Any Old Business?

How it is that I…how is it…or, rather, why it is that I…that I seem to keep…or, really, that I do keep, that I keep ending up…that every single night I look at the clock, I look at the clock and it’s two o’clock in the morning, it’s three o’clock in the morning and I…I […]

The Wasteland

This month marks the third anniversary of Yo Ivanhoe, and considering the similarly wasted years I spent shoveling words in a similar hole (Open All Night) at City Pages, I’m not much in the mood to celebrate five years of futility. When I first started doing this nonsense I was nothing but a clueless conscript […]

He's Abbott, I'm Costello: Cross-Wired Conversation With My Dog At Two A.M.

Would you say? I would say, yes. Say what? That is the question. Yes, that’s the question. No, that is the question. No question mark. What is the question? Say what? I said, "What is the question?" And I said, "Say what?" I heard you the first time, but I still haven’t heard your answer: […]

Do I Repeat Myself? Very Well, Then, I Repeat Myself

For many months, on her way to and from school each day, Gloria had paused at the pet shop window to gaze with a combination of adoration and desire at the pretty little accordion nestled there in wood shavings and newspaper confetti. Each night at the dinner table she would beg her parents to let […]