If you look at Liriano’s line from last year (23-and-two-thirds IP, 19 hits, 33 strikeouts, and seven walks), it’s hard to fathom how he ended up with a 5.70 ERA. Somehow the kid managed to give up four homers and fifteen runs, that’s how.

    Looking at him now, you get the feeling that with a bit more time Liriano would have straightened out that ERA in a hurry. And unless you were just feeling contrary you’d also have to strongly suspect he’s going to end up in the Minnesota rotation, sooner rather than later.