The Rake Magazine

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  • Crow, October

    ear trumpet 7.jpg

    October, before it had

    a name. Still, though, a month of

    low iron skies and protracted

    sulks and cold rain and bursts

    of crisp radiance that never

    lost their ability to

    dazzle and surprise.

    A flash of revelation

    even as the hammer fell:

    We will miss this world

    when it’s gone, or

    when we are.

    Same difference.

    The crow, I’ve been told,

    spoke first in the New World,

    gave the truth its first

    utterance. And the truth it

    spoke was as blunt as

    it was timeless: Hey,

    numbnuts, it said.

    Hey, hey.

    Look here.

    Listen up.

    Here I am,

    and there

    you are.

  • Escape From Ulaanbaatar

    Standing on the wide brick steps of the State Department Store, I
    scanned the crowd for Khaidavyn Chilaajav, director of the Union of
    Mongolian Writers, who I was to meet for dinner. Its plaza crowded with
    taxis and pedestrians, the store is still the hub of downtown, though
    no longer Ulaanbaatar’s only retail center as it was during Mongolia’s
    seventy years of Communism. Small children spun in circles on a
    miniature fair ride, while bigger ones bounced on a four-leaf clover of
    trampolines. Men and women in tattered jeans or silk deels, the
    traditional ankle-length robe, sat docilely near white phones, where a
    call could be made for one hundred togrog (about ten cents). Along a
    boulevard lined with teenagers whispering intimately on benches, the
    cerulean dome of the State Circus shone brightly against the dry, brown
    Southern mountains.  

    Kaidavyn arrived, suited and brusque, and we joined the throngs of
    cars headed into the city’s sprawling neighborhoods of crumbling
    Soviet-era apartments. Inside his flat, he disappeared momentarily
    while I removed my shoes and settled on the couch. He reemerged in
    pajama pants and a polo shirt, his demeanor softened, and flipped on
    the TV. He teased his young daughters and was eminently patient with my
    imperfect Mongolian. Despite his prestigious post organizing and
    promoting Mongolia’s writers, Kaidavyn is a relatively young man of
    around forty, short and portly, who trained as a veterinarian in
    Russia. Enthusiastic about poetry, he showed me his extensive library
    and gave me two books of his poems, a rich gift in a country where
    authors pay for their own publishing and fifteen years ago the stores
    didn’t have food to sell.

    Chilaajav’s wife, Oyunchimeg, brought in tea and a plate of cucumbers
    and khyam (a cross between pâté and Spam). When I stopped her to
    introduce myself, she smiled widely, her brown eyes bright and warm;
    she spoke quickly and then hurried back to the kitchen. She was busy
    during the whole meal, refilling teacups, handing out napkins, and
    serving khushuur (fried meat dumplings) and then buuz (steamed meat
    dumplings). We drank sweet wine made from a regional berry and shots of
    Chinggis vodka. We looked at family photos and paged through a
    coffee-table book of landscapes called Under the Everlasting Mongolian
    Sky. I told them that it was Mongolia’s marvelously huge sky and open
    grasslands that brought me to this country. And, after a brief
    exchange, we found ourselves putting on our shoes and heading off to
    search for just these marvels.

    In five minutes the family was ready: Kaidavyn handed out sweaters, the
    two girls grabbed toys, and Oyunchimeg packed a backpack with food and
    filled a thermos with tea. Not long after piling into their small SUV,
    there we were, surrounded by dry, treeless hills and a few ramshackle
    houses and yurts. Loose pink clouds dissipated as the sun set behind a
    line of dark, distant mountains. Kaidavyn said to me, laughing, “That’s
    the sky.”

    We followed a dirt track to a hilltop. The ground was faintly green
    with young grass and dotted with rotting bones and piles of horse
    manure. Oyunchimeg arranged the blankets and food. Kaidavyn and his
    eldest daughter played badminton, their birdie barely a speck against
    the great dusky sky and sweeping plains. We heard a quiet lowing and
    Oyunchimeg said it was the sound of a cow before I pointed out it was
    coming from her bag. A round of giggling ensued as she answered her
    vibrating cell phone. To talk to his older daughter, who had walked
    over the rise, Kaidavyn used his phone to call hers, which, it turned
    out, had been left in the car. In place of a ring, a pop song played
    into Kaidavyn’s ear, loud and tinny in the empty night. The younger
    girl snatched her father’s phone and began dancing to the music,
    spinning in circles and shaking her hips, her grinning face lit by the
    screen’s blue glow. Her sister eventually returned, perhaps following
    the sound of Kaidavyn’s boisterous singing. We drank more vodka and
    tea, and ate fruit. We watched the first star rise as Oyunchimeg told
    us about naming her daughters after stars. The air grew cold and so we
    moved toward the car, talking of coming back later with tents and a
    grill.

    We drove through the clouds of smoke that blanketed the lightless road.
    We swerved around pedestrians and a man conveying a boy on the
    handlebars of a bicycle. Cars coming from the city flashed their
    brights as they approached and dimmed them after they passed. The first
    factories appeared, followed by churches and shopping centers, and then
    the endless blocks of apartments. To me, weary and smiling and lulled
    by Kaidavyn’s singing, the city seemed tentative and insignificant, an
    itinerant camp in that vast landscape, enveloped by everlasting sky.

  • We've Come a Long Way, Baby

    MUSIC
    Walking in Minneapolis

    0710cohen.jpgSinger-songwriter Marc Cohen — best known for “Walking in Memphis” — is in town tonight promoting his latest album, Join the Parade. Cohen has come a long way since Carly Simon discovered him. He’s even come a long way from that Best New Artist Grammy he won in 1991. In fact, he’s no doubt among the top American lyricists today. Enjoy this evening’s performance, with a gritty opening blues act by Amy Correia.

    7:30 p.m., Fitzgerald Theater, 10 E. Exchange St., St. Paul; 651-290-1221; $51.50.

    Al Di Meola World Sinfonia ’07-’08

    0710dimeola.jpgCelebrated by Guitar Players Magazine as the highest rated guitarists of all time, Al Di Meola has been at the forefront of jazz for over a quarter of a century — something you’d never guess from the looks of him, but clearly evident in his playing. Di Meola has tried it all. He’s explored numerous styles and voices. He’s traversed the globe both physically and musically. He’s played with greats in just about every musical genre, and from just about every country. And now he’s here for two nights only.

    7 & 9:30 p.m., Dakota Jazz Club & Restaurant, 1010 Nicollet Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-332-1010; $45 & $30.

    BOOKS & AUTHORS
    Sixty-two Million a Year Ain’t Peanuts

    0710michaelis.jpgGiven the acclaim that has greeted Schulz and Peanuts, the new biography of Charles Schulz, it’s surprising that St. Paul has not rolled out the red carpet for its author, David Michaelis. After all, if one judges from the number of bronze Peanuts statues populating the city, it’d be hard not to conclude that Schulz, not F. Scott Fitzgerald, is its most favored son. Then again, boosterism via Peanuts statues is hardly the same thing as promotion for the man who has painstakingly researched the warts-and-all story of their creator. And from what we’ve read, there are a lot of warts. Anyhow, Michaelis will be appearing in Minneapolis on the University of Minnesota campus to discuss the self-described bland man who became the world’s richest cartoonist. –Julie Caniglia

    2 p.m., U of M Bookstore, Coffman Union, 300 Washington Ave. S.E., Minneapolis ; 612-625-6000.

    SPECIAL EVENT
    Mix It Up

    0710penny.jpgCan’t seem to settle on just one thing this evening? Try an evening of Music, Art, and Conversation at Homewood Studios. Join composer and guitarist John Penny for an acoustic set of sculpted and improvised jazz stylings. Enjoy the artwork of University students determined to translate oral narratives from Northside residents into works of art. View a few of John Penny’s drawings as well. And engage your fellow artists and art lovers in some awe-inspiring conversation. (You can do it.)

    7 p.m., Homewood Studios, 2400 Plymouth Ave. N., Minneapolis; 612-521-0399; $5.

    SPORTS
    Remember, There’s That Other Sport

    With so many losses all around us, it’s time to broaden the playing field and support some of those teams you may be neglecting. I’m not talking Gopher Sports here, people. This is Minnesota. Remember hockey? I mean, when I was in high school here that’s all anyone ever talked about. Of course, those were the Minnesota North Stars days — before Norm Green took our team away. But this is still hockey country, regardless of El Niño, and the Minnesota Wild need our support. Granted, they dropped the ball (or the puck, in this case) against the Colorado Avalanche last week with three straight losses; but we’re expecting the much-needed four-game homestand, against Pittsburgh.

    6 p.m., Excel Energy Center, corner of Kellogg Blvd. and W. Seventh St., St. Paul; $22-$275.

  • Molding Young Minds


    0710indoctrinate.jpgUniversities
    shape mind. Universities teach us to "think." But do they teach us to
    think for ourselves, or simply to think like "they" do. And who are
    "they" anyhow? Do they really want diversity? Do they really want
    diversity of thought? These are some of the questions raised by Evan Coyne Maloney’s new documentary, Indoctrinate U.
    Interviews with students and members of academia, combined with live
    on-campus footage, illustrate a repressive political climate that
    transforms education into indoctrination and threatens our freedom of
    thought. Don’t expect the usual liberal film in which students complain
    that their radical ideologies are being suppressed. Maloney was once
    called the "conservative answer to Michael Moore" by The New York Sun.

    Through Nov. 1, 7:15 & 9:15 p.m., Oak Street Cinema, 309 Oak St. S.E., Minneapolis; $8 (students $6, members/seniors $5).

  • 2007-08 NBA Crystal Ball

    EASTERN CONFERENCE

    Atlantic Division

    1. Boston Celtics (1st Playoff seed)

    Why: Three yeoman stars all accoustomed to carrying the load. A pair
    of role starters, Perkins and Rondo, who are better than advertised.
    Glue guys for points (House) and defense (Posey) off the bench.

    Worries: Mediocre coach, Ray Allen’s ankles.

    Overrated: The plus-30 ages of the troika of stars.

    Underrated: The amount of fun Celtic fans are going to have watching
    three long-suffering stars and a pair burgeoning young talents come
    together.

    Wild Card: Can Tony Allen back up Rondo at the point?

    2. Toronto Raptors (6)

    Why: Beneath the radar synergy of unsung United Nations crew. Great depth. Capable coach still learning and improving.

    Worries: Flash in the pan overachievers leads to mediocrity for one star team, league figures out tendency of newfangled Euros.

    Overrated: Nothing. How Canadian.

    Underrated: Bosh’s consistency, Calderon’s grit as backup point guard.

    Wild card: Bargnani–breakout season or just steady improvement?

    3. New Jersey Nets (7)

    Why: Aging stars, lopsided roster, not enough talent in the paint. Sense time has passed before it ever really arrived.

    Worries: Is a healthy Krstic a zero-sum game versus last year’s
    Mikki Moore surprise? Jefferson’s post-injury hops, Carter’s
    post-contract attitude.

    Overrated: Vince Carter, tin plated golden boy.

    Underrated: Kidd’s 8.2 rebounds per game.

    Wild Card: Jamaal Magloire, in the perfect situation to prove he’s not washed up.

    4. New York Knicks (13)

    Why: The roster is still mashed potatoes, pickles and ice cream.
    From Dolan through Isiah down to Nate Robinson, too much bullshit, not
    enough glue.

    Worries: Eddy Curry and Zach Randolph? Are you shitting me? Jamal
    Crawford and Stefon Marbury? Who’s the level-headed guy, Quinton
    Richardson?

    Underrated: David Lee, the patience of Knicks fans.

    Overrated: Marbury’s selfishness, Robinson’s long term value.

    Wild Card: How long can Curry and Randolph peacefully, if not productively, co-exist?

    5. Philadelphia 76ers (15)

    Why: Way too inexperienced, with not enough talent.

    Worries: Is Iguodala merely a poor man’s Iverson in more ways than one, dominating the ball while nobody else develops?

    Overrated: The once stellar defense of Samuel Dalembert, the endurance of Reggie Evans playing starter’s minutes.

    Underrated: Kyle Korver, more than just a great gunner.

    Wild Card: Louis Williams eventually taking over for Andre Miller at the point; the potential breakout of Willie Green.

    Central Division

    1. Chicago Bulls (2)

    Why: Great young nucleus gels another year, both sides know what to expect in the Big Ben situation.

    Worries: Ben Gordon doesn’t cede to Luol Deng in pecking order; Noah
    flops behind Wallace; Skiles wears out welcome in year five, Nocioni’s
    mental makeup, post playoff collapse.

    Overrated: Wallace’s defense as senior citizen, without ‘Sheed.

    Underrated: Hinrich’s jumper, Sefolosha’s defense.

    Wild Card: Ty Thomas, breakout or yo yo round two?

    2. Detroit Pistons (3)

    Why: Flip Saunders is a regular season wizard; Jason Maxiell is ready for prime time, Billups on a mission.

    Worries: Age; McDyess or foul-prone ‘Sheed in the pivot; Tayshaun
    Prince’s mental makeup, post playoff bricklaying; the tread of Rip
    Hamilton’s tires.

    Overrated: Billups, who is very good but not great.

    Underrated: Hamilton’s defense, Wallace’s defense, new pickup Jarvis Hayes, who shouldn’t be buried on the bench.

    Wild Card: A healthy McDyess for an entire season

    3. Cleveland Cavs (5)

    Why: No more ambushes, a dreadful offense, contract snits with
    Varejao and Pavlovik, versus King James being another year better.

    Worries: Z’s motor, Hughes’s fragility, LeBron’s loyalty.

    Overrated: Drew Gooden

    Underrated: Coach Mike Brown

    Wild Card: Daniel Gibson

    4. Milwaukee Bucks (9)

    Why: Weird team with no identity, wasted two years with hapless
    Terry Stotts. Bogut and Villanueva could boom or bust; ditto Yi who
    won’t boom for at least a year or two.

    Worries: Villanueva’s injuries, Michael Redd’s horrible horrible
    defense, having to play Yi before he’s ready to keep him happy.

    Overrated: Desmond Mason and Bobby Simmons–mediocre, not good.

    Underrated: Point guard Mo Williams; worth every penny of that fat deal.

    Wild Card: Bogut and Williams seizing the reins, Redd letting them.

    5. Indiana Pacers (14)

    Why: Tinsley and O’Neal already over the hill; the grotesque Golden State trade; a miniaturized Marquis Daniels.

    Worries: A slew of bad contracts makes rebuilding impossible; O’Neal demands trade; Tinsley packs it in; free fall accelerates.

    Overrated: Mike Dunleavy’s potential.

    Underrated: Jeff Foster’s grit and savvy.

    Wild Card: Danny Granger as this year’s Kevin Martin.

    Southeast Division

    1. Washington Wizards (4)

    Why: Gilbert Arenas, a kinder, gentler, funnier Kobe. An underrated bench. Better defense led by DeShawn Steverson.

    Worries: Soft in the paint without Etan Thomas. Arenas emulates the bad Kobe, Jamison starts his decline.

    Overrated: Jamison’s glue-guy capability.

    Underrated: Antonio Daniels and Andray Blatche off the bench.

    Wild Cards: The health of Darius Songalia; the emergence of rook Nick Young.

    2. Miami Heat (8)

    Why: Too much throttle from Pat Riley, not enough gas on the roster. Shaq old; Wade dinged.

    Worries: Shaq old; Wade dinged, Ricky Davis and Jason Williams playing for new contracts.

    Overrated: Pat Riley with a team of average talent.

    Underrated: The pounding Shaq had endured.

    Wild Card: Wade sucks it up, reprises Superman show down the stretch.

    3. Orlando Magic (10)

    Why: One reason: Dwight Howard. Rashard Lewis is overpaid and a
    slight push over departed Grant Hill. Everyone in the starting lineup
    besides Howard is an outside shooter. He’ll be the biggest one man team
    this side of Cleveland.

    Worries: Lewis presses to justify ridiculous contract; JJ Redick continues to be fool’s gold.

    Overrated: The impact of Lewis.

    Underrated: New coach Stan Gundy; hustling glue guy Trevor Azia.

    Wild Card: Redic and Hedo Turkoglu stretching defenses away from Howard and Lewis.

    4. Charlotte Bobcats (11)

    Why: Team on rise, especially backcourt of Felton and J-Rich. Injuries to May and Morrison are costly.

    Worries: Crushed in paint as Okafor hits ceiling and Brezec too slow; Felton’s D fades; Richardson’s scoring disrupts chemistry.

    Overrated: Okafor’s post presence.

    Underrated: Felton’s distribution at the point.

    Wild Card: New coach Sam Vincent.

    5. Atlanta Hawks (12)

    Why: Loads of potential could yield 20 or 40 wins. Pruning roster for quality vet or two would help.

    Worries: Nobody sorts a pecking order; bickering, immaturity and indecision reign.

    Overrated: Josh Smith, not as good as his numbers.

    Underrated: Joe Johnson and Al Horford; a nice place to start.

    Wild Card: Lightning strikes and winning becomes contagious. Marvin Williams finally lives up to the hype.

    WESTERN CONFERENCE

    Southwest Division

    1. Dallas Mavericks (3)

    Why: Nothing to prove in the regular season will affect their record
    some, but Trenton Hassell and Eddie Jones give them depth with
    perimeter defense that an aging Jason Terry can’t provide in the
    postseason. Diop over the injured Dampier right from the jump is
    another playoff prep bonus. Ditto the acquisition of banger Brandon
    Bass.

    Worries: Nowitzki fails the do-or-die leadership test a third
    straight time; the aging of Stack and Terry; the recovery of Dampier
    from shoulder surgery.

    Overrated: Nowitzki’s "improvement" the last two years.

    Underrated: Stackhouse’s ability to get to the line.

    Wild Card: Their blood pressure in the postseason. From Cuban to
    Avery to Dirk and on down, they are wound pretty tight for a team that
    got undressed by an 8 seed last season.

    San Antonio Spurs (4)

    Why: Another team that will bide its time. Oberto is now settled in
    the pivot; Ginobili is the NBA’s premiere sidekick; Duncan the best big
    man; Parker should keep improving, especially on defense.

    Worries: A lot of rugged minutes begin wearing down Bowen; Duncan gets hurt; the jinx of even-numbered playoff years.

    Overrated: Their bench; thinner than the Celtics’

    Underrated: Gregg Popovich, the best in the game today.

    Wild Card: Age. This is an old team that plays smashmouth defense deep into every season.

    3. New Orleans Hornets (6)

    Why: The classic leap forward after the step back. Chandler and West
    are beasts in the paint, Paul excels at the drive and kick to Peja and
    MoPete. Bobby Jackson, Rasual Butler, Hilton Armstrong and the rook
    Julian Wright are nice bench pieces.

    Worries: Peja’s health, Jackson’s wear and tear.

    Overrated: Peja’s importance.

    Underrated: Tyson Chandler, coach Byron Scott.

    Wild Card: How much will, or can, New Orleans embrace this emerging team?

    4. Houston Rockets (7)

    Why: For better or worse, Yao, T-Mac and now hot Argentinian rookie power forward Luis Scola.

    Worries: A team seemingly built for defense (Yao, Battier) couldn’t
    win for Van Gundy and is a mismatch for new coach Rick Adelman; Rafel
    Alston is not a championship point guard.

    Overrated: Yao and T-Mac–dynamic duo with zip playoff series wins.

    Underrated: Ever-ready battery Chuck Hayes at power forward; sharpshooter Luther Head off the bench.

    Wild Cards: Scola obviously, who might be the galvanizing third star
    piece or a notorious bust. And Adelman: Will he really plant Yao and
    Mutumbo in the high post?

    5. Memphis Grizzlies (11)

    Why: They’ve got a clue, are stockpiling talent, would be a playoff
    team in the East. Rudy Gay and Hakim Warrick are going to be better,
    Juan Carlos Navarro is a Spur-like foreign gem. Mike Miller will
    flourish in new coach Iavaroni’s up-and-down game.

    Worries: The collective basketball IQs of Stromile Swift and Darko
    Milicic beside Pau Gausol at center; the readiness of rook Mike Conley
    or pro-soph Kyle Lowry to supplant Stoudamire at the point.

    Overrated: Darko’s upside.

    Underrated: Mike Miller

    Wild Cards: Navarro, Conley/Lowry.

    Pacific Division

    1. Phoenix Suns (2)

    Why: The way they play is too much fun for distractions about
    Marion’s contract and trade demands. Acquiring Grant Hill will get Nash
    some rest. The franchise knows this year is their best, probably last,
    shot at a ring with this crew.

    Worries: Amare, Nash, Hill–How many crucial injury risks can they dodge? Who replaces Kurt Thomas: Brian Skinner? Sean Marks?

    Overrated: Amare’s post-microfracture strength and quickness.

    Underrated: Boris Diaw, who needs to be worked back into the mix.

    Wild Card: Hill, who might be the final ingredient or remain an injury-prone tease.

    2. Golden State (9)

    Why: Because the frothy fun of the playoffs isn’t there in
    mid-winter. Relying on Baron Davis and Stephen Jackson is an oxymoron.

    Worries: Davis’s body, Jackson’s head; the sustainability of Monta
    Ellis and Matt Barnes after their breakout years; defending the paint.

    Overrated: NellyBall

    Underrated: Mickael Pietrus, the upside of Andris Biedrins.

    Wild Card: The whole team is a wild card, but let’s say Baron, who could be a top-10 MVP candidate or a gimpy, glorified gunner.

    3. Los Angeles Lakers (10) w/Kobe

    Why: Bickering principals accustomed to championships. Some strong talent but a psychological mess.

    Worries: Ah, the distraction of whether or not to trade Kobe; Phil Jackson’s stale Zen; Odom’s health; Bynum’s confidence.

    Overrated: Kobe Bryant as "the best player in the game."

    Underrated: Luke Walton, Bynum.

    Wild Card: The volatile Kobe deciding to be a team player out of spite.

    4. Los Angeles Clippers (14)

    Why: Injuries to Brand and Livingstone are deadly, leaving Maggette, Cassell and Mobley to "sort it out."

    Worries: A team ripe for implosion does just that; Mike Dunleavy
    becoming the second coach to be choked by a player in NBA history.

    Overrated: Al Thornton as trendy ROY; Tim Thomas.

    Underrated: Ruben Patterson, a bad actor off the court but fabulous glue and dirty work on it.

    Wild Cards: Chris Kamen rediscovering his game; Brevin Knight allowed to be the balm in the backcourt.

    5. Sacramento Kings (15)

    Why: Bibby and Artest are two very different kinds of toxins.
    Shareef and Brad Miller are toast, Kevin Martin is all stats, and
    Reggie Theus is the coach? Potentially the most tragicomical squad in
    the league; when do they sign Flava Flav?

    Worries: Being barred from moving to Vegas.

    Overrated: Bibby, Martin, the size of Mikki Moore’s contract.

    Underrated: Quiet pro Kenny Thomas.

    Wild Card: Insert Artest joke here.

    Northwest Division

    1. Denver Nuggets (1)

    Why: Because unlike the other contenders, the regular season
    matters. Melo, AI and Camby rival the troika in Boston and San Antonio;
    Nene, Najera, Kleiza, Stephen Hunter and maybe K-Mart can bring the
    beef. Chucky Atkins as an upgrade over Steve Blake at the point.

    Worries: Camby’s health; the warranty on coach George Karl’s effectiveness; regulating the glory of AI.

    Overrated: JR Smith, who’s not worth the trouble.

    Underrated: Camby, a genuine game-changer when healthy; Linas Kleiza, who needs some burn.

    Wild Card: Kenyon Martin, whose return to form would make the Nugs a legit co-favorite with San Antonio in the postseason.

    2. Utah Jazz (5)

    Why: Deron Williams another year closer to being league’s best point
    guard; Boozer/Okur matchup quandary; Sloan a salty master with a couple
    years left; Millsap, Ronnie Brewer and rook Almond emerge as key pieces
    for depth.

    Worries: Kirilenko/Sloan contretemps continues to bring out the
    worst in both of them; Okur stops complementing his treys with inside
    energy; sans Derek Fisher, the dropoff from D-Ron is precipitous at the
    point.

    Overrated: Okur and Boozer, who need the other to be effective.

    Underrated: Millsap, a real beast in the making.

    Wild Card: Almond’s ability to be a better Gordan Giricek.

    3. Portland Trailblazers (8)

    Why: The long, slow rebuilding comes to fruition even without Oden.
    Aldridge and Roy are studs in the making, Przy an ideal complementary
    shotblocker down low; Webster and Outlaw a pair of dynamic swingmen;
    Steve Blake and Channing Frye good glue. And Zach Randolph is gone.

    Worries: Jarrett Jack isn’t the answer at the point, and Blake and
    rook Taurean Green can’t pick up the slack. Outlaw and Webster still
    aren’t ready.

    Overrated: The impact of Oden’s injury, especially if Przybilla can stay healthy.

    Underrated: Nate McMillan’s influence, especially with Randolph and Darius Miles out of the picture.

    Wild Card: Roy’s ability to be the de facto point guard.

    4. Seattle Supersonics (12)

    Why: The best help in the draft from Durant and Jeff Green; and a
    nice piece with Delonte West at combo guard, but the front line is too
    weak in the brutal Western Conference.

    Worries: Durant gets beaten up and loses confidence; Wilcox and
    Collison remain the best bets down low as the three bigs from previous
    drafts continue to flounder. Coach PJ Carlisimo can’t find the right
    balance of tough and tender with the ghost of Spree in his closet.

    Overrated: The effectivenes of Damien Wilkins’ hustle; the promise of Robert Swift; the future of Luke Ridnour.

    Underrated: Glue guy Kurt Thomas; the immediate impact of Green, who will outperform Durant in overall value this season.

    Wild Card: Durant really being ready for immediate stardom.

    5. Minnesota Timberwolves (13)

    Why: Problems at the point; culling the plethora of ‘tweeners; the
    emergence of Jefferson, McCants, Gomes and eventually Brewer as
    building blocks.

    Worries: Foye’s knee; Gomes’s departure next year, followed by
    Jefferson’s down the road; Wittman overmatched by the rebuilding job;
    Brewer can’t shoot well enough to compel a single-team.

    Overrated: Gerald Green’s future; Telfair’s positive preseason; Craig Smith’s upside.

    Underrated: Theo Ratliff’s (short term) impact; the potential team D
    of Theo/Jefferson/Gomes/McCants/Foye with Brewer off the bench.

    Wild Card: Foye at the point; Antoine Walker.

  • Midtown Global Market: Two Trips

    pinata.jpg

    This is the week to check out the Midtown Global Market … I know you’ve been meaning to get back there.

    Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday:
    Anyone can give out Snickers or Double Bubble, don’t you want to be the cool Halloween House that gives our Chupa Chups or Pocky sticks? Check out the global candy selection and treat your little tricksters to tamarind candies or spicy chile sweets from Fiesta in America. Show up on Wednesday with your tots and trick-or-treat the shops or get in on the pinata action.

    Thursday – Sunday:
    Now that the silly holiday is over, you can turn your attentions to the proper planning of the Feast. Lori Callister’s Farm in the Market is celebrating their expansion. Sign up for your fresh turkey, check out their new deli and cheese section, register for prizes and sample local meats, cheeses, deli salads, crepes, wine and beer! Saturday will feature cooking demos by Mike Phillips of Craftsman (11:30 – 1pm) and Ken Goff (1pm – 2:30), formerly of The Dakota.

  • Tommy B: King of All Ratings

    So this time it’s the Native Americans going after Tom Barnard. I’ll watch with amusement to see if Clyde Bellecourt can extract even an ounce of pain from the Twin Cities’ most dominant entertainer (and, in my opinion, most potent "new media" political pundit). But based on historical precedent, I’m be betting heavily that Barnard will dismiss any protest Bellecourt can muster with the sangfroid of a grazing water buffalo flicking a buzzing gnat away from his big, muddy rump.

    (Here is Terry Collins’ story from this morning’s Strib. The 19 year-old file photo gives you some idea how much contact Barnard has bothered to have with the Strib in all those years. He doesn’t need them in the least.)

    Why won’t Barnard suffer? Because his key audience loves this stuff. It is exactly what they want to hear. It is the anti-MPR. You can’t feed them enough knuckle-headed riffs on drunken/in-breeding/selfish/rich/dirt-poor Indians, ungrateful/unassimilating Hmong (his 1998 run-in with SE Asians), or, well hell, pick any group that isn’t blue collar and white and take all the shots you want.

    The experience elsewhere with the excesses of Opie & Anthony (they encourage a couple to have sex in St. Patrick’s Cathedral, get canned and soon hired back WITH a fat satellite deal to boot) and Don Imus tells you everything you need to know about the public appetite for the Barnard/morning "zoo" style shtick. It is too immense for any programming executive to resist. In this not at all unique universe your cred for "being real" is enhanced by warehouse john toilet jokes, anything involving the word "tits" and verbally mugging minorities.

    How popular is Barnard? According to the most recent Arbitron ratings, released last week, (the VERY BUSY Ms. Rybak and I will break them down later today or early tomorrow), Barnard, put simply, IS morning drive radio in the Twin Cities. Everyone else could save the electricity. Among men 25-54 his show gobbles up a 31.7% share of the audience. 93X, (KQ’s sister station), is second with 8.2%.

    Among all men 12 and older, Barnard has a 24.5% to 9.1% lead over second place WCCO-AM.

    Among WOMEN 25-54 Barnard is FIRST, with 11.8% of the audience, with KS95 second a couple points back.

    Point being, Barnard not only has nothing to fear from Clyde Bellecourt, but if the past is prologue, he’ll emerge from this incident stronger in the eyes of his core audience for having taken shots from precisely the kinds of people they tolerate least.

    Five years ago I got tipped to the intriguing correlation of Barnard’s area of highest listener-ship and Jesse Ventura’s heaviest voter turn-out, namely, the northwest exurbs around Ramsey and Coon Rapids. One thing led to another. For a little atmosphere I went out to a huge bowling alley up in Ramsey to talk to people at random, and sure enough almost everyone, men and women, not only listened to Barnard’s show but were in complete synche with him on cultural-political issues. Paul Wellstone was a wimp. Norm Coleman, (who courted Barnard assiduously for years and now is best of buddies), was a shining light of reason.

    Digging a little deeper, the racial tenor got pretty nasty. A few too many of Barnard’s most avid fans held unabashed grudges against "niggers" and "gooks" who they thought were cutting in line ahead of them for jobs and privileges. In the story I included the dark and pathetic ramblings of one postal service employee for anecdotal effect.

    More significantly though, in terms of the undeniable influence of "new media", i.e. people employing Imus and Barnard’s infotainment pop demagoguery, shrewd political operatives like Brian McClung, now working for Tim Pawlenty, freely conceded the importance of Barnard’s endorsement, tacit or explicit. You had to try getting on his good side. Barnard’s stamp of approval, several offered, was more important to them than an endorsement by the Star Tribune. (No one mentioned the Pioneer Press).

    If you missed that story, there’s a reason. After seven torturous re-writes the PiPress killed it, allegedly on the basis that I did not ID the postal worker I quoted, in violation of the paper’s strict "no anonymous sources" policy. I pointed out that he had good reason to fear disciplinary action from his employer were he to appear in print sounding like a racist turnip.

    But by that time KQ’s manager at the time had gotten wind of the piece and called upper level editors to complain that I had filled in one day on KFAN, a clear display of conflict of interest KQ claimed, so I should not be allowed to write negatively on Tom Barnard. (I had received permission from the paper to do the radio bit, and said repeatedly on-air that I wasn’t being paid.) In truth, the story was a very difficult sell because the managing editor in charge at the time had never heard of Tom Barnard, and none of the brass was too pleased at me suggesting they were no longer on the short list of "must get" endorsements in our rapidly evolving media universe.

    The point(s) of that little drama were these:

    (1.) Barnard is remarkably influential with a certain, large demographic that mainstream newspaper managers believe they must appeal to, (usually with outdoors and sports coverage, etc.), but in fact generally ignore, therefore don’t understand particularly well and rarely interact with in their personal lives.

    (2.) Barnard is a powerful indicator of the gulf between the "news" audience that is open to whatever the facts may show, and another substantial group, marked by palpable resentments, that is primarily interested in personalities that fortify their unexamined prejudices.

    Tommy’ll survive this one just fine.

     

  • Your Secrets and Mine

    BOOKS & AUTHORS
    Frank Warren Can’t Keep a Secret

    0710secrets.jpgPssst. Wanna hear a secret? How about 100,000 of them? PostSecret contains over 100,000 postcards from across the globe, each with some kind of secret — from the poetic to the perverse. And the man responsible for the site, Frank Warren, is in town today, promoting his new book — just what you’d expect: A Lifetime of Secrets: A PostSecret Book. This, I believe, is his fourth PostSecrets book; and if you go meet him this afternoon, you could be in the fifth. Pick up a PostSecret postcard at the event, and share your secrets with Warren (and perhaps the rest of the world). His latest collection “lays bare the confessions of people at every stage of life and ultimately offers a glimpse into our collective psyche, touching on the hopes, dreams and fears of our relationships and experiences.” A Lifetime of Secrets is a photo collection of 4×6 postcards from people revealing their deepest secrets — you know, all that stuff we’re not supposed to see.

    2 p.m., University of Minnesota Bookstores, 300 Washington Ave. S.E., Coffman Memorial Union, Minneapolis; 612-625-6564; free.

    MUSIC
    David Sanchez Quartet

    0710sanchez.jpgI’ve been a David Sanchéz fan for years. The man is from my home town in Puerto Rico, and true to our culture, has the most musical of souls. Influenced a great deal by the legendary Charlie Parker, Sanchéz has played alongside greats like Eddie Palmieri and Dizzy Gillespie. But the man doesn’t need these big names to toot his horn. He’s a master of the tenor sax and a prolific composer, with numerous Grammy nominations under his belt and a perfect sound that can do no wrong.

    7 & 9:30 p.m., Dakota Jazz Club & Restaurant, 1010 Nicollet Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-332-1010; $25 & $17.

    FILM
    There Never Was a Woman Like Rita

    0710gilda.jpgGilda is Rita Hayworth at her finest — the quintessential sultry redhead. “There NEVER was a woman like Gilda!” reads the movie poster. And there never was. Forget all these wannabe stripper-stars out there, like Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears; Rita is the real deal — without removing anything but her gloves. Yes, this is the film that gave us the now-so-familiar image of the stiptease kick-off with the long black satin gloves. Directed by Charles Vidor, this film noir plays on the post-war fear of Nazi war criminals escaping to South America.

    8 p.m., Parkway Theatre, 4814 Chicago Ave. S., Minneapolis; 612-822-3030; $6.

    Molding Young Minds

    0710indoctrinate.jpgUniversities shape mind. Universities teach us to “think.” But do they teach us to think for ourselves, or simply to think like “they” do. And who are “they” anyhow? Do they really want diversity? Do they really want diversity of thought? These are some of the questions raised by Evan Coyne Maloney’s new documentary, Indoctrinate U. Interviews with students and members of academia, combined with live on-campus footage, illustrate a repressive political climate that transforms education into indoctrination and threatens our freedom of thought. Don’t expect the usual liberal film in which students complain that their radical ideologies are being suppressed. Maloney was once called the “conservative answer to Michael Moore” by The New York Sun.

    7:15 & 9:15 p.m., Oak Street Cinema, 309 Oak St. S.E., Minneapolis; $8 (students $6, members/seniors $5).

    Not the Fictional Amadeus

    0710mozart.jpgAmadeus may have been a good film — beautifully acted at least — but its fictional nature did a disservice to the Master, and to the millions of people who walked away from it thinking they now understood Mozart. If you’re one of these people, don’t worry. Tonight you have an opportunity to learn about the real deal. In Search of Mozart paints a picture of Mozart’s life and music, focusing on the parallels between the two. Framed as a detective story — with the mission of finding the real Mozart — this Phil Grabsky documentary follows a 25,000-mile journey “along every route Mozart every traveled.” While the music certainly takes center stage — as well it should — interviews, personal documents and letters, expert commentary, and English actress Juliet Stevenson’s narration come together to give a full picture of the beauty that was Mozart.

    7 & 9:15 p.m., Bell Auditorium, 10 Church St. S.E., Minneapolis; $8 (students $6, members/seniors $5).

  • Gone Baby Gone: A Tragedy in 3 Acts

    It seems Dennis Lehane is our era’s Raymond Chandler, creating dark, brooding, atmospheric crime dramas. Only instead of the damp glitz of southern California, his working-class Boston — namely Dorchester — is like the Dublin of James Joyce and Jonathan Swift: a maelstrom of the poor and the poorer, people scrabbling for power, for dignity, and for an ethical stake in a world where there is no right.

    Lehane’s Mystic River, brought to film by Clint Eastwood in 2003, was set in a Boston as blue and inky as Gotham, with a slightly muddled storyline and an over-the-top performance by Sean Penn — an actor whom I typically revere. Mystic River was good. This year’s Gone Baby Gone is extraordinary. It’s a classic tragedy staged in three acts, starring superb actors such as Ed Harris, Amy Madigan, and Morgan Freeman, and adapted and directed — unbelievably — by Ben Affleck.

    That such a goofball of a performer had the talent to execute this lucid, well-paced script is a one-in-a-million surprise (though, come to think of it, Clint Eastwood had been kissing monkeys before Unforgiven). But this is a movie that seems to unfurl, organically, its story ascending in complexity: from simple crime drama to character sketch to morality play.

    The plot focuses on the disappearance of a 4-year-old girl, her slatternly cokehead of a mother, and the P.I. (Casey Affleck, Ben’s brother, and an actor with 20 times the skill) who was brought in by her aunt (Amy Madigan, who has aged with grace and fortitude) to find her. What happens from here is too delicate for me to describe: the film depends upon its viewers shifting allegiances to make its final point. But I will say that in the end, Affleck’s character must make a choice between two evils. And the agony in this is so well-drawn, so real, it leaves viewers conflicted and cowed.

    See Gone Baby Gone because it will generate discussion, because it will make you doubt your principles, and because it is a joy to immerse oneself in a story so whole. But watch, too, because the scenes of Dorchester are gritty and almost documentary-like: obese women walking with effort, former gangbangers in wheelchairs, children on bicycles, barflys with harelips, women with chipped fingernail polish and cheaply dyed hair. Yet, there is community in this. A shattered, desperate aunt; a cop from the ‘hood with a diagonal scar across his face; a heroic drug dealer who risks his business trying to save a kid.

    "You have to take a side and live with the consequences," Remy (Ed Harris) says at a pivotal point in the movie. "If you take little kids, if you beat little kids, you are not on my side." This is the core of the film, this absolute truth. And yet, questions about right and wrong remain.

  • Wolves Preseason Plus/Minus

    Courtesy of Wolves stat guru Paul Swanson, here are the plus/minus total for the Wolves this exhibition season.

    2007-08 Minnesota Timberwolves
    Preseason Plus/Minus Report (Final)
    Raw Minutes Team Opp Minutes Team Opp Net
    Player Plus/Minus On Floor Pts/48 Pts/48 On Bench Pts/48 Pts/48 Plus/Minus
    Telfair, Sebastian +25 74.3 101.4 85.2 319.7 88.4 97.9 +25.6
    Ratliff, Theo +17 102.4 102.2 94.2 291.6 86.9 96.0 +17.0
    McCants, Rashad +18 144.6 98.9 92.9 249.4 86.2 97.0 +16.8
    Jefferson, Al -6 247.1 96.5 97.7 146.9 81.4 91.8 +9.3
    Foye, Randy +3 51.7 87.3 84.5 342.3 91.4 97.2 +8.5
    Buckner, Greg 0 130.6 87.1 87.1 263.4 92.8 99.7 +6.9
    Davis, Ricky -10 208.2 95.0 97.3 185.8 86.3 93.5 +4.9
    Smith, Craig -9 161.0 93.3 96.0 233.0 89.2 95.2 +3.3
    Gomes, Ryan -13 119.0 88.7 94.0 275.0 91.8 96.2 -0.9
    Richard, Chris -12 98.8 81.6 87.5 295.2 94.0 98.2 -1.6
    Howard, Juwan -12 69.5 87.0 95.3 324.5 91.7 95.6 -4.4
    Jaric, Marko -45 169.9 95.2 107.9 224.1 87.6 86.1 -14.2
    Brewer, Corey -49 195.8 86.5 98.5 198.2 95.2 92.5 -14.7
    Blount, Mark -32 73.1 74.3 95.3 321.0 94.7 95.6 -20.1
    Green, Gerald -60 117.1 73.8 98.4 276.9 98.1 94.3 -28.4
    Edwards, John -5 6.9 48.7 83.5 387.1 91.6 95.7 -30.7

    I apologize for the density of the text–it came through in the email a lot more clearly, but I’m pretty incompetent when it comes to transferrals. Those who just want the most general sense should read it as a list of players with the best-to-worst net plus/minus totals per 48 minutes.

    But if you can parse the bunched up categories, there are interesting things to consider. For example, the Wolves really did suffer from not having Telfair and (to a lesser extent) Foye running the point, especially on defense. In the 169.9 minutes Jaric was on the court, the Wolves ceded an average of 107.9 points per 48 minutes to their opponents, versus the 85.2 points per 48 allowed during the 74.3 minutes Telfair played. And during the 51.7 minutes Foye played, the D gave up just 84.5 points per 48. Offensively, the Wolves produced 101.4 points per 48 during Telfair’s stints, 95.2 under Jaric, and 87.3 with Foye.

    Now the disclaimers. This is preseason, it is a very very small sample, the lineups were in a constant state of flux, and it all don’t mean a damn thing come the opening tip on Friday. Duly noted? Okay, back to the figures…

    Aside from John Edwards, who played less than six minutes and won’t make the traveling squad, the plus/minus goat is clearly Gerald Green, who logs a gross minus-60 in his 117.1 minutes of action (next worst is Corey Brewer’s gross minus-49 in 195.8 minutes), and has a net minus-28.4 per 48 minutes (aside from Edwards, next worst is the departed Mark Blount with a net minus-20.4 per 48 over 73.1 minutes). And Rashad McCants had a very nice preseason, finishing with a net plus 16.8 per 48 minutes, which was not only third on the team behind Telfair’s net plus 25.6 per 48 and Theo Ratliff’s net plus 17.0 per 48, but is a more substantial stat because Shaddy logged 144.6 total minutes, sixth on the team and more than both Telfair (74.3) and Theo (102.4).

    For those into tea leaves reading, Al Jefferson was far and away the leader in minutes played with 247.1, followed by the departed Ricky Davis with 208.2. Brewer was third 195.8–a sign of how much the Wolves want to develop him as well as his rare, on this team, good health–and Jaric, unfortunately for him, was 4th, making his bad defensive stats that much more damning.

    Again, it is only preseason. But there you go.