Nothing was normal on the morning of Wednesday, November 5, at Stratford High School in Goose Creek, South Carolina. For one thing, there were no drugs in the school. If there were, the fourteen police officers plus one drug-sniffing dog should have found them when they swept into the school, guns drawn, and sent students … Read more
At one table, two devils wandered through a postapocalyptic wasteland. At the other end of the room, a boy and girl passionately embraced, but tragically, she turned into a robotic killing machine and chased him all over the city. (Modern love is like that.) Across from them was another pair of lovers whose affair was … Read more
My dad is tougher than your dad. Yep. I speak the truth, so don’t even try to talk to me about it. My dad is taller than your dad, he’s funnier, and cooler, and you know what? He’s smarter, too. There’s proof. Uh huh, shut up there is! My dad once swam across White Bear … Read more
Assigning guilt by association is as American as motherhood, apple pie, and Chevrolet. The thinking goes something like this—if X is a bad person, and you are somehow tied to X, then you must be a bad person, too. This becomes especially true if those ties are familial, and person X is accused of a … Read more
This year, it seems like there are more serious bike riders than ever, judging by the proliferation of Lycra on city paths. The Twin Cities have long been the secret capital of cycling: Two of the world’s largest bike-parts wholesalers are headquartered here, some of the best bike frames are built here, and we may … Read more
It’s become apparent that our little Metro Transit system isn’t exactly a municipal moneymaker. “Dismantle it!” come a hundred basso-profundo bellows from the radio’s right end. What good is it? It drains the city coffers, has no effect on congestion, and some are now claiming, in the wake of the bus strike, that crime actually … Read more
By coincidence, two relatively new bandstands have come to grace the St. Paul riverfront less than a thousand yards from each other. The Heilmaier Memorial Bandstand is situated on Raspberry Island, a neglected little spit of land in the middle of the river below the Wabasha Street Bridge, while the Target Stage hulks over the … Read more
June 20, 2004 Well, the time has finally come. Hennepin-Lake Liquors’ Summer Wine Sale is in full force, running through July 3rd. Reportedly, this is the sale to beat all sales, and I pretty much have to agree. Be advised, however, that newcomers to Phil’s place, or those who are at all claustrophobic might become … Read more
June 9, 2004 The near-monsoon rains and sudden burst of heat tell us two things: 1) summer is arriving, and 2) it’s time to prep the barbeque for the long grilling season ahead. And, besides a frosty beer from time to time, nothing goes better with grilled meats than the big-fruited wines from California, Oregon … Read more
I can’t think of anyone whose career I am more interested in or more forgiving of than Prince’s. Let it be known, I’d follow the tiny man who penned “Shockadelica,” “The Cross,” “House Quake,” and “Bambi” into the gates of hell if he asked me to. In the nineties I was one of those diligent … Read more